Advice needed

[ibelieveinmagic]

hi, this is kind of a long story, but i have just found out that my mother is being robbed by her step granddaughter who is living with her. My mom stopped over yesterday and was upset because she had a negative 300.00 balance in her account even tough she just got her ss check, my daughter asked if she thout {Gina] was stealing from her and she said yes!!!! But not to let us -me and 4 sisters know!!!! so far we have found out that she has charged her cc 9,000.00 including first class plane tix and my mom wont tell us what else. She told my daughter her stomach hurts because of worry all the time and she cant even buy an icecream cone for herself. This person has been part of the family for a long time and we are stunned!!!! We know we have to take action but what? Any advice would be appreciated!!!!!!!!!

 

[Serena]

Call the police. She is stealing. Call banks and credit cards and let them know what is happening.

If she does nothing she will be liable for the charges. (I think)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Your mother needs to call the police.

 

[minkydog]

Call the police and the credit card companies--tell them you have to report identity theft. She may have some recourse or some protection if she reports. Otherwise, she'll be responsible for ALLLLL the charges..

You need to have Adult Services involved right away--your mother is in an abusive situation. This person has commited a crime. I know your mother probably is angry and embarrassed and very upset, but you can to turn this girl in. If i came over to her house and "borrowed" your credit cards to fly first class to God-know-where wouldn't she call that stealing?? How about if I just signed your mom's SS check over to me?? Would she call that stealing?

Tell your mother that you're going to call the police. Let them come out to the house and talk to you all. If this girl is stealing from your mother,there's no telling who else's identity she may have stolen. The police would be very happy to hear her story.

 

[s&k'smom]

I would also call the CC companies and tell them you believe someone has been using the card illegally, they'll stop further charges on the CC and begin an investigation.

 

[AshleyW]

hi, this is kind of a long story, but i have just found out that my mother is being robbed by her step granddaughter who is living with her. My mom stopped over yesterday and was upset because she had a negative 300.00 balance in her account even tough she just got her ss check, my daughter asked if she thout {Gina] was stealing from her and she said yes!!!! But not to let us -me and 4 sisters know!!!! so far we have found out that she has charged her cc 9,000.00 including first class plane tix and my mom wont tell us what else. She told my daughter her stomach hurts because of worry all the time and she cant even buy an icecream cone for herself. This person has been part of the family for a long time and we are stunned!!!! We know we have to take action but what? Any advice would be appreciated!!!!!!!!!

How old is your mother? If she has a granddaughter old enough to do these things, I'm assuming she's elderly. If so, this is elder abuse. You need to report it to Adult Protective Services. The Ohio number is 866-635-3748. I used to work in an assisted living home, and unfortunately, this happened all too often - usually by trusted family members.

 

[ibelieveinmagic]

Thank you all so much, my sisters and i are all in very upset, not sure which direction to turn, my my loves this girl, but we CANNOT sit by and let her be robbed blind, we are all going over tommorrow to confront this girl[ there is another long story about a settlement this girl is supposed to be getting i guess she is signing the paperwork tommorrow and she says she will be paying my mom back some of it. I think this is a fabricated story that she has been telling my mom to get more money from her! So far, we know of 15,000.00. We are sick.

 

[smiley]

Thank you all so much, my sisters and i are all in very upset, not sure which direction to turn, my my loves this girl, but we CANNOT sit by and let her be robbed blind, we are all going over tommorrow to confront this girl[ there is another long story about a settlement this girl is supposed to be getting i guess she is signing the paperwork tommorrow and she says she will be paying my mom back some of it. I think this is a fabricated story that she has been telling my mom to get more money from her! So far, we know of 15,000.00. We are sick.

Do not believe anything this girl is telling you. Have the police meet you for the confrontation. It seems like in your heart you really want to resolve this issue without involving law enforcement. Do not let your hearts lead your heads. She has committed a crime. Police are paid to investigate crimes. Some of your family members may get upset with you for involving the police but, bottom line, you need to protect your mother.

 

[Disney Doll]

It is a crime. It should be treated as such, as long as your mother did not knowingly loan her money or loan her the CC to use or anything of that nature.

Call the police, call the CC company, put a fraud alert in your mother's SS#, get credit reports, call the police and have her arrested...you have no idea how much damage this girl could have done. I wouldn't believe anything she says about a settlement and payback...it's not going to happen.

She could leave your mother destitute.

 

[momof1princess]

it isn't necessary to confront her. file a police report and have her arrested. i BEGGED my grandmother to do this when she found out my mother had opened a credit card in grandmother's name and charged over $10,000 on it, but my grandmother couldn't bear to put her daughter in jail. PLEASE, benefit from my experience and stop it now. the best thing you can do for the step-granddaughter is have her arrested. she'll never stop until she has to. i speak from personal experience. my grandmother has enabled my mother all her life and is STILL enabling her.

 

[ibelieveinmagic]

thanks everyone, this a a huge mess and something "i never thouht could happen to me" or someone i love .Mom of 1 princess, i'm sorry, it must be so painful for you as well, thank you for your advice.

 

[doxdogy]

I agree with all the other posters. Call the police and have her arrested. We found out that my sister did almost the same to my father. She opened a credit card in his name and had herself put on as an authorized user and the bills were sent to her house. We found out all of this after my father passed away. I was all for having her arrested, but my brother (executor) just made sure she paid the card off.

 

[AlohaPolynesian]

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine and her family called the police. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I can't offer any advice since I have never been in the situation before, but I am sending some pixie dust your way and hope that things will work out soon!

 

[RadioNate]

You can actually call the police (at least in FL you can.) I did when my grandfather's caregiver was stealing from my grandmother.

She took jewelry and money. My grandmother didn't want the police involved or to tell anyone but this girl needed answer for her crimes.

My grandmother never got her stuff back but the girl is still paying restitution.

You need to call the police. Confronting her will do nothing. She might even say your mother allowed it.

 

[LadyZolt]

Just want to say I agree with all the posts that say notify the police (even if the victim -- yes, she's a victim -- does not want to get the criminal -- yes, she's a criminal -- in trouble) and the elder abuse authorities in the area. The criminal will continue to do this as long as she can and she must be stopped. And just ask yourself -- if this were you in your "golden years," wouldn't you want someone to advocate for you and help? I sure would!

I hope your mother gets back the stolen money.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[momof1princess]

thanks everyone, this a a huge mess and something "i never thouht could happen to me" or someone i love .Mom of 1 princess, i'm sorry, it must be so painful for you as well, thank you for your advice.

thank you i pray your situation works out. it is difficult for everyone involved.

 

[OceanAnnie]

You can actually call the police (at least in FL you can.) I did when my grandfather's caregiver was stealing from my grandmother.

She took jewelry and money. My grandmother didn't want the police involved or to tell anyone but this girl needed answer for her crimes.

My grandmother never got her stuff back but the girl is still paying restitution.

You need to call the police. Confronting her will do nothing. She might even say your mother allowed it.

I agree. It will do no good to confront her. If anything, she will see how serious it is and start covering her tracks.

You've gotten a lot of good advice. I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. Your poor mom!

 

[minkydog]

I agree. Don't confront her. Let the police do that. If you confront her, she may just decide to disappear with your mother's money. She may have opened credit cards and gotten loans in your mother's name! Don't threaten her, just do it. You can't believe a word she says, so why would you even entertain her story? and you KNOW there's going to be a story

People like this girl never change until the consequences become painful. Don't give in to your (misguided) feelings of wanting to maintain family unity. She's made her illegal choice. She had NO feelings of family loyalty, no conscience, and no character. She's laughing all the way to the bank