A Grand Tour of The Entire Midwest, But Mostly Wisconsin (UPDATE 11/12--BONUS Texas TR NOW COMPLETE)

Which can be hard to come by when said boss is either elected or appointed

Extremely hard. But not impossible.

Wouldn’t waste the time.
Who’d care?

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I just like to know what someone felt was so dangerous that I needed to be saved from it.

Those Harry Potter novels are pretty subversive.

Better question: What would such a residence cost?
Even better question: What makes me think I could acquire such disposable funds?

Well, it's always fun to dream.

Us too…
It may have been an option at the time, but generally they were configured for additional storage.

Boring ol' storage...

All right children, settle down…
You’d think that by 5th grade y’all would’ve gotten this foolishness out of your systems.

Now how long have you been reading these TR's?

We’re talking about one of these…
268603335e0a3d60f70f8ca6d128eb49.jpg

Right. Sure.

The conscience is strong…
The bank account is just a mite stronger.

And employer restrictions are a serious pain in the…

But there are cheese steaks up here.
 
Seriously, though, I love talking trip planning. Even just throwing ideas at the wall. Feel free to throw out ideas here or PM me or whatever.
He'd best send you a PM...
If he starts up that kind of conversation here, then I'd be compelled to start throwing stuff out there.
And as you're well aware, no good will come of that.


Extremely hard. But not impossible.
They generally answer to a "higher power"
but there are the odd (and strong) exceptions.


Ehh...
He was just trying to get the girl.


good thing that didn't work out.


Those Harry Potter novels are pretty subversive.
That was my conclusion with the one that got banned.
So I read the next six just to be certain.


Boring ol' storage...
Yes, boring...
but useful.
It's one of the reason the vehicle was at the top of the list in the first place.


Now how long have you been reading these TR's?
Not long enough, apparently.


Right. Sure.
Thought you'd have noticed the pattern...


But there are cheese steaks up here.
And there's barbecue, and fried chicken down here...
and I still ain't got the funds. :sad2:
 
I guess I've been more of a lamb than a lion in this case.

Sometimes it's what ewe have to do.

Seriously, though, I love talking trip planning. Even just throwing ideas at the wall. Feel free to throw out ideas here or PM me or whatever.

Will do!

Precisely. There's no limit to what I can't do.

:thumbsup2

Yes, I believe the 4th grade curriculum is U.S. geography, but I'll ask her if it expands at all. It would make sense if the rest of North America was included as well.

Just let me know.

By the way, I looked up the cost to ship Unbroken up to you. UPS wanted $87. :scared1: So...I'll hold onto it in case we meet up sometime.

I'm not surprised. Shipping my prizes is easily the most expensive part of the gift.
You have no idea how happy I was to deliver @Steppesister 's personally. And I got food out of it too!

There's a lot in Germany that interests me--I'm sure it's worth the trip for someone who's never seen it, right?

Oh yes! I love Germany! Beautiful country. But on this imaginary trip, I want to see new things.

So where are you ultimately headed? Is it through Dulles? That's on the opposite side of DC from me.

I'll send you a PM.

Yeah, through Dulles. May rent a car. Not sure yet... may only see the airport depending on connection times. Still planning, but getting there.
 
So I can bug you for ideas too?
Of course!
Anyone can point you to the run-of-the-mill national parks and omnipresent world class museums.
I'll make sure you don't miss out on the true wonders like the world's largest hairball or the national cemetery for circus performers and sideshow artists.
 
Of course!
Anyone can point you to the run-of-the-mill national parks and omnipresent world class museums.
I'll make sure you don't miss out on the true wonders like the world's largest hairball or the national cemetery for circus performers and sideshow artists.

I was going to offer my expertise, however, I could never steer you to such riveting places as above, so I'll just limit myself to sights in Long Beach and So Cal.
 


Big into thrillers, then? I really like Lee Child, Harlan Coben, and Dennis Lehane. Gregg Hurwitz is good too.

I do like the thrillers. Thanks for the suggestions - time to dust off that library card!

Great answer! A million bonus points!

Yay.....what can they be redeemed for?

Now there's an interesting choice! Need the room?

I like the thought of being able to travel with my fur babies and not have to worry about hotels and the prices :scared1: - being self contained and not having too big of a vehicle.

Really? Do tell.

We are going to have Baltimore as our home base for about a week. We know we are going to NYC for 2 nights - and to the Redskins/Cowboys game 1 of the days. Other than that, nothing is set in stone - or pencil for that matter. If you have any interesting ideas, I'd love to hear them. I'd enjoy more than a 'yep' drove through there.
 
Of course!
Anyone can point you to the run-of-the-mill national parks and omnipresent world class museums.
I'll make sure you don't miss out on the true wonders like the world's largest hairball or the national cemetery for circus performers and sideshow artists.

Woot! My kinda places.
Throw in some sketchy dives to dine at and I'm good to go.

I was going to offer my expertise, however, I could never steer you to such riveting places as above, so I'll just limit myself to sights in Long Beach and So Cal.

Well, you know that's happening in the spring, so..... yes... I'll be bugging you too.
 
