4th of July dilema

[Southern4sure]

My hubby loves bar b que and he smokes his own ribs and such. We have been invited to an older couples house for the 4th along with the rest of our friends our age with kids. The menu is bring a dish and your own drinks whether it is alcohol or soda. We (4 other couples included) were told last night that the main menu has changed to chili and a 3 ft sub sandwich..... No BBQ is on the menu now. No problem really, dh would BBQ and bring as a dish and I would make BBQ beans and such.

We also were told the party has grown to 50 (kids not included) people instead of 20. Dh wants to smoke some ribs but not enough to feed 50 + people...it could be quite expensive. Now I do not know what to make to bring.

Another dilema here is that the couple doesn't want fireworks at their house...fine, I understand that. But she changed the time to 5 pm instead of noon, so to shoot fireworks we (whoever wants to shoot them and already bought them) will have to leave the party early. The house is rather small for this many people (1300 sq ft) and we have a 50% change of rain.

The last thing anyone wants to do is hurt this couple's feelings. How would you handle this?

 

[Marseeya]

What I would do is maybe change my expectation of what we'd be doing on the 4th and just enjoy the company (it sounds as if you like these people a lot!), and then do your own celebration your own way another time!

You could make some macaroni salad to bring. That would be fairly inexpensive to make and very easy to make a huge dish of it.

 

[MerryPoppins]

How about grilling hot dogs in advance, or make baked beans, or potato salad? I also love watermelon on the 4th, so you could cut one into wedges and make a pretty platter to take. I wouldn't think you'd need to make enough for 50 plus the kids. If everyone did this, you'd have WAY too much food. Just make a large bowl of whatever. That's what we do at church potlucks. We have more than 50 people and no one goes hungry.

I'd go ahead and just leave at dusk. You can explain that you promised your kids fireworks before she changed the time and I'm sure they will understand. As far as the ribs are concerned, I'd fix them on the third or something and have your own little celebration.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would also plan the ribs another time. Well, I'm vegetarian, so wouldn't plan the ribs at all , but if I were you, I would plan them another time. As to the fireworks, go for dinner, visit for awhile and then leave and go home and continue with your plans. Just tell her that you already had plans for later without going into detail as to what they are.

 

[MAKmom]

I'm bringing a 100 soft pretzels to a party today from Pretzel Boys. Do the ribs another time.

 

[Southern4sure]

See I knew I was telling Dh correctly! I also told him to do the ribs this weekend or later in the week.

DH response: No BBQ on the 4th of July is sacrilegious.

Im such a happy person when I ingore Dh.

 

[VickiVM]

If everyone is asked to bring a dish to share, then go ahead and take your ribs but only the amount you want to prepare. With 50 adults taking a dish to share, no one is going to go hungry. Don't feel obligated to bring enough to share with all 50 people.

Also, if you really feel this is going to ruin your idea of a fun 4th for your family, I would gracefully bow out. I'm not saying your family is insignificant, but with 50+ people invited, the hostess will have a lot of guests to tend to and probably won't feel offended if you change your mind.

In this case I would place my family first. Both me and my husband work, so we are grateful for the holdidays to spend quality time with our children.

 

[VickiVM]

See I knew I was telling Dh correctly! I also told him to do the ribs this weekend or later in the week.

DH response: No BBQ on the 4th of July is sacrilegious.

Im such a happy person when I ingore Dh.

From an avid grilling family to another - I feel his pain. My husband grills at least once a week, sometimes twice - and not only on weekends.

Please tell me you use real fire - not gas!

 

[MerryPoppins]

How about having his ribs at lunch? Okay, it's a little heavy for lunch, but if it'd make him happy?

 

[powellrj]

could he make pulled pork instead? Thats what I am taking to a party in a couple of weeks. Just take a couple of packs of buns for those that want them.

 

[lucyanna girl]

As the party is at 5 and dark isn't until 9 or so why not let your DH smoke his ribs before you go, take an appetizer and visit 2 hours or so, then go home eat your ribs and shoot your fireworks. With so many guests I'm sure you wouldn't be the only ones and both you and your DH would get to do what you want to. I am a barbecue kinda girl myself and chili on the 4th just doesn't sound right.

Penny

 

[Planogirl]

Im such a happy person when I ingore Dh.

I can so relate to that!

I like the idea of taking something simple and visiting early just to have a snack. Leave after a short visit, enjoy your ribs and shoot your fireworks. Hopefully, this place isn't a long drive.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

See I knew I was telling Dh correctly! I also told him to do the ribs this weekend or later in the week.

DH response: No BBQ on the 4th of July is sacrilegious.

Im such a happy person when I ingore Dh.

LOL

You can have ribs in 1 month, 1 week and 5 days and deliver them to us at Pop! No need to shoot off your own fireworks then - we can just all go watch Wishes or Illuminations!

 

[Beth76]

I see no reason for your DH not to bring ribs. No one will be bringing enough of one dish for everyone. So just bring the amount that you want. I'm sure many people will enjoy them.

 

[tinatark]

Yes - bring ribs - the amount he had planned on bringing - you don't have to bring enough food for 50.

 

[dznymom3]

But what about your kids? They said no kids allowed, right?
Don't you want to be with them 4th of July during the fireworks?

 

[Marseeya]

I don't think she meant that there would be no kids there; just that there were 50 adults, not counting the kids.

 

[Southern4sure]

50 + invited then add kids to that. It's gonna be a full house....

Poor dh, he thinks if he does ribs then no one will eat the chili this is why he mentioned not cooking enough ribs for 50 people. I say if he wants ribs then cook ribs and deal with it.

 

[ilovepcot]

I *hate* when people do this sort of thing! You get invited, make plans accordingly and then have the rug pulled out from under you. It does put you in a difficult spot and it seems (in my case anyway) that the people "in charge" never realize the dilema they've created. Sometimes people just get so caught up in an event that they don't stop and *think* what problems and hardships they may be creating for others. Can you tell I've been "there" before!!!!???? Again...

 

[Meriweather]

My opinion....and we host a big bash every July 4th.
Bring the ribs and just as many as you want.
Ours is pot luck and no one brings enough to feed everyone......those that get to them first get them, I'm sure there will be plenty of food.

If you want to go somewhere else for fireworks, leave early....we have lots here, but some people leave early for various reasons. Doesn't hurt our feelings.

As for weather.....we live in WA Most of the time we are concerned about rain (not this year though ), we do the canapy thing.....we do not have that many people stay in our house....bathroom use only.