WWYD? cut trip short to attend wedding?

[3princesses+aprince]

I would absolutely NOT cut my trip short!!!! You have your trip planned and paid for, it's a done deal. 3 months away is extremely short notice for a wedding, and i'm sure everyone knows that you'll be away on that date. Send a lovely gift!!!!! And if I was planning a wedding with such short notice I would make sure everyone that I was close with was able to attend on that date. If it were a huge issue that you be there, i'm sure they could have put it to the weekend before or after!!!!

 

[LWatson]

It would depend on who it is. I was on the other end of this scenario (minus the baby) b4. DH & I had originally planned for an 04 wedding, but because of the military we moved it to an 03 wedding...not just moved it up a few months, but a whole year practically. We gave people a months notice. My grandmother and aunt already had a trip planned to Stone Mountain, GA and didnt attend. I was a little upset about that (because it was my Grandmother), but I had to understand because I did do it so last min. So coming from the bride's view as long as you arent like the sister or grandmother (or close aunt) I would say take your vacation, explain why you cant change (that you would lose a large ammount of money and experience w/ your own family), and then get them a nice gift from Disney.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with the others. I'd alter my plans, if possible, for a CLOSE family member... sibling, parent, or child. For a cousin or more distant friend/family member, I'd send my regrets and a decent present.

Just because you are invited DOES NOT mean that you are obligated to attend... or even to give a gift.

 

[taymacsmom]

since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.

I agree!!!

 

[theatermouse]

I would send my best wishes to them & tell them we already had a family vacation planned. As a gift, you could take them back bride & groom Mickey ears or maybe a nice frame that would be great for a wedding picture. I understand the torn feeling, but they have to understand not everyone can make the wedding, even with ample planning. I know I received plenty of "no" cards back in the mail when I was planning my wedding.

 

[toesmom]

We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?

If you were close family then you would have had some notice of pending wedding.

In your situation with vacation booked, I would just reply to invite with short note and check for $200 to say sorry we can't attend as we have already booked holiday for those days, congratulations.

And I wouldn't feel bad because you are not lying.

 

[a1tinkfans]

We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?

Personally, No I would not be attending. I would call them directly after responding to the invitation and say something like....we are so sorry we cannot attend as our planned vacation is already booked and paid for and we are unable to change it without a significant financial loss. I wish we had known earlier we would have loved to attend...then just send your gift....
Sorry to have to deal with this, but to change everything at this point seems a bit much to me....
Good Luck with your decision...........

 

[AmyBWV99]

Thanks so much for all the feedback!

We just found out 2 days ago no invitations are even out yet that this was all hastily happening baby or wedding.

It's DHs 1st cousin, they live far but they were close growing up.

We thought it may be a whole other matter if our children or DH were invited to be in the wedding but right now we are leaning towards missing it. We're kind of 70/30 right now. Mainly because we will go to the wedding shower and will attend the baby shower and then visit the baby once it's here which is right on top of Christmas. We go to WDW every October but hadn't really told anyone our dates for this year only because they are typically appox the same week every year.

We are under the wire since we need to be buying return tix here VERY soon!

 

[brymolmom]

And I HAVE...Just on our last trip.

We have a close family and one of our nieces had her wedding planned for quite a while...Unfortunately, we thought it was the following weekend for some reason. Then a business conference for dh in Orlando came up - about 6 months prior - and so we planned a vacation around the conference. Then, a couple months later we found out the actual date of the wedding. We did NOT attend. I know the bride wasn't thrilled, but honestly on the day of - I'm sure she didn't really notice.

I did have some guilt but only because I got the date wrong to begin with - if it was a last minute before-the-baby wedding, I wouldn't have any guilt at all. After all - if they truly WANTED all the family there, they would have given a LOT of notice so that they could all clear their schedules. People who schedule last-minute wedding honestly should not expect everyone to show up. People have lives that just can't be thrown out just due to the whim of your last minute decision.

I think I would ONLY consider it if it was someone I was close with now...not someone I was close with years ago...

 

[disneynuts777]

Sorry....but I would be sending my regrets. If it takes longer to plan a family vacation than a wedding than the vacation it will be!!!!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

While I agree that family is SUPER important, I would think that if a "close" family member were even CONSIDERING getting married, they would let us know once they heard us remotely talking about a trip. That way, there would be no surprise weddings to pop up. Heck, last spring we were talking to some friends (okay... so maybe it was February) about our son's b-day and they mentioned when they were having their wedding - all of this was discussed even before the save the date cards were sent. Turns out they were planning the wedding for DSs b-day. That was plenty of time to move up his party a week so we could all spend time together and have fun. It ended up working out better than we thought it would, but again, we had plenty of time to make arrangements to move dates around. It's so difficult to pull off a full wedding in 3 months, let alone tell everyone the good news.

