Advice for a newly Widowed Dad??

[Cody Beight]

I am a recently single dad. My wife passed away a few weeks ago from an unexpected surgical complication. She was the love of my life for 20 years and we were married for 11 years. High school sweethearts and i am 34 now with twin two year olds and an adopted daughter who we adopted prior to getting pregnant who is 6 months older than the twins. She made me promise I would never cancel the trip no matter what happened so we are going to Disney the week before Thanksgiving and I am terrified. I would love any advice possible. My sister is going with us as well as her father who is Poppy to the kids. I am grieving but I now we need this trip for some Disney magic in this dark time. Thanks for everyone's support and I would appreciate any advice. We have a few ADRs and a made a few fastpasses before the surgery. I dont know about dessert parties due to the kids ages and they love everything Disney. Thanks for advice and I am so thankful for this forum of people who love the magic of Disney as much as my family.

 

[KrazeeK120]

I have no advice, but I really just wanted to offer my sympathy to you and your family. I'm the same age as you and I can't imagine raising my son alone. You sound like a fantastic dad! I really hope you and your kids have a magical trip!!

 

[monique5]

Wishing you on your upcoming trip during this time for your family. My deepest sympathies.

I would make sure to book your 3 FP+ per day. Include Character M&G in your FP+, not sure of kids heights, but PP, WtP, Barnstormer, Soarin'?, VotLM, Frozen Sing Along. ADRs w/characters H&V (B), Disney Jr. characters, TH, CP, GG. FoF parade.

 

[kmb584]

Go and enjoy yourselves. I'm sure there will be emotional moments, but those are to be expected. A loss is hard to swallow but you know that your wife wanted you to continue with this vacation so do so and make a ton of memories while you're there.

The ages of your children actually make it easier I believe on the FP+ front, as some of the most popular attractions (Flight of Passage, 7DMT, Soarin, Test Track) are off-limits due to their height. If you/you're family are interested in them, just book FP+ for one or two and ask for a rider switch pass. That'll allow the third adult to ride after (with another adult if they so choose) via the FP+ queue. I would highly suggest taking advantage of FP+ and booking the initial 3 that you're allowed. It'll make for some easier moments as toddlers aren't all that great with waiting in long queues.

An awesome way to meet characters without the lines is booking character dining. There are numerous options but we've always enjoyed Akershus for the princesses, Hollywood & Vine for the Disney Junior characters, 'Ohana for Lilo and Stitch, Chef Mickey's for the Fab 5, and Garden Grill for Chip and Dale. The food isn't award winning but I don't think it's awful either. We've never been dissatisfied with the meals we've had at any of those restaurants.

 

[Cody Beight]

Thanks so much I have booked H&V on Monday, Tusker House on Tuesday, Garden Grill on Thursday after we get kicked out of MK for Christmas Party and Ohana on Friday morning before we leave. My wife loved the Poly and I think the kids will to!
I have booked some FPs but it hard hard to know what to book when. Also my kids love to watch Fantasmic on Youtube and I am not sure if I can book the desert package since there are no dining packages available now at H&V.

 

[anomamatt]

My deepest sympathies. I admire that you are still taking the kids. I am sure it will be difficult at times managing them in WDW, but hopefully the trip will bring much happiness and an escape from daily life.

Unfortunately, I do not have any advice on going as a single parent. But you mentioned the parties and not being because of your kids' ages... Maybe you know this, but I wanted to note that your kids being under 3 means they would be free for the dessert parties. When our kids were under 3 it made it a little easier to do things like dessert parties. Because I knew they would not eat much, but at least it was free. And as mentioned, FPs are a bit easier because under-3 don't need FPs. And also as said above, rider switch can be really helpful when traveling with young kids.

 

[Bbguy5]

So sorry for your loss, I just can't even imagine what you're going through.


I'll be there that same week so if you're staying at movies or okw, I know my 3 y/o would love some kids her age to play with (and I'm always down to get a beer). We're also probably the same age.

