OP, I think you have a tiny bit of the blame. If your ADR was for 8:45 you should have been at the Plaza by 8:30. Disney does tell you to arrive at your ADRs 15 minutes ahead of time. Your family shouldn't have been trying to squeeze in one last ride so close to your ADR time. However, that doesn't excuse not seating you because you were 2 minutes late. That is just crazy! But I don't think offering up other places for you to eat at was horrible guest recovery either. I'm not sure what else they could have done at that point, besides walk to Tony's and give the staff a smack-down.