I'm not being funny here....serious problem. I have a friend(one of my best friends for 13 years now) who is going through a lot in her life. Talking about finally divorcing abusive alcoholic husband (in serious denial), she is depressed and in therapy, 3 kids are in therapy because of parents constant fighting, police have been called, oldest son is rebeling and grades are slipping, etc. You get the picture...my friend's life is falling apart these days. Now her house has always been *messy*, but never *dirty* if you know what I mean. These days there is dirty dishes left for days all over the kitchen, overflowing kitty litters, mildew in the bathroom, so much dog and cat fur that you can't see the rugs, dust on everything, you can't see the counters or dining room table anymore. The boys eat standing up in the kitchen and they sleep on their dirty, bare mattresses with loose sheets over them. They came out today for a visit and they smelled HORRIBLE . They literally stunk up the house. After they left we had to open up windows and light candles. I don't even know what the smell was....unwashed people/dirty laundry, I don't know This is the second time we've seen them in the last two months and had the same problem last time. Our mutual friends have noticed and commented about the smell too. We don't know what to do about it though. I am in favor of taking her by the shoulders and saying "look we love you, but your house is a disaster and you need to fix it...it's not healthy for you OR your kids". I think some tough love may be in order to snap her out of it. My other friend wants to ignore it and not say anything. I am worried about my friend and not sure what to do. I know if it was me I would want someone to say something to me. I might need someone to say out loud to me what I already knew in my mind but didn't want to face. But on the other hand I don't want to lose her friendship. What would YOU do in this situation ??