Okay...........now it's Weight Watchers Here I go again!

[A1A1]

Weighed again today, sure that I would have lost something. What a dummy! Up again! Another half pound or one whole pound. Can't exactly remember. It was this morning, and I'm trying to forget.

I have not eaten any nuts today. I have not even eaten any cheese. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I am getting somewhat frustrated.

I ate:

Breakfast---one egg, three pieces of bacon, decaf with cream.

snack---low carb bar

lunch---7 oz tuna with ranch dressing and two teaspoons of relish.

dinner---turkey salad with 1 cup romaine lettuce. Turkey salad made with mayo, Mrs. Dash's seasoning, a little onion, and a little celery.

snack - three hot dogs with ranch dressing.

One of my co-workers saw me walking down the hall and said, "You look great!" I was surprised since I thought I looked horrible. Had no time to blow dry hair this morning, and no make-up. Yuk! I did a good job at work today. I am very tired, and should go right to bed.

 

[A1A1]

Thanks DoeWDW. I look forward to your posts.

 

[A1A1]

Up another half pound at least. I can't remember what my weight was yesterday. I am up either one pound or a half.

What am I doing wrong? I can't believe this. I am so upset. I can't do anything right.......................

 

[LisaTx]

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I am inspired by your determination to improve yourself for you and your daughter.

I stopped by to see if you were posting menus to see if I could help you figure out what was causing you to gain. I know how frustrating it can be. Sometimes I gain and can not for the life of me figure out what I did wrong.

Please don't take any of this as being critical. I am not judging you at all. I have read a lot about low carb and about others struggles and would love to be able to help you if possible.

Like Doe mentioned, it would be very helpful for you to input all of your food on www.fitday.com I know you're not supposed to have to watch your calories on Atkins, but some people do have to. I try to keep mine between 1200 and 1400 per day. From the menu posted above it looks like you're eating a lot of protein and possible too many calories. Fitday would give you a better idea. Most people at the beginning of Atkins aim for 65% fat, 35% protein and 5% carbs.

You're not eating enough vegetables. You should be getting at least 3 cups of veggies each day. Most of your carbs should be coming from veggies.

There are lots of little things that could be a problem for you. Some people have to go back to a strict induction and add things in slowly to determine what it is that they are sensitive to.

Hot dogs and bacon have lots of sodium. It doesn't take much salt at all to make me retain water.

Low carb bars and nuts are know to cause stalls in lot of people. Some can handle them just fine. It's also very easy to overeat nuts. Be sure and measure out a serving. Don't just eat them out of the can.

Decaf still has some caffeine. If you're drinking a lot and you're sensitive to caffeine, it could be causing a problem. Also the cream would add up fast as well.

7 oz of tuna is a large serving of protein. You may need to cut back to 4 or 5 oz servings of protein.

What kind of ranch dressing are you using? Do you take your own to work? If the cafeteria has a low fat dressing, they are usually loaded with sugar to make up for the taste.

Have you checked the label on the pickel relish? Does it have sugar?

I'm not trying to be picky. Most of these things shouldn't be a problem, but are for some people. I really would like to help you figure out what the problem could be.

Don't get discouraged. You will find the solution and get healthy again. When you get discouraged just look at your precious daughter and remember why you are doing this.

 

[A1A1]

Up another pound today. Thought I had a good day on low carb plan yesterday. I guess not. Maybe low carb isn't for me.

 

[A1A1]

Went to fitday.com and put all the food I ate today into the computer. Turns out I ate a little over 1,000 calories, 88% fat, 4% carbs, and 8% protein. I don't really know what any of that means.

I also couldn't find the carbolite nutrition bar that I ate for lunch on the website.

 

[DoeWDW]

Every food isn't in Fitday. Sometimes you have to enter it, like the Carbolite bar. Just copy the stuff from the nutrition label.

Your percentages look pretty good, but I'll do a more thorough analysis tomorrow (getting to be bedtime here). 1,000 calories is pretty low. You should be eating at least 1,200 to keep your body from going into starvation mode.

I'm so proud of you for sticking with this, despite how hard it's been for you. Keep at it. I just KNOW you'll figure out what works for you and your body.

