Update in 1st post-Cancellation question/ long vent/ seeking suggestions

[Princess86]

I wasn't sure where to post this, but since it involves most likely cancelling or post poning our trip (MMW package), I thought this was the best place. I'm a poster in disguise because some people here know me IRL.
I received some great news, my sister is pregnant! Her and her DH have been trying for about 3 years and their 2nd and last IVF worked! Her due date - 2 days after we arrive in DW. We are very close and she specifically told me that she wants me there when the baby is born (not in the room, just shortly afterwards). She never asks for much.
We are travelling down in my IL's RV and it would take a leisurely 24 hours if we don't make any significant stops. When I first heard the news, I had the idea that I would just fly home with my baby once I found out she's in labor. But that is definitely not in our budget, plus I don't really want to leave my family in the middle of a vacation.
Riding down with my in-laws in the RV was going to help tons with our budget. So we don't really have the option of changing it to another week. My husband won't get on a plane. If necessary, we could always drive but we really want to go with my IL's. So if we have to postpone it will most likely have to be a year later.
We saved up for 3 years for this trip. DS (6) isn't really a Disney fanatic, but I know he was looking forward to going on vacation with my young BIL. I know he will be upset but not devestated. He might get really upset when the IL's leave 'without us'.
Sorry for my choppy vent/therapy session. lol Whenever DH and I discuss it, he gets sad and it leads to bickering. I posted here in case anyone had a miracle solution, but I doubt that's possible.

So, that leads me to my questions. Can I change our date to a year later without any penalties? When would I need to change the date by?

Thanks for the free therapy!

UPDATE: I've been meaning to update this but I couldn't remember the login info I and couldn't find this post.
A few months ago I told my sister that I we really wanted to go and asked her what she thought about it. She said we deserved to go and gave us her blessing! I have my fingers crossed that the baby will wait for us! lol I will update again when she has the baby.

FINAL UPDATE: We went on our trip and my sister had her bouncing baby boy 5 days after we got home. . Thx everyone!

 

[danceintherain]

That's a tough one, because you can't predict when a baby is going to come.
She could have the baby well before your trip, or even after you come back.

Cancellation of a package must be done by 45 days before for no penalty. After that you risk losing your deposit. Sometimes they'll waive the fee if you reschedule for later.

You won't really be able to reschedule for next year with a package in most cases. It depends on whether or not the room rates for the following year have been released at the time.

Ultimately, if you've had this trip planned for a long time, then she may be understanding. Personally, I didn't want people around after I had my first baby, but I know other people are different.

 

[AliceIn]

No suggestions, but I had to comment that you are a great sister.

 

[2009CAN]

I'm so happy for your sister! I've been there and it's great that she is PG.
Is there a chance that she's carrying more than one baby? If so, babies will likely come a little early.
If not, I'd move the trip or be prepared to leave Disney at a moment's notice.

 

[letsgoreds]

Congratulations, you are going to be an aunt!

Either plan on not going, and you could book a last minute reservation if your sister has the baby early. You never know, your niece/nephew might be a month old before the start date of your trip. Make the trip a total surprise for DS.

Or change your reservation to a room only reservation, you can always add tickets when you arrive...and can cancel a couple of days out without penalty.

I wouldn't tell your son nor your sister about the possibility of still going. Perhaps still plan on that time off from work, and do a stay-cation if you can't join your inlaws.

I promise a new baby trumps a trip to WDW any day of the week!

 

[sndral]

If you absolutely must not go to WDW because your sister and her husband may have their baby on it's due date and she wants you to visit her in the hospital right after it's birth, then opt out but let your DH and son go w/out you but w/ DH's family.
Did your sister do this for you when you had your children? If so, then I understand your delima, but it's unfair to deprive the rest of your family and your ILs of their hoped for trip w/ their son and grandson, IMO.
Personally I'd have a talk w/ her, explain the situation and plan on going w/ the family to WDW as planned and if she has the baby while you are there then spend time w/ her when you get back (after all it is once you are home w/ a new infant that you need the most help.) Or talk w/ your ILs maybe they can move the trip up or back a month - hopefully something will work out and you can go to WDW and support your sister.

 

[ThisIsTheYear]

You're a great sister.

 

[Dis703]

Personally, I'd have a hard time giving up on a big family trip we planned and saved for 3 years to take on the off chance my sister may deliver on her due date. It rarely happens that they come on their due date and I know I'd be super upset if I canceled everything and she had the baby early or late.

That's a tough one, but for me I'd have to have a heart to heart about it with her. It may be less upsetting to her than you think.

 

[disney2014plan]

If you absolutely must not go to WDW because your sister and her husband may have their baby on it's due date and she wants you to visit her in the hospital right after it's birth, then opt out but let your DH and son go w/out you but w/ DH's family.
Did your sister do this for you when you had your children? If so, then I understand your delima, but it's unfair to deprive the rest of your family and your ILs of their hoped for trip w/ their son and grandson, IMO.
Personally I'd have a talk w/ her, explain the situation and plan on going w/ the family to WDW as planned and if she has the baby while you are there then spend time w/ her when you get back (after all it is once you are home w/ a new infant that you need the most help.) Or talk w/ your ILs maybe they can move the trip up or back a month - hopefully something will work out and you can go to WDW and support your sister.

This.

 

[cruising spud]

A few questions:

Does your sister know about your trip?

Are you going for a week? If you're going for a week or so, you might very well be back before she has the baby.

Could you give this a "fun" twist? "Let's Skype when the baby is born, and if we are gone when the baby is born, I promise you five days of free babysitting?" Maybe also bring back a Disney baby outfit for the baby?