I don't have any suggestions as a single parent but I would suggest keeping their routines. If today they nap from 1-4, let them nap from 1-4. We generally make fast passes all in the morning, leave the park around 12-1 and are back in the park around 4-5. If you need a break, take a break.

I would suggest the Disney jr show at Hollywood studios if you haven't gotten that yet. Generally a kid favorite. A fast pass really is not needed though, so you could fast pass fantasmic.

Monday Wednesday and Saturday are late mk days that week(11 or 12pm closings) so you have plenty of time those days to leave and come back if necessary.

Make sure to take a ton of photos. Ask for some magical shots. If you aren't getting memory Maker, get a photo pass card and I can get you the photos after the trip.

Have a magical vacation with your kids!

 

[Lvsdisney]

My condolences on your loss. I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now.

My only advice is to speak up if you need a minute (or an hour) by yourself to grieve. I know everyone has lost her, but try not to only focus on the kids and remember that you need grieving time too.

Also, to help the kids build memories of her, go on your wife's favorite rides and meet her favorite characters and explain to the kids how much their mother loved those things. I think keeping her a part of the trip will be wonderful. I know some people try to avoid sad conversations, but I feel talking about the deceased is such a great way to keep them alive in your heart.

Good luck. I hope the trip is as enjoyably as it can be for you and your family.

 

[kmb584]

Thanks so much I have booked H&V on Monday, Tusker House on Tuesday, Garden Grill on Thursday after we get kicked out of MK for Christmas Party and Ohana on Friday morning before we leave. My wife loved the Poly and I think the kids will to!
I have booked some FPs but it hard hard to know what to book when. Also my kids love to watch Fantasmic on Youtube and I am not sure if I can book the desert package since there are no dining packages available now at H&V.

You don't necessarily need a dining package for Fantasmic. Having one makes it easier knowing you'll get into the theater before others, etc. but we usually hop into line 30 or so minutes prior and get seats just fine (we travel to WDW in June and December, not peak season but not quiet either).

I agree that it can be hard knowing what/when to book. My best advice is rope drop each park at least once. Those first couple of hours are precious time savers. Book FP+ for 10 am - 1 pm. After riding the third or letting it expire if you don't use the FP+, you'll be able to choose a 4th FP+ for either right then, depending on attraction/availability, or at another time that is suitable (after an afternoon break, for example, if you plan on taking one). If you have an FP+ for Buzz at, let's say, 11 am but you aren't able to use it for whatever reason, you can change the time of the FP+ to one that suits better. It's better to book the 3 and know you have them compared to getting frustrated because one isn't available, etc.

 

[FatherForce]

Let me say this - the trip will be overwhelming and cathartic.
I know because my wife of 22 years passed away unexpectedly in June 2014. We had planned to visit in January of 15. So, we went , and I our 15 year old daughter and my 32 year old stepson had a private little ceremony on the beach at the Poly. We said our goodbyes and let loose a balloon and watched it ascend toward the castle until it was out of sight.
It's a memory we'll never forget, and we've visited that spot since, and, people will say we're crazy, but we feel her there with us.

Have a great time. Laugh, drink it all in, and know she is with you.

 

[BriLovesDisney]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

The only advice I can give you is to enjoy this time with your children as much as you can, take lots of photos for memories, and if you need time for yourself be sure and take it.

It sounds like she would want you to have a magical time there and to enjoy your trip.

 

[Mrs~Incredible]

Hey OP. Just another hug of support from an internet stranger. My deepest sympathies to you- there really are no words for this. I hope you find some moments of joy amongst your grief.

It’s ok to be sad at Disney.
It’s ok to take a break.
And it’s ok to feel happiness in a moment that catches your heart.

Will be thinking of you.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

My condolences. I have no good words for what you're going through.

