Women & Children Seated First?

I just asked my DH if he gives up his seat on the bus because he thinks women are the 'gentler' or weaker sex. He just laughed and said *expletive* no! Please, he has seen me give birth twice with no drugs, BF 2 babies through the age of 2. Suffer a miscarriage on my birthday. Go through many other trial and tribulations in our 16 years together as well as fight for my family and children tooth and nail. He has seen his mother battle cancer twice and win. Does he give up his seat because he thinks women are weak? No way! He respects women too much to think they are weak. THAT is why he gives up his seat.

So, does he respect men? Does he offer his seat to a man for no other reason?

Or does he respect women even more than men? And if so, why? I haven't given birth. So why offer me a seat when the man standing next to me may be a firefighter or a soldier?

Respecting or not respecting someone based solely on their gender does not make sense to me. I'm sorry if that makes you feel like I think badly of your husband. I have no reason to think he is anything but an intelligent, nice, respectful man. That doesn't change the fact that I don't think 'because I respect women' is any more of a logical answer than 'I think women are weaker.'
 
One father even told me he intends to stay with his family in case he's needed...seriously? It's a 10 min bus ride!!!

I can't speak for that particular family, but if you were talking about my family, I would say yes, seriously. My son was very good at the parks and hotel on our last trip, but he was not a fan of the buses. Half the time he would squirm and try to get out of our laps; he was out of his element because normally in the car he would be strapped into his car seat. So yes, my husband needed to be with us in order to help out. We tried to move as far back as possible when the bus was full, but you should not expect parents with young children to be okay with being separated just because it's only twenty minutes or less.
 


I will always offer my seats. I have also made my son hold doors for people in public. A few times I have had to tell the people "your welcome". Often times they won't even acknowledge him and I speak up for him. Please remember to thank these kids that do this, because there aren't many out there. He will always hold the doors for his mom and sister.
 
People do what they do. Tradition and history are at work. All over the world people are doing perfectly legal but illogical and unnecessary things. Ordering their existences around some unknowable pattern that baffles our imagination. And you may disagree with it all. You can't expect other people to play by your rules when on a Disney bus. Remember the original post was about...somebody suggesting that their personal rules applied to everyone...your rules don't apply to me. I will offer my seat if I choose and if you choose to be insulted then savor that emotion. It's all yours.
 
I don't need a seat or a door held open for me just because I'm a woman. Being chivalrous is about thinking that women are the weaker sex, not about respect.

DH does not think women are the "weaker" sex but he was raised, as were our boys to be polite which I love. I've had younger men let a door slam in my face, but men my age and older always let me go first, etc. I think younger people are so hung up on equality (what they think it is) that they completely ignore manners. As a PP said, I also had two babies totally drug free and DH will absolutely tell you I am far from weak. That said, I think it's terribly sad that some are so offended by a mere expression of respect and manners. You can see it in our everyday actions towards each other, unfortunately. Do not be offended because a man opens a door or lets you sit on a bus. Thank them and get over thinking they think less of you (they don't). It is absolutely about respect and someday maybe you will understand that.
 


In my opinion, no one is entitled to someone else's seat. It is really nice when someone offers their seat to someone else but it should not be expected and people should not look down on someone who chooses to keep his or her seat. If someone really NEEDS to sit they have many choices. They can choose to leave the parks earlier or later than the crowds when seats are more available. They can rent a car. They can take a taxi. Their choice should never be to try and shame someone into giving them a seat.
 
Our last trip it seems like we were always standing on the buses. It was always just me trying to keep two two year olds upright. There were quite a few times I wished someone would have offered us a seat. One seat would have gotten all 3 of us sitting and in a safer position. Kids that young really had a hard time standing as the bus moved, turned, braked, etc.

Next trip I'll only have one 2 year old and two 5/6 year olds so I think they'll be able to manage better. But I definitely would not turn down one single seat that's get us all sitting!

You might consider renting a car until your children are able to stand on the buses safely.
 
