Need a ladies opinion....

Discussion in 'Welcome to the DIS' started by SonicGuy, Jul 3, 2007.

  1. SonicGuy

    SonicGuy Mouseketeer

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    We are booked for our vacation in September - 9 nights Poly. This is our first on site stay, but have been to WDW many times. We have two disabled children DD17 and DD3 (yeah thats right - 14 years apart!) Here is my problem...we just found out that my wife is expecting (not a planned situation, mind you). Because of her diabetes and the medical history of our children, the doctors are EXTREMELY cautious with her health. They are not really going to put her on bed rest or anything, just do TONS of tests and make her monitor her blood sugars 8-10 times a day and take insulin about as much. We have good insurance, but this still gets to be EXTREMELY expensive - on top of just paying the normal cost of bringing a new one into this world...

    The guys on here will probably understand, but my first reaction was to cancel the trip (its already paid in full - $6k plus), or at minimum look at ways to do the trip cheaper. I know we haven't been in about 7 years, but I never remember spending $6,000 before. Anyway, is this bad of me. I do not want to suggest anything because her emotions are already ALL over the place and to be honest at times I am rather quite afraid! Is the analytical businessman in me out of touch with the needs of my wife and girls or should I do the responsible thing and cancel the trip. $6,000 would go a LONG way toward paying for the baby. As I have looked at other options, I really do not come up with scenarios that same me a TON of money. We want the DDP, as I am not exactly the buy 1 cheeseburger and two buns and share type. (No problem with those that do, just not me.) With us getting the DDP free, it makes it difficult to find something that much less.

    I could really use ANY advice. I am always very impressed with the ways ya'll help each other out here and hope it is my turn to by a recipient of that. Thanks in advance!
     
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  3. Mousermom

    Mousermom I wanna plan Disney Weddings and hubby wants to be

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    Is there any way you could change the reservation to a value resort?

    I understand there are only certain resorts that participate in the DDP, if there is a value resort that is participating, maybe you could look into it.

    That could definitely cut costs.

    Also, are you planning on flying to WDW?

    You can save money by driving there.

    My husband, son, and I have decided to drive from Philadelphia next May to save money. I don't know how long it takes to get to WDW from Dallas, but we've driven before, and honestly, it wasn't that bad.

    Also, if you do drive, don't feel that you have to drive your own car to the parks. Take advantage of the WDW transportation system. It's free!
    I know it's only 10 bucks, but every little bit helps!

    Maybe you could shave one or two days off the vacation as well. It might be better for your wife not to be away so long and again, saving at least a couple hundred bucks.

    Good Luck with your decison!

    Mousermom
     
  4. Kriii

    Kriii Mouseketeer

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    My thought would be to cancel. WDW is physically taxing for anyone and a higher risk pregnancy plus the challenge of caring for two other kids would possibly be rough on your wife. WDW will always be there for you later - there is no reason to risk your wife's and baby's health for a vacation (fun as WDW is, it is unimportant in the big scheme of things). I should also tell you though, hubby and I cancelled a vacation once upon finding out I was pregnant. Turned out to be a really wise decision b/c I ended up hospitalized the week before we would have travelled anyways. So now you know my bias. Best of luck in your decision and wishing for a healthy pregnancy for your wife!
     
  5. SonicGuy

    SonicGuy Mouseketeer

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    Thanks for the ideas. Driving is pretty much out since 1. tickets are paid for and 2. by the time we got two wheelchairs and 6 suitcases in the minivan , we would have to ride in top!
    Are the rooms at the value resorts as small as they look. We have 5 people, (mother in law comes to help with girls) and at the Poly space doesn't seem to be an issue. At values I think the 2 wheelchairs would fill any available space.
     
  6. Disney*Dreamer

    Disney*Dreamer DIS Veteran

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    Have you asked your wife what she wants to do, what she would be comfortable with? You may also want to discuss this with her dr. Either way, congratulations on the newest addition, every child, weather planned or not, is a true blessing.
     
  7. Mousermom

    Mousermom I wanna plan Disney Weddings and hubby wants to be

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    Oh, I didn't realize there would be a extra person there. The bottom line is that you have to do what's best for your family. You'd wind up having to pay extra for that person in a value anyway. But, there are family suites at the ASMu now. I don't know what they look like, but I'm assuming that they are big. Also, don't know if ASMu is one of the resorts that is involved in the free dining. I hope everything works out for you. Keep us posted on your decision.
     
