Am I a horrible person?

[ecoon]

My DF's two sisters are in our wedding as groomswomen and about two months ago we found out one of them is pregnant and will be about 7 months along at the wedding. When I 1st found out I was upset because we already had her dress and now we would need a new one , but we were able to exchange it for another size but I am still upset whenever anyone mentions it. I guess I am just bothered that she might steal some of my thunder on the wedding day since it will be the 1st grandchild and all. It is already all his family can talk about and no one ever brings up the wedding unless it is to discuss how she is going to be feeling durring the flight and the wedding. His mom already worships his sister and so basically I am feeling a little jealous...am I a horrible person?

 

[Stacerita]

No, I wouldn't say you are a horrible person. Just human. We all get jealous from time to time. Its just how we deal with it is what makes us be horrible. I dont think you are horrible though. I would be a little put out by having to get another dress. And I can totally get where you are coming from about her "stealing your thunder". Remember, the wedding is only one day in your life, your marriage is forever. Keep it all in perspective and things will be fine. But, no, you are not a horrible person.

 

[hmgolden]

I agree with Stacerita - not horrible, just human. Its hard when you are so excited about something, and everyone else is excited about something else. Don't worry though, I am sure your SIL won't stand a chance of stealing your thunder on your wedding day. Even if she is pregnant with the first grandchild, you'll be the bride. And I would bet that your SIL has some reservations about having to walk down the aisle in a bridesmaid dress while being 7 months pregnant - she'll probably want you to steal any 'thunder' she has at that point

 

[hisprincess]

I want to tell you that you are not being horrible. I understand completely how you feel. FSIL is prego right now too, and DF family is all wrapped up in her and the pregnancy and not even seeming to care about our wedding. It makes me sad because I am so excited and would like to talk to them about what I have planned, but they always change the topic to FSIL. The funny thing is, she is probably the only one that actually shows interest and will sit and talk with me about it occasionally.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I understand and you are not alone! It sucks sometimes, but I'm sure that as long as she doesn't go into labor on your wedding day (which is highly unlikely) she won't steal your thunder on that day!!

 

[ecoon]

Thank you so much for all your kind words! I feel like such a self-centered brat complaining about this situation but I feel like if anyone would understand it would be my fellow Dis-ers! I am really not typically like that! hisprincess... I am so glad to hear that someone else is going through the same thing. I never thought I would take my wedding so seriously but it really kind of takes over your whole life and I just want our family to think it is as important as we do.

 

[JonetteA]

I totally understand how you feel. It is definately normal. Just realize that the only person that can steal your thunder that day is you. I think you are going to be absolutely gorgeous, and you will be the "Belle" of YOUR ball!!! Don't let people steal your joy!

 

[ecoon]

I totally understand how you feel. It is definately normal. Just realize that the only person that can steal your thunder that day is you. I think you are going to be absolutely gorgeous, and you will be the "Belle" of YOUR ball!!! Don't let people steal your joy!

Thank you so much! I feel a lot better since reading the responses, sometimes I guess you just need to get your feelings out there to see how silly they are. At least I know I have something to look forward to after the wedding is all over...we will have a new neice or nephew!

 

[tink774]

I don't think you're a horrible person at all! I know how you feel; I'm not currently engaged (getting married in about 5 years) but my boyfriend's FSIL (his brother's fiancee) is days away from delivering the first grandchild, and it's all his family has been talking about for months. I'd been feeling a little pushed out because I'm years away from any of that, but I talked to his mother and she actually felt very bad when I told her how I'd been feeling. Don't worry, everybody gets jealous. I guess I was just upset because my BF and I have been together a lot longer than they have but since they're a few years older they have a head start on marriage/family while we're just working on finishing college right now.

I'm sure that if you talk to your FIL's about how you feel, eventually they will understand. It's great that your FSIL is interested in your wedding, though, maybe the rest of them will catch on. And no matter what, of course they'll be excited for you and your DF on your day. Haha, by then your FSIL may be tired of the attention anyway and tell them to lay off. I know I would. Their son will be marrying the girl of his dreams, so they'll be thrilled and more than happy for you!

 

[Janell]

Your not horrible, just human. And the day of your wedding, it will be about you. Your going to show up in this amazing white dress, your DF will take one look at you and he wont be able to take his eyes or his mind off of you. And thats all that matters. And when the day is over and it does go by fast, the most important thing is your married to the man you love.

I do think that FSIL is being really sweet, if she is one of the only people asking you about the wedding. It shows she isn't trying to steal your thunder. Now hopefully the family will follow, but if not, you can always chat with FSIL about it, sounds like she wants to know whats going on.

 

[ecoon]

I don't think you're a horrible person at all! I know how you feel; I'm not currently engaged (getting married in about 5 years) but my boyfriend's FSIL (his brother's fiancee) is days away from delivering the first grandchild, and it's all his family has been talking about for months. I'd been feeling a little pushed out because I'm years away from any of that, but I talked to his mother and she actually felt very bad when I told her how I'd been feeling. Don't worry, everybody gets jealous. I guess I was just upset because my BF and I have been together a lot longer than they have but since they're a few years older they have a head start on marriage/family while we're just working on finishing college right now.

I'm sure that if you talk to your FIL's about how you feel, eventually they will understand. It's great that your FSIL is interested in your wedding, though, maybe the rest of them will catch on. And no matter what, of course they'll be excited for you and your DF on your day. Haha, by then your FSIL may be tired of the attention anyway and tell them to lay off. I know I would. Their son will be marrying the girl of his dreams, so they'll be thrilled and more than happy for you!

Thank you, you are so right. I don't know if I could get up the nerve to talk to his mother about it..we are not that close, but I think she is pretty perceptive and I think she is sensing that she shoud be a little more interested in the wedding. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that they really are not trying to hurt my feelings, and therefore I know they will be on their best behavior. I guess I just needed my fellow Disers to make me feel better!

Your not horrible, just human. And the day of your wedding, it will be about you. Your going to show up in this amazing white dress, your DF will take one look at you and he wont be able to take his eyes or his mind off of you. And thats all that matters. And when the day is over and it does go by fast, the most important thing is your married to the man you love.

I do think that FSIL is being really sweet, if she is one of the only people asking you about the wedding. It shows she isn't trying to steal your thunder. Now hopefully the family will follow, but if not, you can always chat with FSIL about it, sounds like she wants to know whats going on.

Thank you for reminding me what what is important. It is so easy to forget when you are planning the big day! All the comments on here have really helped me to put everything in perspective. Plus I have talked alot about it with my DF and he completely understands how I feel. Now I feel like I can put all this jealously behind me and just enjoy my day.

 

[Janell]

Your more then welcome Emily. Its easy to loose site of whats importand about your specail day. Im glad that the boards are helping you.

 

[dopeynme]

A horrible person would never stop to wonder if she was horrible!
Hang in there, it will be a beautiful day!