Vow Renewal, so confused, need help!

[Alexsandra]

Hi Everyone,

I am so confused on what to do for my vow renewal. I really need some feedback.

My husband and I would like to renew our vows with our two boys (4 and 7 years old). We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary on June 25th but thinking of having a vow renewal in two year because it will be 20 since we first met!

I am a huge Disney World fan and really like the idea of a Disney wedding renewal. My husband doesn't mind. He said "as long as you're happy, i'm happy!". What a good husband

Since it is a renewal and not an actual wedding, we don't want to spend too much money. My ideal budget for the renewal would be 3,000 but I can go up to $5,000 not incl. wedding attire. We are flying down from montreal Canada so I want something hassle free.

I started looking into DFTW and it is between the Memories package or Escape package. I love Sea Breeze Point as my preferred venue but the Escape package is at the top range of our budget. i kind of wanted to add more photography sessions like a session in MK in our wedding attire ($900) or an extra hour photo session around the resort ($450). The memories package is more in our budget, and we could choose the Polynesian Beach as our venue. I could also order the cake I wanted instead of being limited in the Escape package. I heard that "it's tasty too" makes good cakes and is cheaper than disney.

Ok so what is so complicated? Just book the Memories package at Poly you say! Well this is what is making it hard to decide:

My big hold up is my family. Do we want to invite our families or do we stick to the original plan, just us four?
This has been the hardest decision. At first I wanted only to invite my sister, her husband and my one-year-old nephew. We've been saying that we wanted to travel to WDW together in the near future and I thought it would be special to have her there on this special occasion. Plus it would be fun to spend a week together enjoying WDW. The problem is that my Mom will bully her way into coming (I love my mom but she can be very pushy, and I know for a fact that she will find a way to come). If she and my dad come, then I have to invite my parents-in-law and my husband's brother and wife ('cause if they get wind that I had a vow renewal with only my side of the family, they would be offended). I know, it is enough to drive us mad.
My husband thinks we should just do it alone with our boys. I, however, am still on the fence!

That brings me to my second problem, if we do it with the family then I can only do the Escape package because we would be 12 people and memories only accept 6 people incl. bride and groom. This package is at the top of our budget and we feel it is a little overpriced for what you get. Also the extra photography add-ons would be out of the question and it leaves no wiggle room.

I decided to look for ways around the Disney Wedding and showed them to my husband. I suggested maybe doing it at the Swan or Dolphin for less money but he is really is not interested. He really does not like those venues and finds they are not "Disney" enough (his opinion). "At that point", he said, "we might as well save the money and not do it at Disney"

I then found this venue on a private lake that is 8.9 mile away from Disney. It is called Paradise Cove (http://www.paradisecoveorlando.com). My husband loves it 'cause it has a private beach and is closer to his "beach vow renewal" idea.
It is a really beautiful venue and their packages are much better priced than DFTW:
"ceremony only" packages start at $1,800, at that price you get the venue, the officiant, 1 hr photography, bouquet (of my choice), boutonnière, 20 white folding chairs, music for ceremony. Also there is no limit on guest so could my family and more. They also have packages at $2,100, and $3,600 if you want to add cake and champagne.

I figure the money I would save I could spend staying at a deluxe hotel at WDW (the Poly after renovations) and on photography.

Another option is that i can rent the whole venue for Ceremony and Reception for $1,750 . Since the place is already so beautiful, all I would need a photographer, my flowers and caterer. I contacted some vendors and would be able to have my the full experience for $4,000- $5,000. However this again brings our budget to the max but at least it is a better bang for the buck than the Escape package! At least I could offer a meal to my guests who have travelled from Canada.

Then I thought, well why do we need the whole ceremony thing. Why don't we just hire a photographer, do an in room vow exchange with the kids and then have a big anniversary party in the park like a private illuminations dessert party in Epcot with our families. Spend the money on that instead!

OK see what I mean, i can't make a decision. I am a wreck! Help!

What do you think? Any past experience or tips would be helpful
Thanks

 

[lurkyloo]

Hi!

I think your first decision will probably have to be whether you want lots of people there or just your immediate family. We were pretty sure our families would laugh at the idea of attending a vow renewal only 5 years after our wedding, so we went with just the two of us and a pair of friends.

Then you gotta decide Disney vs. Paradise Cove. Will you feel like you missed out if you don't have the event at Disney? If not, you'll get way more bang for your buck at Paradise Cove.

