Was your 4 year old scared?

[disneypolybride2008]

Hi, i'm quite worried about my DD3, she'll be 4 in 3 months, and our trip is in 6 months. We just took her yesterday to an indoor trampoline park where all she did was freak out and cry/scream. I took her out and talked and calmed her down. She said she wanted to go back in, but then the same thing happened so we left. Then she had a tantrum getting in the van, getting in her seat, and then finally calmed down. (Later she said that a kid came by her and made her bounce and scared her) DH said didn't you say she did that in Chuck-e-Cheese? I said yes, and that was late last summer, she walked in and refused to do anything and cried. I got her to calm down so we could atleast take a photo and then we left. She did this again at Culvers last summer when i sat down with ice cream for us, she just started crying and having a fit. Now when she was 2 she was great, we went and did a lot of travel! This crying thing has been for age 3. "terrible 3's" i suppose.

This all has me worried about our disney trip in 6 months: getting on the plane, take-off, landing, riding their bus, riding the resort boat (I asked her about it, and she said i don't want to go on the boat because it may tip over), riding the monorail, and riding the rides at Disney. Geez, should i just cancel it? DH said his vacation days won't roll over, so we'll lose them and i'll miss out going to Disney. I said she can stay home w/ DH and me and the baby will go, but doubt DH will go for that.

So how was your 4 year old? Any tips with this kind of kid? I tried showing and explaining things and how it is fun, and pointing out that everyone else is having fun, doing it together, but she can just get in her own freaked out state.

 

[DopeyDame]

Are you able to figure out what it is that's setting her off? Just general over-stimulation? I can totally see her being afraid by the big kids jumping on the trampoline, and that wouldn't really mean anything in relation to a WDW trip.
Kids grow and change A LOT in 6 months. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old, and my 6 year old was challenging at 3. By the time he hit 4, he was generally a delightful little guy. Right now, I wouldn't worry too much about it (certainly don't cancel anything!) but see if you can figure out what's triggering this reaction and work on finding ways to calm her quickly.

 

[ajwolfe]

My kids never acted like this either at Disney or local attractions, so I'm not going to be too much help. But I am curious if you ask her what is making her freak out and cry? Is she just throwing a tantrum or does she not like being in crowds? How does she do in a regular store, the zoo, restaurants on a normal basis? I would be trying to find out what the root of the problem was.

 

[kat_lh]

Show her lots of stuff on youtube. My 6 year old is rather timid and so we've watched tons of videos and now she's really excited about everything, even the more grown up rides.

 

[disneypolybride2008]

When we went to the store she was fine, excellent actually because i told her if she cries she's not going again. That worked! We looked at the trampoline place online but once there i guess it was too much. There were a lot of kids. However the parts i took her had only a few kids, mostly her age! She said she was scared b/c a kid came by and it made her bounce. -that is what freaked her out the first time. Then when she went in for a second try, we went to another area w/ balls to throw and there were 3 other tiny tots her age on the other side. She stood there and wanted to go for the purple ball but one step on the trampoline section and she started to whine, so i got the ball for her, then she freaked out so we walked over to the edge where it doesn't move. She said, "i want to go over there.." but then freaked out and screamed and cried, i said we are on the gray part, it does not move. Everything is ok, and i rubbed her back as we walked out.

Hopefully she changes for the better in 6 months time. She will cry if she's upstairs when the laundry is on, didnt want to play outside b/c of the bugs, is scared of wind, scared of the vacuum, whines about not being able to get into her carseat -yet she can. I asked her about Disney and she said she won't be scared. I said well they have boats, planes, rides, buses, and it's all supposed to be fun. She said, 'well i will be scared of the boat b/c it may tip over." and then she said later that she probably will be scared to be real high in the sky (in the plane), oh boy! At the local zoo/park she was too afraid to go down the kiddie slide, it was new and she climbed up there to go on it and turned around crying. -no other kids around either. She's scared of other slides at the park unless i go with her, but she'll go on the baby slides. She wasn't afraid of the zoo animals, we'll see this year.. we haven't gone yet. She was afraid to go on the slide and tunnels at Chuck-e-cheese and wouldnt go with me either. (when she was 2 we did and she had fun!), she is afraid of trains (we can hear the horn inside our house and she covers her ears). we just talked about that again, why it does it and it is being helpful to cars. She is scared of ambulance/firetruck sirens when in our house (live near a firehouse, somewhat near)

Last trip she was afraid of peter pan b/c it was in the dark but otherwise did fine, except for freaking out about the carousel

 

[msmama]

I wouldn't have taken my 3 year old for all the money in the world. He was pretty much a disaster at that age.

But, he was much better at 4.

The great thing about Disney is it's a great trip for whatever kind of traveller you are. You may just have to adjust YOUR expectations. If she doesn't like rides, there's plenty of other stuff to do. If she doesn't like shows, still more stuff to do. Maybe she'll enjoy the pool at the resort the most.

My son had sensory issues and got overwhelmed easily. I found a stroller with a good sunshade a lifesaver. He could pull the shade down over himself and have some quiet time while we walked from place to place.

Good luck!