 

[A1A1]

Feeling good on the whole. Proud to remain on my plan. Went to Olive Garden yesterday with DD. Previously, I went there for the bread sticks and alfredo dipping sauce. Any food beyond that didn't matter. Yesterday, I didn't eat a single bite of bread sticks. Good for me. I drank water, and ate the grilled chicken and sausage with veggies. No potatoes. I did eat the entire entree, though. Probably should have taken some home. Had dry salad with ranch on the side, because their italian seems so sweet.

I did not weigh myself this morning, and am going to try to do that only once per week or less. I am going to use my clothing as a guage.

My skin looks better.....more clear and light. I am always tired though when I come home from work. I was in bed by 8 pm last night. I was reading for a bit, but very soon fell asleep.

I ate breakfast. Two scrambled eggs. A little bit of low fat pepperoni and onions mixed in. Probably not supposed to eat onions. Only had about one tablespoon. Also decaf with cream and water.

I am proud of myself. Keep on keeping on.

 

[A1A1]

Big Binge last night!!!!!! I was out of control. Kind of like being on autopilot.

I did very well during the day. I don't know if it was because of an event I went to, that may have subconsciously affected me more than I knew. A sad event. Christmas tree lighting to honor family members that died.

I had a major binge during the late evening. I was watching my favorite movie....Pride and Prejudice......and was overcome with the desire for bread. I ate 3/4 of an Olive Garden bread stick, two pieces of frozen garlic bread with tuna salad. Yuk. It was so not worth the binge. I also had a small bowl of ricotta cheese with spelda, walnuts, and chocolate whipped cream. Double Yuk!!!!!!!!!! It is like the filling for my grandmother's Italian cannolis. What was I thinking? I don't know what happened. I was totally out of control. It was one thing after another. I couldn't stop myself.

I started back on my low carb plan again this morning, but I do feel that my portions are way too big.

Breakfast: Three scrambled eggs with sausage and two slices of colby cheese. A tablespoon or so of salsa. Decaf coffee with cream.

I am only going to weigh myself once per week----try, try, try. I am going to make Sunday my weigh-in day. So weighed today, and have lost 6 pounds since November 16. I don't think that is very good. Maybe my binge really cost me. We'll see next week. I know that today will be better. I never really even want to cheat, so I don't know what happened to me yesterday. Very bad. I had hoped to lose 10 more pounds before my trip to WDW in 9 days. That, obviously, will not happen.

I really feel much better and lighter. Even after only 6 pounds. I feel like it's more than 6 pounds. My belly pouch is getting lots smaller. That is great. Sorry if this grosses anyone out. It is how I guage my initial weight loss.

I bought a pair of jeans last week, and am probably going to leave the tags on and return them in a few days. The waist is too big for me to wear them now.

 

[ZerasPride]

I just wanted to say that I have been reading your journal entries and want you to know that you are inspiring me. You have gone through so much and basically have not let it detract you from your goal. I think losing 6 pounds is awesome! Please do not give up. I am a newbie at this and find so such encouragement and support from other people posting, even if you do have a slip up every now and then. I am sure you learned a lot from your binge, and are ready to re-commit yourself to a healthy way of eating.

I applaud you for being able to be so strong at Olive Garden. That’s one of my favorites and I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat there anytime soon surrounded by all that pasta and bread!

Take care and remember you have support and encouragement here.

 

[A1A1]

Lisa, Thank you so much for your reply. It helps immensely when there is someone there sharing your journey. This is a really big deal for me right now. It's about the biggest thing. I am trying to make some other changes as well, and get the paperwork, financial end of my life in order, too. That's easy to get frustrated with just like dieting. These are both going to be lifestyle changes for me. I have been burying my head in the sand for too long.

My father keeps reminding me that these are the cards I have been dealt, and I have to play them. I am not ready to fold.

 

[A1A1]

Had a good food day today. I don't remember what I ate for breakfast...........Hum...........let me think took my thyroid medicine...............hum....................................................................oh, yeah......... a Carbwise bar, which I liked very much.

lunch was a few slices of deli turkey
a cup of decaf tea...................another cup of decaf tea......................
a few almonds. I think that was it.

Dinner: some hamburger, zucchini, and peas in beef broth.

A huge glass of water. That is all. I am very thirsty. Broth must have been salty. I bought a ham last night for .99 per poun (very cheap), so I cut it up and froze it before I went to bed. Of course, I snacked on a few little pieces of ham while I was cutting. Salty, I'm sure.



