accumulating "stuff" + purging

[disykat]

Since several of us are in the middle of cleaning out homes I've been thinking about this even more than usual. I am not a hoarder by any means, pretty minimal, but I do have lots of books, music, dishware, etc. Every year as I put away Christmas decor etc. I try to reduce a bit, but even not being a "stuff" person it is hard to get rid of things I love!

How often do people go through their homes to reduce clutter?
What are your tried and true tips?
Do you sell or donate?
Do you continue to buy "stuff?"
Do you give "stuff" to other people as gifts?
Have you had any luck getting people to stop giving you "stuff" as gifts?

I think after I finish my parent's home, I'll do a big declutter on my own home and then maybe an annual purge? I plan to do a BIG purge at least by age 75 (and then keep it up) so I'll be ready move or at least be done with some of the physical WORK of downsizing before potential age-related health issues.

I tussle with my husband over trying to get him to empty some of the harder to reach places like an attic space over the garage. He is starting to agree with me that we have plenty of storage more accessible and there is no need to have stuff up there, but feels no rush. I started this campaign when I had a frozen shoulder a few years back and couldn't handle the folding staircase. He ignored me and guess who has frozen shoulder now?

Anyone want to discuss the nitty gritty of "stuff" management?

As for me, I did a pretty good purge at the beginning of COVID, but that has been several years and I'm noticing a creep. I have a big "grandchild closet" for my non-existent grandchildren, but it's organized well and should be easy to offload. DH has more of a tendency to keep things that will be garbage to other people than I do. (In my opinion, of course!)

 

[Boopuff]

I'm in a constant state of purging. After our last move, where we moved way too much "stuff" I'm constantly re-evaluating my surroundings. Some stuff my DH tries to sell via our local community FB page (with some success) and most just goes to Goodwill. I had a hard time parting with my parents stuff, but it wasn't mine, or my taste so I just let it go. Feels so much nicer.

 

[Skippy918]

Anything we don’t need, we purge. I’m on my local buy nothing group and it’s a great way to pass stuff along that I don’t need.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I schedule a VVA pickup for a few weeks in the future which forces me to go thru stuff and donate

 

[TheOneWithTheTriplets]

This is a tough issue in our house as Hubby and I have very different philosophies. Too much "stuff" gets me anxious. If we get a gift we're never going to use, I'd rather exchange it or donate it before it ever takes up room in our house.

Hubby grew up in a house with a huge, finished basement and full, walk up attic. His parents saved *everything* to the point that, in the 2010s, they were bringing down and purging old black and white TVs that they had put in the attic just in case their new, color TV gave out. So, maybe 40 years of just putting anything that wasn't broken or ruined into storage "just in case".

We do not have the room and I do not have the inclination for that kind of storage. Rather than creating purge situations, I try to be realistic about not storing things to begin with. With the kids' stuff, I save a few important/sentimental things and give the rest away while it's still of value to someone else.

We have had a few relatively large purges because, when we moved into our 4 bedroom home as a couple, we had closet space to spare. As the kids have wanted their own rooms, that has prompted us to reconsider what is worth allocating space to and what we can say goodbye to.

As to how we give it away, I absolutely adore our local Buy Nothing group on Facebook. Rather than donating to goodwill and hoping things don't get trashed, I'm giving items to neighbors who genuinely want them. I just did some purging today of clothes that I know won't fit the kids by next winter. It's great to know that 1) I get that space back and 2) some other family doesn't have to go buy winter boots or a ton of new winter clothes because they're getting use out of our hand me downs. (With triplets in the same size, I have way more clothes to pass down that my one niece could ever wear.) Home goods, furniture, tools, you name it goes through that group and it's incredible both to see things get put to use and to get stuff that you need. Our kitchen table is actually a buy nothing gift, and then we gave away the prior table (too small for our family) to another neighbor who needed it. It's a great way for things to get a second life with someone who will make good use of them, instead of loading up the landfill. Honestly, that group makes the whole purging process more pleasant because it's great to see things that were collecting dust making someone else happy, instead.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

One of the blessings of this pandemic for me has been truly letting go of stuff! I have never been a stuff person but sure had accumulated an excess of it--including stationary supplies and yes, gift items, too. What helped spur me on was actually remaking all my scrapbooks! I can be sentimental and over the years had saved both cards and pictures alike. For me, it comes down to, if I am not actively using something in a serving way than the item has become stuff. It is not bringing joy to anyone let alone serving God. With photos and cards, I kept only what truly still brought back positive memories for me and would continue to do so in the future. Long term rather than in the moment. With stationary supplies, I have been blessed to share in a number of ways from church to sending out extra happy mail of cheer, to a friend who is a Chemo Angel.