Welcome back! Sorry I missed you in the Carolinas. Did you see me wave?

You know, I wondered why in the middle of the work day I had an overwhelming sudden urge to wave. Now I know!

Ah, My Cousin Vinny. That movie just kills me every time.

My family lives off of movie quotes, and this is one of our staples. So many great lines to choose from.

Out of all of those books, I've ready one Harry Potter book. I guess I should start googling.

Ella Enchanted is a YA novel that's a different twist on Cinderella. Nora Roberts is a romance novelist, so I will not hold it against you if you skip those. Realityland is a FASCINATING book all about Walt Disney World, from the start and how they bought the land through the construction process all the way through the present. One of my favorite anecdotes from it is how the workers, coming from Disneyland, would hide Coors in the containers shipping ride parts so they could have it in Florida. Five Point Play is the story of the 2001 Duke men's basketball team and their journey to become NCAA champs, written by Coach K.

Good choice!

I did a project on Argentina my junior year in high school and I've been obsessed with going ever since.

Really? Whereabouts in MD?

So...Boonsboro. My mom and I are both big fans of Nora Roberts, and while my favorite series is the Bride Quartet, hers is the Inn Boonsboro trilogy. And there actually is a real Inn Boonsboro that you can stay at and they've recreated places from the books. So we're entertaining a girls' weekend.

Besides that, my choir director and her family just moved to DC, so at some point Joe and I will probably go visit them.

Well, thank you! You might not feel that way if you couldn't see the photos.

Ehhh......you're a decent enough writer. I might stay interested even without photos.

You rarely get treated as well anywhere else.

This is true. We have several theme parks that are easily a day trip, but I'm just spoiled. I do enjoy Busch Gardens Williamsburg, though I'm still waiting for everyone to start posting wait times.
 
Fun! There may be a mini bonus TR on it some day....

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He'd best send you a PM...
If he starts up that kind of conversation here, then I'd be compelled to start throwing stuff out there.
And as you're well aware, no good will come of that.

I beg to differ.

They generally answer to a "higher power"
but there are the odd (and strong) exceptions.

I've worked for good bosses and bad bosses. It helped me to figure out how I wanted to work if I ever got a position like that.

Ehh...
He was just trying to get the girl.


good thing that didn't work out.

Yes. That would have been extremely uncomfortable.

That was my conclusion with the one that got banned.
So I read the next six just to be certain.

Good thinking. Can't be too careful.

Yes, boring...
but useful.
It's one of the reason the vehicle was at the top of the list in the first place.

I tend to go for the boring practicalities myself.

Not long enough, apparently.

:rolleyes1

Thought you'd have noticed the pattern...

I was more interested in cheap jokes.

And there's barbecue, and fried chicken down here...
and I still ain't got the funds. :sad2:

Mmmm...BBQ and fried chicken...

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Sometimes it's what ewe have to do.

Ewe win!

Just let me know.

Julie says if you want to make a video for Canada, or even a certain province, she'll find a way to use it. I don't think they specifically address Canada in the curriculum this year, but she's never been shy about supplementing the material.

I'm not surprised. Shipping my prizes is easily the most expensive part of the gift.
You have no idea how happy I was to deliver @Steppesister 's personally. And I got food out of it too!

A personal touch is always the best kind! And with food! Is this heaven?

Oh yes! I love Germany! Beautiful country. But on this imaginary trip, I want to see new things.

I totally support your imaginary notions.

Yeah, through Dulles. May rent a car. Not sure yet... may only see the airport depending on connection times. Still planning, but getting there.

Well, keep us posted! At the very least, you can try and get to the wing of the Air & Space museum at Dulles. Totally worth the time to visit.

So I can bug you for ideas too?

Of course!
Anyone can point you to the run-of-the-mill national parks and omnipresent world class museums.
I'll make sure you don't miss out on the true wonders like the world's largest hairball or the national cemetery for circus performers and sideshow artists.

You convinced me to make sure the General was on my itinerary. I would have gone for more of your suggestions if we hadn't hit the wall at the end.

I was going to offer my expertise, however, I could never steer you to such riveting places as above, so I'll just limit myself to sights in Long Beach and So Cal.

Like Slater's 50/50! :duck:

I do like the thrillers. Thanks for the suggestions - time to dust off that library card!

Happy reading!

Yay.....what can they be redeemed for?

I have awarded many Captain_Oblivious No-Prizes® over the years.

I like the thought of being able to travel with my fur babies and not have to worry about hotels and the prices :scared1: - being self contained and not having too big of a vehicle.

Gotcha.

We are going to have Baltimore as our home base for about a week. We know we are going to NYC for 2 nights - and to the Redskins/Cowboys game 1 of the days. Other than that, nothing is set in stone - or pencil for that matter. If you have any interesting ideas, I'd love to hear them. I'd enjoy more than a 'yep' drove through there.

How much have you toured the area in the past? You could easily spend 2-3 days seeing lots of great sites in Washington, D.C., for example. In Baltimore, the Aquarium is the main attraction, but the whole Inner Harbor is a nice area to wander. The Camden Yards stadium tour is a good one as well.

