Discussion in 'Community Board' started by Jennasis, Aug 17, 2011.
Me too, I am really sorry for laughing (with my mouth wide open). But my MIL is awesome!
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My MIL was married to husband #1 for many years and had 6 children with him. They divorced, and she married #2 and had 1 child (my husband). Fast forward, and DH and I married. After being married 2 months, she called a "family meeting" with only the children from hubby #1, to let them all know that I "couldn't have children" and "what are we going to do about it?" How would she know after 2 months, and why is it any of her business.
Another fast forward about 5 years. Hubby and I are helping her move into a new home and she takes DH aside and tells him "when are you going to divorce your wife? Your father deserves grandchildren, and it's your duty to give him some. Since your wife can't, you need to get rid of her and find one who can!" DH was so shocked, he put down the box he was carrying, found me and we immediately left. All without him saying a word to her. He didn't speak to her for many months after that.
When I finally did have a child, MIL had the nerve to act as if nothing had ever happened, and demanded to babysit. OVER MY DEAD BODY!
My future MIL hates me. I come complete with a teen with Asperger's. Fiance and I also have a 1 yr old daughter. His mother saw fit to inform him that DS and I are not her family and that DD will have to choose whose family she wants to be a part of. There is more but I don't wish to write a novel. Her latest stunt is that Fiance doesn't love her because we are going to Disney instead of to visit her. We won't be going to visit her for a very very long time.
Mine is not horrible but I think it's pretty funny.
My husband and I have been married 27 years. Earlier this year, his mom's family had some huge national family reunion in Texas (we live in California, so do my husband's family). Anyway, the inlaws loaded up the car and traveled to this reunion.
After returning, my mother in law has my husband over for lunch and gives him this bound book that was from the reunion. I guess all of the families had submitted information and photos.
1. My name is spelled wrong.
2. The photo submitted of my husband was one with his FIRST wife. They divorced 31 years ago.
This one made me LOL. For real.
I actually hope that NOBODY can top this. Cold is just a joke. Hope your DH is doing well now.
Eh. My MIL did the same thing years ago. I thought it was a bit odd but then realized she just wanted a picture of her kids. I didn't let it bother me. She still has that picture hanging of her kids and she made the right call because my BIL is now divorced.
Oh My! What did everyone in the family have to say about that??
I am lucky to have inlaws that are nice (not to say that we always get along, we don't, but they include me and aren't like the inlaws on these pages!!!)
However I do have a very good friend who is unfortunately saddled with a nasty MIL, and up until these pages, was the worst I have heard of. Here are some of the things she did:
1) For my friend's wedding, MIL dressed in sweatpants and brought a can of coke. She sat in the front row shaking it and saying loudly "I've been to better funerals." My friend's BIL and father (who is sadly deceased now) had to be physically restrained by their spouses, because they wanted to remove her from the ceremony. Oh and MIL did have other clothes to wear to the wedding, she just chose sweatpants (dirty ones) because she wanted to make a point.
2) MIL repeatedly accused friend that their first child was not her son's and went so far as to say she saw many different men go into her home so it could be any one of them.
3) When first child was born, MIL brought a gift, but insisted on seeing baby's room first. When she looked through the closet etc she said "Your kid is already too spoiled!" and left, taking her gift with her. And no she did not give them something else.
4) MIL had one of her sons running a meth lab in her house. He was convicted and sent to jail. And she has 50+ cats in her house. And smokes. And is a hoarder. She keeps asking to babysit the kids in her house. And thinks my friend is weird for refusing.
5) She once "diagnosed" cancer in her nephew by flashing a flashlight down his throat and saying because it looked black, it was cancer. My friend's husband believed her. And no the child does not have cancer, it was a cold.
3 days after my wife received a kidney and pancreas transplant, I was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive cancer. I had multiple surgeries and was unable to care for my wife as I would have liked too. My father in law said I should have just not treated the cancer (if I had waited a week or two, I wouldnt be here) and just sucked it up. When I shared with him had I waited, I would be terminal, he said I was just over reacting.
How many FIL's call you to tell you, you should have died.
Suffice it to say, we dont get along well.
Wow here I am thinking mine is the worst ever!!
So my fantastic MIL told me that my DD (5) isnt really a grandchild of hers cause we did IVF/FET to have her and didnt do it the "old fashion" way. She has never treated my child like her other granddaughters and until just his past summer my chlid didnt know what a grandmother was.
