Widowers/Widows and Disney

[pixiecarolyn]

My darling husband passed away 20 months ago very suddenly, just two days before out 10th trip to Disney. He loved Disney and everything about it. I went back last year with my son dil and Granddaughter and it was ok however going back in Sept this year with a friend for a week andthen doing a Disney cruise. However I have now booked up to for by myself Sept 2014 to the Coronado springs and I feel that my late husband will also be with me and I will be able to do the things he loved most. Will be a difficult trip

Carolyn

 

[Stitch1231]

Just bumping the thread back to the top so it might be added to again!

Keep the stories coming

One of these stories might brighten a fellow travelers day!

 

[nurse.darcy]

Judy and I first went to WDW in 1987 (the year before we got married) and went regularly (see signature) until we moved to Orlando in 2003 (when we retired). Unfortunately about a year later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and did not survive another year. At the times she was very well know on DisBoards and I posted this.

So sorry for your loss. I have spoken to you before. I know you treasured her and she is greatly missed. Hugs friend.

 

[Stitch1231]

Lets keep the stories going hope they help some one who is not wanting to go bak, or needs to see that they are not alone in this or just because some one needed to share to make them selves feel better

 

[ttester9612]

Stitch thanks for starting this tread.

I haven't been on DisBoards for awhile because I was tired of reading about singles.

It will be 14 years on August 23 since my husband passed away (he was only 49). He had a bad heart and was on John Hopkins heart transplant list. Unfortunately, he did not live to receive a heart. My son was just getting ready to enter 10th grade. My husband and I were planning that once he received his heart we were going to celebrate at Disney. It's been rough being a single parent to a teenage boy. My first time back to Disney was not until December 2005 to celebrate my dad's 80th birthday. Having my family there was good, but there were times when something reminded of Bob and I would get in a gloomy mood. My son would be the one to snap me out of it. He would say "you are in Disney, Dad would not want you to be sad....you need to have FUN!" And I would just picture Bob standing there telling me that. I would start laughing and thanking my son.

 

[momtoce&j]

Wow! Glad and sad I found this thread.

I have often wondered over the past 3 years if there were any other Dis Widows out there. Read the threads about single parents, found some there but wondered why there wasn't a thread just for us. (Never thinking maybe I should start one. so thank you Stitch)

In January of 1999, my then husband of 13 years, was diagnosed with Brain Cancer. 16 months and 2 brain resections later, he passed away in our home while I sat next to him. It was the day after Mother's Day.

He hung on long enough to know what college our oldest was heading off to and that financial aid was in place.

2 months later - July 4th 2010, I drove down to WDW with my 3 kids + 1 of their friends. We had been down twice before - 2005 & 2006. That trip we stayed offsite and only did MK. That day was tough. Most of the time we were in Orlando was tough. I made the kids go in the Country Bear Jamboree. The last time we were there my husband spent the rest of the day (and then some) telling us the most terrible bear jokes. We smile about it now when we think back, but that day, while everyone else sat and enjoyed the a/c and the show, my 3 kids cried...the whole time...and for a good bit after. I made them go because I didn't want them to always be sad that he wasn't with us anymore. I wanted them to be able to take their own families to WDW in the future and tell their kids how when they were little, "grandpa" told the most horrible bear jokes and smile.

For 2 days of that trip we went to US/IOA - mainly to visit the new WWOHP. Like WDW, we went as a family to US/IOA in 2006, and like MK, my kids walked around the park sad. That is until we arrived at WWOHP. Since that section was brand spanky new, my 3 were able to experience it without the 'ghost' of Daddy trailing with us. The big huge smiles on their faces made the whole trip worth it. It was stinkin hot out, we were waiting in line for the Forbidden Journey for well over 2 hours, but the smiles on their faces as we saw each section of the castle....priceless. I have the best pics of them.


I have taken them back down to FL twice since that trip. (Well, I have taken the younger 2. The older one was always in college when we went down.) I am hoping to be able to take them again in a few weeks. It was planned until I was laid off from work this past January. Now it is on hold as I am waiting to hear if I have the position I have been interviewing for for the past 2 months. If I get the job (fingers crossed) I might have to start July 1. So no vacation this year. If I do not get the job then I plan on taking my tax refund and finding a place to rent last minute and we would leave as soon as my middle one is out of school - her last day...I'd start driving about 3 hours into her 'summer vacation' We would be there from 6/27-7/6.

There is not a day that goes by when any of us do not think about him. Vacations are easier now, Florida is a happy place for us again. We have yet to revisit other places we used to vacation at every year, ie: Lake George and LBI. But in time we will get back there.

Well, I have gone on long enough. Thank you for all your stories, I have enjoyed reading them. Keep them coming. Thank you for reading about mine.