I have a job interview on Thursday. I hope my suit fits. I will have to take it to the dry cleaner tomorrow morning. Hope they can do 24 hour service. I just pray that I look normal enough to be offered the job. I am unsure whether or not I can accept it if I am offered it, because I think the job starts before my daughter gets on the school bus. Also, it is a 24 mile each way drive. Not great in the winter snow.

Well, we'll see.

Great news for today----------I DIDN'T WEIGH MYSELF!!!!!! I slid the scale under the bathroom bench, so it will be out of sight. And, hopefully, out of mind.

I didn't really even want to weigh myself today. It didn't really matter to me. Good news, I think.

Newest obsession, though-------Ketosticks!!!!! I have almost used half the pack. I just love to see if the little stick is going to change color. I wonder if other people have used these.

 

[A1A1]

Only 7 days and 20+ hours until we board our plane for WDW. Good. Need a little break from the holidays. I don't particularly like them, and would do better to avoid them altogether. I wonder what kind of disservice I am doing my daughter by not being in the holiday spirit. There is only a santa claus cookie jar in the house. Empty, of course. That is the only reference to any holiday. No Christmas tree or card anywhere.

Breakthrough----no Ketostick this morning, and no scale. I am feeling lighter. I feel that I am carrying myself a bit taller, too. Amazing what just a few pounds can do. I will hope to have lost a couple by my next official weigh-in. I really do feel lighter. That's good.

Took my thyroid medicine, and now must get ready for work. Yuk! My position ends a week from yesterday. I am going to miss the money. Very good pay for me. I was starting to feel more secure about paying my bills. Now-----not so secure.

 

[DoeWDW]

You are doing just fine! You're taking steps, one by one, toward getting healthier. You should be very proud of you!!!

Those ketosticks can get expensive. I've never used them but I understand that some people use scissors and carefully cut them in half, so the package lasts twice as long. Just thought I'd mention it!

Don't worry about the holiday decorations. Your daughter sees them everywhere else!! I don't have anything up for Christmas yet either. All in good time, or not, either way the holiday will arrive, right? I think having a healthier Mommy who is working hard to make her life better is more important for your daughter to see right now. Let's face it, you can't do it all. There will be time for decorations next Christmas, and the one after that, and the one after that..... Just do something small this year and be happy with that.

Good luck with your job interview. Don't forget that you're interviewing THEM as well. Ask if it's possible to start later to accomodate putting your daughter on the bus. It can't hurt to ask, right?

I hope you have a wonderful day!

 

[A1A1]

Okay. Had the job interview. A bit stressful. Had to work all day. Brought my blue suit, and changed in the back of my car in their parking lot. Got a huge run in the rear end of the pantyhose as I was putting them on. Very difficult to do in the car. Tough questions. Floundered on some. They would have to make an exception to the start time for me if I am offered the job.

Had no time to eat today. Ate a low carb bar for lunch and some almonds. Had a bit bowl of romaine lettuce, tomato, bacon, and deli sliced chicken with ranch. I know I had too large of a portion. Actually ate two bowls. Very hungry tonight for dinner. Went to a middle school concert this evening. Didn't eat the punch or cookies afterward. Good for me.

I broke down and weighed myself today. I was standing on the scale trying to keep from looking. I didn't want to look, but I was already on the scale. I looked. Darn. I did go down, but I was disappointed that I looked. I don't want to do that tomorrow. I won't do that tomorrow. I only used one Ketostick today. That's kind of a breakthrough for me. Usually it's three per day. A sickness, really.

Daughter chosen to read a sentence in the Christmas program at her school. We are scheduled to leave for WDW on the same day. She will have to miss the Christmas program. I am feeling guilty. Should I? DD says she'd rather go to WDW.

My grandmother is dying. I haven't gone to see her for about a month. I can't stand to see her in the condition she's in. She will be the third most close person in my life to leave me. I have already lost her, too. She isn't talking anymore. I hate that. I miss her terribly. She and I were so close. We did so much together. She was also very close with my daughter. I hate death.

 

[A1A1]

Thursday was a big event at work. It went well, and my hard work was recognized publicly. I was stunned. I didn't expect the recognition. Just a few kind words can do wonders for a person.

I had a great eating day.



