Why do people brag about being mean all the time?

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by shortbun, Oct 8, 2012.

  1. Mandychelle79

    Mandychelle79 DIS Veteran

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    Sometimes the only way to get through to someone is to be blunt. I do think people take offense to things more than before, partly due to how my parents generation raised my generation. No cut teams, no red pens, etc, because it may hurt someones feelings. I am more of a suck it up and deal with it type of person, I am never intentionally mean, but probably come across that way at times, mainly because I tend to treat people how I expect to be treated. Sometimes the truth hurts. I think it is much worse to be as sweet as pie to someones face and talk behind their back.
     
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  3. goofinoff

    goofinoff These pretzels are making me thirsty!<br><font col

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    While I do think that there are definitely "meanies" out there, I also believe that a lot of people read into things way too much. It's hard to interpret something when you can't hear the tone in which it is presented. I made a comment on a different thread that was a total joke (at least I thought it was funny.....the thread was about a reality show) and I was called rude. I wasn't trying to be rude at all. The conversation was getting heated and I was trying to lighten the moment. I have a sarcastic sense of humor and have to remember that not every does.

    I do find that there are certain people on this board who have to "rain on everyone's parade." Constantly correcting spelling or grammar. If I see a thread that doesn't interest me I usually don't post on it. I just find that it's the same people over and over who are almost picking a fight.
     
  4. Heidict

    Heidict <font color=blue>I'm not witty enough for a tag...

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    I haven't really found it to be a problem on this board but then it takes a lot to offend me and I may think a comment isn't mean while someone else does. Who is right though?

    Seems like we have to go through life these days, in fear of offending someone. It gets exhausting!!! While there are definitely people out there that are hateful and mean because it makes them feel better or they think it's funny, I think much of what people perceive as mean isn't. Could just be perception though.
     
  5. goofinoff

    goofinoff These pretzels are making me thirsty!<br><font col

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    :thumbsup2
     
  6. sunshinehighway

    sunshinehighway DIS Veteran

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    :thumbsup2

    Sometimes it seems like posters only want you to agree with them . Any other opinion is considered mean or rude. Why ask for advice or post a thread about a situation if you don't want real opinions?

    I also find there are some posters who are just too serious about everything and don't understand sarcasm at all.

    I'd rather someone tell me they don't agree with me than say they do just to be nice. You can't learn from mistakes if you don't know you make any.
     
  7. NY Disney fan

    NY Disney fan DIS Veteran

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    I disagree. Sometimes DISer's want to talk it out and talking to a stranger sometimes is easier than talking to a friend. But some people on this board are so mean. They say things like "put your big girl panties on" and other nonsense that people with no empathy say.
     
  8. skater

    skater <font color=blue>Change sometimes stinks.. doesn't

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    I agree with this. Even if someone is asking for advice, I try to frame it in a helpful way. Being mean is not helpful. Its even possible to be honest with "tough" advice without being nasty. It just takes a little effort. And a little empathy.
     
  9. Sgt Mickey

    Sgt Mickey <font color=red>I will always remember where I was

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    I also disagree with this. IMO it is just another way to be nasty and blame it on the poster. I think that sometimes the person is asking one thing and being accused of 10 other things so when they defend themselves this is what is thrown at them.
    Not to say that some people do not want real opinions but I don't think this falls under most posters.
     
  10. Rylee

    Rylee DIS Veteran

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    The reality is, many of these people are WEAK.

    It takes a lot more strength to remain calm and speak rationally, than it does to blow up and lash out with your tongue. They actually lack self-control.

    I think they feel insecure and inferior in general, possibly over something that happened in their past for which they had no control at the time. Fearing been seen as powerless and vulnerable, and seeking respect, they try to present a superior and know-it-all attitude.

    They brag about it as a way to prove to others, they are who they want to believe they are.

    I think many of these people are still dissatisfied with themselves and aren't really kidding anyone. They never learned that being nice and kind, does not equal being a doormat, or that being feared does not equal being respected.
     
  11. sunshinehighway

    sunshinehighway DIS Veteran

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    I'm sensing a smirk behind this. Maybe even a glint. :rolleyes1
     
  12. disney1990

    disney1990 <font color=royalblue>Wow, it make my heart skip a

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    The answer is in the question. They are mean!
     
  13. Rylee

    Rylee DIS Veteran

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    The same could be said about you. :p
     
  14. sunshinehighway

    sunshinehighway DIS Veteran

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    Not really. Your post was full of name calling and judgements about people. It just seems funny to me that in a thread about why are people so mean and seem to enjoy it, you post something mean and judgmental to explain.