So I started looking into DFTW and it is between the Memories package or Escape package. I love Sea Breeze Point as my preferred venue but the Escape package is really much more in our budget because we also want to add more photography time. A photo session in the park ($900) or an extra hour photo session around resort ($450) and order a cake from it's tasty too (don,t know price but will assume $150. In the memories package, we would choose the Polynesian Beach as our venue. This brings our total price to Aprox $3500

Although photography is included in the Memories package, you may still find it a better value to hire an outside photographer if you want to do a lot of extra shooting. Some of them have small-wedding packages that cost less than Disney's $450 resort photo session and would include enough time to do a shoot before or after the event. Several of them also offer in-park photo shoots (non-wedding attire only), though you'll definitely need to check because many won't risk Disney's wrath on that score.

Then I though well why do we need the whole ceremony thing. Why don't we just hire a photographer, do an in room vow exchange with the kids and then have a big anniversary party in the park like a private illuminations dessert party in Epcot with our families. Love that idea too!

I gotta say, IllumiNations dessert parties are my favorite! We've done a few and always enjoyed them: http://disneytravelbabble.com/how-to/private-party/

Maybe if you keep percolating on these ideas, envisioning what each would be like, a clear winner will emerge...

 

[MOpGrad2013]

Can't help in regards to the destination or packages...

We have been married 20 years. Our wedding took place on lunch break by a local new age officiant. Only folks there--his parents, roommates and some random folks in the area.

Fast forward 9 years and we had our church vows. Kids were there, as well as both sets of parents.

Another 7 years go by and on St Valentine's Day, our church held a special vow renewal ceremony. And dinner.

All said and done, the vows are between you and your husband. The special ceremony had a part where we had vows to our family. I think that was what made that one very memorable. Then we had photographer.

I agree with PP regarding that you should determine if you want extended family there. Then set the budget. This is your dream...Maybe what you really want is an officiant, simple pictures and then dinner. Or, it may be the big dress and everything that goes with it.

 

[RobynPrincess]

I would totally go with your last option, in room ceremony. It doesn't have to be in the room you could hire out some DVC points, get a pretty view and do it on the balcony. Think about the boardwalk in the background... Get pics in the room and then outside on the beach area of the beach club.

 

[Alexsandra]

Hi!

I think your first decision will probably have to be whether you want lots of people there or just your immediate family. We were pretty sure our families would laugh at the idea of attending a vow renewal only 5 years after our wedding, so we went with just the two of us and a pair of friends.

Then you gotta decide Disney vs. Paradise Cove. Will you feel like you missed out if you don't have the event at Disney? If not, you'll get way more bang for your buck at Paradise Cove.

Although photography is included in the Memories package, you may still find it a better value to hire an outside photographer if you want to do a lot of extra shooting. Some of them have small-wedding packages that cost less than Disney's $450 resort photo session and would include enough time to do a shoot before or after the event. Several of them also offer in-park photo shoots (non-wedding attire only), though you'll definitely need to check because many won't risk Disney's wrath on that score.

I gotta say, IllumiNations dessert parties are my favorite! We've done a few and always enjoyed them: http://disneytravelbabble.com/how-to/private-party/

Maybe if you keep percolating on these ideas, envisioning what each would be like, a clear winner will emerge...

Ok first let me tell you that I am a huge fan of yours. Been following your site for years now. So much helpful information. It is actually your wedding and your dessert parties in disney that have made me wish to renew my vows at Disney. I actually loved your pictures so much, i just contacted Roots photography a few days ago to a get a quote for my pictures. I am still shopping around though.

My family will laugh at me for having a vow renewal at disney but they already laugh at me for being such a fan so it has become kind of an inside joke. Now at their birthdays, i always get them Mickey b-cards. lol

I think i always dreamed of doing a big party will all my family however it think it sounds better than it would really be. Actually, after writing all this out, it helped me sort it out. iI think I don't really want the whole family there. it would just add too much stress and I would have to compromise too much on my already tight budget to accommodate them, Really, I just wish it could be my sister. I am close to her and I wanted my little one year old nephew to participate too but I can't see how I could break it to my Mom that she is not invited. I think in the end we should just do something small me, my husband and kids.

I did not know I could bring a photographer in the parks with me. I don't care about the dress. I prefer having my kids involved in the shoot. That would be cool.

