We are that family.

[Duckiedee]

just venting.

My 5-year-old son has been a nightmare the whole start of the trip. Had to leave our first day of MK early today he was so defiant.

He is normally not like this. But he's been a little demon for the trip down and out for the little bit of touring before the parks.

I'm so gutted. He is spoiling the trip for all of us. My husband has lost all patience and is regretting the trip. My daughter is missing out.

It's not like we've stayed too long. It's starting when he gets up and going until we get home.

I hope he straightens out soon.

We need an alternate plan.

 

[Disneylover99]

Maybe Kids club? Or in room babysitting?

 

[wilkeliza]

Any chance he is sick. I know my nephew is an angel unless he is sick then he can be very hard to handle.

 

[here757]

There is already a "we are that family" thread... And it's FUNNY

 

[Ensusieasm]

just venting.

My 5-year-old son has been a nightmare the whole start of the trip. Had to leave our first day of MK early today he was so defiant.

He is normally not like this. But he's been a little demon for the trip down and out for the little bit of touring before the parks.

I'm so gutted. He is spoiling the trip for all of us. My husband has lost all patience and is regretting the trip. My daughter is missing out.

It's not like we've stayed too long. It's starting when he gets up and going until we get home.

I hope he straightens out soon.

We need an alternate plan.

Get him an in room babysitter and take your daughter to the parks and have fun. He's just not into the Disney experience. Leave him home with grandparents for future Disney trips.

 

[Duckiedee]

Any chance he is sick. I know my nephew is an angel unless he is sick then he can be very hard to handle.

I don't think he's sick. But it's his first real trip and I wonder if he is testing boundaries. It is so not fun though. I'm exhausted. And it's the Stress he's causing. We have wrangled and timed him out more times in the last couple of days than in the last several months. I don't know this kid.

 

[wilkeliza]

I don't think he's sick. But it's his first real trip and I wonder if he is testing boundaries. It is so not fun though. I'm exhausted. And it's the Stress he's causing. We have wrangled and timed him out more times in the last couple of days than in the last several months. I don't know this kid.

Totally makes sense. Hope tomorrow is better. You may be right that he is testing boundries. Just sucks for everyone else.

 

[JessicaW1234]

Totally makes sense. Hope tomorrow is better. You may be right that he is testing boundries. Just sucks for everyone else.

How long is your trip? As much as you won't want to do it, maybe you need to leave him behind (even for an hour)(maybe w/DH?) so he can see you really mean it. Then you can use that as the bar for next time, and he will know to stop.
I know it's hard, because you want to enjoy it too, and it's not as good without everyone.

 

[loves to dive]

Have a short amount of time, a hour, 2 hours, 1/2 day that is dad/son - mom/daughter time. Ya'll go off without the smelly men and do girl things and let them do guy things. I imagine some alone time with Dad just might straighten him out, it certainly did with my brothers. I was a single mom to a little boy and he could have those moments when I just knew if I didn't kill him it would be a miracle. I had nowhere to hide but when at WDW if he got to be that kid, we would just leave and go back to the resort, no swimming, no cartoons. That's hard to do with a family and you certainly don't want to punish your daughter.

 

[Gorechick]

Take him to a time out in the baby care center. Every park has one. Tell him babies don't know how to follow directions, if he can't follow directions and behave then he can sit in the baby care center instead of have fun in the park. Granted one parent will have to take him, but just might work after actually seeing it's a real place in the park. Threatened my two with that on our last trip and didn't have to use it.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

What kinds of things is he doing? When did your vacation start? Are you sticking to his normal sleep/wake/ eating routines?

 

[jvz82]

Could you separate and have one parent with your son and one with your daughter? You could do some lower stimulation stuff with your son and he may behave better getting one on one attention. What exactly is he struggling with?

We went to Disney when my son was almost 5 and we had some really bad moments. Huuuge meltdown on our first ride of the day, Aladdin's magic carpet ride, because he wanted to sit by his cousin but his cousin wanted to sit with his mom. He had to sit out the first ride of the day because of a damn tantrum! Then later he had a gigantic meltdown in line for Ariel and we just could not calm him down so my husband had to actually leave with him out a back exit into an alley. At animal kingdom, he started a family feud (unintentionally of course) by trying to hit his other cousin and my brother (the cousin's dad) freaked out at him, causing me to go all mama bear on my brother. It was maybe a year later that my son was diagnosed with high functioning autism (not that I am in anyway suggesting that is the case for your son, just sharing my story!) and clearly he was just way disregulated at Disney. Knowing what I know now, we would have given him way more one on one time because I do think that would have helped him regulate a little better to be away from other family members and getting more individual attention. Honestly, Disney is just so ridiculously overstimulating for kids that I think it can bring out behaviors we've never seen before.

 

[megster1123]

Only you know what your child will respond to.

For us, with our 4 & 5 year olds, they went through a phase a couple months ago where they were downright rotten. We considered cancelling our trip to visit family in Georgia but it was just too late. We left and they were awful. They were absolutely defiant - just acted without any regard to consequence. Like you said, we didn't know those kids.