    Is it ok to be that way but, only to people you think are mean?
     
  15. Poohforyou

    Poohforyou DIS Veteran

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    OP, I'm really not getting what you're saying. Do you not want people to give an honest opinion because it might go against you're thinking? I personally don't just want people to sprinkle me with pixie dust all the time. Imo that isn't being real. Of course I don't want people in my face calling me an idiot either.
     
  16. Jabber_Jaws

    Jabber_Jaws DIS Veteran

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    Wait 1 second. Are you telling us that its okay to be mean, but its wong to brag about it? I only ask, because I remember your " Hahahaha " post when the healthcare law was upheld by the SCOTUS. That was a spike the ball, in your face moment to those who disagreed with the law. I would say that was being mean, and the " Hahaha " sounds like glee to me?

    Pot meet Kettle....
     
  17. mickeysgal

    mickeysgal <font color=blue>Orange you glad I like Knock Knoc

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    Agreed.

    Certainly, there are clearly mean spirited posts on boards, FB, etc.. However, there are posts that have a contrary opinion that is given in the spirit of honesty that is viewed as an attack. Some people post and I truly think they want only responses that agree with them. Some seem to be ultra sensitive and can't take constructive critisim or a contrary observation in the least. Makes me wonder how they cope with life everyday because the world is not filled with people that smile and nod with everything that one says. Typing words on a page often does not give the spirit to which it was intended.

    Although I try to keep the negativity out of my life too, I also don't want anyone sugarcoating anything for me either. If it has to be said, I need it to be said. That doesn't make it "mean" it brings reality to it.
     
  18. Rylee

    Rylee DIS Veteran

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    The OP asked, "Why do people brag about being mean," I answered giving MY OPINION based on MY experiences dealing with people that brag about being mean. I never said, people that brag about being mean, are definitely inferior, insecure, etc., I said I think they feel that way. I do view it as a weakness that they haven't found a more effective way to communicate their needs, and feel because of this, they probably aren't very happy. If anything, I usually feel some sympathy for them because they are often their own worst enemies. IMO, of course.


    <<"Is it ok to be that way but, only to people you think are mean?">>

    Having an opinion on a possible explanation as to why people might behave as they do, does not mean I am treating them in a certain way.

    Honestly, if you are of a different opinion or an expert on the subject, I'm open to hearing it, (obviously, I'm participating in this thread to read what other have to say.) Although, calling out someone for why they think people behave a certain way, seems to be looking for an argument where there isn't one.
     
  19. MIGrandma

    MIGrandma Lives in the middle-of-the-mitten.

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    I never expect everyone to agree with my opinions, but when they disagree in a cruel or nasty manner that is what I take exception to. They can 100% disagree with me, in a civil polite manner and that is totally fine. No problem. Everyone has an opinion, but it's in the delivery of that opinion that makes the difference. Or when they call you an idiot, or ignorant, just because your opinion differs, that's ridiculous.

    Some posters here seem to delight in being nasty in their disagreeing with another poster, whether it be myself or anyone. I've seen them do it time and time again.

    And those that seem to take enjoyment from taking digs at others about previous posts too. That is so childish, and can be seen as being "mean" and/or "nasty" as well.

    It amazes me that some posters here bother to dig into people's past posts and bring up so much information about them. What is the point in that, really? :confused3 I might remember something that was discussed, but I tend to forget who said it. I just don't really care enough to pay that much attention I guess. But when these posters constantly dredge things up, and do it just to make fun of and mock others, it is definitely mean. I just don't see what "fun" that could be, but I guess some enjoy it. :rolleyes2
     
  20. sunshinehighway

    sunshinehighway DIS Veteran

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    Well I'm sure many people who are thought of as being mean are just expressing their opinions as well.

    I don't see people "bragging" about being mean. I do see posters with strong, thought out opinions (like yours) or unpopular opinions and those are often interpreted as mean. I also see posters who seem smug, not outright bragging about being mean.

    I interpreted your post to be in the spirit of what the op was talking about. Maybe posters are just trying to express their opinions but its interpreted as mean because of the delivery or the way someone reads it.
     
  21. 2girls4me

    2girls4me DIS Veteran

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    On another website I post on we use the expression "Internet balls". I'm sure there are people that are mean, blunt IRL! But everyone can be mean on the 'net.
     

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