Woot! My kinda places.
Throw in some sketchy dives to dine at and I'm good to go.

I should have told you about the restaurant in Ohio with a full-size X-wing fighter in the parking lot.

Well, you know that's happening in the spring, so..... yes... I'll be bugging you too.

Man, you have quite the itinerary set up! That's awesome.
 
You know, I wondered why in the middle of the work day I had an overwhelming sudden urge to wave. Now I know!

You must have that mental gift. ESPN, I think they call it.

My family lives off of movie quotes, and this is one of our staples. So many great lines to choose from.

Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth? Well, perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits?

Ella Enchanted is a YA novel that's a different twist on Cinderella. Nora Roberts is a romance novelist, so I will not hold it against you if you skip those. Realityland is a FASCINATING book all about Walt Disney World, from the start and how they bought the land through the construction process all the way through the present. One of my favorite anecdotes from it is how the workers, coming from Disneyland, would hide Coors in the containers shipping ride parts so they could have it in Florida. Five Point Play is the story of the 2001 Duke men's basketball team and their journey to become NCAA champs, written by Coach K.

Realityland sounds like a fun read. I'll have to look for that. I imagine Five Point Play is better if you're a Duke fan.

I did a project on Argentina my junior year in high school and I've been obsessed with going ever since.

Inspiration can be found anywhere!

So...Boonsboro. My mom and I are both big fans of Nora Roberts, and while my favorite series is the Bride Quartet, hers is the Inn Boonsboro trilogy. And there actually is a real Inn Boonsboro that you can stay at and they've recreated places from the books. So we're entertaining a girls' weekend.

Besides that, my choir director and her family just moved to DC, so at some point Joe and I will probably go visit them.

I have to admit, I had to google Boonsboro. I had no idea where it was.

Ehhh......you're a decent enough writer. I might stay interested even without photos.

Well, that's a relief!

This is true. We have several theme parks that are easily a day trip, but I'm just spoiled. I do enjoy Busch Gardens Williamsburg, though I'm still waiting for everyone to start posting wait times.

Disney does tend to spoil you for other places!
 
Bonus Chapter 3: Easter in the Middle of Nowhere


I have to confess, we hadn’t originally wanted to spend a full day and a second night in Fort Davis. We had originally hoped to spend three nights at a resort near Big Bend National Park, which I’ll talk about in more detail later in the TR. However, the resort was booked up due to the holiday weekend, so we ended up having to spend a day in Fort Davis to basically stall until we could move on. Our parents had stayed here before and knew the area, and they convinced us that there would be enough to see and do that we would be fine spending the day there.


Our home in Fort Davis was the Indian Lodge in Fort Davis State Park, a historic pueblo-style lodge built in the 1930’s by the Civilian Conservation Corps. It was renovated and expanded in 1967. It’s the white building nestled into the Davis Mountains in the right-center of this photo.


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It was fairly basic, as state park accommodations generally are, but was a nice place to stay and offered much nicer views than your average roadside motel.


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We were in the two rooms to the right of the swimming pool. As always, the boys begged to be allowed to swim in the hotel pool, since hotel pools have magical properties that draw young boys to them like internet comments sections draw people who should never be allowed near a computer. It didn’t matter that the temperatures were going down into the low 60’s in the evenings—that was when the boys wanted to swim. Fearing hypothermia, we were the bad guys and said no.


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The hotel also had a nice little game room. You could borrow board games and take them back to your room, or just hang out there, hoping the dodgy wi-fi would hold on long enough for you to send an email.


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Both mornings we were there, we were visited by hummingbirds feasting on the blooms near our room.


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We awoke early on Sunday. It was Easter Sunday, and flyers around town (and my parents) had informed us that every year, an Easter sunrise service was held on the grounds of the historic fort in town. It was held as a joint service by several of the churches in town. Unfortunately, none of the flyers informed us when the service was actually supposed to start. But, using our formidable deductive-reasoning skills, we figured it most likely started at sunrise.


Naturally, a dusty and rarely-used portion of my brain (i.e. the deductive-reasoning part) failed to remind me that they call it a “sunrise” service because Easter celebrates the rising of the “Son” (i.e. Jesus Christ) in his final victory over death, and that the end of the service is supposed to coincide with the sunrise, heavy with symbolic meaning. So, we arrived at the fort to catch roughly the last five minutes of the service. Oops. Happy Easter, everyone!


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Well, the sunrise made for some nice light over the fort, anyway.


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The fort wasn’t officially open to visitors yet, so we killed some time by driving a few miles to a wildlife range just outside of town. We got to see some antelopes grazing there.


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After a little while, it was time to visit Fort Davis National Historic Site for real.


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Fort Davis was a frontier outpost constructed in 1854. It was built as a station for soldiers to defend a key trade route, the San Antonio-El Paso Road. Emigrants would travel this road on their way to the gold fields of California. The fort went through various periods of being occupied by both Union and Confederate soldiers during the Civil War, and remained active until 1891. It became part of the National Park Service in 1961.


