My 12 yr old wants to bring a friend

Discussion in 'Disney for Families' started by 3happydancers, Jan 23, 2010.

  1. 3happydancers

    3happydancers DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,802
    I need some input from my knowledgeable friends on the board. My 12 year old daughter wants to bring a friend to Disney this year. She is an only child so she does not have siblings to share the fun. I was thinking this is a good age but I would like to hear from those of you who have experienced this idea. Your input is greatly appreciated!!!:dance3:
     
  2. Avatar

    Google AdSense Guest Advertisement


    to hide this advert.
  3. okeydokey

    okeydokey Frosty the Snowman scared me as

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2006
    Messages:
    9,495
    If you can afford the extra expense and the girl and your DD will get along for the whole trip then I think it's a great idea. She will probably enjoy it more with a friend.
     
  4. Baylorwhite1

    Baylorwhite1 Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Messages:
    15
    We took a friend of mine when I was 13 (my sister is about three years younger than me) and we had a great time...needs to be a close friend!!!
     
  5. CrAzY4DL

    CrAzY4DL Mommy, you magic-ed my heart!

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2007
    Messages:
    648
    When DD10 was 6 we took her and her 6 year old cousin to Disneyland for 3 days. NOT good times (two totally different personalities plus DD was sick and cranky). When she turned 10 in August, we took one of her best friends for 4 days (3 days in park) and it. was. amazing. Like, AMAZING. What do you need to know beforehand?
    1. How well do you know this kid? Is the dynamic between your DD and her friend a good one or is there often drama?
    2. What kind of personality does the friend have? What kind of personality does your DD have?

    For example, DD's friend, lets call her J, had spent the night at our house a few times and I also volunteer in their class once a week and eat lunch with them that day as well so I felt we knew J very well. J is VERY relaxed and laid back and not very loud, and DD10 is not so relaxed and was very nervous on some rides (liked the rides but was nervous before getting on them). J was completely go with the flow which worked for DD AND had been to DL before and she wasn't afraid of any of the rides. On the other hand, DD has been to DL tooooo many times to count and is afraid of Tower of Terror and Screamin', but J was just all, whatever. LOL. J helped to keep DD calm(ish!) and then when they wanted to ride Splash 4 times in a row, we were able to just let them go on their own and wait at the exit (absolutely no line 10 minutes before park closing, LOL). So, I highly recommend it but it might not have worked with a different friend. Also, J never once got homesick or crying that she missed her mom, so you might want to take that into consideration.
     
  6. DW2010

    DW2010 DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2009
    Messages:
    893
    My Dh was able to bring a friend along when he was 14, and he had a great time! I say go for it if you can afford it and if the friend is a close friend you trust :).
     
  7. 3happydancers

    3happydancers DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,802
    Thanks for the replies!!! Keep them coming, the more imput the better. I have considered personalities. The person we were considering happens to live across the street from us and we have known the family for several years. The kids are in the same grade, go to the same school, and spend lots of time together. This childs family and I have a great trust for each other. We share watching each others children. As far as my daughter's friend getting home sick, I believe this would not be an issue. Her friend is very use to traveling without parents for weeks at a time to the Ukraine to visit cousins. Her friend is well behaved, extremely polite, and abides by rules.

    I was thinking of the cost factor. We have a DVC so the room is already paid for and my husband and I would consider paying for either the childs airfare or meals. When we speak to my daughter's friends parents we were thinking of asking them to provide the park ticket and either the airfare OR the meals. I do know this would create an expense for the family but I would also let them know that if this was not an option that we would in no way be offended. At this time, I do not think I can afford to pay for everything for the child.

    Is it appropriate to invite someone but then ask them to pay for part of the trip or should I be prepare to pay in full because I am doing the inviting?
     
  8. littlbugmom

    littlbugmom DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    593
    It sounds like taking this friend would work out well. :thumbsup2


    We took my niece with us the first time. Different situation because she's family, I know......but I could not have asked my sister if we could take her daughter with us and then ask her to pay for part of the trip. I just couldn't do it. We invite, we pay. That's how I see it.
     
