2 day retreat required for school

[marsha123]

my 11 year old just started middle school at a small christian school.we attend this school because our public schools here are really bad'. He is enjoying 6 grade at this school.my problem is they have amandatory camp retreat .he would leave on a monday and return on wed.i have already paid and signed release form but i really do not him to go. my husband says let him go he willbe fine.well i have annual passes to disney and he would not be missing school work just '"bonding time" with friends and teachers. he has had sleepovers with friends but never been out of commuication with us before .this camp is on a lake .the teachers will be "lifeguards" iprefer disney lifeguadrs . would i be abad mother for not sending him to this retreat?i would rather have him safe with me either at home or at disney.

 

[Anewman]

My son was 12 when he went away to nerd camp for the first time, 3 weeks hundreds of miles away from home(up at Stanford). He loved it and only called us like once or twice a week, we hated it.

But now we look foward to it every summer, kinda gives us a break.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids' old school did a week long camp. Everyone looks forward to going. I remember going when I was in 6th grade for two nights. We had a blast! You could volunteer to chaperone but I think it would be better for you to just let him go and spread his wings a bit. He will be home before you know it.

 

[MelCald]

I love signing on in the morning and seeing that people are going through exactly what is happening in my life...
My 11yo DD just left this morning with her 6th grade class for 3 nights. She is very excited..I will miss her terribly.

 

[MoniqueU]

I can't imagine wanting to keep him from this growing and learning experience. I think it's more important for you to let him go and experience being part of a group like this then to take him to disney for a couple of days.

 

[kirbsam]

yes, you would be a bad mother for not letting him go, if the only reasons are what you wrote in your post.

 

[amy4bruce]

If you do not let him go when everybody else is going, and you don't have an actual reason (you'll miss him is not a reason), probably all the other kids will find out and laugh at him.

 

[Principessa Alba]

I know it's scary, but you just have to let him. I always hated those retreats too, I know how you feel. But it's important for your child. Think of it as a growing experience for the both of you!

 

[poohandwendy]

I am wondering how he feels about it? If you signed the release and paid the money, isn't he under the impression that he is going?

I think it sounds like a good experience for him, my advice would be to use this as a learning to let go experience.

 

[marsha123]

thanks all for your replies. i am leaning toward letting him go.

 

[golfgal]

Think of it this way, he needs to learn to be independent some day. These small trips, time away from parents are a good way to start learning how to do things for himself yet he has the teacher's there to fall back on if he needs. You can't expect an 18-21 year old to all of the sudden be independent adults when it is time for college/work without having some practice.

 

[clarabelle]

My DD goes to a private school that has a "bonding" trip every year
Last year -her first year. I had to drop her off crying. She was anxious and didn't want to go. (She is a bit high strung). Anyway she had a good time.
Not an amazing time but I good time and learned she could do it. It was hard for all of us-but I think it made her feel like part of the group. Part of her school family.
This year she is going Sea Kayaking next week and is a little nervous-but also excited.
Just my experience

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My youngest left for college last month. The hardest part of being a parent is letting go. This is just the first step in you learning to do that. He will be chaperoned and with friends. Let him go.

 

[Hannathy]

I second the being a bad Mother. Let him go. As big a part of being a Mother and keeping him safe is teaching him independence and self reliance he can't learn these skills while attatched to your hip. I am curious why you have the deciding vote doesn't your husband, also his parent want to send him? Also think about how he will feel if he is singled out as the "kid who's too big a baby to go" and kids are cruel that's exactly how they will sum it up. Don't just let him go Send him off with encouragement.

 

[mickeyboat]

Let him go. Remember parenting isn't really about the first 18 years of his life, it is about the next 70.

Denae

 

[suzannen]

Think of it this way, he needs to learn to be independent some day. These small trips, time away from parents are a good way to start learning how to do things for himself yet he has the teacher's there to fall back on if he needs. You can't expect an 18-21 year old to all of the sudden be independent adults when it is time for college/work without having some practice.

Exactly what golfgal said. DD's private school start these in the 4th grade and the trips get longer and further away and no parents are allowed. The headmaster said it really helps kids learn to feel independent within a fairly safe and secure environment. After the first two, DD, my DH and I all quit having any apprehensions about and really look forward to them. DD has a great trip and DH and I always book a really expensive restaurant to go on a super romantic date while she's away! Let him go.

 

[Barb D]

You're not a bad mother! But you do need to let him go. He'll be fine. He's becoming an adult little by little...better than all at once.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Of course you let him go to camp! I don't get why you would keep him home....

 

[barkley]

my dd did her first in first grade! i was a bit apprehensive but she had a wonderful time and looks forward to them each year. don't know how yours is set up but with our schools there are academics incorperated-depending on where they are going it could be nature studies, geography, topography-all sorts of things (they went to 'albion' last spring-on the northern california coast-and for several weeks before researched the sea and plant life of the area, when they went they did activities that allowed the kids to see in person what they had previously only observed in text books/on video).

my dd is now 12 and she just finished up her second time at summer sleep away camp (2 full weeks)-she misses us and we miss her, but she 'grows' so much by virtue of having some independance and self responsibility. i think they are tremendous opportunities.

 

[minkydog]

I'm just curious about this: why would you not want him to go? He's 11yo. He's in middle school. I'm assuming that *he* wants to go and you have so far made the preparations for him to go. The chaperones are teachers whom you trust I'm not getting the problem.

Of course you should let him go! Silly mama he's your baby, but he doesn't want his friends to know that. Unless you have evidence of safety violations, there doesn't seem to be a good reason to cancel. What kid would rather go to WDW with his mom than go to camp with all his buddies?