First, we toured the visitor center. Drew’s favorite spot was the corner where kids could dress up as soldiers and carry around what he refers to as “a shooting gun”.


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We also watched a movie on the history of the fort, which was probably filmed in the 1980’s and was notable only for the most hilariously random cameo I’ve ever seen in any filmed production. The entire movie about this barely noteworthy fort in the middle of nowhere was narrated by former L.A. Lakers basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He even wore full western cowboy gear for his on-camera appearances and played the whole thing deadly straight. I couldn’t stop giggling trying to figure out how he had been recruited for the gig.


“Excuse me, Mr. Jabbar, could we have a moment of your time?”

“Forget it, I’m not doing any more Coke commercials.”

“But it’s not a commercial, it’s—“

“A basketball recruitment video? Something related to my talents and skills?”

“No, completely unrelated. The only reason your name came up is that I was literally dared to ask you on a bet. It’s a film—“

“Oh, I get it. Another great comedy classic, like ‘Airplane!’? Man, I loved doing that movie. It was so much fun.”

“No, this would be played completely straight. Almost monotone, like a senior thesis project.”

“What’s it about?”

“An old fort in the middle of nowhere in western Texas.”

“Hmm. What happened there?”

“Well…nothing, really. It was just kinda there until the army didn’t need it anymore.”

“This sound like the worst movie in the history of movies. Like, even worse than The English Patient. Why would anyone agree to this?”

“You can dress up like a cowboy.”

“YES! GET ME ON A PLANE!”

It was like hiring a TV chef to narrate your office Human Resources videos.

"Hi, I'm Guy Fieri, and let me tell you, your 401(k) plan is on point!"

We spent some time touring the grounds, seeing the various historic buildings where people slept and ate and got dressed and did all of the exact same things you and I do. The only difference is that these beds and tables and chairs were used by people over a hundred years ago. This makes them valuable and worth preserving, whereas the beds and tables and chairs you and I use are worthless pieces of junk and should be discarded as soon as possible. Of course, this meant my mom had to read every single sign about every single piece of furniture.


We got a photo of us all in our slightly-less-casual Easter finery.


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After an Easter feast of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, we moved on to our afternoon attraction: the McDonald Observatory. Being in the middle of nowhere, the Davis Mountains get terrifically dark night skies, so it’s a logical place to station an observatory. It’s part of the University of Texas at Austin and includes two massive telescopes—the Otto Struve Telescope, first dedicated in 1939, and the Hobby-Eberly Telescope, dedicated in 1997. This one is tied with a South African telescope as the fifth-largest in the world. Researchers from all over the world use these instruments to study the universe.


The visitor center offers a small museum and tours of the observatory. The tour even offers a chance to use a solar telescope to observe the sun (no glasses required). We wandered through the museum for a bit until it was time for our tour. My parents left to take Drew back to the hotel for a nap, assuring us that we would have a great time with the tour instead.


Shortly afterwards, the clouds began to roll in.


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We moved into the auditorium to start the tour. Our guide arrived and greeted us. He introduced himself as Nerdy McDronerson, Ph. D., one of the scientists stationed at the observatory. And he was very sorry, but it was too cloudy for us to be able to observe the sun today. But that was ok, because he could tell us anything we wanted to know about the sun. And for the next hour or so, he did.


We all sat and fidgeted in our seats as Dr. McDronerson delivered a masterful doctoral dissertation on the sun, explaining the intricacies of quasi-periodic vertical oscillatory motion and detection while observing the macroscopic line-of-sight velocity and taking into account the chromosphere through their correlation coefficients and temperature fluctuations of solar flares sending propagating waves affecting the flux capacitor’s readings of isolated Pythagorean Theorem calculations that average out through molecular deconstruction of soylent green particles as explained by Newton’s Law and the appearance of both Khyber and dilithium crystals, notwithstanding the azimuth of the arc reactor producing massive sums of dihydrogen monoxide in the trigonometric solar reticle of my left butt cheek.


Look, I have no idea what he said. All I know is, I’m an engineer. Science and technology are my thing. And at some point, my brain switched over to the channel where I score the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, much like the dad in Inside Out.


It took a full hour and a half before we finally made it up the mountain to the older telescope. The tour got a bit more interesting here. Dr. McDronerson (can I call him Nerdy?) was still going on about something or other, but in the meantime he handed my kids the controls to multi-million dollar pieces of research equipment.


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I still have no idea what he said, but at least now we could watch my kids pushing buttons and spinning the telescopes, opening the huge sliding doors to the sky, or spinning the roof around. So that was fun.


We somehow managed to escape without destroying anything, and moved on to the Hobby-Eberly Telescope building. This telescope is much newer, larger, more expensive, and can see much farther into space. They didn’t let us touch anything in there.


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By the time we staggered out of that building, we checked our watches and realized that it had been a full three hour tour. A three hour tour. And we were hungry.


We met up with my parents at the hotel, where they were shocked to learn that fighting with Drew to take a nap was actually the better end of the bargain. Then we drove into town, where once again we could only find one restaurant that was open. This time, it was the Fort Davis Drug Store & Hotel, which boasted small diner and soda fountain right in the middle of their store. The menu basically consisted of burgers and fries and ice cream, but fortunately, that sounded like it would hit the spot.


