A question for parents who volunteer (or volunteered) in their childs' classroom..

[JESW]

At what age/grade did you stop volunteering in the classroom? I mean for daily activities and not special events like parties or book fairs or the like.

DD5 is in Kindergarten and I volunteer in her classroom one afternoon a week. I help the teacher and the aide in whatever they need. Most times I am at a center and the children come by and do the particular activity. I don't discipline or teach the children - I just help.

DS9 (almost 10) is in the 4th grade. Last year in 3rd grade was the first time I could help and I volunteered during their reading/comprehension time. Students were divided into groups and the parents worked with the groups. It was the only subject the teacher asked for help with. I also went in during classroom events (parties) and took pictures.

This year his teacher doesn't want/need parent volunteers in the classroom on a daily basis. I don't have a problem with that. These kids are now 9 & 10 years old and can work independently. One of the other parents is VERY upset that this teacher doesn't want/need help in the classroom. She thinks that she should know what is going on in there and I agree - up to a point. I know I can contact the teacher at any time and I don't need to know what is going on on a daily basis. But this other parent won't let it go and is trying to get other parents on her "side". Not sure what she hopes to accomplish by that...

Just wondering what others think about volunteering and when is a good age/grade to just let the kids and teachers alone.

Jill

 

[kasar]

My kids teachers know that I'm always available to help out. Some ask, some don't. I did help a lot more when they were in Kindergarten and then again in 3rd grade when they had "centers". I've also done library mom every year but that's not in the classroom.

I can't understand why she thinks she needs to know what they're doing every minute. If she trusts the school and teacher enough to send them there, let them do their job. The teacher is probably trying to get the students to work independently and to take on the responsibility of acting a little more mature. The mom should be proud that her child doesn't need her there anymore!

 

[disneygals]

In our elementary school it seems to stop at about 4th grade. However, all our teachers are different, some of the lower grades don't want help either.

I usually steer clear of moms wanting to change things! It's up to the teacher if she wants help.

 

[jrydberg]

Doesn't sound to me like the other parent really wants to help. If the teacher doesn't need or want help, why mess with that? Helping and staying informed are not the same thing.

 

[mudnuri]

I'd say around here, it's mainly done in Kindergarten.

We do volunteer for special events- etc.. but not as a daily thing like in Kindergarten.

I like you, know I can email DD's teachers at any time and find out whats up etc... very good communication here

Brandy

 

[amid chaos]

Some teachers prefer no volunteers for whatever reason. We have a very strong Volunteers in the Public Schools program here and 99 percent of the teachers love it. There are other things a parent can do besides be IN the classroom...volunteer in the office or library, even the nurses office or cafeteria and take over your teachers lunch duty would be very much appreciated.
You can correct papers at home, make copies, collate, lead a book club during recess, even straighten the classroom after school--with the teachers permission of course.

Suggest to this parent to find other ways to help out.

 

[disykat]

I think, regardless of age, you go with what the teacher requests. I volunteered in the room through about 4th with the exception of the years they teachers didn't request volunteers on a regular basis. One teacher at my kid's school had my oldest for 1st and my youngest for 3rd. She prefered not to have parent volunteers except for parties etc. so those years I didn't go in their room much. I never felt any concern about it - it was just her way.

There are lots of ways to "see what's going on" in her child's class. I have always seen my children's classes when I volunteer for vision & hearing screening, picture day, book fair, etc. Volunteering in the library is another good way.

If she truly wants to observe, she just needs to schedule a time with the office for her to do so.

Because I am such an active volunteer at school and also substitute teach there, I have had to make a distinct effort to stay out of my kid's hair as they get older.

 

[Disney01]

For me, it's been a bonding time with my son. Even at 5th grade, he still wants me there to volunteer. Up until 4th grade, he wanted me to have lunch with him on the day I volunteered. Now, he doesn't want that, but we do go out to breakfast on the day I volunteer. I will miss it when he goes to Middle school, but I think in elementary school, it should be okay for a parent to be involved. I would also be upset if I couldn't be there. Luckily, I am in a teacher credential program, so this year (5th grade), I'm helping her out with science because I need the experience, so that's sort of been how I still manage to help out.

 

[DVC-Don]

I was a classroom volunteer for both our kids. I was in the classroom 1 day a week for both. DD 1st grade & DS 3rd grade.

 

[pjlla]

DD is in 4th grade this year and I am continuing to volunteer. Sometimes if a teacher doesn't need/want classroom help, I have offered to do other things like help grade papers, run off photocopies, etc. I figure anything like that that I can do to help, will free up time for her to put towards the students. I have told most of the teachers I have volunteered for that I am there to help in ANY capacity....................P

 

[LMC]

If the teacher doesn't want help then there is nothing you can do about it. I don't know why they wouldn't take up an offer of some type of help though.
Sounds like somebody needs to "cut the cord" already. She can't force the teacher to agree to volunteers if the teacher is already set against it. My dd is in 1st grade and I was only utilized by her k5 teacher a couple of times (special parties) and the 1st grade teacher has not taken me up on my offer to help. DD can handle herself and I don't feel like I need to check up on things.

 

[JESW]

Thanks for all the replies - I am always amazed by the responses you can get on the CB - I consider it a wealth of information and help!

