A father's day gift WWYD?

[TinkerbEllnor]

So I got DH a rather expensive Christmas gift this past winter.

He lost it.

He wants another one.

Would you buy the same gift again?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Depends, how much, what was it and what did he get you for Mother's Day?

 

[freckles and boo]

What were the circumstances? Would buying a new one be a poor use of the money? Is it just a toy or something with sentimental value?

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

It was an Ipod Touch. So no sentimental value, just for fun. He left it behind in a hotel room last month while traveling for work. The housekeeper didn't turn it in.

For Mother's Day, I got a Roomba and a paper shredder

I am smarting a little that he lost $300 worth of a toy, but I know he feels bad about it. I think he thinks that he would be making it right by sacrificing another gift to replace the one he lost, so he has been hinting around for it.

 

[happygirl]

I wouldn't get him another one.

 

[freckles and boo]

For Mother's Day, I got a Roomba and a paper shredder

Oh heck NO! He would be getting a leaf blower and a pencil sharpener.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

A Roomba and a paper shredder? Hmmmm....well I hate to vote no now.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Oh heck NO! He would be getting a leaf blower and a pencil sharpener.

I like the way you think! Though if I were to punish his gift giving ability I should have started WAY before now

 

[Hercules10]

Gift giving is what you want to do. Not a tit-for-tat. My wife liked jewelry and had expensive tastes. I liked getting her what she liked because I liked the look on her face when she got it. Not for what I'd expect in return.

If you wanna get him one then get him one....

 

[Evil Genius]

I would get him a cheaper Ipod and see how he does. Then maybe upgrade at another gift giving time

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Gift giving is what you want to do. Not a tit-for-tat. My wife liked jewelry and had expensive tastes. I liked getting her what she liked because I liked the look on her face when she got it. Not for what I'd expect in return.

If you wanna get him one then get him one....

I only explained what he gave me because I was asked. I don't care what he gets me. He loves me, and that's enough for me.

If your wife lost one of those jewelry gifts, would you get her the same one again as a gift to replace it? Or would you get her a different gift to commemorate the day? Would getting the same thing as a gift just draw attention to the fact that the first was lost and make her feel guilty? How about if you knew she liked it enough to probably replace it herself in the near future if not given as a gift?

If he wants it, I want to give it to him. But I don't want to make him feel bad in the process.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I only explained what he gave me because I was asked. I don't care what he gets me. He loves me, and that's enough for me.

If your wife lost one of those jewelry gifts, would you get her the same one again as a gift to replace it? Or would you get her a different gift to commemorate the day? Would getting the same thing as a gift just draw attention to the fact that the first was lost and make her feel guilty? How about if you knew she liked it enough to probably replace it herself in the near future if not given as a gift?

If he wants it, I want to give it to him. But I don't want to make him feel bad in the process.

I gotcha.

Even if he feels bad or guilty it will wear off when he is listening to his new Ipod.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Yes, I'd buy him the iPod.

Then I'd tell him next year for Mother's Day you'll have the _____. (Insert what you'd really like for Mother's day.)

Unless you wanted the Roomba? Maybe you did and I'm way off base.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[wall*e2008]

Would you normally spend $300 on Father's Day? If so then buy the IPOD touch.

 

[MrsToad]

We are all only human. I once lost a ring that came from DH's family - he did not get mad at me and still enjoys giving me jewelry all these years later. If your DH feels bad and would like another one, I would say "stuff happens" and buy it for him. Even if he is thinking that he is "making it better" by sacrificing another holiday's gift to replace the lost one, I wonder if it wouldn't also go a long way towards him feeling forgiven if you give him another one, rather than him purchasing one for himself sometime down the road. I hope I am making sense - I sometimes have a difficult time translating my thoughts into words!

 

[mtemm]

yep, I'd get him one. we all make mistakes.

 

[FayeW]

On another note, if you paid with for the IPOD with a credit card it may be covered under their "insurance" and you might be able to replace it for free!

 

[MoniqueU]

As the mom of a little girl that can't find hers in her room and an adult that has left something behind that cost a lot and had sentimental value to me in a hotel toom I MIGHT look at a refurbished one. I have an ipod that I use on car trips to relax and at the dentist and stressful places. MY DD could care less that she lost hers I only found out she lost it when I asked her if I could have it. So I am kind of in between on this one.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

I would not get him another one any more than I've give one of my kids another one after they were irresponsible like that.... hint or no hint.

I'd be lying if I said that emotion was not present. But I'm trying really hard to squelch it, and not have that be the reason if I decide to not get it for him. Because, after all, even though it can feel that way sometimes, I am not his mother.

Would you normally spend $300 on Father's Day? If so then buy the IPOD touch.

Not normally, no. Once in the past 5 years, did it go over that amount, and that one was 'practical'. However, we don't have 'yours-mine-ours' money, it's all 'ours', and although I wouldn't just throw away $300, it won't break the bank- so if he decides to buy it for himself, getting him a different gift would ultimately cost the household more money, if that makes sense.

We are all only human. I once lost a ring that came from DH's family - he did not get mad at me and still enjoys giving me jewelry all these years later. If your DH feels bad and would like another one, I would say "stuff happens" and buy it for him. Even if he is thinking that he is "making it better" by sacrificing another holiday's gift to replace the lost one, I wonder if it wouldn't also go a long way towards him feeling forgiven if you give him another one, rather than him purchasing one for himself sometime down the road. I hope I am making sense - I sometimes have a difficult time translating my thoughts into words!

Very good point. Thank you. I'm now leaning off one side of the fence...

As the mom of a little girl that can't find hers in her room and an adult that has left something behind that cost a lot and had sentimental value to me in a hotel toom I MIGHT look at a refurbished one. I have an ipod that I use on car trips to relax and at the dentist and stressful places. MY DD could care less that she lost hers I only found out she lost it when I asked her if I could have it. So I am kind of in between on this one.

lol, that's how I knew he wanted another one. I caught him browsing refurbs on the computer. I have never bought anything refurbished (well, except by default- see the Roomba mentioned upthread-which had to be replaced the first week, because it didn't work right out of the box) I'm a little hesitant to go that route.

Thanks everyone for your input. It's really helped!