I see this post is a few weeks old , but maybe I can be of some sort of help. I am a mom also that has a sd that I have to command for my child. The dog is working for one son specificially , I do find the dog has no troubles bonding with both boys . But in my case , as I suspect would be in yours if you are the handler ( its to big of a task for a child and even some preteens) the dog will really mainly bond with you . He will come to know you as the alpha and will look to you for everything . I had to travel out of state to attend a couple weeks of training . In the first week the dog didnt want to work with me and would only listen to the trainer . Its a normal part of the process and I had to learn how to stand , speak in certain tones, gesture , walking , turning , the heal command ,down and stay , and how to maintain certain rules for the dog in the home were just some of the things taught. I am thinking since you will be commanding the dog to do certain tasks you will have to do similar things. If you will be using the dog to track your son when he wanders you will have to learn how scent training works.I knew of a autistic boy that was so in love with his SD he never let go of the leash ! It did HUGE wonders for him! I had scent training with ours to check for allergens and it is amazing how smart these dogs are ! They will show you how to make the dog settle down when you are at a register or at a resturant . Learning how to push a cart with the dog was a bit funny at first but is second nature now. There is so much more but it will all be tailored to you , your family , and your type of dog of course. I was told to read this book by our trainer before arriving for classes . It really helps you understand how the dog sees your relationship and why some of the rules they will teach you are important. Its called " Be The Dog " by Steve Duno . You can get it on Amazon. Its a awesome book . Here is a really heartwarming story about how a dog changed everything for the family of one asd child. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJSu3G0U5SY&feature=related Hope some of this helps. If if I can help with anything please let me know.