Off-topic randomness - a place to ramble?

Discussion in 'Online Gaming Community Board' started by JeanJoe, Jul 19, 2005.

  1. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    OK I want a home for completely off-topic randomness. Maybe what you had for dinner, or what your dog dragged in.

    Yeah, yeah, I know there's a Community Board, but they scare me. And I'm temporarily avoiding the DVC CB for a little bit. This thread will probably deserve to be moved or locked, but...

    ======

    I got this by email today, and for some reason found a lot of it funny. Anyone else, or do I need to be locked up?

     
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  3. Aunt Cawa

    Aunt Cawa <a href="http://www.wdwinfo.com/dis-sponsor/" targ DIS Lifetime Sponsor

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    They are hysterical! I am printing out a copy for my husband and my mother who share my some what warped sense of humor. Not to say your sense of humor is warped :-)
     
  4. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    Hey, I resemble that remark!
     
  5. MicMin

    MicMin <font color=purple>Grants Sparkling Wishes</font>

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    The alternate word meanings are so funny. :rotfl:
     
  6. thegales

    thegales DIS Veteran

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    Not sure if this is too risque, but it is completely random:

    Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous. Simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
     
  7. queenlizzie

    queenlizzie <font color=red>long live the queen!<br><font colo

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    oh my gosh! just what I needed for this boring, boring afternoon!! I laughed so hard and so loud, my daughter ran to see what the heck was going on! I love the "arachnoleptic fit". I now have a name for that dance! I HATE (*shivers*) spiders!!!

    these are great joe~ keep 'em coming!
     
  8. JoNo

    JoNo <font color=blue>Proud Duct Tape Patroller with th

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    Joining the off-topicness, i'm going to see Nine Inch Nails for my birthday present! rock on!


    EDIT: guess I should throw in a joke:

    There was a bar and in walked three nuns, a pastor, a priest, a missionary, and a three legged dog. The bartender looks at a man laughing his head off and says "Whadaya think this is? some kind of joke?"

    thank you thank you i'll be here all night!
     
  9. DemonLlama

    DemonLlama DIS Veteran

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    I posted this on the CB, but since we frighten you so. . . ;)


    This year's top ten from the Bulwer-Lytton contest, AKA "Dark and Stormy Night Contest"-- run by the English Department of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel.


    10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."


    9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."


    8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."


    7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.' "


    6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."


    5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."


    4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."


    3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."


    2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."


    AND THE WINNER IS.....


    1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, and screaming madly, 'You lied!'"
     
  10. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    More stream of consciousness off-topicness. (And I don't have any jokes.)

    Is my daughter advanced? She just turned 3, and this morning, after I told her I didn't want to put up with her whining, she slammed the door on me and told me not to come in.

    I could have sworn I was supposed to get a few more years before that...?
     
  11. Tinkerbelle739

    Tinkerbelle739 <font color=9999FF>Wrote a letter to the Tag Fairy

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    I like to Ramble...in color!!
     
  12. Astryd

    Astryd <font color=dark pink>Even she thinks she is cute<

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    nope, sorry my girl too. And she started early too. we are in sooo much trouble Joe. :rotfl:
     
  13. pumpkinfish

    pumpkinfish <font color=blue>Clothing Expert and Magic Giver o

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    *rolls eyes*

    You and your NIN.... :)

    Happy Early B-Day! :bday:
     
  14. debbiedoo

    debbiedoo DIS Veteran

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    My daughter is almost 7 and it does not get any better. We just have to take it one day at a time. The new thing over here is refusing to clean her room. I call the floor the dump. No pool, activities, etc---not the lone ranger.

    and true the DVC CB, and the CB board can be scary--
    I saw that one thread and I think I know why you are---do not blame you!!
     
  15. DemonLlama

    DemonLlama DIS Veteran

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    Ok, now I am really curious!! :upsidedow
     
  16. cami89

    cami89 <font color="red">Mouseketeer<br><font color="gree

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    Uh, me too!
     
  17. Astryd

    Astryd <font color=dark pink>Even she thinks she is cute<

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    well debbiedoo i think you strated something now. :guilty: I already know which thread it is.
     
  18. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    Got hanname? ;)
     
  19. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    P: Aah! Demon llama!
    K: Demon llama? Where?
    Llama: Aah!
    K: Aah! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Ooh hoo hoo! Ow! Ow, my head!
    P: Okay, demon llama. Just take it easy. I mean you no harm.

    Thanks for the laughs! :)
     
  20. chimera

    chimera <font color=deeppink>WISH Racing Team Member<br><f

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    Funny, but the hanname thread isn't what it used to be now that the OP has identified herself. Joe, you don't need to hide.

    On random topics...

    Only 9 days 'til we go back to WDW :bounce: Lookin' for some golden ears! :earsgirl:
     
  21. JeanJoe

    JeanJoe <font color=red>VMK Community Leader!</font color>

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    Woot woot!

    Make sure you bring the printed out Tomorrowland quest, to get extra goodies! (Hey wait, this is getting ON TOPIC for this forum. That's not allowed -- we need to get off topic again!)

    Must come up with something off-topic, but I can't think of anything right now...

    Oh, here's something. If anyone's read the latest Harry Potter (don't worry, no spoilers coming), prominently placed in a special font is printed something like "Just shove a bezoar down their throats!"

    I feel so trendy now. But it doeds not sound like a bezoar is very palatable, does it?
     

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