  9. wdwmom0f3

    wdwmom0f3 Thankful my embarrassing tag is gone!

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2008
    Messages:
    7,990
    We have done this twice and both times I spoke to the parents before talking to the child, because of the expense. I know that there are people who pay all expenses, but with three children of my own, it's not in the budget. :laughing: We always paid for the rooms and some meals. Once we went on the dining plan and I paid 1/2 of it for her, because I saved with a discount code on the rooms. The other time we went el cheapo and her mom sent her money for everything. I did pay for the meals coming & going to Fl. Each time they had to buy thier own park ticket but I wish that I could have, but at the time I couldn't.

    We really enjoyed taking another child with us to Disney. With three children, it just evened everything out, just like it would for you. :)
     
  10. ireland_nicole

    ireland_nicole <font color=green>No brainer- the fairy wins it<br

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2008
    Messages:
    4,153
    I think as long as you talk to the parents privately, before getting the girls excited, and am clear that you would love for her to come with you, and could contribute the cost of hotel, meals, etc. but would need them to cover xyz, etc. it would be fine. There needs to be clear communication at the beginning, but it can work well. I would advise to ask them to cover fixed expenses, not meals, because you can't really know for sure in advance what that will cost, and you don't want them (or her) worrying about it during the trip.
     
  11. tlh0726

    tlh0726 DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,442
    This has been discussed on quite a few time. Majority of the posters responses were if you do the inviting then you should be prepared to pay in full. If the other parents offer to pay for something than you can accept their offer. So if you cannot afford to pay don't ask the other child to go.
     
  12. LauraAnn630

    LauraAnn630 See you in April 2011!

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,699
    My best friends family took me to DL with them. They paid for everything. We had an amazing time! It was very generous of them. I think of that trip at least once a week! I dont know if they even understand how much it really meant to me they took me with them. This was 25 years ago. I lost contact with this friend but I know where her dad lives and Im going to stop by and tell him how much I appreciate them taking me with them and get her phone number!
     
  13. 3happydancers

    3happydancers DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,802
    Thanks. I know that I have read in the past where some of the expenses had been shared but I wasn't sure what was truely acceptable.

    I was thinking about asking the child's parents to pay for the park ticket, but now I am not so sure. The room is covered, we are DVC members, airfare is reasonable, about 200.00 RT which we can swing, and we haven't decided what to do for meals. We usually take the meal plan which is 42.99 a day. We could scale down and take the QS meal plan which I think is about 32.00 a day. Our room does have a kitchen but I prefer not to cook on my vacation. I would just stock cold cereal an maybe some muffins or bagels for breakfast but eat out during the day.

    Any additional advise is greatly appreciated!!!:dance3:
     
  14. Zookeeperof4

    Zookeeperof4 Mouseketeer

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2009
    Messages:
    309
    I am considering this myself. We stayed at the POR last trip. This time we might consider All star Family Suite though. I have three kids my son is the oldest and often was the odd man for the rides. Daddy just agreed to take a return trip so I have not approached him with my thoughts yet. There is only one kid who I would consider taking with us and his family is a bit like us...sheltering..LOL
    I did price it just to see what the costs would be. Its actually not that much more. Last trip my son was 9 so he was considered the kid...his meals and park passes were cheaper. Even with adding an extra night, his raised costs as he will be 12 when we travel and a 6th kid who is also considered the adult pass as he will be 15....it only added 500$ in costs. So not terribly excessive.
    My issue would be the transporation....we drive. and I have a sedan. So unless we buy a 7 seater within the next year (which I would LOVE!!!!) dont know how it would work.

    Things I would ask them to cover.....his own spending money for soulveniers. WE would get the plan with the TS and QS....we found it offered plenty the last trip. We would cover any extra snack he wanted...as we found we didnt have to spend to much OOP with that plan..of course we shared drinks and I would not expect him to drink off my straw..LOL But a bottled drink wasnt that bad in cost so no biggie.

    I may consider buying him pins to do pin trading. My son enjoyed that last trip. As far as rides..he has been to WDW a few times and is going this year. However he has never stayed onsite and they have never done character meals...so for him it might be that awesome experience to remember.