Good luck.

 

[focusondisney]

I wasn't sure where to post this, but since it involves most likely cancelling or post poning our trip (MMW package), I thought this was the best place. I'm a poster in disguise because some people here know me IRL.
I received some great news, my sister is pregnant! Her and her DH have been trying for about 3 years and their 2nd and last IVF worked! Her due date - 2 days after we arrive in DW. We are very close and she specifically told me that she wants me there when the baby is born (not in the room, just shortly afterwards). She never asks for much.
We are travelling down in my IL's RV and it would take a leisurely 24 hours if we don't make any significant stops. When I first heard the news, I had the idea that I would just fly home with my baby once I found out she's in labor. But that is definitely not in our budget, plus I don't really want to leave my family in the middle of a vacation.
Riding down with my in-laws in the RV was going to help tons with our budget. So we don't really have the option of changing it to another week. My husband won't get on a plane. If necessary, we could always drive but we really want to go with my IL's. So if we have to postpone it will most likely have to be a year later.
We saved up for 3 years for this trip. DS (6) isn't really a Disney fanatic, but I know he was looking forward to going on vacation with my young BIL. I know he will be upset but not devestated. He might get really upset when the IL's leave 'without us'.
Sorry for my choppy vent/therapy session. lol Whenever DH and I discuss it, he gets sad and it leads to bickering. I posted here in case anyone had a miracle solution, but I doubt that's possible.

So, that leads me to my questions. Can I change our date to a year later without any penalties? When would I need to change the date by?

Thanks for the free therapy!

Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.

 

[mom2rtk]

I wish your sister the best. We went through years of infertility before finally having the baby we longed for.

That said, I would never ask a family member to reschedule a family trip around a due date. My MOM was set to be out of town when my last one was due and she didn't even offer to change her plans. It's not like your sister wants you to be in the delivery room. The baby won't change much in the course of a week, assuming it even comes on time. Out of my 3 children, only 1 arrived in the week before or prior to the due date. One came 2 weeks early and one came 8 days late. (The other came 3 days early and is still my "easy kid").

I also hate to mention this, because I wish her nothing than the best. Lots of things can happen between the stick turning blue and baby arriving in her arms. Having dealt with that myself, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But please don't change your plans.

 

[Heather1979]

I think you are being a good sister.

But... if there is one thing that being a mom myself has taught me is that your family with your partner/kids has to come before your family of origin. That and babies are unpredictable. As a preemie mom, I can say they like to surprise you.

All in all I think I would have a heart to heart with your sister. I would tell her your situation and I would frame it that you would love to skype from there if the baby arrives during that time (and there is a good chance this would all be moot and baby could be late or a little before then) but that you would be there at any point before or after the trip. And I love the idea of helping out once baby arrives and they are home. I would've loved an offer like that!

 

[MinnieGirl33]

TBH, my husband & kids come before anyone & everyone else. I wouldn't do it.

It sounds like your potential change in plans is/will make them upset & add to it the fact that you have absolutely no way of knowing when your new niece/nephew is going to decide to be born. You could make all these changes for nothing.

If the baby does come while you are away, you will be there for your sister as soon as you get home. Also, if it's that important to her to have you there, maybe she should be paying for you to fly home if necessary.

JM2C. Good Luck.

 

[Sandi]

Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.

I agree with this sentiment. Your sister should understand. Plus, your help will be much more valuable to your sister after they get home. I wouldn't disappoint my husband and child (or in-laws) on the "chance" that my sister might deliver about that time. Let your family get excited for the trip and enjoy the heck out of it. My father-in-law is no longer with us, but I sure wish we could take a trip with him. That vacation will mean a lot to your son, husband, and parents in law. Taking a vacation with your family doesn't make you a bad sister.

 

[DebbieB]

I would leave it as is for now. You can cancel @ 46 days and get a full refund if that's what you choose to do.

 

[smitch425]

Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.

I agree with this 100%. Most people do not deliver on their due date. No way would I cancel a vacation to sit in a hospital waiting room. She doesn't want you in the room for delivery. IMHO, if you aren't special enough to be in the room when the baby is born, then she isn't special enough to drop the rest of your family for her. Don't get me wrong, not saying she doesn't love you because she doesn't want to have you in the room, but with love should come understanding. She should understand that you would be extremely put out to bail on your family on the off chance she goes into labor. Neither of my sisters would ever expect me to dump my family plans for them, just as I wouldn't expect them to dump theirs for me. I say keep the trip on. Odds are good that she will deliver before you leave.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.

Absolutely this! Well said. OP listen to reason and put your own family's needs first. Are you seriously considering upsetting your dh and your 6 year old ds who is so looking forward to this trip to please your sister? You can be happy and supportive of her without putting your own family on the back burner. I totally side with your dh on this and IMHO he is being extremely reasonable even contemplating cancelling. How would you like it if he cancelled something you had been waiting and saving 3 years for because his sister or brother was having a baby?

 

[babyrich]

I think you are a good sister for considering this.

I feel I am a good sister too; but I know my sister is great because she would never ask me or want me to cancel my vacation. She would tell me to see the baby when I return.

 

[Sandi]

I would leave it as is for now. You can cancel @ 46 days and get a full refund if that's what you choose to do.

It's true about the cancellation policy, but not making a decision puts her in-laws and nuclear family in a bit of a bind leaves them hanging. It wasn't clear to me whether the in-laws would drive their RV down if their grandson wasn't coming along. Is the vacation postponed/cancelled for everyone?