Nervous about letting my kids fly unaccompanied

[disykat]

They really let a 13 year old rebook their own flight without parental consent? All the more reason NOT to let a child fly by themselves.

This was in the mid-70's. Since my connecting flight was eventually cancelled after many delays, I really had no choice but to rebook. My age was never mentioned, although I was obviously young. There was a huge crowd fighting at the gate, so I walked out to the main area, walked up to a ticket desk of the airline I was flying on and explained that my flight had been cancelled and I needed another flight. I was not flying unaccompanied, at the time it wasn't an option for a 13 year old. I was just another passenger, who was actually much more capable than the adults at the gate, who'd been drinking their way through the delays!

 

[Hannathy]

They really let a 13 year old rebook their own flight without parental consent? All the more reason NOT to let a child fly by themselves.

What is wrong with that? they obviously had a ticket. I don't understand the outrage.

I would expect them to rebook a passenger whose flight was cancelled. I would be upset if they DIDN't!!!

 

[cornflake]

They really let a 13 year old rebook their own flight without parental consent? All the more reason NOT to let a child fly by themselves.

Why not? If you think your kid is going to try to abscond to like, Paris, and is savvy enough to pull it off, well then that's a personal issue and, frankly, I'd probably be more impressed than anything if a kid tried it.

Otherwise, I don't see the issue. Of course they rebook the flight, what're they supposed to do? Leave the kid to live in the airport like Tom Hanks in that godforsaken movie with the cheesy accent?

Thirteen-year-olds (and younger kids) take public transit wherever they choose, no one needs parental permission to get on a subway.

 

[descovy]

As far as the flying, we have decided that IF they fly it will be once I am comfortable with a layover situation.

I am not about to fly half a leg to the connector. We did consider letting kids fly nonstop to Seattle and having FIL pick them up. But he won't consider that (he actually lives in ID and drives an hour to get to the Spokane airport. The FIL is so weenie about driving that he often stays at a Spokane hotel if flying too late at night, but that is another story altogether)

Point is, I'm not up to making a bunch of special arrangements just to make this trip happen. FIL gets to see them whenever he chooses. He wanted to add this trip. If at a later date I feel comfortable letting them fly up, they will. Otherwise, he'll just see em next time.

But it is very funny to be looked at as an over-protective parent. Certainly around my community, I am not considered such.

I do have a part time job 3 hours in the morning. So yes, the kids stay home alone. When we started this (age 11, 9, 7) friends about had a heart attack at the thought. That they don't cook wasn't a matter that they aren't allowed. But that at most they make breakfast (cereal or toast) They also stay home if I'm taking one to a dance class or the dentist or whatever. I do not work full time currently, so they have never needed stayed home 10 hours.

This year we lost school bus service. My town is up in arms about kids having to walk. My 12 yo walks/bikes 1.5 miles to school. And (gasp! crossing 4 lane streets!) My neighbor won't let her 15 year old walk to school and feels bad that my kid has to walk.

Everytime a "stranger-danger" alert is notified (even on the other side of town) friends vow to never let the kids out of their site Wheras, my kids can ride their bike to the neighborhood park alone.

Every Tuesday the older two get Subway on their way to drill team practice. I wait with the youngest in the car and they go inside and order their sandwich. Even the workers there asked "your mom really lets you in here alone?"

The kids do their own homework, pack their own lunches. If they leave something behind at home, they live with the consequences.

I too very much believe that kids are capable of more than we often give them credit for. If at age 3, they knew how to get a step stool, reach for a cup and pour a drink of water from the sink, they no longer should ask me to get them a drink.

So it's funny how here I look like a an over-protective-hoover and yet in real life my kids have more freedoms and responsibilities than their local peers.

Thread has been an eye opener! Thanks folks!

 

[jujube]

They really let a 13 year old rebook their own flight without parental consent? All the more reason NOT to let a child fly by themselves.

Was she supposed to sit in the airport?
A lot of kids are smart enough and independent enough to do this.

 

[elaine amj]

I will agree with SaraJayne.

However, I do think you're too paranoid. We've often let our teen (now 14) "babysit" for an 8 hour workday her two younger siblings (8 & 6). We've taught the teen how to cook (first microwave stuff, now she can use the oven & stove), and how to do laundry.

Our last two vacations (2011 & 2012), I kept the teen with me through the connecting airports. I had *HER* find the next gate and "get us there". I would have no problems sending my three as "unaccompanied" minors.

That being said, if your kids haven't had recent flight experience, so they at least have an idea of what SHOULD happen, I wouldn't do it.

This is a good idea - I will definitely do this on our next major flight - which is an international one.

My mom lives in Asia and has been hinting that one day, she would like the kids to spend the summer with her. This would likely mean they would fly either there and back by themselves or that we (or someone else) would go with them one way.

I've thought about it for many years now and wonder just at what age I would feel they are ready to handle a major journey like that by themselves, particularly with the long layovers and several transfers typically required.

I would probably start thinking about it more seriously when DD is 14 and DS is 13. That way, both will be in their teens at least. I will definitely start making them navigate us through airports and connections over the next few years in preparation.

