Am I a Scrooge?

[joshsmom]

I had my family over to my home Christmas Day for dinner--this is tradition in our family. This year I bought a set (2 colors/4 different designs) of stockings to put the silverware in on the table. I thought it would be a cute way to present the silverware. As I'm putting all the dinnerware away, I notice that two of the stockings are missing. I have a 7 year old nephew that loves to play with whatever he can find and I just figured he was playing with them. I mentioned something to my sister (nephew's mother) and she said that he didn't have them. My mother piped in and said that my other sister (32) and her husband thought they were "cute" and took them WHAT?? No one said "hey, cute party favors can we take these home," they just stuffed them in their pockets and took them My mother, always the peacekeeper, said "oh, just let them have them." WHAT??? They are part of a set! I didn't say anything more but I wasn't a happy camper. As they were leaving, I saw them sticking out of my BIL's pocket and I said "OH, that's where my wayward stockings are! He got angry, threw them on my couch and stormed out of my house. This is a 33 year old man.

My question: was I a Scrooge for not letting them have the stockings? They WERE NOT party favors. They were a set specifically for silverware. No one ASKED me if they could have them--they just pocketed them and then got angry when I said something about them. My mom still thinks I should have just "let it go and let them have them." I disagree. Opinions?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No your family is completely rude beyond all reason to steal from you!!!!!

 

[iloveboardwalk]

Hey! I need some new dinnerware and I know where I can go to get it: Your MOM'S house!

 

[minniecarousel]

I'd have done the same thing as you! Thankfully, he ended up leaving them, so you got them back. That's a good deal. Who cares if he got caught stealing? ('cause that's waht he was trying to do - steal from you.)

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

Sounds like something that would happen in my family. I have a sister who tends to help herself to things. Nail polish, earrings, you name it. I'd have been like "hand over the stockings, and nobody gets hurt."

 

[UrsulasShadow]

No, you are not a Scrooge, and your mother should have done a better job of raising your sister....seems she did fine with you! At least you have a conscience.

 

[joshsmom]

I'd have been like "hand over the stockings, and nobody gets hurt."

Hindsight is 20/20!! I couldn't think that fast on my feet--but that would have been a GREAT thing to say. "Wayward stockings" was all I could come up with at the time

 

[Toby'sFriend]

My opinion would be: if they asked nicely and you weren't too attached to them, it would have been a nice gesture to let them take them. It wouldn't be required, but it would be nice.


If they steal them, let him stomp away.

People are just nuts.

 

[Kay7979]

I think you handled it the right way. You weren't nasty about it, and addressed the situation with humor. If the thieves were angry over you wanting your property back, then that's too bad. If there was any doubt over the stockings being party favors, they should have asked before taking them. Clearly, they didn't care what you intended.

 

[Honu]

He's embarrassed he got caught stealing. His problem. You did nothing wrong. You owe them nothing, they owe you an apology. I'm glad you got them back.

 

[hucifer]

My opinion would be: if they asked nicely and you weren't too attached to them, it would have been a nice gesture to let them take them. It wouldn't be required, but it would be nice.

If they steal them, let him stomp away.

What they said.

 

[barkley]

for future get-togethers install a homeland security checkpoint at the exit door. provide each guest with a plastic container into which they must empty all pockets and place their shoes

you were not a scrooge.

 

[sweetspicy]

I don't think you're a scrooge and I'm not trying to defend them, but sometimes things like that *are* meant to be taken home by guests. Maybe they just thought that they were? But they still should have asked.

 

[tiggersmom2]

No your family is completely rude beyond all reason to steal from you!!!!!

I agree!!! Complete weirdos

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I think they knew the stockings were not party favors; otherwise they would have apologised with something like "I'm so sorry, we didn't realize!" instead of the angry reaction. Also, why would there be only 4 party favors for a houseful of guests?

I think you handled it very well, and you are not a Scrooge. I can't believe some people today who think it's OK to just take whatever isn't nailed down! And what a jerk the sister's boyfriend is for the snotty attitude! And so is your sister for stealing from you. Unbelievable!

 

[Missy1961]

My opinion would be: if they asked nicely and you weren't too attached to them, it would have been a nice gesture to let them take them. It wouldn't be required, but it would be nice.


If they steal them, let him stomp away.

People are just nuts.

I totally agree! They were wrong, you are right. And I love the way you handled it--I never would have thought of that.

 

[hentob]

He got angry, threw them on my couch and stormed out of my house. This is a 33 year old man.

He threw a hissy fit b/c you didn't allow him to steal

 

[froglady]

Were there stockings at each place setting, or just on the table? I know that if I put something inexpensive at each place setting, I consider it a favor, rather than just decoration. In fact, I had several "favors" (votive candles in inexpensive holders that I had decorated) left over from a dinner party because some guests didn't hear me telling everyone that they were favors. Candy would always be considered a favor, as were the Christmas crackers and place cards I used Christmas Day.

I would be irritated if I discovered my snowflake candleholders or beaded snowflake napkin rings missing, however, as they were obviously purchased and not made to be given away, and matched the table linens and china/crystal.

I guess my point is how expensive were the stockings, did they LOOK to be part of a set that was obviously intended to be reused year after year (vs disposable appearing), and COULD/MIGHT they have been given as favors under other circumstances?

 

[lillygator]

I don't think you were a Scrooge....they obviously knew they were wrong if they got mad about it.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I had my family over to my home Christmas Day for dinner--this is tradition in our family. This year I bought a set (2 colors/4 different designs) of stockings to put the silverware in on the table. I thought it would be a cute way to present the silverware. As I'm putting all the dinnerware away, I notice that two of the stockings are missing. I have a 7 year old nephew that loves to play with whatever he can find and I just figured he was playing with them. I mentioned something to my sister (nephew's mother) and she said that he didn't have them. My mother piped in and said that my other sister (32) and her husband thought they were "cute" and took them WHAT?? No one said "hey, cute party favors can we take these home," they just stuffed them in their pockets and took them My mother, always the peacekeeper, said "oh, just let them have them." WHAT??? They are part of a set! I didn't say anything more but I wasn't a happy camper. As they were leaving, I saw them sticking out of my BIL's pocket and I said "OH, that's where my wayward stockings are! He got angry, threw them on my couch and stormed out of my house. This is a 33 year old man.

My question: was I a Scrooge for not letting them have the stockings? They WERE NOT party favors. They were a set specifically for silverware. No one ASKED me if they could have them--they just pocketed them and then got angry when I said something about them. My mom still thinks I should have just "let it go and let them have them." I disagree. Opinions?

I think it was probably a case of misunderstanding and then embarrassment. If it were me, I'd just let it go. I wouldn't have said anything to them in the first place. I probably would have thought they thought they were party favors. And to be fair, quite often party favors are left at the dinner table places.

Were they terribly expensive? Honestly I wouldn't think twice about letting them have them. Now, it sounds like there might be a history of bad feelings between you. That makes things different.