 

[Simba's Mom]

For those of you widows/widowers, I have a question. How soon after your spouse died, did you welcome a return trip to WDW? The reason I ask is that Dad died just a few months ago, and he and Mom used to go to WDW yearly. As a matter of fact, when he was in the hospital she kept telling him that he needed to improve so they could go on their yearly trip in March, but sadly just the opposite happened. She talks about missing WDW, and I'd like to surprise her with a trip on Mother's Day 2014. That would be 17 months after Dad died. Is that too soon? Would it help if we stayed in a different hotel? They stayed at the Beach Club, and since we're DVC, it would be BCV for us. But I'm thinking of BWV. Or do you think the familiarity would be a comfort?

 

[Kirk]

For those of you widows/widowers, I have a question. How soon after your spouse died, did you welcome a return trip to WDW? The reason I ask is that Dad died just a few months ago, and he and Mom used to go to WDW yearly. As a matter of fact, when he was in the hospital she kept telling him that he needed to improve so they could go on their yearly trip in March, but sadly just the opposite happened. She talks about missing WDW, and I'd like to surprise her with a trip on Mother's Day 2014. That would be 17 months after Dad died. Is that too soon? Would it help if we stayed in a different hotel? They stayed at the Beach Club, and since we're DVC, it would be BCV for us. But I'm thinking of BWV. Or do you think the familiarity would be a comfort?

I find (and found) WDW good therapy but I don't know about a complete surprise. Be prepared to roll with either 24/7 attention or giving her complete "space" as required. (We all handle loss differently.) If it were me in her shoes I would want to spend some time remembering then turn the page to something new. Maybe some time at BC or BW then the Grand Floridian for some pampering.

 

[Stitch1231]

Stitch thanks for starting this tread.

I haven't been on DisBoards for awhile because I was tired of reading about singles.

Well, thank you I too was sick of hearing bout singles and well I also missed the forums after my wife passed back in september 2010. So I decided I needed to vent and that I did.

 

[eliza61]

Hi guys,
I'm a relative new widow. My wonderful husband of 27 years lost his battle with leukemia last October.
Actually took my sons and neice to the world during spring break. It went a lot better than I expected but then we made it a point to NOT do any of the things dh loved.

Dh was not the big Disney fan that I was but it's hard to think that I won't be going with him anymore.

***sighs*** my girlfriend and I are taking a short trip the last week in September.

 

[ttester9612]

My next trip is Sept 5-12, and I just brought my ticket for Night Of Joy. Never attended that event before so I'm really looking forward to it. This will be the first trip that I'm totally solo (no family no friends). Scary and excited!

 

[Stitch1231]

Bump to put it back on the 1st page

 

[Stitch1231]

Just returned from WDW on 7/10
I have to say it was different going down by car and going at a time that well my wife loved to go.

It was not sad but awkward. Going back in December

So keep the stories coming people

 

[4fordisneyworld]

We lost the most incredible husband and daddy in April of 2008. We had just returned home from Disney and he died in our bed at home 4 days later. I swore I would never return to Disney. In fact, my husband had purchased us the best gift ever of a membership to DVC. Since I was still within my 10 day period from date of sale I gave up the contract. Then after some very long days and nights, (those still occur five years out) I knew I had to get myself and my our girls back to Disney soon or I really would never go again. So in Dec of 2008 we returned, along with my parents and brother's family. I bought back into the DVC and we have been going back ever since. Each trip creates new memories, but the sadness remains and sometimes there are things we cannot do on a particular trip. Just too much and we all have talked about having grace with each other as the memories hit us all at different times. I can say the hardest thing is watching all the other families who still have their daddy with them. I see a dad carrying his little girl and her shirt will read "Daddy's Princess" and I lose it.
I know my husband wanted our girls to grow up going to Disney and enjoy the time we would spend there making memories each year. So although it looks so much different than we had planned, I intend to the best of my ability to continue his dream.
My heart goes out to each of you that have lost your soul mate. I know these are roads none of us could have ever imagined being integrated into our lives, but speaking for myself, God carries myself and my precious children through. We are so blessed that we can escape to our true happy place and just be away from the reality of life at home.
I will always be grateful to my husband for the gift of being able to return to our home away from home and remember him in such a special way there. I have many stories I could share about how we have celebrated his life in Disney if anyone ever cares to hear....feel free to ask

Blessings

 

[Sandy1892]

So glad to have found this page, my late husband and I discovered Disney 1985 when our DS was 4 and DD just 18 months old. We returned every year I was the real Disney nut but my DH loved to watch the family have fun. While on holiday there in 2009 out the blue my DH had a stroke the day before we were due to fly home, he was 49, we were staying at POFQ the staff were fantastic. Two weeks later we flew home and DH spent the next year learning to walk and talk, to celebrate his improvement we all returned to WDW OKW. DH had a great time lots of laughs and 3 of us to push his wheelchair.
We had booked another family holiday New Year 2012 at SSR sadly 5 weeks before we were due to go my DH had a heart attack and passed away.
My DS and DD decided that we should still go,so we left as planned. It was very cathartic, we talked about Dad,remember when he did this,we talked of the fun times and the sad times, we held each other and cried together but best of all we celebrated how lucky we had been to have had him in our lives.
We carry on the tradition of an annual holiday in WDW and remember all the good times.
Thank you dear people for listening to me.

