Age of child to put self on bus and come home after school?

[Poohforyou]

Wow that's sad.

What's sad about it? Many 8 year old kids are capable of being alone for a period of time. There's a big difference between leaving an awake 8 year old alone for 15-20 minutes and leaving a sleeping 8 year old alone for 2 hours and expecting that child to get herself up and off to school without incident.

 

[SmallWorld71]

If you go to latchkey-kids.com, you can see a summary of what is legal in each state.
The only 2 states where what the OP is suggesting would be illegal are Illinois (minimum of 14, which is a bit absurd IMO) and Oregon (minimum age of 10). Other states either have a SUGGESTED age, a younger age (8) or in MOST cases, none at all. (Which doesn't mean any child can be left home alone, just that it is on a case by case basis).

That said, the more I think about this question. The more sure I am that I wouldn't do it. It's not the actual getting herself up and getting ready that's the problem for me. I think most kids can handle this by around age 8. It's all the other factors that COULD occur. There's just too much wiggle room in there.

Out of curiosity, I asked my DD10 what she thought. She technically gets herself ready every morning but I am there. I actually teach where she goes to school so we travel together.
She thought about it and said that she would do it if she had to. But, she just didn't think it was a good idea even though she couldn't figure out why.

OP - If you do go ahead with the plan. I would strongly encourage you to work out something with a neighbor. Whether the plan involve $, babysitting for them, whatever... I would need a guarantee that my daughter did indeed get on the bus.

 

[mom2rtk]

I would need a guarantee that my daughter did indeed get on the bus.

I agree. And honestly I wouldn't be comfortable relying on the school to call me if she didn't show up. All it would take is one mistake on the wrong day.

Our school sends out a call mid-morning if a child isn't there and nobody called them in sick. They have done this for years. Then one day I had a kid home sick and forgot to call the school...... I realized later that night nobody had called. It was merely an oops on their part. But from then on I knew I would never rely on the school to notify me if my child didn't show up.

 

[crayon3448]

I got myself off to school starting in the 1st grade. I wasn't home alone- my brother was there (he was 16/17) but he was always in his room asleep. My mom would wake me up in the morning and then leave. I watched TV, made myself some quaker oatmeal got dressed and went to the bus stop (right next door). The neighbor would make sure I got on the bus, although sometimes she sent me back home for a coat. And I never once missed the bus!

Only you know the maturity level of your daughter. Why not give it a trial run? Is there another parent at the bus stop who can call you if your DD does not make it to the bus stop?

 

[Gracefulskinny]

I haven't read through the the whole thread so sorry if something along these lines has been pointed out.

Before even considering it I would check your state laws. Where I live Children aren't allowed to be left home alone by themselves until the age of 11. I know someone who worked for child protective services for a while and regularly got called to look into cases where this was a common occurrence.

Beyond that 4th grade is just far too young. Have you looked into possibly highering a morning Nanny? I used to do something similar (only I was an after school nanny) for many years. If its someone you can trust you can give them a key and once everyone is off to school they can lock up. It doesn't seem like they would be needed for long so it wouldn't be too pricey. The common rate for me was $10/hr with a general set price for the week.

 

[hereyago]

A question for those who are posting about how would OP know if dd got on the bus. How do you know if YOUR child gets on the bus? Do you stand at the bus stop with them? If so would you do it through their high school years, because at some point, the tether has to be broken


I know a parent who would have her dd even in 7th grade call her via cellphone to say she was on the,bus. The mom was at home and could have gone outside and look down the street to see the bus stop. She very much lived in a stranger danger ideal.

The bus stop was changed for high school and she called the school and they suggested that she walk with her to the next bus stop, lol.

 

[mom2rtk]

A question for those who are posting about how would OP know if dd got on the bus. How do you know if YOUR child gets on the bus? Do you stand at the bus stop with them? If so would you do it through their high school years, because at some point, the tether has to be broken


I know a parent who would have her dd even in 7th grade call her via cellphone to say she was on the,bus. The mom was at home and could have gone outside and look down the street to see the bus stop. She very much lived in a stranger danger ideal.