My suggestion is to start small, with one particular category such as I remember pre pandemic helping an elderly friend go through her spices and take the time to physically take out and put together all of that item (such as spices). I was sure surprised when I did that with something as small as stickers! Small steps and not trying to it all at once also make a huge difference. Maybe decide to start your books since they may all be in one place. I recently was reminded of Little Free Libraries. Also, some Assisted Living Facilities would probably welcome books for their residents. Just a couple of ideas off the top of my head.

Try to also remember, this can absolutely be hard and I am actually keeping in prayer this very thing about a couple Christmas gift jewelry items, that a gift to you is a gift to you! Passing something on to someone who could truly use or appreciate it would be an extra present to yourself as well.

Hug and encouragement to all!

 

[PollyannaMom]

I recently helped my folks with just a little of their downsizing (moving from being "snowbirds" between New York and Florida to just the smaller house in Florida) and it was enough to really kickstart getting rid of some clutter here. I do not want to have to do it all at once like they are (or worse, leave it for DS to do if something happens to us).

How often do people go through their homes to reduce clutter?
I kind of do it in fits and spurts. But I do pick up the pace once a year when DH's Lodge has a flea market that we donate to.

What are your tried and true tips?
If you're not sure about stuff, put it away for a while and when you open the box back up, look at it with fresh "would I buy this now" eyes.

Do you sell or donate?
Mostly donate. I have no patience for yard sales, and I'm not on Facebook.

Do you continue to buy "stuff?"
Some, but less than I used to. I'm trying to keep the "one in, two out" idea in mind.

Do you give "stuff" to other people as gifts?
If I think it's something they'd really like. But I also like giving experiences.

Have you had any luck getting people to stop giving you "stuff" as gifts?
If they ask directly, I might suggest an experience type gift, restaurant gift card, etc. But I'm not really a minimalist. I still use and enjoy a lot of things, so gifts don't really bother me.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I’m not a huge buyer of stuff.
We purge continuously - I have a box and if something catches my eye and I think “why do we have this” in the box it goes to get donated.

Really curious what kind of stuff people are keeping?

We don’t really exchange gifts besides one draw name - but that’s one or two items for less than $100 once a year. Close to people with exchange with and have never got anything we don’t love or want.

Only other regular gift we get are elderly in-laws who give us a cheque at Christmas and for birthdays.

 

[tvguy]

I think we have purged stuff twice in the 39 years we have been in our house. After my MIL passed and we had to clear out her house and move some things to our house, and again when my mom passed away. No question, we have things that should be purged, but having helped a friend move after 25 years in the same home, we really don't have a lot of extra stuff compared to some folks.
Our house has a 2 car garage and I warned my wife, there will ALWAYS be 2 cars in the garage, no storage. We have nothing in the attic. We have no basement. Those two rules have kind of forced us to not keep a lot.

 

[disykat]

What kind of stuff are people keeping? For us it just accumulates because we've lived in the same space for 25 years. When I was younger, it was easy to purge when/if we moved and I didn't really have an issue.

I am not a stuff person, but I sure have a lot of it! What I have learned though from cleaning mom and dad's house is to worry less about generic stuff and spend more time purging and managing paperwork, photos, old letters, etc. I digitized a bunch of photos and letters for mom and dad that I knew we would want to keep a few years back, so now I'm working on ours. The junk drawer is also truly a lot of junk so I'm trying to manage that better. Mom and dad seemed to have a lot of junk drawers!

 

[CdnCarrie]

What kind of stuff are people keeping? For us it just accumulates because we've lived in the same space for 25 years. When I was younger, it was easy to purge when/if we moved and I didn't really have an issue.

I am not a stuff person, but I sure have a lot of it! What I have learned though from cleaning mom and dad's house is to worry less about generic stuff and spend more time purging and managing paperwork, photos, old letters, etc. I digitized a bunch of photos and letters for mom and dad that I knew we would want to keep a few years back, so now I'm working on ours. The junk drawer is also truly a lot of junk so I'm trying to manage that better. Mom and dad seemed to have a lot of junk drawers!