Then she got drunk (normal thing since they are all alcoholics) and decided to post all over her FB page nasty, rude, ugly and untrue things about me and my DD who who was murdered 20 years ago. Needless to say that was the last and final straw. My DH got so angry he blew up at her and we havent had to deal with her since...going on a full year now
My SIL (married to my BIL) is a piece of work in her right. We call her the Queen of Hearts - off with their heads! She is so mean, angry and manipulative that I cant even stand to be in the same room with her. My BIL is so whipped that he is actually the butt of many stories. I figure his choice to be married to her so he deserves what he gets. She will actually scream and yell at him in front of everyone and anyone. She will say things to me to think I will get mad at my DH and then gets irritate that Im not angry at him for what she told me he did. I just hate her and in my life time there has been only 2 people I could say I honestly hated..then I met these folks and my list has grown.
And one more cause it made my day my DD's first Christmas all she got was a dollar store card addressed to baby girl. Uhmm we picked out her name when I was 4 months pregnant and had never swayed from it and she was born in November..are you telling me you dont know her name. She tried to call her Lori one day as an abbreviation for Lorelei..yeah dont think so
Sorry to go on and on...but I could write a book...maybe I should make some money off these idiots!!
I'm not trying to top anyone either....I'm just relieved to hear the it's not just me that has issues with ILs.
It took a long time before I could ever tell this story, but we are in a much better place since our "big blowout" that I've been able to tell most of our story (though not many know - until now cause this IS the internet, right?! LOL!)
Anyway, I could go on and on - but I'll TRY to be brief and paint the entire picture.
DH is one of 5 - two older sisters, two younger brothers - and has felt "less loved" his entire life. Since I've been in the picture for the past 16 yrs, I have recognized that MIL and FIL always held one of the siblings "on a pedestal" (though not always the same sibling, it rotated).
MIL was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's (fast progression). As a result FIL decided they should more into a smaller house. DH and I offered to sell our house and buy theirs in case MIL wondered off and made her way back to the family home. In the meantime, I had been taking MIL grocery shopping every week. DH and I also agreed to buy FIL's small livery company, so he could work less and spend more time with MIL. All agreed.
Shorlty after we put our house on the market, I found out I was pregnant with my youngest DS. Anyway, our house sold after a few shorts months and we had to move. However, MIL and FIL hadn't even STARTED looking for a house. So MIL and FIL offered to let us live in their basement....yes I said basement! A 4 bedroom, 2 story colonial - and DH, pregnant me and our 2 young kids moved into the basement!
Fast forward 4 1/2 months (thru Thanksgiving and Christmas when DH got into a big fight with SIL and BIL)....MIL and FIL finally found a house and moved out. We finally moved up and out of the basement! Because it took so long for MIL and FIL to look for a house, we had decided not to get a mortgage yet (in case it didn't happen). BIG MISTAKE! (More on that in a bit.)
Meantime, FIL (now working for us) started deciding in the middle of his work shifts that he was going to make plans for later that day and we needed to find someone else to cover the rest of his shift. This happened multiple times. Being a small company, covering a shift meant DH or I would have to lock up the office and drive instead. This was VERY upsetting to both DH and I. Then FIL decided that he needed to spend more time with MIL - so one day he told us (the owners) that he was going to cut his hours in half, only work the few corporate mail service contracts we had but he was still going to make the same amount of money! WHAT??!!
Now that we were feuding about the business.......MIL and FIL decided to include problems with the purchase agreement for the house. AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS UGLY......(WARNING: You may want to stop reading now.)...
Wait...Before I continue, let me just remind you that at this time, I had 2 children (DD4 and DS2) and I was now 7 months pregnant, oh and having blood pressure issues (gee...I wonder why).....
It's March 5th - I'm making dinner and the doorbell rings. When I open the door, the gentleman hands me a paper and says "You've been served." .......With what you ask? AN EVICTION NOTICE!!!
I immediately called DH hysterical. Instead of coming home, DH drove to MIL/FIL's home and FIRED FIL.
We changed the locks on the house (for fear of FIL coming in anytime he wanted to), found a small apartment and moved out by the end of that month. We haven't spoken to any of them since. They have never met DS8.
Four years ago, we moved 2hrs away from them because of DH's job so we really don't have to worry about running into them anywhere. (Though we still visit my family back there.)
