Saying "I Love You"

[slo]

I was watching The Goldbergs last night and they were talking about saying "I love you"
The Dad had a hard time saying it, and the mom says it all the time.
During the show, the daughter said to the mom that she responds with an "I love you" back like she's on autopilot and it doesn't mean much because it's said all the time. She said that even though her Dad doesn't say "I love you" she knows it and loves him very much.

This got me thinking - do some people in real life feel that way?
I don't - I love saying it to my DH and girls, and I love hearing it from them.
I never get tired of it, and I don't feel like the meaning is watered down because I hear it and say it more than once a day.

(I don't just tell my immediate family I love them, I also tell my best friends I love them and they say it back - most of the time they say it before I do - even when we send a text we'll end it with a "love ya")

How do you feel about this?

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I don't think my family was big on I love you's while growing up.
I left for the military and the first time while I was in basic training, I called my dad he said I love you and I got off the phone and cried and cried. My husband and I say it all the time to each and the kids. Now all my conversations with my family ends with it.

 

[Dizlvr]

We don't say it all the time, my dh and my kids know I love them, I know they love me. We don't need to end or start every day, with an I love you, to me that makes it no different than saying "good night" or "good morning".

 

[Disneylover99]

We don't have any "I love you" rules, habits or expectations in our family. I know some families that say it when ending phone conversations, or when they leave each other to go to school or work. We may say it more then once throughout the day, but it's more of a spontaneous, random, in the moment kind of thing.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My parents said "I love you" multiple times a day. Especially whenever someone eas leaving. I have continued that with my kids and husband. You never know if that's the last time you'll see them. Sounds corny, but it is what it is.

 

[Feralpeg]

DD and I say it all the time to each other. It never loses its meaning. I never heard it growing up.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

My Mom always said "Good night and I love you," to me-even when we'd had an argument. It was just important to hear every night, whether in person or on the phone. That was the last thing I said to her before I covered her with the blanket at the funeral home.

My sister and I tell each other we love each other whenever we can. You never know when an 'I Love You' will be the last thing you said to someone you cared for.

 

[princesspiglet]

I say I love you to DH and DD12 multiple times a day..probably way too much for my daughters liking! She calls me "smother", just like Beverly....but I take that as a compliment.

I never heard it growing up, not one single time. My mom now says "love ya", but my dad has still to utter those words to me. I've said "love you" to him and he says "ditto" back.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Growing up, my mom would say it to me. She didn't say it every night or anything like that, but I do remember her saying it. My dad never said it. Like you said, I knew he loved me, but he never said it. In fact, I distinctly remember the first time he said it to me. It was my junior year of college right before I headed back for the semester. We had had a fight, no doubt about something stupid and trivial, and he said it as I was leaving. Meant the world to me. My husband and I say it to each other and our daughter multiple times a day.

 

[kimblebee]

Growing up, we didn't say it but we all knew it. We were shown it too.

Now, my husband says it A LOT. He means it every single time and I appreciate it and I do say it back every single time but sometimes, I admit, I say it on autopilot. I feel bad for saying that but it's true. I don't need to say it or hear it ten times a day but I know how he grew up so I know why he does it. I do mean it when I say it but it does get a bit much sometimes. He's definitely the more touchy feely of the two of us.

 

[Stinkerbell92]

I am a person who loves to say "I Love You" to my Fiance, my Parents, and my Friends. I never get tired of saying it.

 

[jimmalru80]

"Be a best friend, tell the truth
And overuse "I love you"
Go to work, do your best
Don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy".

That about sums it up for me.

 

[AustinTink]

That was a great episode. My husband is Murray and I'm Beverly. Except my husband wears pants. We laughed so hard at that episode, because it's so true about my husband and son. They don't go around saying the L-word to each other, but it's absolutely understood.

I, on the other hand, say it all the time along with a host of others lovey dovey mom phrases.

