? about ADRs and (fairly) large groups

[txmommy34]

We have a vacation coming up in January with myself, DH, DD4, DS1, DSis, DMIL, DFIL, DBIL, DSIL, DN2 & DN1--11 total. Some of our "best" dining reservations are with the entire group and there are a couple with just my immediate family group.

Now, here's the problem: DSIL canNOT get herself ready and out the door on time to save her life! Now that she has 2 kids, it's even worse! If we have a breakfast ressie at Akershus for 11 and 4-6 of them are not there on time, what can we do? I am cringing at the thought of DD crying b/c she wants to eat with the princesses, but Auntie couldn't make it on time, so we can't get in! DH says I should see if I can split our ressies into 2 groups, but then I'm afraid we won't get to sit together and DMIL & DFIL will have to choose which grandkids to sit with. Any advice? TIA!

 

[daisyduck123]

Any advice? TIA!

Yes, you lie to DSIL & tell her the reservation is 2 hours (or whatever amount of time she needs) earlier than it actually is.

So if your ADR is for 11am...you tell her it's at 9am. I've actually had to do that w/ my DSIL & it worked like a charm!

 

[shellybaxter]

Be honest with your sister in law and tell her she will break your daughter's heart if she is late because they won't seat you. I've done trips with large groups and on the important ressies I was brutally honest and everyone made an impressive effort to get there on time. It worked and we didn't miss a meal

 

[Tricia1972]

I would be honest that she needs to be there on time. You are leaving the resort at 9:15 am - not a moment later, and that if they are not at breakfast on time (10:45 for an 11:00 reservation) that you are checking in and anyone not there is responsible for their no-show fee.

And that's just what I would do. Get my family there on time, and check in on time with the number that is actually there. Tell the hostess that you only have 6 instead of 10 and would like to be seated as a party of 6. They'll charge no-show fees for those not there and pass the expense to anyone who doesn't bother to show up on time.

It's not worth you hurting your daughters because she's incapable of getting herself ready. Theoretically she's an adult and can take care of herself.

- Family issues suck. I've been there myself and despite my bravado, it is still hard to break away and stand up for myself. I know how you feel.

 

[ms*mountaineer]

I would split the reservation into two tables (if you can without losing the ADR altogether). If you are able to get everyone there on time, then you can ask that the tables be near each other - they can usually accomodate this. If your ADR is at 11 - stop by the restaurant early and explain that you'd like the two tables together if possible - stopping by early gives them time to accomodate you.

I would also do the suggestions from the PPs - tell your DSIL (and anyone else) that if they are late for the ADR, you are going on without her and she'll just have to pay the fee. Then enjoy your meal without her and don't give it one other thought.

Take the same approach with other meals and things you are doing together on your vacation. If she (or anyone else) is late - just go on without them and enjoy yourselves. Don't let a late person ruin your plans. Don't need to get mad at them - just smile and go on with your meal.

 

[disnut8]

I would tell the sister-in-law that she has some choices:

- be on time
- do whatever she wants but she'll be responsible for the no show charges
- do whatever she wants but *she* has to get the reservation split into two or else the above applies
- do whatever she wants and she doesn't eat breakfast with the rest of the family

My sister-in-law is usually late as well. Only once has telling her an earlier time worked. Other times, she's either there at the correct time (hence her arriving two hours early) or she just shows up at her normal late time anyway. For that reason, we never go out to eat with her and if the meal is at home (she's not even on time for holiday dinners), we eat without her and she has the leftovers later.

A family vacation has to involve compromise for everyone. Your sister-in-law just has to compromise for whatever meals she needs to rather than make everyone else in the family bend over backwards for her.

 

[txmommy34]

Thanks for all the great advice, everyone!

We won't get to see DSIL & DBIL at Thanksgiving, but at Christmas, I think I'm going to just try to sit them down and explain how important this particular meal is. (I'm not worried about lunches & dinners, just this one early breakfast.) Based on their reactions, I will then either call and see about splitting it up or tell them about the no-show fees. The good thing is that their daughter definitely won't want to miss the princesses, either, so maybe that and her love for my daughter will motivate her to get her rear in gear that morning. DMIL did say that maybe she could help get them out the door that day!

It definitely sounds as if I'm not the only one with ILs that can't get places on time! I don't get that. I think it's incredibly selfish to be perpetually late to the point that people start telling you to be there earlier than they expect you. I guess it takes all kinds.

 

[Willow25]

I would split the reservations there is no way I would count on someone who cannot be counted on to take my daughters feelings seriously. Disney will not seat you until your entire party is there. Don't take the chance.

 

[crisi]

Since her daughter wants to see the princesses, tell them that they should check in 15 minutes EARLY and that they WILL give tables away.

And they will, several years ago (after RUNNING to get to our reservation), my daughter and I were leaving Akershus and overheard someone at the front desk. Two little girls in princess dresses - in absolute tears, and Mom trying to argue that she HAD a reservation....and the CM saying "we are sorry, you weren't here and we gave it away....we cannot seat you."

(We have resorted - once - to lying. We knew that my always late brother in law was coming through the IG - so we checked in and told Biergarten that the whole party was there. They gave us the pager. My sister and her kids arrived before the pager went off - with a lot of hustle - my brother in law strolled in ten minutes later - we told the hostess he was in the bathroom.)

 

[DCDisney]

If they don't show up you will still be able to eat. Just tell her once it is the ADR time you will check in with however many people are present and after that they won't be able to accomodate anyone else (especially since you are supposed to check in 15 minutes early). It is vitally important to be at Akershus on time because they do the waves of seating so if you miss your wave I don't think they can accomodate you at all and people don't no show very much because of the deposit. Generally as long as some of the party shows up they won't charge the deposit for missing people.