DH still talks with his aunt - MIL's sister. She told him that when he was growing up, she always tried to pay more attention to DH because she knew he wasn't getting attention and love at home. How sad is that?
My kids don't know the story behing why we don't talk to them anymore. And the only one that even remembers them is DD.
And though everything we went thru sucked.....we are sooooo much better off without them. Every party, gathering and just everyday life is so much less stressfull without having to deal with my ILs!!
Kindred spirits one and all!
To answer the earlier question...no, MIL is not invited to ride out the zombie-apocalypse at our "compound". I might tether her to the stop sign up on the corner to lure them away from the house...then again, she's so bitter, and unpleasant I don't think even the zombies would eat her.
So remember that antique store she just opened (with what money?? I have no idea)? So she's stocking the store with her many antiques, some of which she's been storing in one of our barns. She calls up Dh and announces that she will be taking the dining room set to put in the shop. What dining room set, you ask? OURS. The one she GAVE us 8 1/2 years ago when we moved in to our home and is IN MY DINING ROOM. She'd like if back to sell in her new store, please.
For real?? Yes...for real.
So not only does she TAKE MY FURNITURE FROM MY HOUSE...she does it at 6am in the morning, while I am away at a horse show and DH is asleep. She lets herself and some guy she found on Craigslist (not her bf) to help her move the heavy furniture, IN TO MY HOME WITHOUT PERMISSION. Dh hears noises downstairs and runs down to see what's going on and finds MIl and two strange men rummaging through our diningroom.
Not only did she take the furniture, she also asked for a set of vases that I had sitting on the buffet/hutch. She had given those to me as a bridal shower gift 6 years ago when Dh and I were getting married. She said "Since you aren't using them..."
Ummm..no, I don't have flowers in them at the moment but I was displaying them. Guess that's not "using" them.
FTR, right after she walked out the door with the strangers, we changed the locks.
Also, she kicked out HER father, who is an invalid (had a stroke and is unable to speak and paralyzed on his entire left side) out of her house because she was tired of taking care of him. She KICKED HIM OUT...but kept his handicapped parking placard because she broke her knee back in March and still feels she needs it more than he does. More than the wheelchair bound man (who now lives with his youngest son who relocated from NY to NC to come care for his father). MIL still tries to dictate how her brother cares for their dad though. He brother doesn't take her crap though. He's awesome.
MIL also refused to give her father his old black and white wedding portrait when she kicked him out. She claimed "It's mine!"...even though it's the only pic the man has of him and his deceased wife. Luckily the son caring for him had a copy of the picture, and put it in a lovely frame for his dad. MIL saw the new pic, decided it was in better condition than the one she refused to give up and demanded they give her the better one. Her brother laughed at her.
Don't forget...she thinks her dog is her deceased husband.
These stories are just heartbreaking I don't understand why some people need to treat others the way they do, especially when it is family!
I have been the lucky DIL of 2 MIL's who didn't like me. Both decided this without meeting me, so I firmly believe it was their own issue and not mine.
MIL#1 kept up a large picture (hung on the wall) of ex and his prom date the entire time we were married and refused to have any pics of me in the house.
MIL & FIL #1 were so mad while I was pregnant that they only spoke to me 3 times during that time... one of those times was to tell me at a huge family gathering that the names ex told them we had picked out were "ridiculous".
MIL#1 asked me to call her and FIL instead of the police when ex was in a mood (as she called it) because we all lived in a small town and they didn't want people to know he was abusing me.
They dropped DD and I from their insurance (ex worked for them in a small family business and that was to be one of his benefits) so that we had none, but made sure to keep their daughter who did not work for them and lived 2,000 miles away under their coverage.
There were many others, but those are the ones that stand out to me.
With MIL#2 it was a constant negative stream until she passed away. She refused to meet me while DH and I were dating because I was divorced with a child (she was on her 4th marriage with 7 kids by 3 different dads ). I finally met her one month before we were married and only because she demanded DH come for Thanksgiving and he told her he wouldn't leave me home alone on a holiday.
We were married at Christmas and she showed up at the open house (we had a courthouse wedding with an open house reception afterwards) loaded for bear. She was so nasty in the video that we don't watch it at all.
When our son was born premature and passed away shortly after birth she refused to come for his funeral and told me that we wasted his name on a child who would never use it (we named him after DH and I) and she told me that my son dying wasn't as bad as her son dying (DH had an older brother who passed away before DH was born) because our son was just a baby.