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The owners of this place clearly had a sense of humor, which as you know always bumps a joint up a couple of letter grades in my book. We were about to find out how much of a sense of humor they had.


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We used our standard cost-saving trick of ordering water for everyone to drink (with a family of 6, this generally saves us $18 at every sit-down meal). Now, I need to explain something here. Julie is weird quirky. You know how most of us (read: all human beings) like a nice, cold, refreshing drink? Especially on a hot summer day? Well, Julie doesn’t like that. She prefers her cool refreshing beverages to be warm, not-refreshing-at-all beverages. Room temperature, minimum. I can’t count the number of days when I’ve come inside the house sweating like crazy after mowing the lawn in summer heat, grabbed her water bottle and taken a long pull, only to gag in surprise after realizing I’ve just taken a big swig of bath water.


So, when Julie orders a glass of water, she always makes sure to specify: water, NO ICE. Ice is her kryptonite. Her mortal enemy. The Moriarty to her Sherlock Holmes. She has often tried to lobby our local representative to introduce legislation to ban ice from the United States. Our local representative has changed his phone number three times.


Well, on this particular Easter Sunday, as we ordered our greasy burgers and fries for a traditional fancy Easter dinner, Julie ordered her standard water, NO ICE. And it just so happened that the guy behind the counter was especially quick-witted, and got a huge kick out of this. So he started giving Julie a hard time.


“No ice? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before.”

“I don’t like ice,” Julie started to explain.

“Does the presence of ice somehow offend your sensibilities? Or are you unable to comprehend the sight of one material taking on two forms of matter in the same glass? What would happen if the ice were to somehow sublimate directly into a gas at the same time? Would that alter the shape of the universe as we know it?”


This guy was giving my wife crap and used “sublimate” in a sentence. I loved him.


In the end, Julie got her bath water, we got our food, and everything was right with the world once again.

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We drove to the top of the mountain and tried to watch the sun set, but unfortunately it was kind of a bust that evening. Clouds obscured the view. But we got a photo of all of the kids looking like they enjoy each other’s company, so that was a win.


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Coming Up Next: A National Park bigger than the state of Rhode Island that somehow remains one of the best-kept secrets of the National Park system.
 
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I have awarded many Captain_Oblivious No-Prizes® over the years.

:sad:

How much have you toured the area in the past?

I have never been. DH grew up in Virginia - so trying to balance seeing the big stuff but not spending too much time viewing what he has already seen. I think it would be fun to tour on a Segway - not sure if that will happen or not. We are likely staying near the Inner Harbor. Thanks for the suggestions - anything in Delaware that is a 'not to be missed' or good hiking trails near the border?

Fearing hypothermia, we were the bad guys and said no.

And here you had the chance to be the 'cool' parents under the cover of 'ok, just because we are on vacation'. I don't know about you - but when I was younger, I didn't care how cold the water was....I always wanted to jump in. Of course I would whine when it was time to get out as it would be too cold.

I couldn’t stop giggling trying to figure out how he had been recruited for the gig.

I have to agree - not the first name that comes to mind.

We got a photo of us all in our slightly-less-casual Easter finery.

Nice family photo!

And at some point, my brain switched over to the channel where I score the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, much like the dad in Inside Out.

Hey now, pay attention - you chose to attend. Nerdy was just very passionate about the subject matter.


I will take all of her ice. I have to have ice - it was tough in some spots in Europe - I'd ask for ice and only get 2 cubes.
 
Julie says if you want to make a video for Canada, or even a certain province, she'll find a way to use it. I don't think they specifically address Canada in the curriculum this year, but she's never been shy about supplementing the material.

I think a PM is in order...

A personal touch is always the best kind! And with food! Is this heaven?

Yes it was.

I totally support your imaginary notions.

I imagine you would.

Well, keep us posted! At the very least, you can try and get to the wing of the Air & Space museum at Dulles. Totally worth the time to visit.

The Air & Space has been on my bucket list before I knew about bucket lists.

I should have told you about the restaurant in Ohio with a full-size X-wing fighter in the parking lot.

<jaw drops>
YES YOU SHOULD HAVE!!!!

Man, you have quite the itinerary set up! That's awesome.

Gotta keep moving or entropy sets in.
 
However, the resort was booked up due to the holiday weekend

Poor planning dude.

I'm sooooo disappointed in you.



Of course you're used to that.

so we ended up having to spend a day in Fort Davis to basically stall until we could move on

High praise!

Our home in Fort Davis was the Indian Lodge in Fort Davis State Park,

Just how run down was it that they have to close it for four months to fix it up?


I don't care how bad he was! Don't toss him in the well!!!!!


Sorry. Still traumatized by Baby Jessica

We were in the two rooms to the right of the swimming pool.

Nice!

As always, the boys begged to be allowed to swim

Of course! That's a truism.
I remember my first road trip when I was 8 or so.
The only thing I wanted to know was if the place we were staying had a pool.

since hotel pools have magical properties that draw young boys to them like internet comments sections draw people who should never be allowed near a computer.

