Tales from the Supermarket

[LuvsDragonflies]

No, the Dunkin Donut carts are NOT supposed to house your 3 year old on top of the little plastic truck roof. Our floors are cement, you moron. Do you hear the promo that plays every 10 mins that says we equip each cart with a safety belt? That's so you use them instead of letting your child stand in the seat or climb from front to back as they like. Idiot.


No. It is definitely NOT a good idea to let your two year old stand in the back of the shopping cart, holding on for his life with his little stick fingers, as you decide to drop the cart down a 6 inch curb. Yes, the horrified look on my face WAS directed Right. At. You. You have no idea how glad I was when you decided (after, no doubt, seeing the abject HORROR and DISBELIEF on my face right before the attempt) to scoop up said toddler and place him on your hip. I am not sure if I reminded you of your wife or your mother-in-law as I burned holes into your eyes but I hope it made you pee a little. Do you even have a brain in there? Cement. Road. Fractured skull?

Really? Your drooling, sneezing, snotting 8 month old doesn't really want that toy they've been teething and coughing all over throughout the store? Why, thank you. Watch me take it from you with two fingers, while giving a little side-eye (can you blame me?), tossing it into a plastic bag and then sanitizing my hands with some Purell (which may not kill the darned germs anyway, thanks!) Do you really think the sodden mess you handed me should be put back on a shelf for some other unsuspecting child to gnaw on and get your little darlings nasty virus?

Okay. So you see something dripped onto the converyor, first you touch it, they you rub your fingers together with it, then you sniff it, touch it again and then taste it and ask me "what is this"? How the hell would I know? 25 people just loaded up their stuff onto that belt, one after another, until it was finally your turn. It could be anything. My guess, however, would be meat juice. Uncooked meat juice. Maybe you should taste it again and see.

Um...okay Mr. Crazyhair, if you want to put your 50% off "becauseyestheyarethatold" turkey legs up under your shirt instead of in a bag, go for it. Hope you have your receipt.

Little old lady in the hair curlers. Everytime I see you in the store, you're hair is in those curlers. Is it a look? or do you have somewhere really stompin' to go every afternoon, just curious. Thanks for being a little weird, but friendly.

Who did you meet this week?

 

[marmalade]

No, the Dunkin Donut carts are NOT supposed to house your 3 year old on top of the little plastic truck roof. Our floors are cement, you moron. Do you hear the promo that plays every 10 mins that says we equip each cart with a safety belt? That's so you use them instead of letting your child stand in the seat or climb from front to back as they like. Idiot.


No. It is definitely NOT a good idea to let your two year old stand in the back of the shopping cart, holding on for his life with his little stick fingers, as you decide to drop the cart down a 6 inch curb. Yes, the horrified look on my face WAS directed Right. At. You. You have no idea how glad I was when you decided (after, no doubt, seeing the abject HORROR and DISBELIEF on my face right before the attempt) to scoop up said toddler and place him on your hip. I am not sure if I reminded you of your wife or your mother-in-law as I burned holes into your eyes but I hope it made you pee a little. Do you even have a brain in there? Cement. Road. Fractured skull?

Really? Your drooling, sneezing, snotting 8 month old doesn't really want that toy they've been teething and coughing all over throughout the store? Why, thank you. Watch me take it from you with two fingers, while giving a little side-eye (can you blame me?), tossing it into a plastic bag and then sanitizing my hands with some Purell (which may not kill the darned germs anyway, thanks!) Do you really think the sodden mess you handed me should be put back on a shelf for some other unsuspecting child to gnaw on and get your little darlings nasty virus?

Okay. So you see something dripped onto the converyor, first you touch it, they you rub your fingers together with it, then you sniff it, touch it again and then taste it and ask me "what is this"? How the hell would I know? 25 people just loaded up their stuff onto that belt, one after another, until it was finally your turn. It could be anything. My guess, however, would be meat juice. Uncooked meat juice. Maybe you should taste it again and see.

Um...okay Mr. Crazyhair, if you want to put your 50% off "becauseyestheyarethatold" turkey legs up under your shirt instead of in a bag, go for it. Hope you have your receipt.

Little old lady in the hair curlers. Everytime I see you in the store, you're hair is in those curlers. Is it a look? or do you have somewhere really stompin' to go every afternoon, just curious. Thanks for being a little weird, but friendly.

Who did you meet this week?

 

[teller80]

My beef is when the cashier tells the customer the total, and the customer looks totally surprised that they have to pay! So THEN they dig out their checkbook, ask the date, write the name of the store... Ugh, what have you been doing for the last twenty minutes in line??? Puhleez, people, get your act together!!!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I hope it made you pee a little.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

I admit, most of the customers are very nice and we chat a little bit as I boopboop the merchandise, but holy heck, you come across some lulus.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Oh, and if you need to pay with your food stamp card, some cash and then a debit card along with your 20 coupons (where about 5 of them aren't for items you actually bought)...you might not want to get into the express lane. Just saying. I see more deathlooks in the express line than anywhere.

