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WWYD? cut trip short to attend wedding?

Discussion in 'Disney for Families' started by AmyBWV99, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. AmyBWV99

    AmyBWV99 It's a s'winter s'wonderland; you can freeze while

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    We have a family wedding we just found out about that 'suddenly' came up and will be planned in 3 months before their baby is born.

    We have a trip planned and ressies made and paid, arrival flights made but not yet return flights. We have already paid for the 2 nights at CBR and made all the DVC reservations months ago. Part of us feels obligated to come back and think it'll look selfish that we wouldn't cut 3 days off our trip to attend, then the other side says had we had ANY IDEA we'd have adjusted our dates long before now.

    Aother little tidbit of attending the wedding requires us to fly into their airport (the wedding is 2.5 hours away from our home). Which will mean some family memeber will have to bring us our van and pick us up at their airport. It is doable but kind of a pain to whoever will be responsible for all that, then there's the fact that the days we'd be shaving off are weekend nights at DVC are on borrowed points which means there's no way around losing some. We could use them on the front end of the trip and cancel the CBR portion but there's no scenario that it's even so some will be lost since we're aren't retuning till after our next use year begins. Then there's the fact that our first day in WDW will be resting day so no parking so DH can run RFTT so that's one additional lost park day.

    Ugh, our family is important to us and we attend everything for everyone even the out of town stuff. The only time we've missed the out of town stuff was due to pregnancy or illness so it's basically expected we'll be there.

    IWe're so torn has anyone else had to sacrifice WDW for family stuff?
     
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  3. dvcbnd

    dvcbnd Mouseketeer

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    If it were me, I'd probably not attend the wedding for an extended family member, but attend for immediate family. I would also take into account how "close" I was to the person getting married. I'm not sure if I helped at all - good luck and have a wonderful trip. :goodvibes
     
  4. daisyduck123

    daisyduck123 <font color=green>I just love those parmesan mashe

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    Hi!
    We're DVC members as well, & we've also had to postpone a trip at the VERY LAST minute (we were supposed to spend 8 days at SSR during Thanksgiving week last year & DD14 ended up with an unexpected hospital stay..17 days!)

    What I would do, if I'm understanding your situation correctly, is..try, try, try to move your weekend nites to the front of your trip and if you can, then cancel CBR).

    If you're not able to rearrange the days, & will end up losing the points...I honestly think my family would miss the wedding, unless we had another trip scheduled soon. My family's vacations are mainly ALL about our two children (DD14 has esp. been thru a lot this year) & no way, would I shorten our WDW trip on her. WDW is much more enjoyable than a wedding!

    Be prepared though, for some family members to be upset. Most people just don't understand our 11month/7month booking windows & why we need to plan our vacations so far ahead of time. Our plans can't just be changed at the "drop of a hat".

    Good luck to whatever you go with!
     
  5. MariDisney

    MariDisney Queen of the World

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    I'd probably send a lovely gift that is more extravagent if I attended along with my regrets.
     
  6. disneyjunkie

    disneyjunkie I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU!!!

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    I feel the same way family. We are very close, even extended family. I would attend the wedding. Disney will always be there.
     
  7. dis-happy

    dis-happy DIS Veteran

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    Would really depend on how close a family member this is (sister or brother? vs. neice or nephew or aunt or cousin?). Also, is there a shower you can attend at least? Your own family and your vacation time is important too. I think it would be okay to bow out, especially if you focus on the point that you have planned this for many months so your husband could run and have already purchased non-refundable airline tickets (not need to mention your return flight hasn't been booked yet!).
     
  8. powellrj

    powellrj DIS Veteran

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    It really depends on how close the family member is. For a brother or sister, I would go, but for a cousin twice removed, I would pass.
     
  9. momof1princess

    momof1princess <font color=darkorchid>i feel like i'm going to ex

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    since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.
     
  10. disneyjunkie

    disneyjunkie I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU!!!

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    What does cousin twice removed mean? Forgive me for not using google.:flower3:
     
  11. churchpilot

    churchpilot I never look back, Dahling, it distracts from the

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    Considering the time and expense of a Disney vacation and the fact that this is a wedding you didn't know about when you planned your trip, I would pass and send a generous gift and note. The fact that you are so close with your family should help. They know you and know your heart. If you are like most Disney people, these trips are priceless and there is no guarantee of another trip. Follow your heart and best wishes.
     
