Taking Friends any advice (Back and Thank you)

[rcchello]

One of the biggest problem we have had dealt with morning schedules. We are early risers, eat and head to the park, before texting we would tell them the lunch place to meet. Now with texting we just tell them to text us when they catch the bus to the park. In fact texting has resolved many of the problems of separating and meet up.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

Just thought of something else. Decide ahead of time how restaurant checks are to be paid.

When me and my mum go to a restaurant with my sister and her husband, we divide the bill per couple ie a €40 check = €20 per couple no matter who ate or drank what.

When I eat in a restaurant with friends we pay for what we ate and drink ie a €40 bill in total but what I ate cost €10 so thats what I put in.

Sometimes , if its a longer vacation, we might pay every second bill, ie we pay the full amount this time and next meal someone else pays the full amount.

Its always best to decide on a system BEFORE the meal to save squabbles. Also decide whether you pay for meals with card or cash.

With a grocery deliver , we divide by couple also. One couple will take charge and actually put the order through and pay upfront. We give a time frame for items to be selected, usually 1 week. The couple taking charge will send a link to the online grocery shop. General items are a given, like milk, bread etc. We discuss meal plans before hand and these items a given also. It is up to each couple to go through the online grocery and order personal favourites for alcohol , snacks, breakfast etc. The couple taking charge will then pay upfront and arrange delivery. Once the grocery order is delivered, the bill is divided per couple and paid by CASH to the couple who were in charge.

Dont just ASSUME everyone is on the same page regarding money, and dont be shy about discussing money payment options. It saves a huge amount of stress and arguments

We've had all sorts of guests stay with us - biggest benefit of owning at DVC. We enjoy having guests stay with us and have guests staying with us in a few weeks. Love the planning part of the trip!

BUT - the eating is always (frequently the only) part that induces high levels of stress We live in R.I. - restaurants are very good and very pricey - compared to our neighboring states. NYC is an exception - but more for the everyday stuff - fine dining is the same. So fellow RIers that do not eat in the chain restaurants are not as overwhelmed as our OOS company but still...

Disney's restaurant prices almost always induce sticker shock - casual restaurants are sky high and not very good. Want to eat at '50s Prime Time for lunch with the requisite $6.00 shakes because it's a fun experience? Everyone in the group better be prepared for that check...

I hate the restaurant decision part of a group trip unless I know the group members are not stressed about the cost.

As the unofficial planner, the decision is mostly left up to me with very limited input. It's awesome to be able to use knowledge and experience coupled with the plans du jour; anxiety inducing most of the time.

We have the TIW card - naturally, we are willing to share it with the group but then the card holder has to pay the bill. For occasional dinners with friends and family, we split down the middle but I prefer separate bills for a trip of 10-30 meals - don't want more anxiety or to feel badly because I want to try 'the drink in the pineapple' that costs more than an entree at a chain restaurant.


How do you justify $35+ for pancakes? It is ridiculous if you think about it yet my family usually enjoys 1 character dinner and/or 1 breakfast for each trip. Our solution is to add a few days at the beginning or end of the trip without guests.

The dining plan is the best way to eliminate the problem: It's just too costly for most people. The sad reality is that if you are not driving off site for meals and do plan to eat at TS and CS each day, the dining plan is the real cost -most people, ourselves included, don't want to think about how much will really be spent on food and we want to know that it is controllable - we can always order pizza or cook in the room - yeah, right - that hardly ever happens.

Who wants to lose time cooking and cleaning? As much as I love cooking - it is cost prohibitive for me to do it well while on vacation because of the initial investment in the staples.

Sorry OP - this was about guests - YES - we love it as it has brought back the joy of going- we do not expect or want anything from our guests for the accommodations - I will gladly use the DVC for tickets (the $199 deal was fantastic) but they purchase their ticket - will use my TIW or AP for discounts where applicable - after so many trips, we don't care what we see in the parks; whatever makes them happy - the restaurant part and paying for the food = HUGE stress so listen to BadPinkTink - work it out upfront.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

One of the biggest problem we have had dealt with morning schedules. We are early risers, eat and head to the park, before texting we would tell them the lunch place to meet. Now with texting we just tell them to text us when they catch the bus to the park. In fact texting has resolved many of the problems of separating and meet up.

The invention of texting and the proliferation of smart phones has made the early vs late sleeping issue so much better!

I tell our guests in advance that I require 8 hours of sleep and bedtime is after 11:00 - considering the amount of money I have paid to the airlines so I do not have to get up at 6:00 a.m. again, ever - rope drop is not in my vocabulary.