 

[ShayBells]

Honestly last year at 5 and 4 my DS hates the plane but to me it's worth the complaining of 2 hours to get to disney. I usually just keep him uber entertained. My phone, his Nabi, coloring, toys, anything to get his mind off of it.

As for rides he's always scared until he gets on than he loves them. Maybe with your little girl it might be more of the people around her and if it is than rides might be different. Have you taken her to a park close to home something with kiddie rides to see how she does?

You know her best but maybe if you can find why she freaks out in those situations you can see if disney would be the same and count the costs vs the happiness/tantrums.

 

[brittamouse]

We went to WDW in the Fall of 2013 and Spring of 2014 with my DD, who was 3 & 3.5 (respectively) during these trips. Both were great times but we definitely took it easy (making trips back to the hotel for naps and cancelling dinner reservations if necessary.) We did notice a big difference in her confidence and ability to enjoy the trip when she was 3.5 (only six months later). During our fall trip, she was easily overwhelmed and terrified of most of the characters. When we went in the spring, it was like Minnie and Daisy were her best friends and she couldn't get enough of the tea cups or Barnstormer.

Sooooo, I wouldn't give up yet She may come along way before the trip - the "threes" were ridiculously dramatic for us. You mentioned a baby, so if that's a fairly new addition perhaps thats part of the tantrums. I agree with the PP and suggest trying to familiarize (and get her excited) about the trip through YouTube videos or the Disney travel DVD. Also, maybe if you know a few kids (family or friends) who have travelled to Disney, perhaps they could talk to her about what to expect (especially those things she is scared of).....a little bit of healthy peer pressure/influence so to speak. Its one thing to hear these things from mom, but another when its coming from another kid.

Good luck....I think in the end she may surprise you

 

[RoosMama]

My DD had the same "scared of everything" phase at the end of 2. And I had the same worry, because it was just before going on our WDW trip. Halloween was what set her off - she didn't like anything remotely creepy, and from that she became scared of everything, including the playground next to our house that she goes on all the time. I just kept being comforting, but encouraging her to try everything. One thing that helped was not forcing her to do any of it, but not leaving either. She would usually try whatever was scaring her after a while. Also, having a friend do whatever she was scared of helped. Eventually it wore off, and she was fine for our trip.

 

[Camshell]

Hi, i'm quite worried about my DD3, she'll be 4 in 3 months, and our trip is in 6 months. We just took her yesterday to an indoor trampoline park where all she did was freak out and cry/scream. I took her out and talked and calmed her down. She said she wanted to go back in, but then the same thing happened so we left. Then she had a tantrum getting in the van, getting in her seat, and then finally calmed down. (Later she said that a kid came by her and made her bounce and scared her) DH said didn't you say she did that in Chuck-e-Cheese? I said yes, and that was late last summer, she walked in and refused to do anything and cried. I got her to calm down so we could atleast take a photo and then we left. She did this again at Culvers last summer when i sat down with ice cream for us, she just started crying and having a fit. Now when she was 2 she was great, we went and did a lot of travel! This crying thing has been for age 3. "terrible 3's" i suppose.

This all has me worried about our disney trip in 6 months: getting on the plane, take-off, landing, riding their bus, riding the resort boat (I asked her about it, and she said i don't want to go on the boat because it may tip over), riding the monorail, and riding the rides at Disney. Geez, should i just cancel it? DH said his vacation days won't roll over, so we'll lose them and i'll miss out going to Disney. I said she can stay home w/ DH and me and the baby will go, but doubt DH will go for that.

So how was your 4 year old? Any tips with this kind of kid? I tried showing and explaining things and how it is fun, and pointing out that everyone else is having fun, doing it together, but she can just get in her own freaked out state.

I have a kid with sensory avoidant behaviours and diagnosed anxiety issues. This could be a real sensory processing and anxiety issue for your daughter that goes beyond what would be considered normal for this age. We took our son to Disney at 2.5 and at 5 with these issues. He did okay but you need to manage the expectations of what rides or experiences you may have. We had to bail out of the stretching room at the Haunted Mansion when he started to have a panic attack. We managed to get him on Big Thunder but he said never again after that ride (it's is favourite by the way now years later). He became non-responsive, turned into a "statue", and would not move in Goofy's Bounce House (Disneyland). We had to go in a rescue him. All in all some things worked and others didn't. If you think this is beyond what is normal you might want to talk with your family doctor about getting an assessment. Anxiety issues and sensory issues generally don't go away on their own. You need to develop strategies and parenting techniques to help your child deal with these real issues. Good luck as you navigate this

 

[worm761]

My DD is 5 and half. We took her to Disney at 4.5 yrs old last summer. Like your DD, my DD hates loud noises. Any loud noise with the exception of music. That being said, she was afraid of all the rides at Disney. And I mean all. She cried through the entire Little Mermaid ride. Now, she will tell you how fun that ride is but she did cry the entire time. So we adjusted our trip to fit her needs. We have been to Disney many times and plan to go many more. This was our most relaxed trip. We visited characters and watched shows and we all had a ton of fun.