I really find paradise cove beautiful. Maybe I could do ceremony at paradise cove and do a private dessert party! That way I have my cake and eat it too, literally! Hihi

 

[Alexsandra]

I would totally go with your last option, in room ceremony. It doesn't have to be in the room you could hire out some DVC points, get a pretty view and do it on the balcony. Think about the boardwalk in the background... Get pics in the room and then outside on the beach area of the beach club.

That is true! I did not think of that. Maybe can do a 2 bedroom villa or suite somewhere special for a couple of nights and have vow renewal and cake there. Love the pics on the beach club beach and boardwalk idea! Something to think about for sure!

 

[Alexsandra]

I would totally go with your last option, in room ceremony. It doesn't have to be in the room you could hire out some DVC points, get a pretty view and do it on the balcony. Think about the boardwalk in the background... Get pics in the room and then outside on the beach area of the beach club.

Cool idea

 

[Alexsandra]

I would totally go with your last option, in room ceremony. It doesn't have to be in the room you could hire out some DVC points, get a pretty view and do it on the balcony. Think about the boardwalk in the background... Get pics in the room and then outside on the beach area of the beach club.

I did not think of that. What a great idea! Imagine on the balcony at AKL in front of Savana. But I love the idea of pictures on Boardwalk and at Beach Club. I got married in Ogonquit Maine. The Beach club has that New England charm that reminds me of our special day 10 years ago. Plus I really would like to have a separate bedroom from the kids. Definitely something to think about. I will look into it! Thanks

 

[Alexsandra]

What the... Sorry about that. My reply did not work each time so I kept starting over and I ended replying 3 times. Lol

 

[MrsDuck]

Then I thought, well why do we need the whole ceremony thing. Why don't we just hire a photographer, do an in room vow exchange with the kids and then have a big anniversary party in the park like a private illuminations dessert party in Epcot with our families. Spend the money on that instead!

I understand your dilemma!

DH and I got married at the Swan in 2012 but are thinking about a 5 year VR. We've bounced back and forth like you have but always have come back to the idea I left from your OP.

IF it were me, I would either do Memories with just the 4 of you or the idea above... It really just depends on how much the actual ceremony means to you!

 

[lurkyloo]

I did not know I could bring a photographer in the parks with me. I don't care about the dress. I prefer having my kids involved in the shoot. That would be cool.

I really find paradise cove beautiful. Maybe I could do ceremony at paradise cove and do a private dessert party! That way I have my cake and eat it too, literally!

Ooh! I like that idea! And I'm so glad you've found my site helpful! The photo shoot in the parks thing is iffy. The Roots don't do it anymore because it makes Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings grumpy, and they have to work with them all the time. But there are other photographers who have no qualms about it. If you did an in-park event like a dessert party, though, you could bring the Roots cuz it's official.

 

[Alexsandra]

After discussing it with my husband he really just prefers if it's just us four. It seems to be only me with the reservations of not sharing the day with my family. My husband says he will be happy no matter what but it is clear that he prefers something more intimate. We discussed it further and in the end narrowed it down to 3 options that we both felt comfortable with. Now all I have to do is choose one:

Option 1.We stay at one of Disney's deluxe resorts or villas. We have the Vow renewal just us four in the room. Order a small cake and hire photographer for pics around the resort. Then go have a nice dinner together, watch fireworks.

Option 2. We stay at a moderate resort. We invite the whole family to our vow renewal: Mom & dad on both sides, with his brother and my sister and their families (12 people in all including us.) We have the ceremony at Paradise Cove. Then meet up later that evening at a restaurant or organize a dessert party with a cake.

3. We have a private vow renewal just us four (Memories package or in room, have not decided yet). A few days later would have our family join us at Disney. We would organize a private dessert party to celebrate the occasion.

What do you think?

 

[Alexsandra]

Ooh! I like that idea! And I'm so glad you've found my site helpful! The photo shoot in the parks thing is iffy. The Roots don't do it anymore because it makes Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings grumpy, and they have to work with them all the time. But there are other photographers who have no qualms about it. If you did an in-park event like a dessert party, though, you could bring the Roots cuz it's official.

We could forgo the photo shoot in the park. The resorts are so pretty anyway. I can do a photo shoot on the boardwalk and at BC. It could be more relaxed and playful especially with the kids. I would love if they could also be there for the dessert party! It would make for some pretty stunning pics!

 

[MrsDuck]

I vote option 1 or 3 depending on how you feel!

 

[andeesings]

It IS ultimately up to you, but I like option 3 because it's the intimate vow renewal for him but the sharing with family for you!!! I'm planning a dessert party for my parents for their 40th anniversary (it's a surprise!!) they've got NO IDEA that 20 people will be coming to celebrate or that there's anything going on! Needless to say, I am VERY excited about the surprise!!!

