Finally.....I am going to get my life back together. When my darling husband became so sick six years ago, I lost myself. I am unsure whether or not he knows who I am or even who he is. He is a shadow of the vibrant, wonderful, life-loving man he was before. I know he knew how deep my love for him was. I hope that is the thing that keeps him going. Our daughter was born one month after I lost him to his illness. I have been raising her in a way that I hope he would approve of. I have, though, totally neglected myself. I have hated myself. I lost myself. I want to get it together........finally.........and make him proud of me. After he got sick, I gained over 80 pounds. I just ate to numb the pain. I ate for companionship. I ate for entertainment. I have become very concerned about my health. I don't want our daughter to lose two parents. I want to feel good about myself again, instead of feeling like the total loser and failure that I have felt like. I want to be healthy. I want to fit in nice clothing. I want to sit comfortably on the airplane to WDW. I want to walk around WDW without worrying about who is thinking that I'm fat. I want to live each day without constantly thinking about food, and how I'm going to get my next food "fix". Finally.