Like the title says, my mom passed away a year ago today and I just wonder when the hurting will stop. I hope writing about it will help since I have trouble talking about it. In January of last year my mom started having back pains that sometimes made her stay home from work because they were so bad, but she thought nothing of it because she was born with slight spina bifida so occasional pains were a normalcy. Fast forward to April, she wakes up one morning and can't feel or move her legs so my dad calls 911 and she gets taken to the hospital, this is when I get a call because I live and work 80 miles away, so I rush down. We find out after some tests that she has a tumor putting pressure on her spinal column, it's a risky procedure but they should be able to fix it and then start radiation after she can walk again. So the operation went pretty well, she is fitted for her back brace and moves to rehab to learn to walk again. All is going well, she making lots of improvements towards walking and getting out of the rehab place to start radation and get rid of this cancer. Well on April 28th she goes for a routine MRI off site, the rehab place didn't have their own, and while on the table says she doesn't feel well. That is when she experienced cardio-pulmonary arrest and they couldn't revive her. Now some more background to other situations going on at the time. While she is in the hospital I am laid-off, not totally unexpected, I was a land surveyor and construction is at an almost dead stop. The thing is, my boss knew he was going to lay me off before my mom went into the hospital and waited another 11 days to actually lay me off so I only got to spend a few days with her while she was in the hospital. And then afterword my mom, who like the rest of us was sure she would beat this, wanted me to stay up where I lived and look for jobs. I am still mad at my former boss for that probably irrationally so. Before all this happened I had proposed to my wife the November before hand so my mom was extremely excited and helping with the wedding planning, I am an only child so this was particularly exciting for her. Sadly though she would not live to see me married since my wedding was planned for November of that year. If we had known how bad the situation really was we would have moved our wedding up in a heartbeat(forget my other relatives my mom was way more important plus all of my wife's relatives who came live in the same area). On another note my mom had become much closer to my wife then before(you know the typical "she's not good enough for my boy" type thing a lot of parents have when people first start dating), who's mother had started using drugs the previous year and disappeared and who we haven't heard from since, so much so she was like a mother to my wife too. She was always like that, almost a den mother to all my friends. Always with a sympathetic ear and some kind and reassuring words to ever needed them. I appreciate y'all listening to this newbie ramble on. Like I said earlier it is much easier to write this all out then talk to people about it.