 

[sweetnjmom]

We took my son to WDW 18 months ago when he was 4 and he did very well, overall. There were many rides that he wouldn't go on and he FREAKED OUT on Small World (hated it ... we are not going back on that one!). But he LOVED meeting characters and seeing shows and Animal Kingdom was his favorite park (he loves animals). We followed his cues. There is SO much to do at WDW that doesn't involve loud noises or dark places. We had noise-cancelling ear muffs for the parades. He missed the fireworks because he fell asleep (they were too late for him). We're going back this weekend--he's 5-1/2 now--and I expect he'll do a lot more. But he had so much fun at 4. He truly believed all the characters were real.

 

[Angc77]

I took one of my daughter's when she was four, but she really is fearless. She was more upset that she was too short to ride some of the rides. I agree with a prev poster to try and watch videos esp of rides and shows before you go. I did this with my kids before our first trip and they loved it. Maybe try going to some smaller type venues that have character, rides and smaller crowds to get her more used to this. And in 6 months maybe she will be able to enjoy the parks. Good luck!

 

[Habbott]

It takes my son awhile to warm up to new places. Chuck e cheese was one of those places. In fact, we went to a chuck e cheese bday party a month or two before we went to Disney in February and it was a disaster. He freaked out at the character, who did happen to touch him. But, we watched you tube videos of rides, looked at costumed characters, and he said he would be okay.

And he was! We did three character meals (which was huge for us). He got up and actually hugged characters! He refused to wait in line to see them in the parks, but he no longer walked as far away from them as possible. He really did do great at Disney. My shy and timid kid was so excited for roller coasters and doing lots of new things. I don't think he freaked out once.

 

[canadiandisneymommy]

When my son was two, he would never get on the rides on our local fairs or theme parks. We took him to Disney when he was two and three and he loved it. It's Disney! We showed him lots of videos on youtube of the rides to get him excited and so he would know what to expect. The plane ride was two hours; he was good on the way there and cried on the way back but our flight was delayed and he was really tired. We brought an ipad on the plane and that helped to entertain him.

 

[blackpearl77]

I agree- watch all the rides on youtube. We did that and I think it helped. Although mine is super scared of fireworks and when he was 2 would scream and cry and run away! For this trip, now that he's going to be 5, I showed him the mnsshp fireworks on youtube and he looked at me and said I didn't know they played music with them? And he was fine. Though I'm sure it will be different in person. (He has his headphones to wear.) Just have her take her time and maybe she'll see all the other kids going that she'll want to. A lot can change in 6 months - they grow/mature so much! I was scared of everything when I was little - I was even deathly frightened of Cinderella at Disney and Cinderella was my favorite movie! And I found the rides I liked and loved it. She will be fine and will find something she likes - she may just like being there and watching everything or may take her a day to get used to it - maybe do MK over a couple days. That way she can get used to it. Maybe take the first day and just be at the resort and the pool to ease into it so it's not BAM get off the plane and BAM run to the park over stimuli. She may totally surprise you and love everything!!!

 

[smurphs719]

So many great ideas. We let our 3.5 year old watch lots of youtube videos before we went, so he knew what the deal was on all the rides. He rode everything he was tall enough for except HM. Maybe avoid HM...It was a source of conflict for us. On our first trip he was nervous about characters so I would just lean over to them when I brought him up and say "Please don't touch him, he doesn't like it" and things were fine. This last trip though he was so into he didn't care at all.
Our trick for the plane: dollar store toys. We just bought $20 worth and whenever he looked even mildly uncomfortable a new toy came out of my bag. He was too distracted to care about the plane.

 

[Firsttimer15]

My daughter is the same. I expect her to do almost no rides but I think she will love the special atmosphere.
Maybe schedule some meet the characters, sing a longs and such? Maybe a character breakfast instead?
I think it will be fun for you all if you change your expectations and don't expect to do a lot of rides. Maybe you two can do some in a swap

 

[RMColosimo]

My youngest was fearless (4 years old), my 6 year old was also fearless and rode all the roller coasters with my wife and I. My oldest, 9 at the time, was afraid of everything, and rode space mountain on day one, and that was it, no more roller coasters for her. <sigh>

The one thing I will warn you off from is the crazy Ants thing at Animal Kingdom, can't remember the exact name but there are signs that say it is scary, and boy is it ever scary to some kids. My sisters two kids did not make it through the show, which prompted one of mine to start crying as well. <sigh>

 

[kboo]

My DD is 3yr 8mo and is fairly confident yet timid (I know, it sounds weird) - she got scared on the Goofy roller coaster last year and Peter Pan, and Kali River Rapids the 2nd time, yet she has no problem talking to anyone who will give her the time of day. YouTube videos and talking about the rides will help a lot, but I'd suggest you also have her checked out for sensory processing issues (I'm not diagnosing, just following up on what a PP said) - because even if she doesn't have sensory processing issues, some of the techniques for addressing sensory processing issues might be helpful. WDW is a very stimulating place. I learned the hard way last year that with a week-long trip, we ALL needed a day off from the parks - and this was even with having hours of nap time in the middle of each day. The overstimulation just builds up.