    Im subbing to this thread...Id love to see other thoughts.
     
  15. mjkacmom

    mjkacmom DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    16,442
    I might ask for money for the park tickets, but I would pay for the meal plan if I chose to go that route - if I'm inviting someone anywhere, I will feed them. I'm sure they don't spend $43 a day to feed him at home.
     
  16. disneylovin24

    disneylovin24 ~Let It Go~

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,849
    As an only child my parents never let me bring friends with me to disney. We went on vacations to be a family, not for them to hang out and me to run off with a friend. Your daughter gets plenty of time a year to hang with her friends, this is the week that she should spend with her family:goodvibes
     
  17. DCbride

    DCbride DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,418
    We have done this on 3 different trips. Each time I spoke with the parent and told them that we would enjoy having ___ join us on our family vacation but while Disney provides a lot of fun, it does cost quite a lot. Would you mind paying for ____ and I would be happy to cover ____? I have not had one parent say no. You are taking their child on a vacation that the child would not be going on, or if their whole family went it would cost 3x,4x, etc the amount. I basically ask the parent to cover air, tickets and send some money to cover a character meal or two. I paid for the room and all counter service. it worked out great. In fact one year both kids brought a friend and the trip was so much fun and the invted kids actually come home with money.

    (Now, if we decide to do something extra last minute I covered it- like last fall we added a hopper)
     
  18. MrsJones

    MrsJones Earning My Ears

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2007
    Messages:
    67
    I am an only child and let me tell you how much it meant to me that my family invited other children to come along on our trips. I loved having someone my own age to talk to, to point things out to, to compare and just giggle with. It didn't take away from the time I spent with my family, but it was great for both of us. The things my mom or nana or grandpa didn't want to do, we could do and they could rest or have a snack and just sit in one spot while we did what we wanted to. Or they came on stuff too and we just took turns sitting with each other.

    Now I have 5 kids, :confused3 and we don't have much room for others. I did just have my first grandbaby who will start traveling with us soon. I have made separate day trips for my 11 year old son to take a friend somewhere or my 8 year old daughter to take a friend ( the others are 22, 20 and 1 so they either don't come anymore or don't know they can ask to bring one, lol) and it's alot of fun for them. I don't feel like we feel left out at all.

    I have never asked for money, but I haven't gone that long either. If someone invited one of my children on vacation I would NOT be insulted if they just asked for ticket price. Hopefully they offer. I am sure the girls would have a ball. I know I did !!!

    Good luck, Tamara
     
  19. 3happydancers

    3happydancers DIS Veteran

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,802
    Thanks for sharing how much it meant to you to be allowed to bring a friend with you on your trips. I do understand and respect those who believe that a family trip is for family only, not friends, but for us, my heart tells me otherwise. This does not mean I would allow our child and her friend to go off to do whatever. We would still do all things together. My husband and I are big kids at heart and we would not want to miss the fun. However, I do believe that my daughter needs to have someone her own age to converse with, laugh with, and to build memories with. We would not choose just any child to take. We have certain standards and the one my daughter is wanting to ask is someone we have known for several years. We are friends with the family, believe in the same values and the kids get along great. They are the best of friends.


    Thanks for everyones input. My friends on the boards have been a great help guiding me!!!!! If anyone has something to add, Please Do!
     
  20. luvmy3

    luvmy3 <font color=green>When I drink I find its easier t

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    20,052
    I think its great that you want to bring a friend for your dd to share her vacation with. I know that we consider dd's bff part of our family and she would always be welcome to come with us. I'm sure your dd and her friend will remember this trip forever.
     
  21. Pixieflip

    Pixieflip Are we there yet?

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,136
    As an only child, I too appreciated when my parents let me travel with a friend. I never had anyone to hang with, every single day of life at home I was only with adults. What a treasure it was to do something, even if only our local theme park, with a friend! :goodvibes

    Now as a parent of 4 kids, I can't even imagine adding to the chaos, but it has been voiced as a request from my older ones. We'll see...
     

Share This Page