Hey!

Fearing hypothermia, we were the bad guys and said no.

You what????

You'd never survive up here.
"Can we go swimming?"
"Well let's see... hmm... there's a hole in the ice... so... sure!"

The hotel also had a nice little game room. You could borrow board games and take them back to your room

Sweet. Did you?

hoping the dodgy wi-fi would hold on long enough for you to send an email.

Oh. They should close the place down for four months and fix that.


Love those supporting pillars.

Both mornings we were there, we were visited by hummingbirds feasting on the blooms near our room.

Nice! I've only seen one... once.

that every year, an Easter sunrise service was held on the grounds of the historic fort in town.

Sounds really nice.

But, using our formidable deductive-reasoning skills, we figured it most likely started at sunrise.

Sure. Makes sense.... until you read on...

So, we arrived at the fort to catch roughly the last five minutes of the service. Oops. Happy Easter, everyone!

Whoops!
Did everyone turn to stare at you?
Did anyone mutter "Dang tourists. No respect atall."

Well, the sunrise made for some nice light over the fort, anyway.

Photographers refer to that as "the golden hour".

We got to see some antelopes grazing there.

You found the home on the range!!!!!

After a little while, it was time to visit Fort Davis National Historic Site for real.

As opposed to the unreal. Good for you!

Drew’s favorite spot was the corner where kids could dress up as soldiers and carry around what he refers to as “a shooting gun”.

Thank goodness.
A small patch of the planet not marred by the ever present PC crowd.

We also watched a movie on the history of the fort, which was probably filmed in the 1980’s and was notable only for the most hilariously random cameo I’ve ever seen in any filmed production. The entire movie about this barely noteworthy fort in the middle of nowhere was narrated by former L.A. Lakers basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He even wore full western cowboy gear for his on-camera appearances and played the whole thing deadly straight. I couldn’t stop giggling trying to figure out how he had been recruited for the gig.

:laughing:
How totally random is that?!?!?

“Excuse me, Mr. Jabbar, could we have a moment of your time?”

“Forget it, I’m not doing any more Coke commercials.”

“But it’s not a commercial, it’s—“

“A basketball recruitment video? Something related to my talents and skills?”

“No, completely unrelated. The only reason your name came up is that I was literally dared to ask you on a bet. It’s a film—“

“Oh, I get it. Another great comedy classic, like ‘Airplane!’? Man, I loved doing that movie. It was so much fun.”

“No, this would be played completely straight. Almost monotone, like a senior thesis project.”

“What’s it about?”

“An old fort in the middle of nowhere in western Texas.”

“Hmm. What happened there?”

“Well…nothing, really. It was just kinda there until the army didn’t need it anymore.”

“This sound like the worst movie in the history of movies. Like, even worse than The English Patient. Why would anyone agree to this?”

“You can dress up like a cowboy.”

“YES! GET ME ON A PLANE!”

:laughing: I'm sure it was just like that. I doubt they could offer him vast sums of cash for the role.

It was like hiring a TV chef to narrate your office Human Resources videos.

"Hi, I'm Guy Fieri, and let me tell you, your 401(k) plan is on point!"

:lmao:
Dude! Warn a guy when you're going to do that!

This makes them valuable and worth preserving, whereas the beds and tables and chairs you and I use are worthless pieces of junk and should be discarded as soon as possible.

Crap. But we just got ours!!!


Shoot.

Of course, this meant my mom had to read every single sign about every single piece of furniture.

:rolleyes:

We got a photo of us all in our slightly-less-casual Easter finery.

Nice shot! :)

Being in the middle of nowhere, the Davis Mountains get terrifically dark night skies, so it’s a logical place to station an observatory.

Makes sense.
They should put a mall there... with lots of parking... and of course you'll need lots of light for safety.

the Hobby-Eberly Telescope, dedicated in 1997. This one is tied with a South African telescope as the fifth-largest in the world.

Huh!

Shortly afterwards, the clouds began to roll in.

:headache:

But that was ok, because he could tell us anything we wanted to know about the sun. And for the next hour or so, he did.

Oh, Lord.... Time to leave.

We all sat and fidgeted in our seats as Dr. McDronerson delivered a masterful doctoral dissertation on the sun

Wonderful! Who doesn't like hearing an expert in his field?

Would you have rather you were there and he was out in the field? With the antelope?

explaining the intricacies of quasi-periodic vertical oscillatory motion and detection while observing the macroscopic line-of-sight velocity and taking into account the chromosphere through their corre

....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

and the appearance of both Khyber and dilithium crystals

She canna take any more captain!

And at some point, my brain switched over to the channel where I score the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, much like the dad in Inside Out.

It does that a lot, doesn't it.

(Not a question.)

Dr. McDronerson (can I call him Nerdy?)

Sure!

I still have no idea what he said, but at least now we could watch my kids pushing buttons and spinning the telescopes, opening the huge sliding doors to the sky, or spinning the roof around. So that was fun.