I'm having a hard time putting these statements together. I mean, I'm sure it was cooler on the bus, but wasn't the sun down AND you're undercover at the bus stop? What heat is there?
September is still extremely hot. Even at night. Perhaps more so to us since we are Canadians. We are in tees and tanks at 50 degrees ;) add a hot heavy kid and our body temps increase hugely since I was holding her.

It's seriously not a big deal. Like I said. I am not judging. I just didn't understand. Trust me, I wish I had brought my wallet, we would have taken a cab. But it was our first party. You live, you learn.
 
So your solution is that I should stand, holding her, in the heat instead? Like a PP said, you can't dictate common courtesy, it's a shame it's long gone away. Your attitude perfectly demonstrates the entitlement I was speaking of. And I don't judge anyone for sitting, I merely said I was a little miffed, because, as I said, I am the type that would offer my seat in a heartbeat to anyone who looked as though they needed it more than me. Not that it matters, but it was at the end of the MNSSHP, the only late night we did on any of our 4 trips. I've already told DH that when we do MVMCP this year, we are taking a taxi home, however I traveled to the park empty handed and bagless, which means no cash for a taxi. It's not a matter of me expecting others to take care of me, SMH, some people are so ignorant. And heartless. I'm sorry, but in an entire bus, you can't argue that EVERYONE has an ailment. Forcing a mom to stand with a sleeping child is a jerk move, I don't care who you are. I will continue to give up my seat and see the positive in anything. I hope when you are in need of a seat you are given one, and not forced to deal with others with your same attitude.

The answer is that you could have sat on a bench someplace until the crowds subsided and then gotten on to an empty bus. Being miffed tells me that you really did expect someone to give up their seat for you. The jerk move was you for assuming that you deserved a seat more than someone else when you had other options. By the way, I strongly recommend against going into the park with absolutely no cash. You never know when your Magic Band might act up just when your overheated child is in need of a drink or ice cream.
 
The rudest thing I ever saw on a Disney bus was a woman, her litter of kids and her packages all firmly planted in seats while people stood. So I am firmly opposed to people using seats to hold their shopping bags while people stand.
I'm one who if I really want a seat then I wait for the next bus, if I don't care whether I stand (eg getting back to my resort or to my ADR is more important than resting my aching feet) I make that decision when it's obvious the seats are all taken and I get on anyway expecting to stand. We also don't tend to try getting around at very high crowd times, except the occasional park closing. The waiting for the next bus would be a lot easier if they gave us more seats to sit on while we waited or things to lean on.

I would have handed her the shopping bags and either sat or offered the seat to someone. I've had to do this on my commuter rail occasionally and wouldn't hesitate to do the same at Disney.
 
Well, as a pregnant woman, I can say that I'd rather not have a bad fall being pregnant were the bus to slam on the breaks. You're safer sitting. Pregnant women aren't fragile, and I don't think anyone is saying pregnant women are fragile. But growing a baby is a ton of frigging work- most people know that, which is why they offer to help.
That's a good reason for you to rent a car, take a taxi or take the bus long before or after the crowds.
 
Last edited:
That's a good reason for you to rent a car, take a taxi or take the bus long before or after the crowds.

Not really sure what your response has to do with what I wrote. I was responding to a poster who said she preferred standing while pregnant, and other poster who was kind of offended that offering your seat meant women were the weaker sex. I don't expect anyone to give up their seat for me- and I never said that I did. I'm quite capable of figuring out how to get to and from where I need to be safely. That being said, I still believe offering up your seat to the elderly or a heavily pregnant woman is good manners, but I would never expect anyone to do that for me.
 
Not really sure what your response has to do with what I wrote. I was responding to a poster who said she preferred standing while pregnant, and other poster who was kind of offended that offering your seat meant women were the weaker sex. I don't expect anyone to give up their seat for me- and I never said that I did. I'm quite capable of figuring out how to get to and from where I need to be safely. That being said, I still believe offering up your seat to the elderly or a heavily pregnant woman is good manners, but I would never expect anyone to do that for me.