 

[elaine amj]

We all say "I love you" a fair bit. Not all the time, but a lot. Every once in a while, I make a point of looking my kids in the eye and telling them I love them. I like the random "I love yous", but it's also nice to have a sentimental, meaningful one thrown in here and there too. Just so it's not on autopilot.

My dad never said "I love you" often. I think he might have here and there, but it was pretty rare. He says it more now that I am all grown up. It's sweet - I don't get tired of hearing it.

 

[Saimaeve]

Dude I say I love you to my cat a few times a day.

The way I see it, my mother rarely ever said it. If she was to die today, I would not remember the last time I heard her say it. (It's probably been a few years) I don't want those that I love to not remember the last time I said it.

My father had a terrible fight with his brother one year right before my dad left town, his brother died of complications of AIDS just a few weeks later (He was doing very well until he got an infection and his health went very quickly) My dad has never forgiven himself.

My daughter and I say it constantly. But we also do a weird argument with it. (she stole it from Tangled when she was little and has used it since, I try not to think of the psychology behind it lol) But I'll say I love you, she says I love you more, I say I love you most, She says I love you more than most (or more than mostest most or more than most times infinity or whatever) I say Not possible, she responds "Yes Possible" (or we switch it around)

It's always been our little thing.

 

[slo]

That was a great episode. My husband is Murray and I'm Beverly. Except my husband wears pants. We laughed so hard at that episode, because it's so true about my husband and son. They don't go around saying the L-word to each other, but it's absolutely understood.

I, on the other hand, say it all the time along with a host of others lovey dovey mom phrases.

My DH and I love that show, because we feel we are a lot like The Goldbergs too.
My DH does say I love you a lot, so in that regard, he's not like Murray (and he wears pants too - LOL!!)

 

[luvsJack]

My parents hardly ever said it. But the times they did, I knew that very much meant it. Especially my dad because he said it soo seldom.

With my own kids, I said it a lot when they were little and as the boys got older (dd was just a baby at the time), I got out of the habit. My oldest son's first wife was the one who actually got us all back in the habit. She was an "I love you" person. Every time they left the house, she would say "I love ya'll" and every time she saw dd it was the first thing she said to her. She started reminding ds to tell us that he loves us and it went from there. Now we never part ways that we don't all say "I love you". Their marriage ended but I will always be grateful to her for reminding us how important those three little words can be.

 

[sonnyjane]

With family I don't say it as much. With my dad hardly ever. Mom sometimes. Grandparents always.

With DH we do, as a rule, when we wake up in the morning and right before bed at night. Kiss and "I love you". Sometimes one of us is still half asleep and not coherent but we still do it anyway. I like that, but also absolutely know that if we didn't say one day, it wouldn't change anything. Still like it though.

 

[KennesawNemo]

I didn't grew up in US or a western culture. My parents never said "I love you" to me. I have never said so to them. DH and I have only said it couple times to each other on very special occasions. We couldn't do it on a regular day for no reason. It's just too cheesy and weird. I don't ever feel bad about it. We just don't say it. We love by action and action only.

Now my kids are born and raised here. We say love to them a lot, like couple times everyday. They say it to us too. Most of the time we say it in English, sometimes we say it in our native language and it feels just so funny because again, we don't say it, like ever.

 

[Christine]

I grew up in a very loving family but "I Love You" was only used during, what I would call, substantial moments. Emotional times, celebratory times, etc. I knew very well that my family loved me and never felt like I wanted it said all the time.

Fast forward to today, I probably said it often to my kids when they were very young, but we don't do it now as adults. We don't require it, it doesn't feel natural to use it several times a day. For me, as the poster above, it's really about behavior. The words "I Love You" are weighty to me and I don't care, personally, to use them in a more casual sense such as part of a "goodbye" after a phone call or every time one of my family members goes to the store or something. But that's me. In my own mind, I do think that just using it several times a day makes it less meaningful. And I don't mean that you love the person that you say it to any less--I don't mean that at all. I just feel like the words themselves become less about how you feel and more like they are just habitual words.