Hello Some of you may know me as a DISigner here on the DIS. I design because I love to add a little magic to peoples trips and celebrations. I design to keep my sanity. I am an adult daughter of a father who has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers, though Ive noticed the gradual changes in him over the last 10 years. For almost a year he has refused to take his meds for his condition or he would say he did and toss them out. I know hes in denial, who wouldnt be. He is argumentative, mean and just plain hateful at times. And then the switch is flipped and he is just fine. He steels money from his joint bank account for his lottery tickets, gets lost when driving and by the way blows straight through stops signs. He and my mom argue every day, her reminding him to take his meds and confronting him about lie after lie. The little things that were so easy for him are now a major production. He leaves every light on in the house, water running, doors unlocked. He lost his wallet one day and we spent hours searching for it just for my husband to find it in the refrigerator. He had a doctors appointment which he insisted on going to on his own and ended out 3 towns over. Yesterday my mom asked him to trim a couple of branches from the shrubs in the front of the house; a two minute job. He returned 45 minutes later and when I looked outside I saw that he had hacked a good section of the shrubs to the ground. No going back there. I made him a special lemon cake for his 79th birthday and after the fiasco with his lack of topiary skills he was so mean and hateful to me and my mother that she served the cake without him but only after he told her he didnt want it in very colorful language. My mom cries a lot. Im told that this will only get worse and Im not sure how to deal with it. I have a lot of things on my mind. I worry about him. I love him hes my dad but I dont like him much at the moment. I worry about my mother because she is not well. She has heart problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid, not to mention osteoporosis and macular degeneration. She depends on a walker and is almost blind in her left eye. I basically take care of her, her meds and insulin. My family and I moved in with them when the company my husband and I worked for closed their doors. My husband and dad butt heads constantly. My dad is mean to him, to me and our grown daughter. My husband wants to move out but places are hard to find and though I want to do this, I have such a fear in my gut that tells me my mom will not last once Im out of the house. Im afraid if we go and something happens to her I will blame my father, myself and possibly my husband for pushing this move. Also since we pay rent and half of all utilities theres a good chance they would loose the house with not enough income, especially the way my dad loves to spend money that they dont have. I dont know what to do anymore. I know Im not alone. Id appreciate any words of advice and wisdom. Thanks so much for reading this.