Just to clarify - this particular Mom volunteers AT the schools (her 2 kids are at different schools just like mine) EVERY day! Her beef is that this teacher won't let her IN the classroom. This Mom is deeply involved in EVERYTHING her kids do...helps coach the sports teams...has been co-room mother in EVERY class for BOTH kids, etc. She is not happy unless she is miserable - the type who puts her name on every list and wants to know all that is going on and then complains that she is so busy. When she has not been asked to chaperone on field trips she has gone along in her own car! I am all for volunteering in the school and plan to do it for years, but there is a point where you have to put your trust in the teachers and the school system. This mom also has no hobbies, her house is spotless, and she is totally uncomfortable to be in her house alone when the kids are at school and her DH is at work - these are things she has told me.

Just wanted to hear others opinions and thoughts....thanks again.

Jill

 

[Kallison]

At our school it pretty much stopped by 2nd grade. They still had parties and special events and surprise reader stuff. Why do your friends want to be in the classroom during teaching time -- that is very distracting to the kids. Some Moms may be fine, but others can really hinder the educational process. Time to cut the umbilical cord.

 

[poohtown]

i would think a teacher might find a parent dissruptive - and if that's the case the parent should respect the teachers views. I volunteered for 1st and 2nd grade and loved it, but there were times the teachers requested parents not be in the class. For 3rd, the teacher didn't want parents in class - no big deal. For 4th (now) the teacher has asked for volunteers but again not inside the class.

I'm curious does she feel she needs to keep an eye or the teacher or her child?

 

[melk]

Hi Jill!

I have volunteered to help out every year since my oldest started school. But the most I've ever done is been asked to go in to read to the class. This year though, my middle dd's teacher (grade 1) has asked me to come in to help with math groups, read and correct papers/cut out materials etc. I'm thrilled!
But this mother at your school sounds like she has some separation issues with her kids!
I have always chaperoned field trips, except one, but it didn't occur to me to follow them in my car!
So to sum it up, our school welcomes parent involvement, but I've found the teachers are all different as to how much they want.

 

[nativetxn]

When my son was 11, I stopped volunteering in his classroom ( he thought it wasn't cool for me to be there, then.)

I started volunteering in a special education room instead. A close friend was a special ed teacher and I really enjoyed my volunteer work with her.

Katholyn

 

[*Fantasia*]

I volunteered when my son was in Kinder and I also volunteered last year in 1st grade. The 1st grade teacher always say that we are welcome anytime and just sign-in at the office and just come in. I enjoyed going to my son's class. Sometimes the teacher even let me participate with the class. Now that he is in 2nd grade, I think the teacher prefers the parents not to be there, unless there's a special event or project that teacher would need help on. This is fine by me. No big deal, as long as my son is learning and having fun, I'm ok with it.

Now, my daughter is in Kinder this year, I volunteer in class maybe once a week or every other week. It is so fun to watch the kids learn and see them interact with the others. They are all so cute and adorable!

Since my kids go to Catholic School, I think all the parents are welcome to visit their child in their class. However, there are a lot of times that it is best for the parents not to be there cause it may destruct the students. And you have to let the teacher ahead of time when you want to visit. It really depends on the teachers. Some are welcome anytime in the class and some they prefer the parents not to be there unless it is by appointment.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with the above comment that this woman has some clear separation issues. I think it's great that she has the time to volunteer, but it sounds like she needs to give her kids (and their teachers) a bit more space. She sounds like a potential nightmare as her kids grow and demand more independence.

Back when my kids were in elementary school, we had the same sort of "field trip" moms who always tried to corner that market and always be the ones who went on the trips. The teachers were usually very effective about sharing the wealth among all parents who wanted to attend, much to these certain mothers' chagrin. And yes, they almost always followed the school bus in their cars to the field trip destination when they weren't the "chosen" chaperones.

It's sad sometimes, though, when parents are so overprotective that they unintentially cause their kids harm. One such mother that I've known since our boys attended kindergarten together, is STILL so possessive and protective now that her NINTH GRADE son is being taunted and teased at the high school (I did call the school and talk to the counselor to keep an eye on this kid; I would have felt horrible if I'd known about the grief he was getting and I stood by silently without doing anything).

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter is in kindergarten and no parents are allowed in the classroom at any time. The class mothers go in to do the holiday parties and parents can go on field trips but as far as being in the classroom while the teacher is teaching..no way.

 

[froglady]

The school that my daughter attended, and my son currently attends, doesn't allow parents to work in their child's grade, but can be a classroom helper in other grades.

I enjoyed working in grades above my daughter's, as it gave me a chance to know the teachers and curriculum. Then, once she was older, I could work with the younger children, and relive those years over again. I also volunteered for many of the "special" events, but not all.

The students start changing classes in the 4th grade (3 times a day, plus resource classes) and have single subject teachers in 5th and 6th grade, so they don't have classroom helpers.

However, the resource teachers also have parent helpers, so I help in the library; other parents help in the art room, music room, and computer center.

My son's class will be taking the annual 6th grade trip to DC this spring...I'm NOT going. He's a bit of a homebody, so I think going without me will be good for him.