Pregnant ladies treated mean - any stories?

Discussion in 'Disney for Families' started by janey99, Apr 13, 2008.

  1. janey99

    janey99 DIS Veteran

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    I got back from some business travel last week, and I've been musing about these 2 incidents -

    I am 34 weeks pregnant (so last week I was 33 . . .) (in other words, no secret there's a baby in there!). I was traveling with a colleague who is equally as pregnant. Both of these incidents were outside the US, but involved Americans.

    In the first, we had to take a fairly long train ride (over an hour). We boarded the train with about 5 other colleagues, and it was crowded. The seats were configured 4 seats facing each other, and there was one set of 4 that was unoccupied because someone had put 2 suitcases in the "aisle" between the 4 seats. My PG colleague was "last woman standing" without a seat" and she looked around the train car and said (very nicely - she is incredibly sweet and unassuming) "do these cases belong to someone?" a couple of times. No one answered. Our other colleagues started telling her, just push them out of the way and sit down, and she said she didn't want to touch somebody else's things. After a couple of minutes of silence, this woman who was sitting right across the aisle from the cases spoke up and said "those are my suitcases and I'm not moving them!"

    Our other colleagues spoke up, and started saying things like "can't you see how pregnant she is - she needs a seat, please move them . . " but the woman turned her head and totally ignored them. Finally, our colleagues took turns standing in the aisle for the whole train ride so she and I could have seats for the whole time.

    In the second incident, I was by myself. I had checked out of the hotel, and was waiting for my car to the airport. I had some time, so I went into the hotel restaurant for some lunch. The hostess was leading me to a small table, and the only way to get there was to squeeze between the bar and a pillar. The hostess squeezed through fine, but I couldn't quite make it with my GIANT stomach. There was a woman sitting on a bar stool who was contributing to the tightness of the space. I stood there a second but she didn't move. The hostess said "ma'am, could you pull your stool in so this lady can get through?" The woman loked right at her and said "no!" The hostess was gobsmacked! She backed through the space again, and led me to another table for 4, which she put me at all by myself, apologizing profusely.

    Now, I am the last person to ever think pregnant woman are sick or afflicted and need special treatment because they are delicate flowers, but in both these situations, it seems that all that was required was common courtesy. I was really shocked at the rudeness. Why would people act like that?

    Anyone else have similar stories?

    Jane
     
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  3. roliepolieoliefan

    roliepolieoliefan DIS Veteran

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    All I can say is Wow! I have no idea. :confused3
     
  4. DebRMN

    DebRMN Mouseketeer

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    wow some people are just very rude & who knows maybe jealous....like maybe they are mean to PG (this pertains to rude women) because they could never have children??? WHO KNOWS...but it is SO wrong!

    I guess I could see if it was someone from that country as we are not always 'welcome', or a favorite, in other countries.....not that it makes it ok. It is still downright rude to not have moved the suitcases. It is public transportation......
     
  5. lady browning

    lady browning Mouseketeer

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    Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!
     
  6. BKMETV

    BKMETV DIS Veteran

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    Thanks to a mom like you there will be two more considerate gentlemen out there in the future. :goodvibes
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc DIS Veteran

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    I teach in a large high school, and I must say that our kids are normally wonderful, really wonderful kids.

    BUT....

    One of our teachers was about 35 weeks pregnant at the time: she and I share the same kids for SAT prep. At one point, she apologized to the class. It seems that her 8th period class is across the building, and she was a minute or so late to class because she had to hurry through crowded halls.

    One of the kids had the unmitigated gall to tell her that he's overweight but still manages to get to class on time.

    From what I understand, the kids were completely silent. She was mortified, mumbled an apology, and started class.

    When I heard the story, I pulled Joe aside between classes. I let him know, in a voice that would carry, that there was a HUGE difference between eating too many Twinkies and having a PERSON inside you!!!

    I don't think he seriously had considered what he had said to a pregnant teacher. He apologized to me, then to her, then told me he had apologized to her.

    So we'll call it a "teachable moment."
     
  8. skmommy

    skmommy Mouseketeer

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    OP-- I probably would have either dumped the woman's suitcases in her lap or looked for an "official" who could have taken care of the situation. I suspect that behavior like this is at least partially responsible for the rest of the world's perception that Americans are rude and lazy in general. There is no excuse for that type of behavior.
     
  9. Mocharilla

    Mocharilla DIS Veteran

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    Wow! That's absolutely horrible! I don't really have any stories like that from when I was pg, but I feel so sorry for you in those cases! As if it's not horrible enough to feel so crappy!:sad2:

    That is so sweet! You're definatly raising those boys right!:thumbsup2

    Wow! I'm glad you had a talk with him. Maybe he should learn a lesson from Lady Browning's kids! :rotfl:
     
  10. delmar411

    delmar411 DIS Veteran

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    no terrible pregnant stories but for the OP I would have not so gently tossed the bags out of the way and sat down. I hold zero tolerance for ppl thinking their luggage gets a seat. ;) That was very nice of your co-workers to let you 2 have the seats though.

    I saw a lot of eye contact avoiding on the buses this past week when they were full. Too many ppl not giving up their seats to ppl who needed them. :sad2:
     
  11. janey99

    janey99 DIS Veteran

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    "OP-- I probably would have either dumped the woman's suitcases in her lap or looked for an "official" who could have taken care of the situation. I suspect that behavior like this is at least partially responsible for the rest of the world's perception that Americans are rude and lazy in general. There is no excuse for that type of behavior."

