12 year old girls!!!!! vent

[mamajoan]

Hi guys,
I have a 12 1/2 dtr.. notice no dd today, or any day for the past 2 weeks. Everyday I get up I am in a pleasant mood, then she comes in.. the mumbling under her breath, the wierd hair, the same pair of shorts she has worn for the last 8 days, the whining, the bickering between herself and little girlfriends, I have to find a way to not let her ruin my day. I am tired of crying and feeling disrespected. I realize she is trying to break away, and that I have control issues. She is the youngest of 4.
I did not bite my lip today, I just blew!!! The scary thing was I did not yell, I said hateful things and now I feel awful.
Thanks for letting me vent. I will be better in an hour or so. Things will get smoothed over. Life will go on...
I better go say a prayer, maybe St. Joseph will give me some comfort.

blah, blah, blah...
geez I don't think I have ever posted such a negative post before this one.

Joan:

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Sounds like she and your are ready for school to start! If I remember correctly at 12 is when girls really start getting mad at each other one day and then best buddies the next. Glad I don't have any that age anymore!!!

 

[Jeafl]

Joan, I know exactly where you are coming from. My oldest just turned 13 and she is like a Jekyll and Hyde. One minute she is screeching at me or her siblings, and the next minute she is all sweet and wants to go shopping with me. It's hard not to be resentful and carry a grudge. The only thing that works for me is to leave the room and be by myself until I get my feelings under control. Some days it feels like we argue from morning until night. I hope this stage gets over QUICKLY. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over what you said. Just go on from here. If you ever need to vent, or would like a sympathetic ear, please feel free to pm or email me.

 

[browneyes]

My 9 yo dd sounds like your 12 yo dd. I dread the teenage years!


{{hugs}} Parents are human. We have at one time or another said things we later regretted. Sit your dd down and see if you can formulate a truce. {{hugs}}

 

[NHAnn]

Don't be too hard on yourself, I don't know any mom of an adolescent daughter who hasn't "blown" in some way shape or form at some point, especially when feeling disrespected.
I too would always feel so bad when we got into a hateful unproductive exchange. Sigh .... it's a tough time for the kids that age as well as the parents.
Sometimes I would look at my DD and say........Who are you and what have you done with the real Meghan? I'm not talking to any alien life forms ANYMORE!!" and walk away. Sometimes it helped de-fuse an angry situation...sometimes not
Hang in there. Keep communication open and let her know you love her, but also that being disrespectful or rude is hurtful and won't help you two establish a different relationship as you go thru her teen years. This too shall pass. Vent here anytime...it lets the rest of us know we're not alone

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As the mother of an 11yo dd I find it enjoyable, yes you heard me. When she is doing all of those "things" I chase her down and hug her, kiss her...
She was a pain since birth & if she was going to torture me I was going to do it back, only it is my "hug" attacks.

Have I gone insane? Maybe, but it has worked for us. She has become happier too.

 

[mrsv98]

My mom used to say that all adolescent girls should be sent to some kind of interment camp! I was REALLY good at rolling my eyes and slamming doors! She can't wait until my DD is that age, uh oh!!

 

[Evil Princess]

The middle school years are the WORST!
The girls are catty, and they are just plain evil to each other! Luckily most of that changes when high school starts.

I was one of those jeckyl/hyde daughters...prob. still am. The hug attacks, lol I wish that my parents used that on me! Instead we just had screaming matches....fun.

Just take comfort in the fact that it will get much better in a few years.

 

[WendyZ]

Oh I hear you!!! I have a soon to be 13 yr old. While she can be the most adorable thing you have ever seen, there's the other side. She can also ruin anything in an instant! I try to tell myself this to will past. By there are days and limits!! I have blown myself, then regret what I have done. But one can only take so much and we are all human. Don't be to hard on yourself, I'm sure your doing the best you can. But I understand completely!

Hopefully when they are all grown up we'll all look back and laugh!!! If we make it that far!!!! hehehe (just kidding!)

 

[mamajoan]

I'm baaaaackkk..

Well I said my prayers, called sis downstairs and we talked..
I told her we had to work out something of a compromise regarding first thing in the morning crabbies.. we both apologized and hugged. A few minutes later she came downstairs with a paper I recognized. She said "See Mom I do love you, remember this..it was my Christmas wish list.


On the list it said," I wish my mom could use her legs again and not be in pain. This is all I want for Christmas. "
She wrote this the Christmas after my accident .

Thanks for all the support guys, it always helps to hear that I am not some odd monster.
Motherhood has such highs and lows. Just like the rest of our lives... whew. it is 10 am and I feel like I have "been rode hard and put away wet!"
I think we will stop at Starbucks after we finish grocery shopping.
Thanks again. Joan

 

[Lars624]

My DD recently turned 13 and I totally understand what you have going on at your house cause it"s happening here too. Some days she's fine and then some days I'm just waiting for her head to spin around! Maybe we can all support each other when we're having a tough day.

 

[Laurabearz]

As a mother of two girls (currently 3 and 1 1/2) I fear what you are going thru.... (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) So right now, I still rock them both to sleep and sneak in as many hugs and kisses as I can.... coz some day I know they will hate me......

Be Strong and Fear not...........