  8. rmjkharrisfam

    rmjkharrisfam Mouseketeer

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    I'm sure you can find lots of ways to save money - I like the previous post about changing to a value but I had a different thought. Since the dr's are watching your wife closely are they at all concerned about her doing a Disney trip? I've had 2 relatively normal preganancies but don't know that I would want to go on that big of a trip while pregnant. I'd definetly be concerned about the cost of a newborn and the $6,000 would go a long way but I would also check with her dr to make sure that the activities involved at Disney are ok with them. Even if you take your time through the parks and don't go on the bigger rides it is stressful on your body. We went for 6 days in May with DS4 and DD2 - we had a GREAT time and I wouldn't have changed anything but I came home ready for a another vacation :goodvibes

    Just my thoughts....
     
  9. SonicGuy

    SonicGuy Mouseketeer

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    I know this sounds insensitive or even sexist but right now I am so afraid to ask. Right now she would probably come back with a "you don't love me" or something to that effect. I know its the pregnancy hormones talking (at least I hope) but I just really do not want to upset her. DD17 is sooooo looking forward to the trip. Mentally she is at about a 9-10 year old level and cannot wait to have her hair done by the "princesses" at BBB and we are surprising her with CRT. My girls are both daddy's girls and they have me wrapped so tightly around their little fingers its not funny. It would break my heart to tell her we were not going and I fear her resenting the new baby as the reason her trip to WDW got cancelled. I just don't know what to do.....
     
  10. Disney*Dreamer

    Disney*Dreamer DIS Veteran

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    No, you do not sound sexist at all, because that is exaclty what I would say to my husband. lol.

    It sounds like your kids are really looking foreward to the trip. I wouldn't cancel, mostly for their sake, but I would still talk to the dr about it first. Even if you have to do so behind your wife's back, she will thank you for being concerned later. The great thing about staying on site, is if she gets tired she could go back to the room and you and your girls could stay at the parks and let mommy rest.

    Or another way to go about it, would be to ask your wife if she would like to rescedule the trip for after she delivers so that she could ride some rides too, that way it won't look as bad, it will just look like you are concerned about her having a good time too. The parks can be fun with babies too, my daughters first trip was when she was 6 months old, it was a blast, and she rode everything that we could ride, and loved the characters.

    Her drs, if they are real concerned, could arrange for her to see a dr while she is in FL. I had to do this in 2004 when I lost a baby just before the trip and wasn't sure if I would miscarry it naturally or have to have a D&C. My dr set up for dr appt and blood work at a lab. (Thankfully I miscarried a few days before the trip and didn't actually have to see the drs while I was there.)

    Good luck with whatever you decide. You are a stand up man for being so concerned about your wife and future child. Most men wouldn't even think about it or care.
     
  11. fairymommy

    fairymommy Mouseketeer

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    I have something to say about this. Last summer I was having some problems with my pregnancy, but my other children were excited to go to an amusement park we'd been promising them we'd take them to. We walked around all day in the hot sun and I started cramping. I don't know if this was the actual cause of my miscarriage, but over the next week or so it got worse until I lost the baby. You don't want to blame yourself later if something happens to your wife and child. Tell your wife you love her and are worried about her and the baby. Your children will be disapointed, but hopefully understand if you sit down and explain it to them that you're still going to disney world, but you have to wait a while til after the baby is born. Tell them you need to wait to keep mom safe so she and the baby don't get sick.
     
  12. smylie1

    smylie1 DIS Veteran

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    You truely are in a tough situation, but this is not something you need to handle on your own. You MUST talk to your wife and maybe go together to talk to her doctor. Do you know for sure she is as "gung ho" over this trip since finding out she's expecting? Maybe she would feel somewhat relieved that the trip is postponed (I don't dare say cancelled!).

    Like someone else said, WDW will be there when the time is right for you to go. Some times grown-ups have to make decisions that are not very popular with the group or that they don't really want to make.

    I would talk to the DW and her doctor before deciding anything at all though. If it's a decision you make together, whether you go or not, no one can play the blame game if things don't go well.

    But I do know what you mean about not wanting to disappoint DD's. When I was pg with DS #2, I had been feeling bad all day one day. Some friends were coming over that evening who have a son my DS#1 loves to play with and hadn't seen in a long time. As the day went on, I knew I was in labor, but I WAS NOT going to the hospital until DS got to see his friend. Even though the pain had me pretty much out of commision. After they had been at our home about an hour I finally said,"I'm sorry ya'll (I'm from the south:rolleyes:) but I've GOT to go to the hospital.". We barely made it! I know that doesn't compare to a trip to WDW, but the things we do for our children!
     
  13. bumbershoot

    bumbershoot DIS Veteran

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    DH's first reaction is to always want to cancel things, too. Gets very annoying.

    If this is new news, I'd wait. Get used to it for awhile.