The next year I was pregnant with DD and placed on bed rest in October, and put into the hospital in November (baby was due in February). She was livid we couldn't travel at Thanksgiving. By Christmas I had been in the hospital a month and she wanted him to leave me there and come home (2hours away) to spend Christmas with her He refused and again she was livid and said I had plenty of people to look after me and didn't need him there.
The 1st time I said I wanted to spend an actual holiday with my family (we have a laid back family and usually get together for a late holiday) was 10 years into our marriage. She was so mad! The next holiday she called DH and asked if we would be coming and he said he didn't know yet, she yelled into the phone that we had "spent the last one with HER family and now we had to come home for this one". After spending nearly every holiday there for 10 years (except when I was in the hospital) she actually had the nerve to be mad that we spent one with my family, and she called me HER instead of using my name
My oldest DD had the unlucky honor of being the ONLY step-grandchild in the family and was always treated very differently than the other grandkids. Then when younger DD came along she was treated a bit better, but she was still my daughter so that meant she wasn't up to the level of the regular grandkids, and she certainly would never reach the level of the "golden grandkids". MIL also only visited the grave of our son 1 time and only because she was in our car and we gave her no choice in going.
MIL only stayed at our house 1 night in all those years, and younger DD was in a play that same night. We asked MIL to go with us (she had never gone to anything for either of our DD's and we only lived 2 hours away, yet she had traveled 9 hours one way to see the golden grandson play hockey several times). She told us no and that she wanted to just sit at our home to relax that evening, so we went without her. Got home later that night and there was an extra car in the driveway, MIL had called golden grandson the moment we left (he lived in our town at the time) and asked him to come over and sit with her because we had left her home alone
I could go on and on... MIL has been gone a few years and sadly her daughter (my SIL) has taken over for her now on being the negative one and demanding everyone be there for every holiday... ah, the joys of IL's.
Kindred spirits indeed! I think the saving grace is we are (mostly) able to laugh at how ridiculous their behaviour is! I do feel really bad for DH as they aren't getting any younger. I hate that they have treated their only son so poorly that he feels almost nothing towards them any longer. Really sad. Oh, did I mention that the last time the junkie sister called she relayed to DH that his mom was revising her will (for what I don't know - they have nothing of value) and she needed his social security number to give to the insurance company. Why? DH asked. She was taking out a huge insurance policy on FIL and naming DH beneficiary- so he would be "able to take care of his mother in her time of need."
Yeah, that went over real well
I've been moaning and groaning because the in-laws are making their once a year trip home in a couple weeks and thinking why must they always come as school is starting and everything gets crazy busy??? They also are aces for causing a great deal of hurt feelings with my dh and kids.
However, I guess I am glad that they are not nearly as bad as some of you have to deal with. My MIL may be obsessed with my niece, but she does at least act as though my kids do exist.
Well I'd better get back to cleaning for the 10 minutes of the 2-3 week trip that the IL's might actually set foot in our home.
WOW you take the cake for have a wacky mil
I would have never let her take the dining room set or vases though. So glad you changed the locks.
And that would have been just fine with me if FIL had made his intentions known from the beginning. Instead, he invited us both down, told us both to bring nice clothes, saw me all dressed up and ready for the picture, and then waited until we arrived at the session to let me know I wasn't going to be in the pictures. It was like he wanted to go out of his way to let me know he didn't consider me a part of the family. Had we taken a bunch of shots all together, and then he asked me to step out so they could take a few pictures of his immediate family, I would have totally understood. But, he had no intention of including me at all, and if my DH hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have been.
I am showing this thread to my future & she will kiss my feet after she stops lauging!!!
I am the Mom to an only son & only child you would think I would be that Mil but no way! I love my future Dil & if she Wasn't marrying my DS we would still be friends. We hang out & have not single problem.
Luckily my DS feels the same way about her Mom.
I feel for all of you!!!
I will share a few things. I am no longer married to the man, and both his parents have passed on. But I should have realized what I got myself into. I will share I was hit by MIL and husband watched and did nothing. They lived with us too. Husband also instigated the issue. And another time moving from one area and came back we were made to live in the garage as they did not want the smell of diapers in the house. I have to say my life from the family has never gotten better either. I would rather share my story in a different light. But those were just a few issues. I am sorry for everyone who goes through all this.
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