My mother (who was my rock and my best friend) passed away in May 2006 after a six year battle with colon cancer. She loved Walt Disney World as much as I did, and made me promise to go as soon as I could to remember our good times there. So, at the beginning of December I went on a solo trip. I had a good time, despite having my grief feel very fresh at times. I cried a few times, but you know what? She was right-I needed the magic. I hope you will, too. Make memories and talk about her to the kids, even though they're very young.

 

[soniam]

I am not a single parent, but my mother became a single parent when I was 2. It's a hard road, but your children will be very close to you always. I recently took our son, who is 11, on our first trip by ourselves. It was actually really fun, and he has asked to go again with just the 2 of us, even though I have always secretly suspected he feels closer to his father. Just try to relax, plan, and enjoy the moment. The best part of a Disney trip with kids is watching their expressions and them enjoying the park. If you need to take a break, do so. If you need to not follow all of the rules you follow at home, then do it. For instance, ice cream for breakfast is not always a bad thing If you need some alone time, then lean on your sister and dad. They will completely understand. I hope you have a great trip, and I wish you the best of luck raising your children.

 

[cgh]

I am so sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking.

As for your question, you have some things planned and I think that is perfect. With the really young set, it's just great to let them lead the way in many regards. At that age, the monorail, all the vehicles on main street, the carousel, are all GREAT. Little kids, as you know are exhausting and the park can be overwhelming. We do naps, and early bedtimes when our kids are that young because then everyone is happier.

I think all that would be perfect. I imagine you might want some space too on the trip and downtime might be in order.

Make plans with the under 3s and they laugh.

 

[sqpcsqpc]

I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you have a wonderful trip that helps you along your journey of healing. In regards to trip advice, you are in the right place. This board has lots of good advice. Grab a few ADRs, books some fast passes and most of all go at the pace you need to.

 

[DisneyMom2000000]

My heart breaks for you, but I think its amazing that you are going through with it, and I'm sure you will be happy that you did.

As far as advice with the little ones... just take in the moment when you see their happy faces. Go at their pace. Enjoy them and feel like a kid again with them, even if you only feel like a kid again for a moment.

 

[senadler]

So sorry for your loss. I think it says a lot for your strength to not only go through with the trip, but to for look for help to making it a great experience for your kids.

With the age of your kids, I think your best plan is to RD every morning, and make FP+ for late morning. If they are already fans of some of the characters, plan a meal or meet with their favorites. Take tons of pictures! While they may not remember much from a trip at this age, my kids love looking at their pictures with characters when they were very young.

Overall, just giving the family some magic in such a difficult time will hopefully help all of you heal.

 

[Karen46]

I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you will be at Disney and hopefully find some smiles and memories with your beautiful family. Please remember to use the babycare centers in each park if you need a break or help with the three children. It is a wonderful place to change a diaper, sit for a minute and get everyone ready to go back the parks.

 

[Tomh]

Oh gosh, so so sorry this happened to your family! I can't even begin to imagine.

Now then, I would say make sure you have your 3 Fast Pass selections made for every day. Don't over plan, trying to fit too much stuff in. Take your time, see and enjoy all that is around you, and do your best to make some wonderful memories with your kids. It will be good for all of you to try to get your minds off things, even if only for a moment here and there.

Are there any specific things motivating your terror? There are many here who can provide plenty of help with planning, etc. but I think we probably all need to know exactly what help it is you need in order to provide it for you.

Kids are pretty young, so many of the big attractions aren't going to be a concern for you anyway. At DHS, maybe do Toy Story at rope drop, and book an FP+ for it as well. It might be one of the more popular rides with the kids, so doing it twice may be a good idea. The Disney Jr show might also be a good idea, and the ariel show is pretty cool with the in theater effects.

In AK, I bet they will like the Navi' River Journey ride, and perhaps some time at Rafikis Planet Watch. I bet they will get a lot of enjoyment out of the petting zoo.

Overall though, I think it is all going to be about just being with them, and making some good memories!