 

[quandrea]

I went away with my best friend, her two girls and my three kids in April. We were very forthright with each other. I paid for the two bedroom, dedicated. I covered groceries (it was food I'd be buying anyway). I gifted my nieces with five day passes (used points to buy them--Aeroplan). My best friend paid for pizza one night and lunch at Sci Fi for all of us. We paid our counter service separately.

Before the trip we planned together. Your friends say for you to plan, but this is where you might find trouble. Meet with them and discuss dining venues, plan of attack for each park, which rides you'll do, which fast passes you will secure. Give them a copy of the plans. This way they will have some idea of what Disney is like. I find people can't really conceive of Disney's size and scope until they experience it.

We also booked flights on our own and navigated the airports alone. We met up in the departure lounges. Simpler for immigration and security.

My kids are younger and needed afternoon breaks. We were all open to and accepting regarding splitting up. This also gave us some magical time alone with our kids.

I did find that my daughter, five, behaved a bit worse than usual with her seven year old friend along. She required more discipline. Not fun for me, but not everything in parenting is fun. She just wanted to feel important and keep up with her friend.

We had a blast and will go again.

 

[LVSWL]

I took my best friend and her husband for 8 days in a 2bdrm at VWL. We took care of the points, and helped on the passes and used our TIW card to save 20% off the meals. We wanted to help out as much as we could because they really couldn't afford the trip otherwise. I sent them copies of menus (they didn't have internet at the time) for them to choose from and see the prices, maps of the parks. All I heard leading up to the trip was that we were the Disney experts and they wanted us to plan everything, and that anything was fine with them. Unfortunately, that was not the case once they arrived and began to complain about the plans. They just couldn't seem to understand trying to beat the crowds (it was Easter week..their choice) or how long it took to get from point A to point B for dining and why we would want to ride Buzz again when we had already done it earlier in the week. We zipped our lips and tried to do the trip as they liked, but they decided they would leave 2 days early because otherwise they were going to be exhausted if they drove home on Sunday and had to work on Monday (trust me, we discussed this A LOT before we booked that 2nd weekend (Easter) and used all those points, so we were stuck with a 2nd bdrm during one of the highest point times in the year. I can't imagine what it would have been like now with Fast Pass+...ugh. Long story short, my BFF chewed my hubby out and me before she left Disney and wrote us a couple of nasty letters and we are not friends anymore. Sad way for a 30 year friendship to end. Lesson to us is that we should have really considered if we would enjoy spending that much time with them. Traveling together is very intimate. We always said they could "do their own thing", but in the long run they stuck with us and complained. So for me, I'm pretty gun shy about traveling with others. I felt like I tried to do all the right things to help them have a wonderful time, to include them in the planning, but some people just aren't meant to spend that much time together, and aren't honest up front with..amount of pool time, park time, costs..no matter how much you try to have a conversation. We had traveled with others and had a wonderful time prior to this.
Not meaning to be a debbie downer, I hope that your trip is fantastic and magical for all of you.

 

[spiceycat]

I agreed with LVSWL - some trips can be good - others you wonder why you bother to take this person in the first place - both friends, co-workers and family.

I think that some of mind was jealous - they first loved WDW then started to heard complaints - like WDW is not so great - or why do you spend your money on this place. Sorry those people never got to return with me. Now some of them have even asked when they are going back - to that I don't answer.

 

[LVSWL]

Yes spiceycat
I think we all have a list of who not to go with again. Our vacations are to precious to us, to our family to have the drama spoil the memories for our family.

 

[BadPinkTink]

agreed @LVSWL I had a similar experience a few years ago.

A friend I had known for about 6 years joined my California vacation. We had visited each others home city multiple times but this was the first time we had done a vacation in USA. It was a split stay vacation, first part in Vegas , second part in LA / Disney. We were in constant communication, planning on email and Facebook and I had done out a detailed day by day itinerary. She was totally involved in every stage of planning and knew exactly what me and the other members of the party expected of the vacation.

Things started to go awry when we checked into the hotel in Vegas. We were just going to quickly freshen up, then explore the hotel, collect the tickets for the show, have something to eat and an early night. We had driven from LA, so the driver just wanted to wind down and relax. She decided to change clothes and meet us later at the restaurant. okkay then, so we went off and left her in the shower. She eventually finds us about 2 hours later in the restaurant and she is all dressed up for a night on the town! We said oh no we are tired and not in the mood for Vegas party style (we are all similar age btw, late 30s) She got in a hump as she didn't want to go partying on her own So then after the meal she wanted to explore the hotel (which we had done earlier) again she didn't want to be on her own, so we all trooped around the hotel, taking pictures of her in various pouting poses! We eventually made it back to the room (the poor driver was exhausted).

