Let The Statue Fall
Friday April 11 2003
Orlando (DIS News Service) - As unhappy guests scarf down Dole Whips deep in the heart of Adventureland right before the scheduled 2:00 pm closing time, and members of the Car Three Division, Chicago Brigrade, land at the renamed LandBaron International Airport, the Disney minister of information, Michael Ei$ner, insists that rumors of a Rumors Board presence in the city are false.
"I know inform you that you are too far from reality," said Ei$ner, barely audible over the sounds of the Bradley Fighting Hoovers sweeping up a litter pile not seen in Walt Disney World since angry mobs tore up annual passes in front of the statue of Ei$ner overlooking the SunBank ATM on Main Street when Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was closed down. "There are no Rumors Board infidels in Orlando. Never!"
Many in the parks disagreed as they watched the LandBaron and his family enjoy their day in the parks immensely, but with a careful eye to any 'cutbacks' or omissions of 'show.'
With LandBaron nearby rifling through an entire selection of gifts at one of the ubiquitious shops along Main Street desperately looking for anything un-Plush, Ei$ner stood calmly a couple of hundred yards away, on the roof of Train Station telling guests that none of this was happening. Smiling extra-wide, he said: "Don't repeat the lies of the liars."