 

[Alexsandra]

It IS ultimately up to you, but I like option 3 because it's the intimate vow renewal for him but the sharing with family for you!!! I'm planning a dessert party for my parents for their 40th anniversary (it's a surprise!!) they've got NO IDEA that 20 people will be coming to celebrate or that there's anything going on! Needless to say, I am VERY excited about the surprise!!!

That is so sweet. What a wonderful surprise! Congrats to them on their 40 years together.

 

[Alexsandra]

So I thought I would share a little update in my plans. I discussed it some more with my husband and we decided to do a vow renewal just us and the kids. That way we can have the freedom to do it where we want, when we want, and stay at the resort we want.
If we invited the family, I would have to organize the whole thing, we would have to stay at the moderate resorts so that everyone could afford the trip and I would feel responsible for everyone enjoyment. This way I just have to concentrate on what is important: the celebration of our union and sharing this moment with our kids.

We will however casually invite the family to join us at WDW a few days later to celebrate our anniversary with a family dinner at a Disney restaurant and/or an Illuminations Dessert Party That way everyone can organize their own vacation, with the travel dates of their choice, stay at the resort they want and they will not feel pressure to come.

The only thing that is still up for debate is if I want to hold the vow renewal at Paradise Cove, or at the Polynesian with DFTW or just do a vow exchange in the room and take pictures around the resorts. Paradise Cove is so much cheeper than DFTW and the location is a so much prettier but DFTW package is hassle free. (Paradise Cove is $700 cheeper and includes officiant). The in-room vow exchange is cool but I don't know if it will feel special enough. It might feel cramped. Either way we know we want to stay at a monorail Resort (most likely at The Poly) so we could easily park hop with the kids. Maybe I should push back my vow renewal date to time it with the opening of the new villas.

Roots photography sent me their price list and we will most probably use them for pictures around the Resort. That way at least I know I will have some beautiful pictures with our boys to mark the occasion.

 

[lurkyloo]

Glad to hear things are starting to come into focus for you!

 

[Alexsandra]

Glad to hear things are starting to come into focus for you!

Thanks! And thanks for all the great suggestions everyone

 

[Alexsandra]

Hi I just wanted to give a little update about what we finally decided to do for our vow renewal.
After shopping around, checking out prices for venues and vendors, and discussing what I really wanted with my husband, I have come to the conclusion that going through Disney Fairytale Weddings was the best option. I was racking my head with all these other ideas, trying to figure out how to cut costs here and there, but in the end, it always ended up costing around the same amount of money as DFTW and I kept feeling disappointed with these choices.

I think I lost sight of what this is all about: exchanging vows once more with my wonderful husband and sharing it with our two beautiful boys.
Plus I lost sight of what I really wanted: to be at Disney, have fun, and to keep it easy and stress free.

It is so easy to get caught up in all the fantasy (dresses, flowers, venue, photography...) and it can become overwhelming. I made the mistake once with my wedding, you would think for the vow renewal I would have learnt my lesson. Oh well, at least I stopped myself in time to rectify it.
I made so many compromises when I got married 10 years ago, because of budget and because of my young age, that I am glad that I can kind of do a do over. My biggest regret when we got married, is that I let my Mom and sister influence me to get a dress I did not like and the fact that my husband and I did not spend some time alone after the wedding finished. We hosted our guests that night and drove back to Montreal the next day.

So this is what we decided to do: We are going to spend the money on us so we are going to treat ourselves to a week at the Polynesian Resort with the kids. We are going to have a Memories Package vow renewal on the Luau Beach. We gave up on the in-room celebration. It was bothering me to sneak around Disney or feel guilty about wearing a wedding dress, plus I did not like the idea of being stuck in the room to share such a special event. We are going to add on a Sand Ceremony with the kids. I am hiring an outside Photographer for the day. Still deciding between the Roots or Kristen Weaver Photography, love both their style. I am going to ask if I could change the Disney 1 hour photography session to an in-park photo shoot and pay the difference. I called DFTW and they told me that it would be up to my wedding planner but that it has been done in the past. If not then I will just have double the photography!
I really wanted a dessert party afterwards but I was told we need to be at least 10 people for that. So I think I will do private dining at the Grand Floridian and order a small wedding cake through them but I am still unsure about the dinner.

Well that is it, thanks for everyone's help.