    Can you cancel and get money back at all? If so, when is the last you can do that? If it's tomorrow, then yes, you should figure it out fast. But if it's a month or so, then just sit on the decision for a little bit, until you can figure out how to start the conversation.

    You're from Dallas, according to your sig, so you are used to heat. Not sure what "kind" of heat, but heat all the same (not like if you were from Seattle, for instance), and that might go in favor of continuing with a modified trip.

    What about going with just the girls and your MIL? Or well maybe that would feel like she's being abandoned (if she gets as emotional as I was, it might...OR it might feel like freedom for a week...could go either way).

    I dunno, I guess I just think that eventually she is going to bring up the trip with you. She might very well be going back and forth in her own mind right now, and is trying to decide how she feels?

    Yeah, I'd say...find out how long you have where you could cancel and get your money back, and let the subject gently come up if she doesn't bring it up beforehand.

    (Different mother, but my dad's kids have an age range of 25 years...I'm the oldest and my half-sis is the youngest...interesting to have that range, to say the least!)
     
  14. Tammysue5

    Tammysue5 DIS Veteran

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    I have to commend you for being such a great daddy and husband! You are truly a considerate man. I can however, see how you would want to avoid saying the wrong thing to DW. My husband would say the same thing. (We had a surprise too... DS 21, DS16, DD 8 and SURPRISE.... DD5... and we cannot imagine our life without her! ) SO congratulations on the pending arrival.

    Having said that... I would risk it and talk with DW about it. Just share that you are so concerned "is there anything she would like to change about the vacation to make it easier on her?" This may open up communication, without having you just tell her that the Vacation is canceled or not. This leaves it open for her to share her feelings! She may or may not decide it is a good time to go! I hope all goes well! Please let us know how things are going. You are all in my thoughts.

    Me;:hippie: DH :cool2: DS :cool2: DD8 :cheer2: DD 5princess:
     
  15. Golden Rose

    Golden Rose Princess by Choice

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    I was pregnant during our last trip to WDW 3 years ago. I was very high risk - I had high blood pressure going into the pregnancy and they worried about pre-eclampsia, plus I developed gestational diabetes. I had to monitor my glucose levels closely, but I turned out to be able to control them if I was EXTREMELY careful with what I ate. Anyway, I was considered high risk from the get go, and was at my doctor's office weekly for tests for pretty much the whole pregnancy, so I know where you are coming from.

    We had a WDW trip planned for what turned out to be the 5th month of my pregnancy. My husband and my mother both wanted to cancel, but my doctor gave me the thumbs up to go, and I would have been really upset not to go on a trip that I had been looking forward to for months. They decided it was better not to upset me, since my doc had given permission. So, we went. I didn't ride many rides. (DH used my ticket to get himself extra fast passes.) I took lots of breaks in air-conditioned spaces when I could.

    To make a long story short, I collapsed from the heat at AK while waiting for the bus to pick us up. An ambulance showed up, they monitored my pulse and blood pressure for a while, gave me liquids and oxygen, and ordered me into a wheelchair for the duration of the trip. I felt funny about it, but I did as ordered, and rented motorized wheelchairs (everywhere but MK, where they were "sold out", so DH had to push me around all day in a regular wheelchair.) I didn't have any more trouble during the vacation, but needless to say, my doctor wasn't thrilled when I got home. I spent the last part of my pregnancy on half-day bed rest.

    Anyway, we have a wonderful 2 year old son now. I'm not sorry we took the trip. I am sorry I didn't take it a little easier at AK - it was just too much walking with too little air-conditioning.

    I would give your wife the choice, assuming you both clear it with her doctor first. I know I wasn't at my normal sane best during my pregnancy, and being pushed to give up the vacation I'd been planning for months definitely raised my blood pressure and caused some crying jags.

    If the trip is already paid for, can you do it as planned and find ways to budget at home so that you don't have to change it? Seriously, I would be very upset if I had to give up the Poly to stay at a value resort... Being on the monorail is such a huge convenience, and will give your wife easy access to the hotel if she wants to rest in the afternoon.
     
  16. cinderella73

    cinderella73 <font color=magenta>I stand for strollers at wdw a

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    Do both.. Take the trip and save money. I dont know how your wife feels but I think it may be good for everyone considering her health is stable. She is most likley going to be on bed rest for some part in the last trimester and with the baby it will be a while before your kids can experience it again. I am in the same situation money wise. This is what I did. I really really wanted t o stay onsite ( who doesnt) but for the money you pay you can get something that will not only leave you money toward the baby but also give you a better situation for your wife. I ended booking at Windsor Hills resort. You can a townhome for around 100 to 115 a night with 3 bedrooms and 3 baths a washer a dryer and a full size kitchen. Not that she will want to cook but with her blood sugar levels she can have some healthier options available. Plus it has a little private pool that comes with a screened in fence so the 3 year old wont go in when you are not with him. It has a cool playground with a huge castle for the kids. It will be my first visit there but everyone on here has spoken so highly of it. I can give you some links if you like. In fact one of the Dis board members has a very nice townhome there himself. And you can feel better knowing its another fellow dis forumer. You have a lot ahead of you all so enjoy yourselfs now . Btw for my 8 night stay with tax it came to 815 and that was for september as well ! Quite a savings.. And some of the townhomes are beautiful . I dont know the exact link on here . Maybe another forum member knows it. Or I can get it for you if you like.
     
