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What would you do with this day?

I don't think any of your options are bad: DHS, extra MK day or adding days to your tickets and do both. That's why you're having trouble deciding - they're all good options.

FWIW - I don't love DHS and there's not much for us to do here anymore. That said, my daughter is 13 and we have seen the shows and don't care to do them again. With your kids' ages, and having not experienced any of the shows, I see how you could have an enjoyable day there. Like a PP, my daughter liked Star Tours at that age. She didn't know anything about Star Wars, but she liked it. She also liked Voyage of the Little Mermaid and the Beauty and the Beast show. She also liked the Indy stunt show. She did NOT enjoy TOT. :scared1:

MK, on the other hand: We have seen and done most everything, and we still like to do 2 days there. With you spending one of your days (at least partially?) on a tour, I can see where another day could really come in handy.

I would make the best decision you can, but then know that you can change your mind when you get there. I know FP+ makes this difficult. I would think it would be easier to find some decent FPs last minute at MK, rather than DHS. So, I might plan on a DHS day, make my FPs there, and then if the kids want to do MK instead, change FPs and take my chances. We were last there Thanksgiving week and we got TONS of stuff accomplished just by getting there at rope drop. Except for SDMT, we really did not even need our FPs. I'm talking at least 10 rides (I think it was more) before lunch. I am a big proponent of rope drop. Rides are walk-on for a few glorious hours, and then the gridlock starts to set in.

As far as adding days, jolene63 makes a good point. You don't have to spend ALL day in a park. On our last trip, we did one evening at DHS - Thanksgiving night. We did TSMM, Star Tours, had dinner at the Brown Derby and saw Osborne Lights. Might not seem worth burning the park ticket, but with multi-day tix, the incremental price for each additional day is low. It was a nice night. You could do something similar with booking 3 FP rides, seeing a show or 2 and then Fantasmic.

Hope this helps!
 
What about letting the DH sleep in and thou going to DHS early and meeting up with him later? Otherwise, you will miss valuable park time, especially if this is a once trip

We're staying off-site, so there would be no way of meeting up. None of us will be at the park early, too late a night beforehand. We don't care if we see every show, basically just Frozen Sing a Long, Indiana Jones and Beauty & The beast, so we can easily see those three with an afternoon arrival.
 
Well we have just added two days to our trip, DH has decided he doesn't want to spend July 3 & 4 traveling the highway home :) so, we'll be doing HS for sure. Since we only have the 5-day passes thus far (we'll be adding more days when we get there), I took your advice and dropped a FP+. Though instead of AK (we LOVE the times we got, don't want to lose those) we dropped our FP+ for our first Epcot day (Test Track and Spaceship earth). I feel like between RD and DAS we can handle those two rides fine.

For HS, we were able to get FP+ for TSMM twice!!!!! (Made two reservations for 3 people, out of our party of six), and then Indiana Jones and Frozen Sing a Long.
 

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