pacsunmama
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2017
Hello! I am going to try to write up a synopsis of our amazing trip! I might shorthand some things and go back & elaborate when I'm home and on my computer. For now, here's some background!
Backstory, part 1:
My husband, an active duty, generally healthy Army guy, was diagnosed 18 months ago with stage 4 colon cancer. He's been fighting very hard and doing his best to stay "hooah" and positive throughout his treatment, multiple setbacks, and a handful of surgeries. In August he had a very large tumor removed from his pelvis, in addition to his bladder and prostate. Next up, after recovering for a few months, was the plan to remove ~65% of his liver, taking out the parts with the cancer tissue and tumors.
January 20, they took him back for surgery. About an hour later, the surgeon called me back. I wasn't worried- I knew they had to scope the area first to determine exactly their plan, before getting all the way into it. I was not prepared, however, to learn that the surgery was not going to proceed. Once they scoped, they saw that small tumor nodules covered his liver- these did not show up on CT. The rest of the day was a blur and a nightmare. Comforting my husband while he was waking up from anesthesia, while he was confused and upset, and very afraid because he knew something wasn't right. But then, due to the amnesiac effect of the meds, he would forget what I said and it started all over again. This went on for an hour.
Needless to say, there was rum in my near future. Not much- I'm a lightweight and don't drink much or often. But I ended up talking with a few friends late that night, crying on their shoulders via text. One of these friends listened kindly and was supportive and gentle with me, as well as encouraging. I let it all out, and cried and said how I was so sad because he is not done. We aren't done! We have memories still to make, things to do together! One of these things I mentioned was taking the kids to Disneyland. She perked up at that and said, that is totally do'able. "It's easy," she said. I told her it was a lovely thought but Disney is so much. It's too much, in too short of a time, and we would just continue dreaming about it and maybe someday it would happen.
(I'll put some photos in here once I figure out how to)
Backstory, part 1:
My husband, an active duty, generally healthy Army guy, was diagnosed 18 months ago with stage 4 colon cancer. He's been fighting very hard and doing his best to stay "hooah" and positive throughout his treatment, multiple setbacks, and a handful of surgeries. In August he had a very large tumor removed from his pelvis, in addition to his bladder and prostate. Next up, after recovering for a few months, was the plan to remove ~65% of his liver, taking out the parts with the cancer tissue and tumors.
January 20, they took him back for surgery. About an hour later, the surgeon called me back. I wasn't worried- I knew they had to scope the area first to determine exactly their plan, before getting all the way into it. I was not prepared, however, to learn that the surgery was not going to proceed. Once they scoped, they saw that small tumor nodules covered his liver- these did not show up on CT. The rest of the day was a blur and a nightmare. Comforting my husband while he was waking up from anesthesia, while he was confused and upset, and very afraid because he knew something wasn't right. But then, due to the amnesiac effect of the meds, he would forget what I said and it started all over again. This went on for an hour.
Needless to say, there was rum in my near future. Not much- I'm a lightweight and don't drink much or often. But I ended up talking with a few friends late that night, crying on their shoulders via text. One of these friends listened kindly and was supportive and gentle with me, as well as encouraging. I let it all out, and cried and said how I was so sad because he is not done. We aren't done! We have memories still to make, things to do together! One of these things I mentioned was taking the kids to Disneyland. She perked up at that and said, that is totally do'able. "It's easy," she said. I told her it was a lovely thought but Disney is so much. It's too much, in too short of a time, and we would just continue dreaming about it and maybe someday it would happen.
(I'll put some photos in here once I figure out how to)
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