The bus stop was changed for high school and she called the school and they suggested that she walk with her to the next bus stop, lol.

I think just getting on the bus is one thing.

Getting up, STAYING awake, eating breakfast, getting out the door on time, and locking up behind herself...... is a another matter entirely.

 

[ironpig70]

With me on nights and wife on days and oldest daughter at camp my son who's 9 had to get to the bus every day by himself. Bus stop is at the end of the street. We just set an alarm and when it went off he had to leave the house.

Did it a couple times with him and he was good to go.

 

[Poohforyou]

A question for those who are posting about how would OP know if dd got on the bus. How do you know if YOUR child gets on the bus? Do you stand at the bus stop with them? If so would you do it through their high school years, because at some point, the tether has to be broken


I know a parent who would have her dd even in 7th grade call her via cellphone to say she was on the,bus. The mom was at home and could have gone outside and look down the street to see the bus stop. She very much lived in a stranger danger ideal.

The bus stop was changed for high school and she called the school and they suggested that she walk with her to the next bus stop, lol.

My DD will be starting HS on Friday. I know she's gotten on the bus because she leaves and doesn't come home. I don't have to be at work until 9 so I'm still around after she leaves. The few times she's missed she's come back and I've driven her.

 

[hereyago]

I think just getting on the bus is one thing.

Getting up, STAYING awake, eating breakfast, getting out the door on time, and locking up behind herself...... is a another matter entirely.

OP has stated dd all ready gets herself up and dressed. And if by 4th grade a child(barring learning disabilities) can't make themselves breakfast then someone has not shown them or allowed them.

As I wrote earlier when dd started 4th grade she wanted to get herself up and walk to school(which.our school wouldn't allow k thru 3rd grade to walk without an adult with them).

You prepare kids for the path, not let them be kept in a bubble.

 

[nugov2]

Here in Illinois it is illegal to leave your child under 12 home alone. When I was a teacher we were told to report any child we thought was a latch key kid not of this age or didn't have a sibling 13 or older at home with them. I would report a 4th grade student left home alone, but not sure what your law is. I agree with pp that there are lots of things that can go wrong...missing bus etc, on top of it being illegal here, so I would never let my 10 yr old home alone before and after school.


ETA, that I just read through the thread and saw this posted.

I also wanted to respond to someone who said how do you know your child got on the bus. I know of no bus stop in this area that isn't a few houses away from each families house. Even high school has two stops on my block. So I can see the bus stop from my porch and now and can watch the kids walk the two houses from the stop home. Like pp said a school may not report an unexcused absence until midday or not at all. If something happened to your child you may not know for hours. At that young age I wouldn't take that chance. 12, 13 etc. is much different. I guess if you gave them a phone they could text you when they got on the bus.

 

[emer95]

A question for those who are posting about how would OP know if dd got on the bus. How do you know if YOUR child gets on the bus? Do you stand at the bus stop with them? If so would you do it through their high school years, because at some point, the tether has to be broken


I know a parent who would have her dd even in 7th grade call her via cellphone to say she was on the,bus. The mom was at home and could have gone outside and look down the street to see the bus stop. She very much lived in a stranger danger ideal.

The bus stop was changed for high school and she called the school and they suggested that she walk with her to the next bus stop, lol.

Our bus picks the kids up at each house. We don't really have "bus stops" around here.

 

[LisaR]

OP has stated dd all ready gets herself up and dressed. And if by 4th grade a child(barring learning disabilities) can't make themselves breakfast then someone has not shown them or allowed them.

As I wrote earlier when dd started 4th grade she wanted to get herself up and walk to school(which.our school wouldn't allow k thru 3rd grade to walk without an adult with them).

You prepare kids for the path, not let them be kept in a bubble.

Are you suggesting that any 4th grader who isn't completely without adult supervision for two hours in the morning, getting themselves up and ready for school, making their breakfast, locking up the house, and getting themselves down to the bus stop is living in a bubble?