    "no terrible pregnant stories but for the OP I would have not so gently tossed the bags out of the way and sat down. I hold zero tolerance for ppl thinking their luggage gets a seat. That was very nice of your co-workers to let you 2 have the seats though."


    I usually ride on NJ transit trains for my daily commute. I have observed a few situations on crowded trains where someone has taken up seats with luggage. Usually people with luggage are not "regulars" and regular commuters are quite vocal about telling them to move their stuff. Usually a conductor shows up before it turns into a fistfight, but they are pretty harsh too - seats are for people, move your cr*p! Sometimes people will say "I can't move it - it's too heavy!" NO MERCY - the conductors always say, "you got it onto that seat, GET IT OFF so people can sit down!"

    Jane
     
  12. janey99

    janey99 DIS Veteran

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    It seems like so many more grown-ups need "teachable moments" these days!:headache:

    Jane
     
  13. DisneyCrazyX5

    DisneyCrazyX5 <font color=red>Do you know any cats?<br><font col

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    I just wondered why the PG colleague was the last one standing. Why wasn't she one of the first one in the group to have a seat. Then a non PG person could have been the one fighting for a seat.
    I do agree it was very rude and my sons always give their seat up for a woman, in any condition. The last time we had to wait at a restuarant I had an 8 year old on each knees, so others could have a seat.
     
  14. LisaZoe

    LisaZoe Mouseketeer

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    It actually sounds to me like these weren't specifically targeted at pregnant women but rather 2 instances of inconsiderate people who think they are the most important ones in any situation. No wonder so many people in other countries are irritate by "ugly Americans" and aren't referring to our looks.
     
  15. dogluva

    dogluva DIS Veteran

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    Just want to say that not all teachers take advantage of "teachable moments". When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter 16 years ago, I was subbing at a high school. During an assembly of some sort I had no seat. About twenty men teachers sat there and would not make eye contact with me. To top it off it was mid June, right before school got out and about 100 degrees in the room. I was actually sick as well from having low iron levels (didn't know it at the time) and felt like I was going to pass out. I made it but that is all I could imagine was an ambulance having to pull up to the school for me. I was totally disgusted. My husband would have given up his seat to a lady, never mind a pregnant one. My boys are being raised the same way.

    I would have thrown those suitcases on the floor. She paid for a seat, she should have a seat.
     
  16. Topo Bella

    Topo Bella Mouseketeer

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    I think the problem has less to do with the OP being pregnant than the fact that people can be horribly rude. It just becomes more obvious how rude people can be when you are pregnant and a little kindness means so much.

    While pregnant with my first child, I commuted to work by train, 90 minutes each way. I will never forget one time the train was particularly crowded and I had to stand in the aisle. All the men around me pretended not to see me and my 8 month pregnant belly. Finally, a woman stood up and gave me her seat, making mention of the fact that there were clearly no "gentlemen" in the car.

    This is not about special treatment for women, pregnant or otherwise, but basic human kindness. I would give up my seat to a man with an injury without giving it a second thought.
     
  17. MiniGirl

    MiniGirl DIS Veteran

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    My dds are 8 and 6. Do you belive in arranged marriages? :lmao: Seriously, as a mom to girls, I love when I see young boys acting this way, and of course, I love that sometimes when my dh and I aren't always pleased with each other, he still treats me well as an example to how their future husbands should treat them.

    To the OP, I'm sorry all this happened. People never cease to amaze me.
     
  18. Nee Nee and Biddy

    Nee Nee and Biddy Mouseketeer

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    When I was 30 weeks pregnant with our first child we went to WDW. Every night on the very crowded buses I would have to stand while men pretended not to see me. The only time someone offered me a seat it was a woman. I agree that it is a basic human kindness that is lacking in some people. I would give my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it!

    Last week my sister and I visited a local theme park with our 4 kids and there was a young woman on her own with a baby and a stroller trying to get on to the tram to the parking lot on her own. People were actually pushing her out of the way so they could get in front of her! She could barely hold the baby and the stroller to hoist it up on the tram. I grabbed her stroller and yelled at my sister to save her a seat...we jumped in front of the rude people to our saved seat. This girl was so thankful and nice.

    I've been on my own with children and hugely pregnant and people just don't help anyone anymore. Once at a restaurant I was struggling to get my 14 month old in a high chair while pregnant and the people behind the counter were LAUGHING at me saying "that lady needs some help"! The world would be a better place if we all helped each other out a little more.
     
  19. MiniGirl

    MiniGirl DIS Veteran

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    I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm confused. Are you saying it was the Americans, in this instance, living up to the "ugly American" image? With the exceptions of the OP's colleagues who should have never allowed to pregnant women to be the last people standing -- meaning they not sit down until the women have seats -- I don't see that. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying Americans don't have this reputation, but I don't see this as an assalt on Americans. I just see it as proof that common courtesy is fading worldwide. How sad.
     
  20. roxannex

    roxannex Maleficenterrific

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    People were a lot nicer to me when I was pregnant than when I had an infant. I think as soon as you become a mom you become totally invisible.
     
  21. MiniGirl

    MiniGirl DIS Veteran

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    I think that is because, in your case, people have that adorable little red head to look at. It is easy to see how they couldn't stop looking at him to see you. He really is a cutie. :goodvibes
     

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