Definitely worth the wait!



ahem

We somehow managed to escape without destroying anything,

Should've kept Drew with you.

By the time we staggered out of that building, we checked our watches and realized that it had been a full three hour tour. A three hour tour.

And the weather got rough too!

We met up with my parents at the hotel, where they were shocked to learn that fighting with Drew to take a nap was actually the better end of the bargain.

:laughing:

The menu basically consisted of burgers and fries and ice cream, but fortunately, that sounded like it would hit the spot.

It frequently sounds that way.

The owners of this place clearly had a sense of humor, which as you know always bumps a joint up a couple of letter grades in my book

::yes::

We used our standard cost-saving trick of ordering water for everyone to drink (with a family of 6, this generally saves us $18 at every sit-down meal).

Understandable.
Except I don't like water. With or without ice.
Gotta have sugar in it.

Julie is weird quirky

:duck:

Well, Julie doesn’t like that. She prefers her cool refreshing beverages to be warm, not-refreshing-at-all beverages.

My dad is like that... only worse. He's worked construction all his life.
"Break time!"
"Let's see... I've been working like crazy out in the 90 degree sun.... time for some hot coffee!"

He swears it cools him down.

I can’t count the number of days when I’ve come inside the house sweating like crazy after mowing the lawn in summer heat, grabbed her water bottle and taken a long pull, only to gag in surprise after realizing I’ve just taken a big swig of bath water.

Yuck. Nope!

But... you can't count the number of days?

Dude. I'm thinking even Drew would stop doing that after a time or two.

She has often tried to lobby our local representative to introduce legislation to ban ice from the United States. Our local representative has changed his phone number three times.

:laughing:

This guy was giving my wife crap and used “sublimate” in a sentence. I loved him.

::yes::


That is not water in front of Drew.

Lies!
This report is built on lies!!


Really nice shot of the chilluns.

Coming Up Next: A National Park bigger than the state of Rhode Island that somehow remains one of the best-kept secrets of the National Park system.

Looking forward to it!
 
We were in the two rooms to the right of the swimming pool. As always, the boys begged to be allowed to swim in the hotel pool, since hotel pools have magical properties that draw young boys to them like internet comments sections draw people who should never be allowed near a computer.
Kind of like the TPA&S section? :rolleyes1

It was held as a joint service by several of the churches in town. Unfortunately, none of the flyers informed us when the service was actually supposed to start. But, using our formidable deductive-reasoning skills, we figured it most likely started at sunrise.
U is smrt.

So, we arrived at the fort to catch roughly the last five minutes of the service. Oops. Happy Easter, everyone!
It's the thought that counts.

Drew’s favorite spot was the corner where kids could dress up as soldiers and carry around what he refers to as “a shooting gun”.
Don't deny it... it was your favorite too.

“This sound like the worst movie in the history of movies. Like, even worse than The English Patient. Why would anyone agree to this?”

“You can dress up like a cowboy.”

“YES! GET ME ON A PLANE!”
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:
Well now I almost feel like I need to see that trainwreck. It surely must be on youtube somewhere.

We all sat and fidgeted in our seats as Dr. McDronerson delivered a masterful doctoral dissertation on the sun, explaining the intricacies of quasi-periodic vertical oscillatory motion and detection while observing the macroscopic line-of-sight velocity and taking into account the chromosphere through their correlation coefficients and temperature fluctuations of solar flares sending propagating waves affecting the flux capacitor’s readings of isolated Pythagorean Theorem calculations that average out through molecular deconstruction of soylent green particles as explained by Newton’s Law and the appearance of both Khyber and dilithium crystals, notwithstanding the azimuth of the arc reactor producing massive sums of dihydrogen monoxide in the trigonometric solar reticle of my left butt cheek.
giphy.gif


Look, I have no idea what he said. All I know is, I’m an engineer. Science and technology are my thing. And at some point, my brain switched over to the channel where I score the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, much like the dad in Inside Out.
:eek: :faint: He was even too nerdy for you? No way!

It took a full hour and a half before we finally made it up the mountain to the older telescope. The tour got a bit more interesting here. Dr. McDronerson (can I call him Nerdy?) was still going on about something or other, but in the meantime he handed my kids the controls to multi-million dollar pieces of research equipment.
And then Scotty happened???

We somehow managed to escape without destroying anything
Well that's anti climactic.

I can’t count the number of days when I’ve come inside the house sweating like crazy after mowing the lawn in summer heat, grabbed her water bottle and taken a long pull, only to gag in surprise after realizing I’ve just taken a big swig of bath water.
This has happened more than once? And you haven't learned yet? :sad2:

“No ice? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before.”

“I don’t like ice,” Julie started to explain.

“Does the presence of ice somehow offend your sensibilities? Or are you unable to comprehend the sight of one material taking on two forms of matter in the same glass? What would happen if the ice were to somehow sublimate directly into a gas at the same time? Would that alter the shape of the universe as we know it?”


This guy was giving my wife crap and used “sublimate” in a sentence. I loved him.
:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao: I'm going to go on a limb and guess that this guy got the biggest tip you've ever left.
 
since hotel pools have magical properties that draw young boys to them like internet comments sections draw people who should never be allowed near a computer.

