Never thought I'd be posting here asking for support...

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by TaraPA, Jun 12, 2012.

  1. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    I'm a long-time DIS-er, and frequently lurk & sometimes post on the Coping & Compassion Board. Everyone here is soooo supportive & wonderful to help, and to just listen sometimes.

    I almost didn't want to post here, because there are so many others with much much worse situations than mine, but I'm just really having a down day.

    My mom was diagnosed with ******l (DIS will block it out so I'll go with V for now) last week, and we just came from her first oncology appointment. It wasn't any better or any worse than we suspected, but it's just so real now. She does have a cancerous tumor in her V that has grown since her last exam 4 weeks ago. He said V cancer after a total hysterectomy is uncommon. She had a full hysterectomy 22 year ago due to pre-cancerous cells in her cervix. She also had a small bout with breast cancer 5 years ago, they got it all with just a lumpectomy & it hasn't been back.

    The good news is that her cat scan seems good - they only saw the cancer in the V. He ordered a PET scan to get more definitive answers. If it hasn't spread, they will discuss radiation & chemo vs. surgery. I know my mom is practical & would opt for the surgery, but after hearing that it will not only involve losing most of her V but also parts of her colon & rectum, possibly resulting in a bag, she doesn't know what to do. She's now having to face the reality that her life is going to have some major, unpleasant changes.

    So I guess we wait til we get the PET scan results, and take it from there. I just needed to type it all out to get it straight in my head. If anyone is the praying type, if you have room for one more, could you send one my mom's way? Thanks. The DIS is a great place to vent when it feels like no one else understands.

    Hugs & positive thoughts to all of you out there experiencing similar things. :hug:
     
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  3. Christine

    Christine Would love to be able to sit on

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    TaraPA,

    So sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she is coping well herself. This is a great, caring board; however, too often too little "traffic" in my mind!!!

    I know very little about this type of cancer but I'd probably want to have surgery myself, even as debilitating and awful as it sounds. But not knowing the cure rates with each type of treatment--easy for me to say, right?

    Hopefully she is the care of good doctors who will help with all of those decisions.
     
  4. SevrenLuna

    SevrenLuna Disney is my first memory!

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    I am sorry to her about the difficult time you and your mother are facing. I am adding you to our prayers for strength, guidance and healing.
     
  5. eternaldisneyfan

    eternaldisneyfan <font color=royalblue>Have an Attitude of Gratitud

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    many (((hugs))) That's hard-cancer sucks anywhere but to be somewhere private like that...I have several tubes and they are manageable. prayer said.
     
  6. JJ in wonderland

    JJ in wonderland Mouseketeer

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    :hug: My thoughts are with you an your family.
     
  7. quasar4legs

    quasar4legs DIS Veteran

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    Hi,
    I am sorry your mum is facing such difficult decisions, it must be a terrible time for your whole family.

    I don't have any advice but the link below is to a forum of very supportive people all facing similar decisions as your mum.
    One of the other great things about this forum is that they have volunteer doctors that will give advice via email, usually within 24 hours.
    Although its a uk group there are people from all over the world.

    jostrust.org.uk

    Thinking of you and your mum:hug
     
  8. jennyjinx3

    jennyjinx3 DIS Veteran

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    Thinking of your mom and sending good thoughts :flower3: you must be in complete shock.:hug:
     
  9. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    Thank you everyone for all the kind words, and prayers. Thanks for that link as well, I'm going to check it out tonight.

    They say when it rains, it pours! DH's father has not been well for about the last year, and just this week his live-in female companion of 2 years emailed me to tell DH that she is no longer able to care for him, he needs to be put in a home, and it needs to be handled ASAP. Just what I needed this week! DH is out of town til tomorrow, and leaves again Sunday for 6 days, so I'm not sure what he will be able to do in a day & a half. He has some step & half siblings but he isn't close with any of them, and neither is his dad. So since we live the closest, this will fall on us. I don't even know where to begin.

    I told her to ask his primary physician, his neurologist, his oncologist, his renal specialist - all of them - if he qualifies for any kind of rehabilitiation that he could be admitted to some sort of facility even on a temp basis to give her a break. He had an MRI last week that shows he had several mini strokes - and a bladder polyp just came back malignant (he has severe kidney failure too) - my head is just spinning with all the info from my mom - and now I have to deal with this too?!?!? He's supposed to start injectable chemo in 2 weeks - the same week my mom is supposed to start her treatments - how am I going to find the time to manage to oversee both of them in different hospitals, plus take care of my own home & family & go to work?!?! DH travels for work every week so I can't count on him to help out with any of this. Thankfully my dad is well & fit and can manage my mom by himself, but I want to be there for them too.

