As always, a great start, Kev!
Those of us on this side of the pond are dying to know ... with stain remover in hand, Tam didn't by chance, break out into a rendition of "nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey! hey! hey! good-bye", did she? (a la Kelly Rippa in the Tide stain remover commericals shown here.)
As for India's lingo, be thankful it wasn't full of expletives (a la some of the teenagers I've heard around here.)
Looking forward to reading more!