So...we used the neighbor. Bob. We told them if they continued to act like that we would call Bob and he would come get them, drive them home and they'd have to stay with Bob until we came home. Hahahaha they laughed...until they acted out...and I picked up my phone and called Bob. Then nothing. Zip. Little angels. Especially when they heard Bob answer. Granted, I walked away and just chatted with Bob for a minute while they watched, mouths hanging open and when I returned I was blessed with the lovely kiddos that I'm used to. Smiles. Manners. Over the course of the next few days I needed a few more Bob calls, but it's like they turned on a dime when they thought their time had come.

Not saying this is the right approach for you or for anyone else, but it worked for my kids.

 

[Duckiedee]

Thanks for all the suggestions. Yes, of course he's off any routine. But we've been practicing it successfully all summer in anticipation for this trip.

I'm not sure it's all Disney. He was a butt head starting at the airport, and at the resort as well. During meals we've had to time him out several times. He's just a nutcase. Lol. Not really lol.

Love the ideas of the baby centre and splitting up. Tomorrow it is DHS and we have six hours between lunch and supper. So he might be coming back to the hotel room with one of us. Maybe we could try separating in the park to salvage some time though.

Hoping leaving the park today and tossing the sword in the trash he got from CRT that he poked one too many people with and kept defiantly taking from the stroller after it was put away will make him see we do mean business.

He also went to Pirates League with sis, so he does have a second sword - I'm not a complete monster... But man! What a bugger he was!

When we came with just our daughter last time when she was 5, it WAS a magical time. I want some magic for him! Why is he being such a weirdo!

 

[BlueHippo]

It always feels like around that age we have a lot of meltdowns early in the trip (day 1 and 2). I think it's sensory over load and exhaustion... not as much stroller napping as the slightly younger crowd might do. Every time we've gone through it at that age they've been back to their old selves after those first few days. Hope things get better!

 

[Aimros]

Could he be homesick? Maybe a bit young for that, but when I was a kid I would act out when I was feeling anxious about missing home.

 

[Jonas_Swe]

just venting.

My 5-year-old son has been a nightmare the whole start of the trip. Had to leave our first day of MK early today he was so defiant.

He is normally not like this. But he's been a little demon for the trip down and out for the little bit of touring before the parks.

I'm so gutted. He is spoiling the trip for all of us. My husband has lost all patience and is regretting the trip. My daughter is missing out.

It's not like we've stayed too long. It's starting when he gets up and going until we get home.

I hope he straightens out soon.

We need an alternate plan.

I have a tip that has worked for my nieces and nephews (when in that age +/-).

Like has been mentioned here it could be a way of testing boundaries and also an anxiety of not being in normal routines. Everyone is there with him, but something is different and with parents in "vacation mode" to make everything the best it can be for the kids, is all in the best of lovingly intent. But some children are more sensitive to minute changes in attitudes, behavior or general mood.

Having breakfast like you do in the morning will be different on vacation when Mom and Dad are one step ahead already planning to get to the parks. For example...

So what I have tried with the kids in my family, is to take the child super serious (not saying you don't - but you get the approach here) and sit down and ask What Do You Want To Do? A five year old might come up with anything, you probably know that already. But if you can split (DH, DD one way and You, DS - or either way you prefer) for just a while, do that and pay 100% attention to exactly what he wanted.

- Let's say it is to buy an Ice Cream. Go all in and really Buy That Ice Cream. Let him pick it out, pay for it himself if possible and sit aside from everything else enjoying it. Make it an event that He Owns to the fullest - from wish to execution!

That should help him regain some sense of control again, and if he responds to that I am sure that he's in the perfect age to start making his own fond memories that will last a lifetime!

And perhaps one day while talking about the childhood vacations he'll mention that time when just He got to share that moment (ice cream or whatever) at Disney with you (or Dad)!

 

[Gracie09]

Have you asked him what he wants to do? My dd1 was whining one day at the parks and finally I just well what do you want to do? She wanted to go swimming at the resort. Okay. So we did and she was happy. We adjusted our schedule so that she got an hour or so a day pool time. Knowing she had that at the end of the day made her a much happier child. Could we swim at home sure. But that is what she wanted to do on her vacation. So we did

 

[Aliceacc]

Here's the thread someone else referred to: http://www.disboards.com/threads/we-were-that-family.1938422/

Read it and know that we've ALL been "that family."

Hang in there. On our first trip, my son was terrified of the characters-- incredibly afraid that one would pop out of nowhere and frighten him. What helped a little was giving him his sister's stroller to push; it acted as a barrier against any characters he might come across.

 

[Minnesota!]

I have been there. My kids are generally really well behaved on vacation, but always, at some point in the trip, I threaten to leave them behind.

I am sorry he is being such a pain in the ****.

The one thing that has consistently worked for us is splitting up - I take one, husband takes one. My kids egg each other on, so being apart helps. Then, that kid gets 100% of the attention. I let that kid lead what we are going to do. Bench surf? Sounds good to me. BTMRR in an hour stand by line? Sounds good. As long as they get to pick, they feel in control for a bit.

Maybe send him to the Kids Club one night? A few hours of hanging with new friends, doing just normal kid stuff, might be good for you all.

A lot of times, my kids just want some swimming or mini golfing. Away from the parks and noises and crowds. And, it does us all wonders.

I hope the rest of the trip can be salvaged.