I assume your 4th grader, like most 4th graders, had an adult at home while she was getting herself ready for school? If she did oversleep, woke up with a sore throat, got sidetracked, or burnt the toast and set off the smoke detector, I am guessing you were there to help her out? It is one thing to prepare kids for the path, but most parents do it with a dose of supervision on the side when they are in grade school.

 

[mom2rtk]

OP has stated dd all ready gets herself up and dressed. And if by 4th grade a child(barring learning disabilities) can't make themselves breakfast then someone has not shown them or allowed them.

As I wrote earlier when dd started 4th grade she wanted to get herself up and walk to school(which.our school wouldn't allow k thru 3rd grade to walk without an adult with them).

You prepare kids for the path, not let them be kept in a bubble.

LOL, deciding against having a 9 year old be entirely responsible for a morning routine (with no adult home to oversee) does not a bubble make.

As I stated earlier, being a parent also means anticipating the things that can go wrong..... things a 9 year old cannot foresee. For example, my daughter walked to grade school on her own. But if there was a thunderstorm, I made a decision to change plans for the day and drive her instead. If I looked out and saw a stranger loitering, I might have decided to change plans and drive her for the day. Absent a responsible adult overseeing the morning's routine, a child might not make those same decisions.

 

[Poohforyou]

Are you suggesting that any 4th grader who isn't completely without adult supervision for two hours in the morning, getting themselves up and ready for school, making their breakfast, locking up the house, and getting themselves down to the bus stop is living in a bubble?

I assume your 4th grader, like most 4th graders, had an adult at home while she was getting herself ready for school? If she did oversleep, woke up with a sore throat, got sidetracked, or burnt the toast and set off the smoke detector, I am guessing you were there to help her out? It is one thing to prepare kids for the path, but most parents do it with a dose of supervision on the side when they are in grade school.

Exactly, thank you for posting this. I bet we've all had times when our kids went to bed feeling fine and woke with a fever, vomiting, sore throat etc. I know I'd feel horrible if my 9 year old woke up to an empty house feeling sick like that. There are just too many things that can go wrong with the scenario the OP is trying to work through.

 

[NFLDERS]

The law in my province states you have to be 12 to be left alone so it would be illegal for a 4th grader to be home alone before school in your scenario.

My DH was a School Bus driver for the first few yrs in retirement. At that time Drivers were not allowed to pick up or drop off kids under 12 if they were alone, or not with another person older than 12 yrs of age.

We are in Niagara region.

 

[mjantz]

The bus here doesn't stop at every house. It stops at specific intersections. My HSer has to walk to the end of our street & about 2 blocks to get on the bus. AND, as a HSer he has gotten himself up & ready for school every AM. He has to get up about 5:30 & no one else in the family has to get up that early so he does it himself. We have had a few hiccups where he missed the bus but 99% of the time he gets there.
IDK if I'd let my 4th grader do this. Maybe with a few weeks of trial runs or an agreement of a neighbor that she can stay there after she gets ready but before the bus comes.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

It highly depends on your areas latchkey laws and your 4th grader's maturity.

In Idaho we have no set age that kids can be left alone so I was left in charge of getting my younger brother and myself off to school in the morning and back home after school when I was in 4th grade. My mom worked in a bakery so she had to be to work before 5am and my dad is a truck driver so he was never home during the week.

However, my brother wasn't mature enough to get himself off to school on time even when he was in high school so mom would never have left him in charge in 4th grade like she did me.

I'm of the opinion most 4th graders could probably handle walking 4 doors down to get to the bus but you definitely have to take your child's personality into account.

 

[Poohforyou]

My DH was a School Bus driver for the first few yrs in retirement. At that time Drivers were not allowed to pick up or drop off kids under 12 if they were alone, or not with another person older than 12 yrs of age.

We are in Niagara region.

Really? My dd was under 12 in middle school. A policy like that wouldn't fly here. Kindergartners cannot be dropped off without an authorized adult meeting them. If no one is at the stop the child will be taken back to school. After that there isn't any policy.

 

[JessicaR]

This would not have been an option for me and mine. I wouldn't put them in this position. Without saying they are capable or not. And I have one that is. But that is me.