Adult Step-siblings

[shirleyb]

Based on It's A Happy Day's thread: I have two adult step-siblings that I never see. When I am with my dad and stepmom, I will ask about them and their families, but we don't all get together. They have their visits with the parents, and I have mine.

We were all grown, or pretty much, when our parents married, so I never felt a need to have a relationship with them.

Years ago, we used to see them occasionally at my dads place on holidays, but because Dad and his wife have a small place now, they usually only have one family over at a time.

It's not that we're unfriendly, it's just that we don't really have a need to bond, KWIM. I never really thought much about it until I read It's A Happy Day's thread. It never occurred to me to include them in anything, and obviously it's never occurred to them either.

Is this usual or unusual?

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My father has 1 full-blooded sister, 2 half-sisters, 2 half-brothers and several stepbrothers and stepsisters. My father is the oldest at 60 and the youngest is a little younger than my sister (mid-30's). My dad doesn't really talk to any of them except for his full-blooded sister. We pretty much just see the others at family functions and whatnot. My dad was grown and married by the time his father married his third wife and his half-brothers were born. I never thought about it being usual or unusual. Interested to find out the answers though.

 

[mickeyboat]

I have a step-mother. My dad re-married 5 years ago, to a woman about 2 years older than me. I had some difficulty at first, but the more I got to know her, the more I grew to love her. She is a very good friend to me, and is very supportive of my relationship with my dad, even so far as to suggest
they move up here to be closer to us.

I have a step-nephew, who I rarely see and barely know.

Denae

 

[lovemygoofy]

My mom married when I turned 18 to a man with 2 boys older than I am and a girl 8 years younger. They are my brothers and sister and I know they feel the same. We talk at least once a month if not more and their children call me Auntie T. Even when our parents are having troubles(more time than not) we are still brothers and sisters. It tooks us a long time to come to that though and our parents made it a goal to have us get along and want to be a family.

 

[CharmCityGirl]

have a stepsister and stepbrother. They are about 10-13 years older than I am. I used to see them somewhat frequently when I was younger and lived at home. But in the past few years I've only seen them maybe once a year at family functions. I've never seen my stepbrothers children! I've thought ahead to when my mother and stepfather pass away, I doubt we will keep in touch and I'm ok with that.

 

[Stitchfans]

My dad remarried a couple of years ago. His wife is so sweet, and so considerate of others. I have nothing negative to say about her. She has 3 boys and one girl. All grown up with their own families. Two of her sons come to family holidays, etc and I've bonded with them and their families. The other son and her daughter are another story. They more or less made it clear that it is us and them.

When all of the "kids" are grown sometimes it just doesn't work out were everyone gets along or likes each other.

 

[Disney Doll]

My DBIL is in the situation where his father remarried when gthey were adults, so his "step" siblings and he aren't close. If they encounter each other (at family gatherings, funeral etc.) they are not unfriendly, but they don't seek each other out.

It would seem to me that if you all weren't raised together from childhood or teenage-hood, then you might not be "close" unless the step-sibs were people you could be friends with, with our without the marital relationship of the parents.

It would seem to me that civility would be nice, but I don't necessarily think you all need to be best friends.

 

[GEM]

My mother remarried a few years after my father's death. My brother, sister, and I were alreaedy grown, moved out, and leading our own lives. The man she married has two grown children, older than we are.

We like my mom's husband very much. He's a great guy. However, I never introduce him as, refer to him as, or think of him as my "step father". I always introduce him as "my mom's husband."

I would never, ever introduce or think of his children as my "step brothers". We've met them, of course, but we don't spend any real time with them or know them well. They have their visits and we have our visits. We really haven't tried to blend our families or anything like that. We all get along fine, no problems. But, I would never think of his sons as being my family. And, I'm sure they would feel the same.

To me, the whole idea of "step" parents, siblings, etc. really only applies when you're talking about a child.

 

[shirleyb]

My mother remarried a few years after my father's death. My brother, sister, and I were alreaedy grown, moved out, and leading our own lives. The man she married has two grown children, older than we are.

We like my mom's husband very much. He's a great guy. However, I never introduce him as, refer to him as, or think of him as my "step father". I always introduce him as "my mom's husband."

I would never, ever introduce or think of his children as my "step brothers". We've met them, of course, but we don't spend any real time with them or know them well. They have their visits and we have our visits. We really haven't tried to blend our families or anything like that. We all get along fine, no problems. But, I would never think of his sons as being my family. And, I'm sure they would feel the same.

To me, the whole idea of "step" parents, siblings, etc. really only applies when you're talking about a child.

GEM, this describes our situation exactly.

 

[Youarehere]

I am close to my step-siblings and my half brother. We almost always see each other at holidays and in between at moms or dads. I talk to my half brother even more than my brother. We are all adults- youngest is 28. We all just got along.

 

[Amlee]

My mother remarried when I was 10 and my brother was 8. He adopted us when I was 12 and my brother was 10. His kids at the time they married were 18DS, 15DS, and 10DD. At the time the 18 year old was the only one that had anything to do with him. (his ex-wife is a big bee with an itch! She told the kids all kinds of lies about him and my mother.) It was only after they got old enough and smart enough to go pull the court records to see who cheated on who, that they started coming around.

His DS's have always included my brother and I in their plans. Their kids call us aunt and uncle and we interact with them often. The older two girls know that we aren't blood related, but the younger ones don't have a clue. They haven't figured it out yet.

Now his daughter is a completely different story. is the best was to discripe her. She left town when she graduated and never looked back, unless it benefited her. She lives about 4 hours south of us.