I think if you have very little one that will find it difficult to sit through a meal the BBQ is better, as you are seated at picnic tables in an outdoor screened in pavillion. It' would give them some walking around time..and they wouldn't be bothering anyone. Lots of up and down for line dancing and character meeting. We had a good time...although my daughter was 13 at the time and thought it was lame. The then 9 year old liked it.
The HDDR is good for ages ....although there is no character involvement, but it is pretty funny. I've seen it twice. While it's good, it can get pretty expensive, depending on how many tickets you need to purchase of course.
I'm not a fan of tier seating. Seems to get a seat on the first floor near the stage(where we sat the first time we saw it..isn't even an option to those using the dining plan)