I grew up flying quite often and was a very experienced flyer. When I went away to college, I finally had to handle flying by myself when I flew home for Christmas vacation. I definitely felt nervous and was anxious having to figure everything out by myself - but knew that I would have to cope somehow. And I did. Everything went smoothly. Now I was 19 - a far cry from 13. Still... like someone else said, of course you and your child going to be nervous with something new. But that doesn't mean your child can't handle it.

In your specific situation, I would probably consider it. If I recall correctly, this flight is next summer. you have a long time to prepare and educate your kids on how to handle a flight, even with connections.

 

[NikitaZee]

I'm with you. No way would I allow my kids to fly alone at that age.

Of course, you'll get the obligatory "my child flew around the world alone at 2 years old and was absolutely fine" posts.

All that matters is you aren't comfortable with them flying alone. For me, another solution would have to be put forward or they wouldn't go.

Agreed. Even further for me - my kids fly with me and my husband, and that's it.

 

[mjkacmom]

As far as the flying, we have decided that IF they fly it will be once I am comfortable with a layover situation.

I am not about to fly half a leg to the connector. We did consider letting kids fly nonstop to Seattle and having FIL pick them up. But he won't consider that (he actually lives in ID and drives an hour to get to the Spokane airport. The FIL is so weenie about driving that he often stays at a Spokane hotel if flying too late at night, but that is another story altogether)

Point is, I'm not up to making a bunch of special arrangements just to make this trip happen. FIL gets to see them whenever he chooses. He wanted to add this trip. If at a later date I feel comfortable letting them fly up, they will. Otherwise, he'll just see em next time.

But it is very funny to be looked at as an over-protective parent. Certainly around my community, I am not considered such.

I do have a part time job 3 hours in the morning. So yes, the kids stay home alone. When we started this (age 11, 9, 7) friends about had a heart attack at the thought. That they don't cook wasn't a matter that they aren't allowed. But that at most they make breakfast (cereal or toast) They also stay home if I'm taking one to a dance class or the dentist or whatever. I do not work full time currently, so they have never needed stayed home 10 hours.

This year we lost school bus service. My town is up in arms about kids having to walk. My 12 yo walks/bikes 1.5 miles to school. And (gasp! crossing 4 lane streets!) My neighbor won't let her 15 year old walk to school and feels bad that my kid has to walk.

Everytime a "stranger-danger" alert is notified (even on the other side of town) friends vow to never let the kids out of their site Wheras, my kids can ride their bike to the neighborhood park alone.

Every Tuesday the older two get Subway on their way to drill team practice. I wait with the youngest in the car and they go inside and order their sandwich. Even the workers there asked "your mom really lets you in here alone?"

The kids do their own homework, pack their own lunches. If they leave something behind at home, they live with the consequences.

I too very much believe that kids are capable of more than we often give them credit for. If at age 3, they knew how to get a step stool, reach for a cup and pour a drink of water from the sink, they no longer should ask me to get them a drink.

So it's funny how here I look like a an over-protective-hoover and yet in real life my kids have more freedoms and responsibilities than their local peers.

Thread has been an eye opener! Thanks folks!

My kids start walking to school in the 2nd grade. My kids have never had a ride to the JH/HS, and both are over 1 1/2 miles away. Sixth graders frequently go out to lunch during the week, to a deli, pizzaria, or other types of restaurants. Once they're in middle school, they are eating out all of the time. They all started staying alone at the age of 9. By 12, they have the run of the town, pretty much.

So, I guess it depends on where you live - I feel I'm the norm here.

 

[DopeyDame]

They really let a 13 year old rebook their own flight without parental consent? All the more reason NOT to let a child fly by themselves.

What in the world else would they do? A 13 year old usually isn't flying as an unaccompanied minor. They are a passenger on the plane. Should they refuse to rebook the kid and strand them in the airport? I'm so confused by this comment...

 

[disykat]

What in the world else would they do? A 13 year old usually isn't flying as an unaccompanied minor. They are a passenger on the plane. Should they refuse to rebook the kid and strand them in the airport? I'm so confused by this comment...

I'm actually curious what the age is now at most airlines. A few years ago, we were shocked when we were looking at sending our 13 year old on a single flight to visit his grandparents and he would have HAD to pay the unaccompanied minor fee.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm actually curious what the age is now at most airlines. A few years ago, we were shocked when we were looking at sending our 13 year old on a single flight to visit his grandparents and he would have HAD to pay the unaccompanied minor fee.

Depends on the airline. My DS flew last summer and the summer before alone without being an unaccompanied minor and he would have been 12 and 13 .

Personally I think it should be 12 across the board.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I'm actually curious what the age is now at most airlines. A few years ago, we were shocked when we were looking at sending our 13 year old on a single flight to visit his grandparents and he would have HAD to pay the unaccompanied minor fee.

The age to travel entirely on your own (not having to pay unaccumpanied minor fees):

Delta--15 and up

Southwest--12 and up

Lufthansa--12 and up

United--12 and up

Jet Blue--14 and up

American--16 and up

 

[sam_gordon]

As far as the flying, we have decided that IF they fly it will be once I am comfortable with a layover situation.

