About father's

[PaulaSB12]

My father died 26th September 2004. The months after where rather horrible I had to destroy his personal porno collection (when I mean HIS porno collection I mean HIS) I had to tell the credit card companies of about 30 cards and several banks they where not going to get any of his money back. Now this is what I want to know if anyone else has had. From the moment I saw my father's body in the local hospital I completely blanked all memories of my father. ALL memories. I have been told things by family members but have no memories of him what so ever. Its now nearly six years later an not one memory has returned I can't even picture him in my mind. Has anyone else ever had that and if so did any of your memories come back at all?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My only memories that have been blocked have been due to a trauma or tragic circumstance.

Could it be that the tasks you had after his death had anything to do with it?

 

[binny]

I mean this in the most caring of ways so please dont be offended. It sounds to me that you are suffering from some post traumatic stress and perhaps seeing a Dr about it would help? Im not an expert but I did lose my dad too about 16 years ago I know how hard it is.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I mean this in the most caring of ways so please dont be offended. It sounds to me that you are suffering from some post traumatic stress and perhaps seeing a Dr about it would help? Im not an expert but I did lose my dad too about 16 years ago I know how hard it is.

Might be worth a try and don't worry you haven't offended me at all I just wondered if anyone else had this happen to them.

 

[bumbershoot]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry about that.

You know, shortly after my mom died, I couldn't hear her voice anymore in my head. And after my husband's dad died, just like that, he couldn't hear his dad's voice in his head.

I can remember what my FIL sounded like, but hubby cannot. Other people can remember what my mom's voice sounded like, but I cannot.

For me, it took a couple weeks to stop being able to remember her voice. With DH it was instant. I never saw my mom sick or after she had died. I kept getting sick, and then she kept putting off (for good reasons) my visit, then I just flat out chose to not go to the visitation hour or see her at the funeral. But my husband saw his dad shortly after he died; he had just left the hospital to pick up his mom, and got The Call as he was pulling into their apartment complex. So about half an hour after FIL died, they got to the hospital and MIL made DH go in with her.

Maybe it's the proximity, and how much you had to do, that's causing this huge loss of memory. I assume you remember other things from your life? It's not the whole memory that is lost, but just his part?

I feel so bad for you. Forgetting a voice is bad enough, but the whole person...


And I totally just got what you meant by "his" collection...ugh omg I feel even worse for you. How horrible. Yuck yuck yuck. That would be very very traumatic...

 

[PaulaSB12]

Yes its just my father I can't remember. I have wonderful memories of the rest of my family but can't remember him at all. I will have a word with my doctor next time I see him.

 

[karibritt01]

I was almost 12 yrs old when my Dad died. I do not remember much about him, especially if I am trying to recall things. I do remember things here and there, little things will trigger a memory I haven't thought of in years. People tell me that being almost 12 I should have lots of memories, but I think it was just to painful to remember them. My older brother died when I was 17, and it is the same way. Some vague memories, but not very many specific ones. My sister died 18 months ago, and I know that I subconciously block thoughts about her often, because it is very painful to let myself think about her and grieve.