I lived here for 20 years and don’t find it accumulates except kid stuff.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Great suggestion, Pollyannamom to gift experiences! Especially right now during Covid, time with someone you love or care about sure is extra precious.

 

[Imzadi]

I've recently fallen down a decluttering & organizing rabbit hole on Tiktok after someone was highly recommended to me and then that Tiktok person recommended a second person.

What I've found I like about the short Tiktok format is that people have to cut right to the core of what message they want to get across. None of the endless yammering that often happens when someone has an unending video on YouTube.

This first person, Alison Lush, is a certified professional organizer. She said in one TikTok that as you are emotionally attached to some stuff, there really isn't a right or wrong answer as to what memorabilia (items you are not currently using,) to keep. That's personal. However, there are some questions to ask oneself, like is it getting in the way of basic functioning? Do you have the space to keep it all?

In this video below, she talks about how memorabilia are really items from a certain space in time. Do those items fit this space in time and who you are now and how you are living?

https://www.tiktok.com/video/6939126563577269510

In this video, she just got some beautiful new bowls that she loves and is planning on using them now. So, rather than just stuffing them on top of her other dishes, or inconveniently playing Jenga with all her dishes each time as she tries to get out the ones she wants, she's actively reflecting on how interests and what's going on in our lives changes all the time. She does an inventory and removes the least used ones to get rid of or put into storage.

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7055707276623006981

It's interesting. I've never been taught to think that way. For clothing, yes, we learn how things are seasonally in style then should be swapped out. But home decor and memorabilia, have always been static items to me. They come in and then they tend to stay. When I let go of stuff, it has more to do with that I don't have the space for it all. Which am I willing to part with? It never really occurred to me to reflect on the fact that some items meant a lot during a specific space in time, but aren't currently "Me" anymore and do I really need to keep so many of them, regardless of if I have the physical space? I've purged more in the last few weeks than I've done in a long time.

 

[sk!mom]

How often do people go through their homes to reduce clutter? I’m a teacher so every summer, at least. Although since my kids have grown up there is less need as we accumulate far less.

What are your tried and true tips? My personal motto is if something isn’t used/enjoyed at least annually then it goes (DH does not share this philosophy.)

Do you sell or donate? Very occasionally I’ll sell something if it’s worth the trouble. In May, I sold our pandemic purchased workout equipment for $300. But also in the past year, I’ve put a sofa, love seat, recliner, and a washer/dryer on the curb, posted to FB sells for free. All were working but old. They were snapped up quickly. Mostly, I donate.

Do you continue to buy "stuff?" I try to be very mindful and careful as I hate waste and clutter. It also helps that I don’t like to shop. When I buy something new, I donate whatever it is replacing in most cases. I love shoes so I’m very strict with myself here. I have built in shoe racks in my closet so I only allow myself to have the amount it will hold (it’s more than enough.) When I buy a pair, an old pair gets donated every time. This keeps me from buying shoes that I don’t need.

Do you give "stuff" to other people as gifts? Very very rarely. If I don’t know what you would use or enjoy, you’re probably getting something consumable or a gc. I send Crumbl frequently to friends on a birthday or while recovering.

Have you had any luck getting people to stop giving you "stuff" as gifts? Pretty much except for my mom and student gifts. With my mom, I’ll keep things and use them for a while and then I donate if it’s clutter. With student gifts, if it’s “stuff” like mugs and such. I use it for the remainder of that school year so that they will see that it was appreciated and then gather and donate at year’s end.

I get stressed by clutter and I DO NOT want to saddle my kids with it. DH is a work in progress. He has a hard time releasing stuff- he still has stuff from his own childhood. He buys even less than me though so it doesn’t accumulate and each time he sorts, he gets rid of a bit more. I convinced him to empty the attic a few years ago and he was happy once done as neither of us wants to go up there.

 

[AustinTink]

Our neighborhood has a "Buy Nothing" group as part of the Buy Nothing Project. I guess you could say it's like a digital swap meet. Whenever I clean out anything from the garage, to a closet, to the refrigerator I take pic of the items and put them on the Buy Nothing board. They get snapped up immediately. It's a wonderful way to declutter while contributing to your community.

I'm in declutter mode right now. I have to take it seriously to balance out my husband who never throws anything away. He's a "collector".

 

[tvguy]

What kind of stuff are people keeping? For us it just accumulates because we've lived in the same space for 25 years. When I was younger, it was easy to purge when/if we moved and I didn't really have an issue.

