My 13yr old doesn't want to go now???

[KSDisneyDad]

This isn't about our schools not wanting them to go... They are OK with it...my teens JUST DON'T WANT TO GO!!! I did give them the experience I never had with our first cruise, I thought they would want to go again,They complained the whole time.Oldest 15 doesn't want to leave her friends or school. My 13yr old doesn't want to make up work and said even if she didn't have to make it up she still wouldn't want to go. THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO GO . I was just asking if anyone else's teens didn't want to go with them .... I always thought this was a considerate forum....geez

For the most part, it's been a considerate discussion. I found out a long time ago, that not everyone agrees with my opinions. I don't take it personally anymore and actually enjoy a good debate, and these boards usually keep personal attacks out of it. Your original post was obviously interpreted quite differently than you intended by most everyone on here. It seemed to be more of a question about missing schoolwork than simply not wanting to go. It sounds like your question would still apply even if you could go during the summer.

Anyway, to answer your question. Nope. Our teens love going on vacations with us as a family. We cherish these times together. They actually prefer cruises over WDW as they get some time "away" from Mom & Dad as well as getting to spend some time together on excursions, at dinners, shows, etc. They can't wait to go on the Fantasy and are actually disappointed we postponed our "Dream" vacation in 2011 to wait until 2012 for a 7-night cruise. We're going to WDW in 2011 with my parents and they think it's great that Grandma and Grandpa are joining us.

I think your teens will be disappointed in the long run. Is there anything else that you can do as a family that they'd enjoy such as a trip to the Beach, Mountains, etc.?

 

[breakingd_awn]

I have asked them if they would do a Carnival cruise .They said they just didn't like "family vacations" . With my two youngest ones I would rather not take them on a Carnival , I just don't think it's little kid friendly....just an assumption though, never been on Carnival before. Just getting that info from here. We used to go camping too never out of state though, when I was a teen I opted out of going. I did not want to go camping with my parents. yuck.

 

[Anal Annie]

I have asked them if they would do a Carnival cruise .They said they just didn't like "family vacations" . With my two youngest ones I would rather not take them on a Carnival , I just don't think it's little kid friendly....just an assumption though, never been on Carnival before. Just getting that info from here. We used to go camping too never out of state though, when I was a teen I opted out of going. I did not want to go camping with my parents. yuck.

I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details. Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

 

[jjgarv]

why ..why would any parent take there kids out of school for a vacation. just because its cheaper or its better for the parents to go doesn't make it right.

school first...vacation second...

While this may be a clear-cut, right/wrong issue in your mind doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone else. It's great that you have established the priorities for your family, but different families have different priorities. We all must make decisions and do what is best for our own families. What is abundantly clear is that this is one topic that folks feel strongly about both ways...most likely because they feel that those on the other side are judging them. Live and let live, people. Parenting is hard enough...

 

[breakingd_awn]

The cost of a summer vacation is one factor we must consider too. That's why we don't cruise every year like a lot of DISers but rather about once every 3 years and we try to book SPH cabins. We take a long time inbetween to save & plan - and we're only 3 people. It's still a lot for our measley budget. This next time we're taking advantage of a rebooking discount that we pushed & moved over & over until we felt we could afford to use it. Just a suggestion for next time. Rebook onboard for the discount & OBC - book a dummy date & keep moving it forward until you CAN afford to go when the whole family can go with other obligations weighing you down.

BTW you're not the only one who didn't grow up with major family vacations. My family tent camped & fished for a week on the South Branch of the Potomac river EVERY FREAKIN' summer when I was kid - finally when I was in HS my parents sprung for a 17' camper. WHOO HOO - no more wet sleeping bags or outhouses. This did not make up for the fact that I still hated camping & fishing - especially by the time I was about 16. But no matter how bad I hated it NOT going was NOT an option. I'm just saying... Most of us have been there in one way or another.

I do plan on booking a "dummy date" next year and cruising every other year , then maybe we would be able to do something different.But they still probably wouldn't want to go. Sometimes it sucks when your kids grow up

 

[breakingd_awn]

I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details. Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

I agree I left out details especially when they thought she was staying with a boyfriend I just didn't want it to be a long winded post. Just a simple question about teens not wanting to go. I should have been more clear. But that said her main reason was school and she said she also just didn't want to go. I know peole weren't personally attacking me , A few just made me feel bad for not having the money to go on vacation in the summer.

 

[momx2]

I don't think anyone was trying to make you feel bad about not being able to afford the summer. Vacations in the summer don't have to be an expensive Disney cruise.

I'm trying to look at it from your DDs' perspectives. First, they didn't really like it the first time, but you rebooked anyway. Second, they have to make up all the work for something they don't want to do. I wouldn't want to go either. I still think you should plan a vacation that your older girls would like, maybe there isn't one at this point, but I would ask them to help you plan a vacation the next time.

 

[scamper45]

Twinge of pain & anxiety just thinking about my DD telling me someday that she doesn't want to go. DD is 6, and we are getting ready to set sail on her 7th DCL. Yep, she is spoiled. In fact, we aren't even telling her this time, just surprising her. Our DD is an only, so this family vacation works perfect for us as she spends time with kids her own age. We are actually taking her out of school for a week (did it last year too). While she is only in 1st grade, the accelerated pace of her work, we have already made arrangements to get her work ahead of time to do on the ship.