The next morning, we had a list of sightseeing places around Vegas planned, but again she didn't want to participate. She just wanted to sit by the pool! So we left her there and went off sightseeing. We had to come back at lunch time to collect her as she was getting bored by herself at the pool! In the afternoon we walked down the strip to show her the various sights (she was the only one in the party who had not been to Vegas before, so we brought her to some of the must sees) I don't do well in the burning afternoon heat of Vegas and neither were others in the party but again she had no idea that others in the party were in discomfort and that I was literally melting. We trudged on, until eventually we saw some benches and icecream and we had to sit to cool our bodies down. Again she was not happy that we were taking a break, as we only had a certain amount of time on the Strip before we had to go back to our hotel for the nighttime show. We told her the timeframe we had and because we took an icecream break, she decided to dawdle in shops, while we waited at the shop doors for her!

Anayways THAT was Vegas and things just got worse when we got back to LA. So much so that in the end she decided to ditch us and move to a different hotel and continue the vacation on her own. None of us have spoken to her since (that was 2013)

Sorry to be another debbie downer but even when you plan and discuss down to the most minute detail, people can interrupt the plans differently or in my case just totally disregard all plans and do their own thing with no consideration for the rest of the party!

 

[moericus]

We are taking friends, who are Disney newbies, with us on our next Disney vacation, which will be sometime in September 2016. We are DVC members and plan on BLT for this trip.

Plan at least one dinner apart from eachother. I don't care how close you are... you probably will need this. Just tell them this is a restaurant they REALLY needed to see, but you've been there a lot.

Find out if they are "morning people". Meaning do they hit the ground running or are they not going to be ready until 10 or 11 everyday because it's THEIR vacation. I find this to be the biggest aggravation of going anywhere with friends. For me, it's Disney. We don't sleep in.

Also kid's bathroom breaks are very different for parents I've noticed. I'm a little more regimented with them and it drives me freaking crazy when we have to keep stopping for the impromtu "emergencies" from the child who said they didn't need to go 10 minutes ago when we weren't standing in line and it was incredibly convenient.

As far as planning goes, if they're Disney newbies then go back to your roots. What were you most excited about when you first went to WDW? Character meals, early entrance to the parks, Fantasmic dinner deals, the castle itself, It's a Small World..., try to meet Talking Mickey.

 

[RooRach0906]

Thank you all for your responses. It has given me great insight about what to ask/plan/do ahead of time and to have no expectations once we arrive.

 

[Julylady]

My advice is to make absolutely certain that they know you can't cancel or change dates once you book. My rule is that they need to purchase airline tickets before I will book the DVC stay. A lot of people think these points are "free" as in you get them each year so if you don't use them no big deal. I have a friend right now who wanted to "borrow" some of my points for her stay in October (I don't think she planned to pay me for them). I told her I didn't have any points for her to rent (I don't) and gave her the names of two rental agencies. I also let her know when free dining was offered and about the room only discount. She has purchased airline tickets but still does not have a hotel room reserved. She is waiting for the prices to come down even lower. I told her that wasn't going to happen. She also doesn't plan on making any fast pass or dining reservations since they want to decide what to do each day when they wake up. She said they don't mind waiting in line for a ride. I have tried talking to her but have given up. She will probably not have a great experience and will be one time and done with Disney.

Its also my experience that people don't understand WDW until they have experienced it so you can talk until your face turns blue, but they won't get it. My sis in law told me that she planned on staying in the parks from rope drop to close every single day. I just smiled. That lasted two days. She had no idea how big the parks were and how tired she would get.

We also had the problem on that trip with another family member who was routinely late for everything. Her sister had clued me in to this behavior so I was prepared. First morning we were to meet at 8am at the bus stop. The bus showed up at 8:10am and we got on without her. I texted her to tell her to call us when she got to the Magic Kingdom. I later found out that she was furious with me, but she was either on time after that or she would let me know that she would be joining up later.

Whatever you do....don't take on the responsibility of making them happy on their trip. They will be overwhelmed, tired, and shocked at how much everything costs, and start blaming you for it. I think that's just human nature. You can't give them the perfect vacation. I would recommend planning the trip as if it was your family only. Do what you like to do. After the second day ask them bluntly whether this is working for them. Give them an option to go off on their own. Even help them to rescheduled their fast passes if needed. If they stick with you and start complaining, make it clear that they are free to leave with a smile on your face. I would also seriously think about renting a 1-bedroom villa for your family and renting them a studio. I think a little "away" space is good and if they do cancel on you its not as serious.

I hope your trip works out OP!