Friday: Had a going away party for me after work. My last day. Was very nice. Held in a chain restaurant. I had nibbley food laid out in front of me and was very hungry. I drank several very large glasses of water. OOOps. They had lemon. I think that is against the rules. Forgot about that. Also, I had some of the nibbley food. Appetizers. I had three pieces of deep fried shrimp. Was kind of soggy. Not worth it. Had a few pieces of the deep fried and sauced chicken. Okay, but probably not worth it either. I also had two nacho chips with that spinich dip. The dip probably would have been okay without the chips. Oh well. Then went to my friend's house. She was watching DD for me. She had ordered pizza, wings, and antipasto salad (my request). She said since I already messed up, just to have a cheat day. I didn't eat the pizza or the wings! I wasn't going to ruin the entire day because of a few appetizers. I was proud of myself. I ate my antipast salad. Most of it. It was large and good. It probably contained way too much lettuce. Also, I had eaten a large cobb salad for lunch. Lots of roughage yesterday. More than I have eaten for a while. I could have done much more damage than too much lettuce, I guess. I am not upset with myself. I do not have a defeatist attitude like I would have previously. I am most proud of the mental changes I have made. My reactions are more calm, less self-loathing.

I suffered from an eating disorder in college and much of my life after college. I would have responded much differently then. Food has ruled my life for so long. It is a shame. I wish I were more emotionally strong than I have been.

I miss my husband so much. If he could see inside of my head, and could understand the changes taking place there, I think he would be proud of me. I often felt he would be totally disgusted by what I have done to my body. I think that was self-loathing and guilt that helped me put on all this weight.

I am feeling so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to cry, because I am happy about this one area of my life.

 

[DoeWDW]

I can hear strength and purpose returning in your posts!

You ARE changing, and definitely for the better! You are making healthier choices at every turn and finding the inner drive to MEAN them. You are honoring yourself and your husband with your choices!! I know he would be proud of you! More importantly, I can tell that YOU are proud of you and you should be!!

I'm glad your last few days at this job were good ones. Endings can be hard, but remember that for every ending there is a new beginning just around the corner. Stay strong! Good things are on the way for you!!

Have a day!!

 

[A1A1]

Thans DoeWDW. Glad for your feedback. I do feel stronger and better about myself. I think it comes out in the things that I do in my life.



Just figured out that I passed my first 10% goal!!!!!!! I wanted to lose 60 pounds altogether. So ...........every six pounds lost is 10%. Is that how everyone is figuring their 10% lost goals? Or do you figure 10% of your total weight?

 

[A1A1]

Wow! The weekends in the snowy north just make me feel very blah. I ate way to many almonds this weekend. They are on sale at our grocery store---the almonds are the organic raw type. I love them, love them, love them. I stand the almond up on its side between my top and bottom front teeth, and bite down. My goal is to split them equally and perfectly. Crazy, I know. I do enjoy it.

DD and I made cookies tonight. I did not eat any cookies, but did have three mini m&m's off one. I'm just glad I was able to keep away from the cookies. I smelled them, and that seemed to be enough for me. I will put them in a freezer bag, and maybe freeze them. Then, when she wants one, I will just zap it in the microwave.

Other than my three mini m&m's, and many almonds, I have done pretty well. I realize that I can't leave the bag of almonds on the counter. Too easy to reach my little hand in. I will put them away when I put away the cookies.

I am a ketostick addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am showing a very dark pink on the stick. Like a rose color. I was a little disappointed with my weekly weigh-in today. I snuck a peak on Wednesday, and was down two pounds from the previous weight last Sunday. Today, was only down 1/2 pound from the previous week. That's okay, because I think it's getting to be TOM. I feel excellent, and am starting to see some shoulder bones. That is my favorite thing. The stomach pouch (sorry to whoever might read this) is going away too. I am very glad.

I bought lots of flu remedies and immune boosters today. Spent a fortune. DD and I plan to go to WDW on Wed, and neither of us has had the flu vaccine. Doesn't sound like the vaccine is going to be of much assistance this year anyway. I wanted to give us a boost before we travel. I wonder how crazy we might look wearing surgical masks on the airplane. I am seriously considering it.

I hope to stay on my eating plan while on vacation, but must have lots of soups at Chefs de France. Their soups are the best in the world. I know they are high carb. I will do my best, and hopefully get lots of exercise.

I'd like to get on the treadmill tonight, but remain unmotivated. My "unmotivation" is getting less and less, but still there. I am feeling very tired, and want to go to bed.

Off to bed, I go.

 

[Strings]

Great job on resisting those cookies! Have a great time in WDW! I'll look forward to hearing about your trip with DD.