:rotfl2:But, hey they provide endless hours of entertainment reading them. The level of duh never ceases to amaze me.


Nice Golden Hour shot!

was narrated by former L.A. Lakers basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He even wore full western cowboy gear for his on-camera appearances and played the whole thing deadly straight.

The time-wasting side that needs a shot of side-splitting laughter is half tempted to google this.

This makes them valuable and worth preserving, whereas the beds and tables and chairs you and I use are worthless pieces of junk and should be discarded as soon as possible. Of course, this meant my mom had to read every single sign about every single piece of furniture.

:lmao:

After an Easter feast of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches,

WHAT?! Not PB&Peeps? Where is the Easter in you?

He introduced himself as Nerdy McDronerson, Ph. D

:rotfl2::rotfl::lmao:

We all sat and fidgeted in our seats as Dr. McDronerson delivered a masterful doctoral dissertation on the sun, explaining the intricacies of quasi-periodic vertical oscillatory motion and detection while observing the macroscopic line-of-sight velocity and taking into account the chromosphere through their correlation coefficients and temperature fluctuations of solar flares sending propagating waves affecting the flux capacitor’s readings of isolated Pythagorean Theorem calculations that average out through molecular deconstruction of soylent green particles as explained by Newton’s Law and the appearance of both Khyber and dilithium crystals, notwithstanding the azimuth of the arc reactor producing massive sums of dihydrogen monoxide in the trigonometric solar reticle of my left butt cheek.

That should win a Pulitzer.

I still have no idea what he said, but at least now we could watch my kids pushing buttons and spinning the telescopes, opening the huge sliding doors to the sky, or spinning the roof around. So that was fun.

So you kept the hidden talent of running tractors off into ditches on the lowdown. Good move.

The menu basically consisted of burgers and fries and ice cream, but fortunately, that sounded like it would hit the spot.

Ummm.... not to be a pain in your pattootie, I spy with my little eye a salad bar in that there establishment! ;) Or was that conveniently overlooked?

This guy was giving my wife crap and used “sublimate” in a sentence. I loved him.

So the real question is: Can crap sublimate?

My dad is like that... only worse. He's worked construction all his life.
"Break time!"
"Let's see... I've been working like crazy out in the 90 degree sun.... time for some hot coffee!"

He swears it cools him down.

Kazahs swear to this method. They drink hot tea when it's 45 out saying it makes them sweat and therefore... :rolleyes2
 
It didn’t matter that the temperatures were going down into the low 60’s in the evenings—that was when the boys wanted to swim. Fearing hypothermia, we were the bad guys and said no.

The pool was heated, no? I swim in those circumstances. :confused3

Both mornings we were there, we were visited by hummingbirds feasting on the blooms near our room.

Nice. Do you have them in Delaware?

So, we arrived at the fort to catch roughly the last five minutes of the service. Oops. Happy Easter, everyone!

Doh! Oops.

First, we toured the visitor center. Drew’s favorite spot was the corner where kids could dress up as soldiers and carry around what he refers to as “a shooting gun”.

Of course it was!

The entire movie about this barely noteworthy fort in the middle of nowhere was narrated by former L.A. Lakers basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

That sounds rather random.

"Hi, I'm Guy Fieri, and let me tell you, your 401(k) plan is on point!"

:laughing:

he could tell us anything we wanted to know about the sun. And for the next hour or so, he did.

Being stationed at such a remote fort, he probably reveled in human contact and a captive audience.

Look, I have no idea what he said. All I know is, I’m an engineer. Science and technology are my thing. And at some point, my brain switched over to the channel where I score the game-winning goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, much like the dad in Inside Out.

:rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl2:

I'm sure my eyes would have glazed over. I can only handle so much technical mumbo jumbo.

By the time we staggered out of that building, we checked our watches and realized that it had been a full three hour tour. A three hour tour. And we were hungry.

I can understand that. PB&J can only be so filling.

The menu basically consisted of burgers and fries and ice cream, but fortunately, that sounded like it would hit the spot.

I dunno, I'm with Liesa that I soy the soup and salad bar. I can't read the menu on my phone, but I did see a grilled chicken sandwich, and a ton of sides (which I can't make out).

Now, I need to explain something here. Julie is weird quirky. You know how most of us (read: all human beings) like a nice, cold, refreshing drink? Especially on a hot summer day? Well, Julie doesn’t like that. She prefers her cool refreshing beverages to be warm, not-refreshing-at-all beverages. Room temperature, minimum.

She is weird! I need my water ice cold, there should be more ice than water, keep filling it up as the water is gone and there is only ice left.

I can’t count the number of days when I’ve come inside the house sweating like crazy after mowing the lawn in summer heat, grabbed her water bottle and taken a long pull, only to gag in surprise after realizing I’ve just taken a big swig of bath water.

Now this made me gag. I put bath salts in my bath water and it usually has a green or purple tinge to it (depending on the scent that I choose lavender or eucalyptus) so the image of drinking this was like :crazy2:
 

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