 

[lynxstch]

Sounds like you had a week from H***!

 

[lorimay]

These are sick BUT funny!!!

Thanks for a good chuckle.

 

[Pre]

I love it when people sit on the food stands. Especially the refrigerated coolers where pre-packed meat, cheese, etc is stored.

Why yes I want to purchase that meat that is under your bum now!

 

[tiggger1]

sounds like you were in the same store with me the other day. I was in produce and I had gotten 1 large bunch of unripe bananas ( we use them for smoothies) and was doing the rest of the shopping, when some old bat reached into my cart and tried to take my bananas because "they only had small overripe one left and mine looked better" When I told her no. she got mad at me and told me "apparently your mother did not teach you to respect my elders" so I told her "apparently her mother did not teach her not to touch other peoples stuff She didnt like that very much!

 

[runsandjumps]

I am just about to leave for the grocery store. I cannot say I am looking forward to the expedition.

I hope you pee'd a little. That's the best!

 

[LoserMomma]

Did they really lick it, seriously? I don't even like to touch the cart handles (which is why I now shop on-line).

 

[Sabeking]

My favorite is the guy who just unloaded all his beer into the car and left the cart on the curb where it is just about to start rolling....toward my brand new vehicle!!! If you can push all that beer down the shopping center sidewalk you can put the cart in the return area

 

[Jaya]

Hey you! Yes, you...lady in the red hat. Three diet cokes, 2 trashy magazines, a bag of pork rinds, seven Healthy Choice dinners, 2 packets of toilet paper and 47 assorted cans of cat food do not constitute TEN ITEMS OR LESS!!!

 

[spacemountainmom]

Please do not remind me of my cashiering days!

My two all time favorites:

1. Guy comes into my line with a gallon of milk. I ring it up and tell him the total. He goes bat crazy yelling at me about the price of the milk. I politely told him that I don't set the price, just ring it up. He went on and on. Finally other people in line starting coming to my defense. The guy finally said skip it and left. Thank you!

2. A woman comes through my line with non-essemtial stuff like shampoo and hair styling products. Her @ 7 year old daughter whines, "mommmy" and starts vomiting into a garbage can that she was carrying. Obviously the poor dear was sick and mom absolutely could not do without shampoo. I was furious. I wanted to go wash my hands, but have a huge line of people. I rang for a manager and was ignored. I couldn't believe that a mom would drag her barfing child out and rudely infect the rest of the world. I felt sorry for the kid.

 

[Bob NC]

One of my stranger grocery stories was an older lady I encountered in the freezer section. I watched as she was picking up half gallon containers of Neopolitan ice cream, you know the ice cream that is 1/3 vanilla, 1/3 strawberry and 1/3 chocolate.

She would pick one up, pull off that cardboard zip strip thingy, open the top, look in and then put it back on the shelf.

I watched her open about 8 or 9 packages before I walked up to her,

"Do you mind my asking what you are looking for?"

She says, "I'm looking for one with a little more strawberry in it."

 

[Mokat76]

This thread may turn me into a doomsday prepper, ewwwwwwww. Cannot imagine how gross some people really are. Of course, I'm laughing as I read it in abject horror.

 

[maxiesmom]

2. A woman comes through my line with non-essemtial stuff like shampoo and hair styling products. Her @ 7 year old daughter whines, "mommmy" and starts vomiting into a garbage can that she was carrying. Obviously the poor dear was sick and mom absolutely could not do without shampoo. I was furious. I wanted to go wash my hands, but have a huge line of people. I rang for a manager and was ignored. I couldn't believe that a mom would drag her barfing child out and rudely infect the rest of the world. I felt sorry for the kid.

I once had one very similar. Expect the mom didn't have enough of a brain to even give her kid a bucket. She just let her barf her way thru the store. Housekeeping had a grand time following behind her.

Then there was the time a lady puked into a bag and handed it to a cashier to dispose of.

OK show of hands--who has had a "lady" reach into her cleavage and pull out money, and hand it to you?

 

[LoserMomma]

Hey! That's what cleavage is for!


I once saw a kid reach into one of those big barrels of pickles, pull out a big koshar dill, suck on it, then put it back.

Yes, mom saw it.

No, mom didn't say a word.

YES, I did say something!

 

[2Kds2K9]

No.....Cleavage is for setting your phone in and walking, talking and shopping all at the same time! I was impressed!