I am not about to fly half a leg to the connector. We did consider letting kids fly nonstop to Seattle and having FIL pick them up. But he won't consider that (he actually lives in ID and drives an hour to get to the Spokane airport. The FIL is so weenie about driving that he often stays at a Spokane hotel if flying too late at night, but that is another story altogether)

I wonder if FIL is writing on his message board "My DiL is so weenie she won't let her kids fly to see me."

descovy, I have no problems with you deciding your kids aren't up to the task. They're your kids, you know them best. I do think it's hypocritical though to call your FIL a "weenie" for doing something that makes him comfortable, but it's ok for you to NOT do something because it makes YOU uncomfortable.

 

[Bob NC]

descovy, I have no problems with you deciding your kids aren't up to the task.

How nice of you!!

 

[sam_gordon]

How nice of you!!

Eh, you caught me in a good mood.

 

[mhsjax]

Why not? If you think your kid is going to try to abscond to like, Paris, and is savvy enough to pull it off, well then that's a personal issue and, frankly, I'd probably be more impressed than anything if a kid tried it.

Otherwise, I don't see the issue. Of course they rebook the flight, what're they supposed to do? Leave the kid to live in the airport like Tom Hanks in that godforsaken movie with the cheesy accent?

Thirteen-year-olds (and younger kids) take public transit wherever they choose, no one needs parental permission to get on a subway.

Last time I checked the subways and airplanes were no where close to being the same thing, it is crazy to even compare the two. I expect the airline to call the parents and discuss with them what a 13 year old should and shouldn't do and let them know exactly what flight they will be on. Maybe that happened maybe it didn't. If they talked with the parent, then I have no problem with it.

I don't know why all the confusion or outrage, I said without parental consent. Then again, my kids won't be flying without a parent on a connecting flight, so I don't have to worry about this.

 

[descovy]

I wonder if FIL is writing on his message board "My DiL is so weenie she won't let her kids fly to see me."

descovy, I have no problems with you deciding your kids aren't up to the task. They're your kids, you know them best. I do think it's hypocritical though to call your FIL a "weenie" for doing something that makes him comfortable, but it's ok for you to NOT do something because it makes YOU uncomfortable.

Sorry to get your undies in a wad but those were his words. Point being he has his comfort level and adjusts his travel plans accordingly.

Heck if I care if he calls me a weenie either. I can't make him drive and he can't make me send my kids alone.

I have my comfort level and adjust my plans accordingly too.

I am open to changing my mind and evolving as time gets closer.


But hey glad to catch you on a nice day!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Last time I checked the subways and airplanes were no where close to being the same thing, it is crazy to even compare the two. I expect the airline to call the parents and discuss with them what a 13 year old should and shouldn't do and let them know exactly what flight they will be on. Maybe that happened maybe it didn't. If they talked with the parent, then I have no problem with it.

I don't know why all the confusion or outrage, I said without parental consent. Then again, my kids won't be flying without a parent on a connecting flight, so I don't have to worry about this.

I would expect that if I allowed my child to fly on her own that they would deal with her. What if the airline could not get hold of me (our last flight, due to my DD15 needing to get to the US much sooner than the rest of us, DD was flying back to Germany on Delta connecting through Atlanta at the same times as the rest of our family were on Lufthansa connecting through DC. If she had had a hang up should they have made her sit in Atlanta overnight until we were off of a plane to take a call? I think not!

And you are correct that subways are not the same as airplanes--airline travel is much more regulated and safe--making the need to call a parent even less of an issue.

 

[sam_gordon]

Sorry to get your undies in a wad but those were his words. Point being he has his comfort level and adjusts his travel plans accordingly.

I have my comfort level and adjust my plans accordingly too.

I am open to changing my mind and evolving as time gets closer.


But hey glad to catch you on a nice day!

I apologize then. I read it as you calling him a weenie.

 

[disykat]

Last time I checked the subways and airplanes were no where close to being the same thing, it is crazy to even compare the two. I expect the airline to call the parents and discuss with them what a 13 year old should and shouldn't do and let them know exactly what flight they will be on. Maybe that happened maybe it didn't. If they talked with the parent, then I have no problem with it.

I don't know why all the confusion or outrage, I said without parental consent. Then again, my kids won't be flying without a parent on a connecting flight, so I don't have to worry about this.

LOL - talk to my parents? My grandparents had driven me 4 hours get me to the first airport and were spending the night there. My parents had driven 5 hours to pick me up at the 3rd airport and were waiting there. Who would they have called?

After playing the page each other at the aiport game to no avail, I finally called my Dad's office. Fortunately, he thought to do the same thing and we were able to communicate through them - long after I had solved my problem. Remember - this was a time before cell phones. It never even occured to me to TRY to get a hold of them before I made my next reservations. I had been in that airport 6 weeks earlier with my grandparents when I went home with them, so at least my family knew I had some familiarity. Like I said, no one mentioned my age to me, they just helped me like any other customer. If I had needed help, I probably could have asked. It never occured to me to do so!