  12. dis-happy

    dis-happy DIS Veteran

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    It would be two people who are cousins, and twice removed would be 2 generations down (one cousin has children, and they again have children, those would be twice removed).
     
  13. disneyjunkie

    disneyjunkie I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU!!!

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    So third cousins?

    Yeah, I would still attend.
     
  14. MSSANDRA

    MSSANDRA DIS Veteran

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    I would be sure and let the bride and groom know that you already had plans when they scheduled the wedding and that is why you are unable to attend.

    Send a nice gift and perhaps a token from WDW for the new baby if you are close and enjoy your family trip.
     
  15. adventure_woman

    adventure_woman DIS Veteran

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    For me, it depends on what relatives. If they were brother/sister, then I would probably go to the wedding. Other than that, I would let them know that we had plans months and months ago and I'm so sorry I can't attend. I am a big planner ahead, and why should I and my family suffer if someone can only plan 3 months ahead?! (I understand it is for the baby, but they have to understand that is short notice). Now, if it was 6 months to a year out, then they are planning ahead. And it sounds horrible, but if my family were to get mad, so be it. They'll be mad at someone for something, so it might as well be me going to the merriest place in the world!!
     
  16. bumbershoot

    bumbershoot DIS Veteran

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    No. the "removed" part is different from just 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins. I can't explain in words, I have to have a chart, LOL.

    OK I'll try.

    Let's pretend my brother has kids. So there's me and brother.

    I have a son, E. Pretend my brother has a son. They are first cousins to each other.

    When they each have kids, their kids will be second cousins to each other.

    However, E and brother's son's child would have "removed" in their relationship name. Going straight across the list is 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc cousins. When you go diagonal, that's when "removed" comes into play. And the number down is the numbered part of the once/twice/etc removed.
     
  17. bumbershoot

    bumbershoot DIS Veteran

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    OH, and I might not go to the wedding, but would send a nice present. Then again, I don't go to many weddings, and don't think I've been to ANY cousin's wedding, ever, b/c they just don't think to ask me. OH wait, one cousin asked, but I couldn't go.
     
  18. Michigan_tinkerbell

    Michigan_tinkerbell Mouseketeer

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    This happened to us our last trip. We had the trip planned and paided for and then about 2 months beofre we were to go our best friends daughter decided to get married before her baby was bron. The wedding was on the last day of our trip.
    We ended up not going. We told them we were sorry but there was nothing we could do.

    Good luck
     
  19. Disneyliscious

    Disneyliscious DIS Veteran

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    I agree with most others. Go on your trip and send a nicer gift than if you had acually attended. Be sure to get them a momento from Disney too - for them and baby.

    Regarding the "twice removed" thing. Ive never understood that. I always thought it was a slang term...lol. I didnt know it was real. I always saw it as 1st, 2nd, 3rd cousin.....etc.

    Example:

    My dad is Larry. Larry's cousin is Mickey (yes, really).
    Mickey is my 2nd cousin
    Mickey is my son's 3rd cousin

    Now....on to the conusing part for me....

    My brother is Michael.....who has a son we call Boogie (nickname)
    My son is James
    James and Boogie are cousins
    Boogie has a son
    We have no idea what Boogies son is to my son lol...and have actually tried to figure this out for a while now. The baby is my "great-nephew".......is this where the 'twice removed' thing comes in to play?

    I apoloize for the threadjack.....it was just interesting to me.
     
  20. dis-happy

    dis-happy DIS Veteran

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    Bumbershoot explains it well, and it IS much easier to see with a chart.


    The children of two cousins are "second cousins" to each other. Anything that goes across is first, second or third cousins.

    When you jump between generations, you are "removed". My mom has a cousin. To me, that person is my cousin "once removed". To my child, that person would be her cousin "twice removed" (ie. two generations down).
     
  21. lovesdumbo

    lovesdumbo DIS Veteran

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    They would be first cousins once removed.

    It has to do with what relative the have in common.

    First cousins share grandparents. James and Boogie have the same grandfather.

    James & Boogie's son are both related to your Dad but your Dad is your son's grandfather and your great nephew's great grandfather.

    If you have a grandchild then that child and your great nephew will have the same great grandparents so that makes them 2nd cousins.
     

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