    Oh and did I mention that our dear family cat seems off lately, she's 16 1/2 so I know her days are numbered, but just NOT NOW!

    They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle....well STOP with the tests already!!!!!!!!
     
  10. disneynuts777

    disneynuts777 <font color=red><marquee>I have never had this don

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    There is always room for one more on the prayer list.:goodvibes
    DH will finish his first week of radiation tomorrow. Four more weeks to go.
    The DIS has been my number one place to vent and actually type out and visual see the things that are going on.
    I will be thinking and praying for your Mom as that is what I do while in the waiting room while DH is having his treatments.
     
  11. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    I think that's what I'm doing - after I post I'm like "wow why did I type so much?!?!?!"

    Good luck to you & your DH. How is he feeling from the radiation?
     
  12. siouxi31

    siouxi31 <a href="http://www.wdwinfo.com/dis-sponsor/" targ

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    I haven't been on this board in ages but something sent me here today. I believe it is to pray for you. I am the praying type and just said mine.

    It was to give you strength, help to keep clarity of mind to see His signs for help and direction that guide you to provide the support your loved ones need as well as guidance to take care of your family.

    I'll be thinking of you in the days to come.
     
  13. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    Thank you siouxi31:hug:
     
  14. TavieP

    TavieP Mouseketeer

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    Wow, I know you don't know me and I'm new here but reading your posts, and all of the deep stress and trauma you're going through (with minimal support) - can I just say that your courage and strength is so admirable and beautiful. Your mom and your FIL are lucky to have you in their lives. I'm sorry your DH can't be there more to help you with this incredibly stressful and important situation with his father.

    I'm thinking of you and sending you all of my hopes for strength and guidance. We're all here, pulling for you - you're not alone.
     
  15. DisneyFan32WI

    DisneyFan32WI <font color=blue>Sometimes I just like to be plain

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    I'm sorry your mom has to go through this. Sending prayers her way...
    Keep us updated. :hug:
     
  16. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    I'm so sorry to hear about all of this.. I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope someone can also help you out here and there, that is an awful lot at one time.:grouphug:
     
  17. disneynuts777

    disneynuts777 <font color=red><marquee>I have never had this don

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    Hey...just checking in to see how you are doing.:hug:
     
  18. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    Today's the day we get the PET scan results, and they decide on a plan of treatment. So.....just waiting for the phone to ring!! It's been on my mind all day.

    FIL has seemed to "perked up" a little bit, once he was faced with going to a facility. His spirits seem to be up, and he is making more of an effort to try harder to do things for himself. That was part of the problem before - he always had someone to do everything for him, so he let them. His companion says she can cope for the time being, and his primary care physician is seeing if he can get him some PT or HHC. He starts an injectable chemo in his bladder next week, so hopefully I can buy more time with him, so that I can focus on my mom!
     
  19. disneynuts777

    disneynuts777 <font color=red><marquee>I have never had this don

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    Praying that your Mom's results have a positive outcome:hug:

    May your FIL keep going on his independence. Any weight taken off your worries is a step in the right direction.:)
     
  20. TaraPA

    TaraPA Can't live without a ticker!!!!

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    Yay we have good news! Ok, well the best good "bad" news!!!

    The cancerous tumor is confined to her ****** & the PET scan was CLEAR everywhere else. She was really nervous that her breast cancer was back, since the gyn oncologist said it's extremely rare for ******l cancer to actually start there. He assumed it was also somewhere else. So WHEW on the clean PET scan!

    She starts radiation 5x a week tomorrow, and they will do chemo once a week along with that, for 6 weeks. No surgery at this point which is also very good news. They will do another PET scan in 3 months & go from there.

    So can anyone tell me their experience with having both radiation & chemo at the same time?
     
  21. disneynuts777

    disneynuts777 <font color=red><marquee>I have never had this don

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    OMG.....its been a great day!!!!:dance3:
    Anybody else reading this will think I've been "drinking the kool-aid" but I know that you will understand!
    Radiation has made DH sore where they are radiating and tired.
    My Dad did chemo once a week and was higher than kite the day he received his chemo and dog dead tired 48 hours later. He also had slight nausea.
    All the research I have done it is more likely that your Mom could feel nausea from her radition since it will be near major organs.
    I hope that she is able to get her treatment close to home.:goodvibes
     

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