I am an administrator for 2 group homes serving teenagers and young adults with Autism. We recently had a new admission, a young man with Aspergers Syndrome who is 14 years old. He is very verbal and a bit higher functioning than most of our other residents. He has many many challenging behaviors and he is simply not able to live at home, regardless of how much his parents want him there. He loves rap music, robots, the Smokie Mountains, and reading his bible. He is a fascinating young man.
He came to us on 12/26/06....not necessarily the best day for him to be leaving home to come to a new residence. He is currently not enrolled in school. Due to his functioning level the 2 jr. high programs are trying to decide where he fits best. He is trying his hardest to get used to things at our little group home. He has been giving our staff a real run for their money. He has been swearing, aggressive, non-compliant with requests, teasing other residents and in general not a happy camper.
Tonite I spent several hours in the house, just being around. Today was my first day back from vacation. My last day was the day he was admitted. He started acting up and I went into gear. I kept him focused and was TOTALLY non reactive when he began to get verbally abusive. At one point it was so loud I turned my attention from him to another resident and that did not go well. The other resident and I began to do some sit-ups, which was what was next on her schedule. He began to make fun of her. I told him to "talk his talk"...if he could do them better he needed to show me! He marched himself over, plopped himself on the mat and began doing some of the best sit-ups I have ever seen. He even let me hold his feet, and he does not like to be touched. That seemed to turn his mood around and after about 3 hours of constant positive reinforcement he was able to tell me that I was strict, but that I knew how to smile. Needless to say, that made me smile even bigger. Later in the evening he helped me go out and get pizza for everybody and even loaded the dishwasher.
As we were talking later he mentioned that he would prefer that I use his nickname. Then he shyly told me I could call him another nickname that only a few people use. I told him how special that was and that I would be proud to use his special nickname.
Through the course of the evening we established a few rules about the volume of his music, when staff could be in his bedroom, what time bed time needed to be and lots of other things. He was able to express himself very well, and on 2 occasions let me know that he thought that a proposed rule needed to be changed. On both occasions he had a valid point and some compromise was in order. He seemed pleased to know that he had "won" if you will.
Underneath the aggressive and angry exterior is this smart, funny and generally caring young man who really responded to being told that he was "helpful". He needed to be listened to, something that some of our direct care staff have been unable to do this first week.
I left work exhausted tonite after a 14.5 hour work day, that was almost constant work with him and typing up what we had accomplished into things he could use. As tired as I was, it was a hugely satisfying day. I know that things might go sour again in the morning, but for tonite it was good.
I love my career, which is so much more than a career....I felt tonite that this is what I was meant to do. There have been so many times when I wanted to pack it all in....that it is just too hard and I have been at it for too long....over 25 years. Then I get a night like tonite and it all makes it worthwhile. When you give so much and it comes back to you almost immediately in such a rewarding way, I can't help but feel that it is a little pat on the back from God.
I drove home in tears, so thankful for the gifts I had received from our new resident. He has already gotten himself under my skin in a very special way. I just can't wait to see what the next weeks, months and years bring from this young man. I can't wait to see what I learn from him. I can't wait to watch him grow....
Thanks for letting me share.
Linda
He came to us on 12/26/06....not necessarily the best day for him to be leaving home to come to a new residence. He is currently not enrolled in school. Due to his functioning level the 2 jr. high programs are trying to decide where he fits best. He is trying his hardest to get used to things at our little group home. He has been giving our staff a real run for their money. He has been swearing, aggressive, non-compliant with requests, teasing other residents and in general not a happy camper.
Tonite I spent several hours in the house, just being around. Today was my first day back from vacation. My last day was the day he was admitted. He started acting up and I went into gear. I kept him focused and was TOTALLY non reactive when he began to get verbally abusive. At one point it was so loud I turned my attention from him to another resident and that did not go well. The other resident and I began to do some sit-ups, which was what was next on her schedule. He began to make fun of her. I told him to "talk his talk"...if he could do them better he needed to show me! He marched himself over, plopped himself on the mat and began doing some of the best sit-ups I have ever seen. He even let me hold his feet, and he does not like to be touched. That seemed to turn his mood around and after about 3 hours of constant positive reinforcement he was able to tell me that I was strict, but that I knew how to smile. Needless to say, that made me smile even bigger. Later in the evening he helped me go out and get pizza for everybody and even loaded the dishwasher.
As we were talking later he mentioned that he would prefer that I use his nickname. Then he shyly told me I could call him another nickname that only a few people use. I told him how special that was and that I would be proud to use his special nickname.
Through the course of the evening we established a few rules about the volume of his music, when staff could be in his bedroom, what time bed time needed to be and lots of other things. He was able to express himself very well, and on 2 occasions let me know that he thought that a proposed rule needed to be changed. On both occasions he had a valid point and some compromise was in order. He seemed pleased to know that he had "won" if you will.
Underneath the aggressive and angry exterior is this smart, funny and generally caring young man who really responded to being told that he was "helpful". He needed to be listened to, something that some of our direct care staff have been unable to do this first week.
I left work exhausted tonite after a 14.5 hour work day, that was almost constant work with him and typing up what we had accomplished into things he could use. As tired as I was, it was a hugely satisfying day. I know that things might go sour again in the morning, but for tonite it was good.
I love my career, which is so much more than a career....I felt tonite that this is what I was meant to do. There have been so many times when I wanted to pack it all in....that it is just too hard and I have been at it for too long....over 25 years. Then I get a night like tonite and it all makes it worthwhile. When you give so much and it comes back to you almost immediately in such a rewarding way, I can't help but feel that it is a little pat on the back from God.
I drove home in tears, so thankful for the gifts I had received from our new resident. He has already gotten himself under my skin in a very special way. I just can't wait to see what the next weeks, months and years bring from this young man. I can't wait to see what I learn from him. I can't wait to watch him grow....
Thanks for letting me share.
Linda
I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with a high functioning, albeit very quirky child. My heart breaks for those with children that cannot function on their own