  17. torinsmom

    torinsmom <font color=red>I have someone coming to scoop<br>

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    Doesn't POR have rooms that fit 5 people? Maybe you could switch there if they have availability for free dining. Although the Poly would be nice, with the monorail right there(I will never be able to afford it, but its nice to dream)

    I'm assuming your wife is 1-2 months now if you just found out, so she would be 3-4 months at that time. At least morning sickness should be behind her and she won't be in the last trimester. If she is up to it, I would go ahead with the trip, but take precautions. Get to the parks early and then take a break around 1 during the hottest part of the day. Have plenty of water on hand and if it gtes too hot, either leave the parks or find an indoor exhibit to cool off in.You are there for 9 days, which gives you plenty of time to take your time.

    As far as talking to your wife, she is probably having mixed feelings as well. Just sit down with her and see how she is feeling about it. I don't know if I'd mention the money aspect, just check to see if she thinks it will be too much for her physically.

    Did you buy the trip insurance? Isn't there a provision in there about having to cancel a trip for medical reasons? Might not be too late to add it, although I think you have to add it for your whole group.

    Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!

    MArsha
     
  18. SonicGuy

    SonicGuy Mouseketeer

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    Thanks so much. Ya'll always have such great advice. I think we have until Aug 5 to cancel, so I wouldn't make a decision until before then. We meet with the OB next Friday and have the first sonogram then as well. I am planning on bringing it up in front of him so that hopefully it will get me a buffer from her emotions! I definitely would approach her with the physical aspect for her rather than the financial aspect. The good news is that it will be right smack dab in the middle of the pregnancy which is always the easiest on her. I know she won't be able to ride a couple of her most favorite rides, and she couldn't wait to try Expedition Everest, but there is still so much for her to do. The heat won't be much of an issue, because we are used to it and the humidity around here has been through the roof this summer (17 inches of rain in two weeks will do that!).

    I think as long as the doctor is OK with it we should still go. I feel comfortable with his decision because he is extremely cautious - almost paranoid. The really ironic thing about this all is that in March we were just days away from signing on our DVC purchase when I decided we needed to back out, take one trip with DD3 and see how she handled it and whether her disabilities were going to make the trip difficult. I was not popular at home then, but DW did comment last night how glad she was we did not make that commitment.

    As to the comment about leaving DW at home and taking just my DD's at my MIL, that's a very sweet sentiment, but I would like my kids to have a daddy after September and I am afraid that "accidentally" falling in front of a monorail would not be a pleasant way to go!
     
  19. torinsmom

    torinsmom <font color=red>I have someone coming to scoop<br>

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    LOL I agree with you there! Leaving your wife at home would also make her feel worse than if the whole crew stayed home. Have a great time--with a new baby, it may be a few years before you get the chance to go again.

    Marsha
     
  20. mumom95

    mumom95 DIS Veteran

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    Congratulations on the new baby. My grandmother used to say all the best things in life are the ones that are unexpected.

    One thing I wanted to bring up (and maybe someone else did, I just skimmed over a lot of the responses) is that this doesn't have to be a stressful trip for you wife. During the heat of the day, you and your MIL could take the kids to the park, whil DW stays back at the Poly and relaxes by the pool. Or, do one of the spas do a pregnancy massage, she could enjoy that while you are at the park for a couple of hours (although, that does cost more money).

    Good luck with your decision.
     
  21. lovethecastle

    lovethecastle Mouseketeer

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    Even though your wifes emotions are scary right now just remember you two are partners.

    I saw a floor layout for the ASMu family suite,I think it was on the resorts forum on the disboards. Someone had taken pictures of the room as well. It has 2 full bathrooms & a small kitchette.

    Also, do you only rent a 1st floor rm? When you make your reservations you should tell them your child is in a wheelchair. My 15 yr is nonambulatory & we made the mistake of staying in a room on the 3rd fl (when visting family in maine) & there was a fire alarm. My husband carried my son down the stairs & a very nice man carried his chair down for us. Never again will we make that mistake.
     

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