Your trip is set. That is a time that you reserved to spend with your family. While missing a family wedding is sometimes looked down on (by the relatives) they should understand that this is a time that you are considering special by taking your family for the summer. Besides, you said yourself that the airport issues would put someone out what 2.5 hours to pick you up? If I were the person in charge of picking you up, I'd tell you to stay where you were and we'd see you at the next family reunion.

Don't cut the trip short because someone failed to mention a little thing like marriage... send a lovely gift (like PPs have mentioned, find something fabulous ((and personal to them)) at WDW) and have a great time.

 

[wall*e2008]

So third cousins?

Yeah, I would still attend.

Not thirds cousins but first cousins twice removed (you related to them as their grandparents are you are first cousins but you are two generations older then them).

The children of two first cousins are second cousins. Their kids would be third cousins.


Since you always attend events and this was a quick plan, I would keep the vacation plans and give a nice gift and I would be sure to attend all the new baby events.

 

[Illuminations_Rocks]

I agree with the others. I think you have enough "commitment" going to a wedding shower, baby shower, and visiting the baby.

From another "bride" POV:
I was just married 10 months ago. I alerted my family with save the dates LONG before my wedding - so most of them were there. But if I hadn't, well, I got married in August and expect that many people would have been on vacation! Lots of people didn't come to my shower due to their vacations, but that's ok, because it was in June and they only had a month's notice.
They are the ones doing the quick wedding, so they KNOW that people won't all be able to come - as others have said, if it REALLY had mattered that you were there, you would have been asked if the date was OK.
They will understand. Especially if you still attend all the other things, and if you send a gift. Other family may talk, but they will understand. No one will actually care on the day of the wedding... just one less person to talk to, that's all.

It's not like you're ignoring your family and their blessed event. You will still be there for the OTHER blessed events around this one, and you are still acknowledging this one.

 

[sk!mom]

Didn't read all the responses so sorry if this has already been asked, How close a relationship with the couple being married?

My feeling is that if it was a very close relationship then you wouldn't need to ask us if you should go or not. It woud be, "You're getting married- can't wait!!"

If they're not so close and your torn because you just don't want to offend family then I'd skip the wedding. I don't worry about stuf like that. In that case my attitude is, if my presence was so important then you should have checked the dates with me.

I would send a really nice gift and regrets.

 

[wickywinn]

I would definitely miss the wedding. A sister or brother sure but not a cousin. My family is extremely close as well yet when my cousins have gotten married - all with plenty of advance notice - not every cousin came, including my wedding. No one was offended or hurt. I doubt anyone will bat an eye and, if they do, then they're probably the type to easily upset.

 

[fussymonkey]

Thanks so much for all the feedback!

We just found out 2 days ago no invitations are even out yet that this was all hastily happening baby or wedding.

It's DHs 1st cousin, they live far but they were close growing up.

We thought it may be a whole other matter if our children or DH were invited to be in the wedding but right now we are leaning towards missing it. We're kind of 70/30 right now. Mainly because we will go to the wedding shower and will attend the baby shower and then visit the baby once it's here which is right on top of Christmas. We go to WDW every October but hadn't really told anyone our dates for this year only because they are typically appox the same week every year.

We are under the wire since we need to be buying return tix here VERY soon!

I'm very close to my family, too, and was pleased that almost all of my cousins were at our wedding. One of my cousins missed my wedding reception becuase she had Elton John tickets. When she apologized for not being able to be there, I was like "Heck, I'D miss my reception for Elton!". Your husbands family, and the bride, should understand that you have a life and plans that can't be trashed at a moment's notice.

 

[thepwa]

I can't conceive of anyone's wedding I would choose over my vacation...not even my own!

 

[PaDisney02]

I wouldnt go. I hate to miss family events also, but you already have your trip booked. It would be a different story if you didnt already have it booked but why cut your vacation short. Dont feel guilty about it. I would send a gift or a card and definitly call them to let them know why you cant make it. Good Luck!

 

[sunnyday123]

since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.

Totally agree. My brother called me at work the day before he got married ( to someone he knew for 2 months) and while I'm not sure he was "fine" with it, he understood enough. Personally, I wouldn't and wouldn't except anyone else to change plans they've had for months for something I "suddenly" decided I was going to do.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.

agree