Most of it has some meaning to it, no matter how small. I have the manual typewriter I used for 9 years in my first full time job out of College. Produced 1,800 newscasts on that typewriter. They went computer just before I left and a year later sold off all the typewriters for $10 each. They had paid $800 each for those typewriters 10 years before.
I have a globe I got as a Christmas gift close to 60 years ago. We have our first cell phones, bag phones, that we got in 1990.
My Little League championship trophy from 1968. My son's Little League championship trophy from 1998. My daughter's soccer trophy. My wife is slowing moving the kids stuff to their houses. One old Desk top computer, I have to look at see if there are any photos on the drive I want to save. Mind you, I retired that computer 15 years ago and still haven't gotten around to doing that.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Most of it has some meaning to it, no matter how small. I have the manual typewriter I used for 9 years in my first full time job out of College. Produced 1,800 newscasts on that typewriter. They went computer just before I left and a year later sold off all the typewriters for $10 each. They had paid $800 each for those typewriters 10 years before.
I have a globe I got as a Christmas gift close to 60 years ago. We have our first cell phones, bag phones, that we got in 1990.
My Little League championship trophy from 1968. My son's Little League championship trophy from 1998. My daughter's soccer trophy. My wife is slowing moving the kids stuff to their houses. One old Desk top computer, I have to look at see if there are any photos on the drive I want to save. Mind you, I retired that computer 15 years ago and still haven't gotten around to doing that

I can’t imagine keeping that stuff. We had a old globe. No issues donating it years ago to thrift store on my way to work. Would never keep something like that. Same with old cell phones. Drop in old electronic recycling depot. Easy peasy.

Haven’t had a desktop computer in 15 years - it went to electronic recycling depot.
Give his kid his trophy.

 

[tvguy]

I can’t imagine keeping that stuff. We had a old globe. No issues donating it years ago to thrift store on my way to work. Would never keep something like that. Same with old cell phones. Drop in old electronic recycling depot. Easy peasy.

Haven’t had a desktop computer in 15 years - it went to electronic recycling depot.
Give his kid his trophy.

Like I said, many items have some meaning to them. The globe was one of the last Christmas gifts my dad gave me before he passed away when I was 9.
The computer can go when i check the hard drive for photos, then smash the hard drive. I've got 65 year old eyes, laptops, tablets and cell phones just don't cut it. I struggled with a lap top for 15 months working from home, NEVER again.

 

[VandVsmama]

How often do people go through their homes to reduce clutter?

I go through our stuff about once every 6-12 months.

What are your tried and true tips?

I first go through my stuff and set things aside that I haven't used in 6 months and things that I know that I don't want to hang onto. Then I go back a month later and review the pile and then it physically leaves the house. For DH's stuff, I set his stuff aside and then ask him if he wants to keep or get rid of it. Since he likes to hang onto stuff, he usually says that he wants to keep it.

Do you sell or donate?

Usually donate or toss. We usually never bother with selling. I don't like selling stuff online. If we sold stuff, it would be in our annual neighborhood garage sale.

Do you continue to buy "stuff?"

Yes. But what I try to do is when we buy something new, we get rid of something else. For example, last winter, I got a wonderful fluffy cozy throw blanket from Costco. We all fight over who gets to use it. But I also got rid of 2 other ratty older throw blankets that were past their prime. Or like when I bought some newer towels several months ago...I got rid of the older towels. You only need so many towels and blankets. 2 sets of towels per person in our household, plus a couple of sets of towels for guests. By comparison, we've got a relative who's got enough towels to have an entire marching band over at her house. LOL.

Do you give "stuff" to other people as gifts?

No. Well, I don't give other people my "stuff" as gifts. I have been on the receiving end of MANY people gifting me their stuff. And they never actually asked me ahead of time if it was something that I wanted to receive. Also, most of the time, they 'gifted' me something I never wanted. And guess what? Most of that stuff ended up in a donation pile to Goodwill or Salvation Army.

Have you had any luck getting people to stop giving you "stuff" as gifts?

Yes and no. Depends on the person who's doing the giving. Most of our older relatives give me things that they think I should have instead of something I actually want.

 

[tvguy]

I certainly could get rid of a lot of clothing. When we retired last year my wife donated all but 2 of her work outfits to charity (I think she had about 16 outfits).
I've got 20 work shirts, and 7 button up shirts. I live in Tee Shirts now, so I certainly could do the same and donate a bunch, but my closet is half empty, so why bother?