Whatever decision you make for your family is the one that will work. I can respect a teen not wanting to fall behind in school work...that would make me very proud as a parent. If you have a responsible adult/family willing to take them in for the week, it may be the best experience for all.

My Mom just passed away in June, and my Dad is within his final days as well. My fondest memories that I have been recollecting are the family vacations...yes, the ones I didn't necessarily want to go on. These memories are something to carry me through the hard days. I remember not wanting to go camping in some of the National Parks out west...now these are memories I will cherish forever!

Good luck!

I can so relate with u. I have an only who is almost 13 she still gets excited about Disney. We leave 11/20 on the magic and she is taking a friend this time! My fondest memories of growing up were all the trips! My first trip after my father passed was to disney and my daughter was not even 2. Since than we have been to WDW more times than i can count, Disneyland 5 times and this is our sixth disney cruise. Her 7th grade Language arts project was on Walt Disney! It is a truly Magical experience.....and your kids will thank u someday for all the memories!

 

[grlzmom]

While this may be a clear-cut, right/wrong issue in your mind doesn't mean that it's the same for everyone else. It's great that you have established the priorities for your family, but different families have different priorities. We all must make decisions and do what is best for our own families. What is abundantly clear is that this is one topic that folks feel strongly about both ways...most likely because they feel that those on the other side are judging them. Live and let live, people. Parenting is hard enough...

I'm in agreement here

 

[Mindyjoy]

Just my two cents on this matter ... when I was this age, starting at around 13 or 14, I refused to go on any family vacations, partly because I totally thought my parents were, like, SO UNCOOL, but also because I had two very little brothers (9 and 12 years younger than me, respectively) and quite frankly I didn't really care for them. haha. I love my brothers now, though.

Anyway, my parents let me stay home alone ONLY because my grandparents lived four houses down from us, and my family was never gone for more than 3 or 4 nights.

The moral of the story is, now I wished they had forced me to go with them. I can't afford or have the time to take many vacations (next year will be my first vacation in 5 years), and my parents go on trips now and don't invite their kids!

Now that I'm older I wish I had spent more time with my family, since I rarely see them now.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do or how to run their family, I just wanted to share my perspective.

 

[KSDisneyDad]

Just my two cents on this matter ... when I was this age, starting at around 13 or 14, I refused to go on any family vacations, partly because I totally thought my parents were, like, SO UNCOOL, but also because I had two very little brothers (9 and 12 years younger than me, respectively) and quite frankly I didn't really care for them. haha. I love my brothers now, though.

Anyway, my parents let me stay home alone ONLY because my grandparents lived four houses down from us, and my family was never gone for more than 3 or 4 nights.

The moral of the story is, now I wished they had forced me to go with them. I can't afford or have the time to take many vacations (next year will be my first vacation in 5 years), and my parents go on trips now and don't invite their kids!

Now that I'm older I wish I had spent more time with my family, since I rarely see them now.

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do or how to run their family, I just wanted to share my perspective.

Thank you for posting this. I agree with you completely. Unfortunately, life isn't full of a lot of do-overs!

 

[college_student]

I agree with KSDisneyDad - it sounds like your original post was lacking in some details. Like I said in my last post, NOT going was NOT an option when I was growing up. Family vacations were family vacations regardless of how elaborate (or not) that they were. Kids these days get too much freedom & parents give in too easily. They know all they have to do is whine a little bit & they get their way. If my kid whines & he gets a double dose of whatever it is he's whining about. 13 is too young for you to give in. She needs to accept that YOU ARE THE MOM. Try not planning any more vacations & see how she likes sitting home 52 weeks a year.

I find this thread absolutely interesting. As you may have guessed, I am a college student. I'm a junior in a state university going into elementary education in Michigan. This is just to give a little background knowledge of my perspective of the taking-the-kids-out-of-school-for-a-week issue.

While I can understand the desire for a family vacation for a week, even when sacrificing school for it, I do not agree with it. School is far too important for students to miss. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be taken out for a day if they're sick. They should because you don't want to spread the sickness onto other kids. I'm saying it's wrong to take the kids out for a week for a vacation. There are plenty of options for a family vacation during the summer. If the family cannot afford DCL during the summer, then there are other cheaper options for cruises (Carnival and Royal Caribbean). My family went on Carnival and Royal Caribbean cruises for a few years because we wanted to have family time together, but we couldn't afford to take a DCL vacation during the summer and I wasn't going to take a week out of school. If cruises are still not an option for you, go to the beach. Go camping. There are other cheaper options that don't involve taking your kids out of school for a week during the school year.