Perhaps I misread your post (sorry) but my opinion stands. If a pregnant woman (or a parent of young children, someone disabled, elderly or just about anyone else) does not feel safe or able to stand on a Disney bus, she should consider renting a car, taking a taxi or using the buses during off peak times when seats are available. As I said earlier, it is very nice when people offer their seats to others, but people should not depend or expect that to happen if they have a need that might not be met by their assumptions.
 
I can't speak for that particular family, but if you were talking about my family, I would say yes, seriously. My son was very good at the parks and hotel on our last trip, but he was not a fan of the buses. Half the time he would squirm and try to get out of our laps; he was out of his element because normally in the car he would be strapped into his car seat. So yes, my husband needed to be with us in order to help out. We tried to move as far back as possible when the bus was full, but you should not expect parents with young children to be okay with being separated just because it's only twenty minutes or less.
No problem with that...but if a dad, or any other person, decides they 'have' to stand there, with stroller, in front of his family, and blocking off access to the area behind them? Yes, there's a problem with that. And those are the people I'm talking about. At the busy times of day, opening and closing, there always seems to be 'that' family....kid in the stroller until they get to the bus door, then hold up those behind them while they remove the child, empty the stroller of all the bags and such, fold it up and then get on the bus. Then, dad stands, with the stroller, in front of mom and the kids, and when the driver asks people to move to the back of the bus, he doesn't move. Which tends to block the aisle since others with strollers can't get by....then you end up with an empty space, that others could have filled, but are now left at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus.
 
I agree with some above statements. I would offer my seat, but if your pregnant wouldn't your husband get up for you. I agree rent a car or go another time when your not pregnant. To many germs and people. Remember you chose to go when you were pregnant no anyone else. If it came down to my kids or you, you would be standing because my kids safety is more important to me than yours.
 
As a woman I think the whole men giving seats to women is ridiculous. I have been on the bus in heels (on the way to a resort for dinner) and been more able to stand then my husband because he hurt his ankle that day. Someone may have thought he was rude but frankly I don't give a damn. If I couldn't stand in heels I wouldn't be wearing them.

Small children that are too small to stand and hold on I could see giving up a seat for. As I could for someone older (which btw I think most do. I went with my mom and I think she maybe had to stand once the entire trip. Most of the time someone moved for her (which she accepted as she was hurting and using wheelchairs in the parks most of the time) and many times offered me a seat too (which I declined. Mom needed a seat but really I didn't)

As for holding the door open for people and that sort of thing... I hold the door open for anyone that is close behind me. I will move ahead and get the door for people carrying things that would make it difficult to open the door. Gender doesn't matter for either of these.
 
What is your opinion-should it be Disney policy for women and children to sit first?

I know some people might complain at me about this but I've never really understood the whole "women" in the "women and children" bit.

I'm a woman and I can stand just as long as a bloke can and I don't tire out any faster than a guy. If the bus slammed on its anchors or had to swerve I'd have the same reaction time as a man. So if a guy offered my his seat I'd politely decline.

However elderly, small children, disabled and pregnant I'd jump up and offer the seat.
 
A few random thoughts. Do I need a man to offer me a seat? No. Am I insulted if they do? No. I get up and offer my seat to those who appear to need it more than I do.
Holding doors? I expect that the person I front of me will hold the door open for me, vs going thru and letting it close. I don't need, or expect, a man to get to the door before me, hold it open and allow me to pass through before he does! I hold doors open for anyone near me. I try to get to the closed door to open it for a mom with a stroller, or an elderly person.
I'm 66....from a time when men opened doors, gave up seats, carried packages. I no longer expect it. Nor do I care about it. I'm healthy and able-bodied. Yes, it 'was' a show of respect. Doesn't automatically happen now. And it's certainly not worth the effort to argue about it. People will do what they want to do. You can not force your expectations on others.
 

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!






Top