 

[rocketriter]

Curious how other members have handled taking others...

Lots of good advice has been posted already, to which I'll add: Do not plan to spend all day every day together. If you do, you'll be at the mercy of whoever takes the longest to get dressed or eat or walk someplace, and tempers will fray. Instead plan some specific activities (including meals out for your own family if you want some, even if your guests want to always eat in their room--which they'll wind up disliking because they'll need to spend so much time on transportation to and from the hotel). Let everybody know what the "together" activities are and make it folks' responsibility to be their on time, NOT to travel there together as a convoy. Then people can come and go, do an extra ride (or skip one), swim when they want to etc. without swinging the whole group around by the tail. And include at least one "everybody's on their own" entire day for sub-groups to form and go in different directions, too.

 

[LVSWL]

Such great advice from everyone. I think that both sides start out with the best of intentions, but I do feel like the experienced Disney traveler tries to be honest about what the vacation will be like, and many times "the newbie" doesn't really listen. It is heartbreaking to plan for 11 months to share something that you love so much with people that you care about and have it turn out to be a nightmare. Traveling to WDW for a week is not the same as doing Six Flags for a day. I have finally gotten to a place where I don't mourn my 30 year friendship and it has been 6 years. People forget that you discussed/agreed on what you would do/where you would eat and all the rest and after the fact only want to hold on to their anger. In our case, my BFF was very ugly to my DH (her host) for no reason and then of course they left and we "lost" the points we had used to have a two bedroom for two weekend nights. No "I'm sorry" for any of the behavior. We knew on our way home from WDW that we wouldn't travel with them. What was shocking was that we ended up not being friends anymore.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

To quote a famous poet, "Let there be spaces in your togetherness."

 

[RooRach0906]

Unfortunately it is not really feasible for us to get two separate rooms; we do have a plan if they back out about what we would do. (They have already told their kids so because of that we don't think they will.)

Thank you again for all the responses! I really appreciate all the advice I am getting.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

Unfortunately it is not really feasible for us to get two separate rooms; we do have a plan if they back out about what we would do. (They have already told their kids so because of that we don't think they will.)

Thank you again for all the responses! I really appreciate all the advice I am getting.

Other people's children an be its own source of drama. Decide early on if you are going to be the awesome fun loving 'aunt' or the horrified authority when the darlings start walking on other people's tables during dinner or irritated single that doesn't understand why the parents don't get a babysitter. (dramatic license used here but just a bit ;-) At Disney, we choose the role of entertaining (but too young!) grandparents mixed with a dose of Mary Poppins - happily let the parents go on the thrill rides while we watched the kiddos; overindulged the children - characters, Fantasy Land, bubbles and magic as long as it did not interfere with the other people in the park.

Truthfully, ten (5?) years ago, we wouldn't have been able to enjoy the grandparent-like role. Smartly, on reflection, we knew that intuitively - cost a friendship or two saved some others.

Do some soul searching on how you will feel if the parents decide that they would rather watch their children play for hours at the kiddie pool instead of FP+ at the MK. How many rides on the carousel can you do before you want to run away to the nearest cocktail? Are you willing to stop constantly for pictures? What if one of the children develops the mysterious fear of dark rides?

 

[disneynutz]

IMO the benefit doesn't outweigh the risks. Do you really want to take a chance ruining a family or friend relationship because you wanted to share Disney?

Bill

 

[RooRach0906]

IMO the benefit doesn't outweigh the risks. Do you really want to take a chance ruining a family or friend relationship because you wanted to share Disney?

Bill

I respect your opinion but since we already invited them, I think it would be rude to go back on them now. I will just have to leave it in God's hands.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

I respect your opinion but since we already invited them, I think it would be rude to go back on them now. I will just have to leave it in God's hands.

I agree, you can't "uninvite" them.

I have traveled with family and friends to WDW & it is usually fine. The times that weren't great, were with my DH's sisters & they just don't get Disney. We tried explaining everything ahead of time, but when we were there, they didn't want to listen & follow the plan. We said they could do their own thing, which was sleep in and not get to the parks until lunch time. When we met up with them for dinner, all we heard about was the lines, the crowds, not getting a table at lunch.....

I also have gone with other family and friends & had the greatest vacations!

All you can do is try to explain Disney the best you can & then see how it goes.

I hope you have a wonderful time!

 

[KAT4DISNEY]

I respect your opinion but since we already invited them, I think it would be rude to go back on them now. I will just have to leave it in God's hands.

Definitely no uninviting nor any need to. I did not get the impression you were fearful of this trip, just looking for some suggestions to keep it good. Have fun!!!