Beyond this, I just wanted to point out one other thing that my title alludes to. Parents are always complaining about their teenagers "not caring" about school or the world. It's always "my kid's such an idiot" or "my kid's too worried about her boyfriend to care about school". Parents of teenagers know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying it's not warranted. Sometimes teenagers just do pretty stupid things. However, in this case, it seems like this woman's daughter actually cares about her schoolwork. She doesn't have her head in the clouds. Even when her teachers tell her it's okay to miss school, she still wants to. Boy, do I wish I saw that kind of maturity in high schoolers today!!! It's amazing! And what are some parents on this board doing? They're saying that the mom ultimately makes the decision and what do kids want today. Instead of crying for joy because they're kid actually cares about school, and trying to make alternative arrangements for the family vacation during a more appropriate time, they're yelling about their kid. As a student, I can't believe that. I have always been told to put my schoolwork before anything. Now, the moment that a kid does, and a parent should be overjoyed because they normally complain about their kid, instead they're angry because they don't know what the kid wants. Huh??? Someone please explain this to me. I blame this on parental inconsistencies. Instead of being overjoyed that their teenager actually cares about school, they're mad because the teenager doesn't want to miss school because of vacation.

Don't get me wrong. I am a huge supporter of family vacations. Even as a college student, during the one week between spring and summer semesters, I still continue to take a cruise vacation with my family. However, does it conflict with my school??? No. We make sure it doesn't. We have fun when it's appropriate. I truly understand why breakingd_awn wants to have a family vacation. However, I believe she needs to reexamine her priorities.

 

[kylieh]

If your DD feels it's too tough to make up the work then it isn't fair on her. It's not a day, but a week. Plus the packing, time zone changes (assuming) etc.

A different perspective - put her fare from this and future years towards a trip, a mum and daughter trip, for when she finished high school, or a future summer vacation.

 

[pearlieq]

School is far too important for students to miss.

Some things are more important than school.

Also, for some students, school isn't all that important--at least not for the occasional week.

 

[college_student]

Some things are more important than school.

Also, for some students, school isn't all that important--at least not for the occasional week.

I'm not trying to be rude here, but that's the kind of attitude that has the US slipping in worldwide education ratings worldwide. Globally, the US education system is very low. Why? One of the major reasons is because of the attitude that school isn't all that important- at least not for the occasional week. Tell that to a Japanese student. Japan has one of the best education systems in the world. In Japan, "Except for the lower grades of elementary school, it is usual to average 6 hours of school a day on weekdays, one of the longest school days in the world. Even after school lets out, the children have drills and other homework to keep them busy. Vacations are 6 weeks in the summer and about 2 weeks each for winter and spring breaks. There is often homework over these vacations" About.com The Japanese Education System - Education in Japan
I can guarantee you that Japanese students aren't taking a week off to go on a Disney cruise. Once again, parental inconsistencies.

Look for some overall worldwide education statistics. They're all over the internet. Unfortunately, I can't post the URL because I haven't had 10 posts.

 

[Mindyjoy]

College_student, with all respect I disagree with you. If planned ahead and discussed with the teachers, missing one week of school will have little effect on the student's education. Some people cannot afford to take vacations over spring break or summer while rates are sky high. I am a little older than college age, but I am currently a senior in college and I also work full time. Sometimes I have to miss class due to my job or family responsibilities and I still have a 4.0 GPA. Life happens. If handled responsibily, it will be okay.

And for the record, I would be willing to bet money that OP's DD is using missing school as an excuse because she simply doesn't want to go on vacation with her family. No offense, OP. I'm sure DD is a good student and it WOULD take a bit of extra work to stay caught up in class, but it wouldn't be a DISASTER.

 

[sunkisser]

It must be a horrible situation for you knowing your daughter doesn't want to go, whatever the reasons are. I think you have to decide if you will have a fun time without her, or whether you could put up with the sulking if she goes.
In the UK we don't really have the option of taking them out during school time any more (although it does vary from school to school). Our school sent out a letter the other day stating that they will not give permission for vacations unless it is exceptional circumstances. If we don't have permission the local education authority can fine us (around $100 per child) for every week they are away! My DDs are in 5th and 7th grade!

 

[pearlieq]

Look--passion is great, but don't let it devolve into myopia.

I would not want to live like a Japanese student, nor would I particularly want that for my child. There are as many downsides as upsides.

There is more to life than work and school. There is more than studying and tests and the comfortable bubble of a daily routine. A child needs to learn to balance all of their priorities and to think critically about their own choices, not just slavishly follow.

I certainly don't need about.com and Googled statistics to evaluate an individual child's situation. There are definitely kids who are struggling who should never be taken out of school. And I don't necessarily agree with taking a child out often, but I still maintain that a week out in the world is at least as educational as a week in class.

But what would I know, given that I was taken out of school several times as a kid? I in no way won a full academic scholarship and became a productive citizen. No...I'm just the dumbest member of my prison gang...and I'm also responsible for the educational decline of America.

 

[loveadobie]

Good post college student. What you said is very true. There is a decline with our US rankings globally in science, math, and reading. Probably not surprising that so many US companies are outsourcing.

 

[Mindyjoy]

No...I'm just the dumbest member of my prison gang...and I'm also responsible for the educational decline of America.

Good post college student. What you said is very true. There is a decline with our US rankings globally in science, math, and reading. Probably not surprising that so many US companies are outsourcing.

Companies are outsourcing to save money (or pay their CEO's that much more money), not because there is a lack of educated workers in America.