 

[lulubelle]

I lost my wonderful DH to lung cancer at the age of 58 on 9/5/10 - one day after your wife, Stitch. He battled it so bravely for 13 months. It was very hard and some days are worse than others. I feel like I have just started to think about returning to a "normal" life in the past few months. Is that weird?

I have been a Disney fanatic for several years and DD26 goes with me frequently. I also have a group of girlfriends I go to DL with (Dis Diva's on the DL thread, great bunch of women ). I have DVC which makes it easier. DH wasn't a big Disney fan so it was my happy place. I think that makes it easier for me to enjoy it without him. I am braving my first solo trip to WDW in Feb, I am excited and nervous at the same time. I go to DL by myself all the time as I am just over an hour away. Thanks for sharing everyone, it's touching to read everyone's story.

 

[winterman]

I returned from another WDW trip 10 days ago. As I have previously posted, my first trip since DH's death on 1/24/12, was a solo trip in Dec. 2012. It was something I felt I needed to do and was not particularly excited about. But, I did it and was glad I did. This last trip was very different. Although we didn't travel or stay together (I was at POR, they were at POP), DD, DSiL and DGS (13 mo.) were there at the same time. We did our 2 park days together - MK and Epcot and I watched the baby while they went to KSC. This was an entirely different experience then the many trips DH and I took together. But, I loved watching Trevor's face in new situations. He LOVED the characters, especially Pluto, who got down on the floor with him during a meet 'n greet. Nothing upset him. But, I didn't go on most of the rides that I usually do and had never done just 2 parks. That was mostly due to the heat. One big accomplishment during the trip was eating solo at a TS restaurant for the first time.
I really enjoyed myself but it wasn't enough Disney. So as soon as I got home, I started thinking about when I could go back. There are several complicating factors but I finally settled on dates. I booked a river view room at POFQ at the AAA rate and found decent flights at a price I could live with.

So I'll be back at Disney World 11/9/13 to 11/16/13 and I am EXCITED. I'll always wish that DH was still with me but I feel like I taken another step in the healing process.

I wish you all well.

 

[maggie_sam]

My DH passed away in 2007 at age 59 after a month long battle with sepsis from a cut on his leg. The months after were a blur of trying to handle so many details, and just when I thought I finally had time to grieve, our DD suffered a major neurological insult which requires long term care. My DH was not big on vacations, and was happiest going fishing off the beach. He grudgingly came to WDW when the kids were young, but most trips I made on my own with the children. In 2010 I decided I needed to do something, and despite his resistance to WDW, he enjoyed it when we were there, and just couldn't bring myself to focus on WDW. So, I booked a DCL cruise with my DM, DG and DD. Never liked the water or boats, but discovered I love cruising. It has opened a whole new world of cruise friends, and DD, DG and I are leaving on our 3rd DCL cruise in two weeks. I would love to do solo without the family, but the double fare hit for singles is just too big of a barrier for me to move past. I have also toyed with the idea of trying WDW solo, but so far haven't done much more than think about it. It is nice to find this group. I don't have any single friends, all are married and that makes it really hard at times, but I am always busy with family so not something that I dwell on.

 

[WDisneyMom]

Hello, Disney friends. I lost my husband on February 24, 2014, it will be 2 months tomorrow and it still seems so unreal. His passing was sudden and unexpected and I am just heartbroken and devastated, he was the love of my life, my soulmate. We were married for 15 years, together for 16 years and have 2 beautiful boys together, ages 12 and 15.

The boys are I are trying to take things one day at a time but some days it just feels impossible. We miss him so very much. I am grateful to have found this thread and to have the DISboards in general, Disney always gives me a sense of peace and happiness, much needed during this difficult time.

Happy Easter and thank you for being here.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Stitch, thank you for starting this thread. WDisneyMom, thank you for finding and resurrecting it. My heart goes out to you, you are so young. Like you, I am a recent widow. My husband Steve had a heart attack in his sleep on December 14, 2013. The EMS were able to revive him but he was in a coma for 4 days and never woke back up. Finally, we had to make the agonizing decision to remove him from life support. He died December 18th, the day after his 56th birthday. He leaves me with a 19 year old daughter who was the apple of his eye. Steve had retired last summer after 37 years as a firefighter and we had just celebrated our 30th anniversary with a cruise in October. With his crazy schedule, he spent a lot of one on one time with DD and they were extremely close. We started taking DD to WDW when she was 6 years old. After we got home she cried herself to sleep because she wanted to go back, so pretty much every year after that we would take her there. The two years we didn't were because we went cruising instead. At some point we decided it would be a good idea to buy a timeshare right outside of the parks. We have so many happy memories and laugh when we think of some of our Disney moments together. On May 17th she and I will return, along with my brother and his wife, for our first trip since Steve's death. Part of me is looking forward to it but part of me thinks we will do a lot of crying at the Happiest Place on Earth. It is interesting to see how it has been for those of you who have made that first trip back without your loved one.