Paul Simon: “50 Ways to Leave your Lover”
Now the title of the song is not really specific to this day as much as the lyrics are…I kept thinking “Get off the Bus, Gus…and set yourself free” with this day.
Background: It’s an oversight to not realize that budget is key to this trip….so, my lengthy hours spent scouring TripAdvisor, various cruise reports, travel forums should account for something. I had hard and firm facts from locals/repeat travelers and felt armed with the necessary information to travel throughout St. Maarten. In fact, I had reserved a 5 passenger Jeep but the week before decided to cancel because it would be cheaper to take the buses throughout the island. I was in commando mode and ready to navigate our way to Serafina’s (most talked about French Patisserie-known for chocolate croissants) in Marigot (capital of French side) and to Maho Beach…the notable airplane landing strip on the beach. I had even checked out incoming flights and knew that they were scheduled for 11:15am and 1:20…I was READY!! Bring it on!!
We let the kids sleep in this day because there really was no rush, we might be on the island 4 hours tops. So, around 10am I ask them to deliver the 36 bags of goodies we were giving to our Fish Extender families. Honestly, I thought I made it clear it was ONE bag per stateroom. You can imagine my surprise when our three industrious offspring arrive back at our stateroom within 20 minutes of having left. I was so surprised they had made it through 10 floors of rooms!! Pleased we could get off the ship that much quicker, I asked them how they managed that kind of time. They said it was easy, but that they only covered 2 floors b/c they ran out of bags…WHOA!!! Ran out??? How is that possible?? I hand packed each and every 150+ zip lock baggie of goodies and knew there was one per stateroom…
Child #2: “One per stateroom??? We put one in each pocket!!”
Mom #1: “What?? Okay, let’s regroup, Grumpy you hit the top floor, kids you hit the next one take the extras out and just start putting them in any FE you find.”
We frantically ran up and down stairs, down corridors..my goodness, some corridors just END, the do not loop around to the other side! That was frustrating, you would have to run all the way back to find an opening to get on the starboard or port side. After 30 minutes of frantic regifting, all fish extenders that we found now had ONE goody bag in it…Honestly, I was already tired before getting off the ship and possibly not in the best frame of mind to deal with what was coming.
We make it off the ship and take in the incredible day, we have been more than lucky with the weather!! Gorgeous!!
I beeline it over to the information desk right at the port for St. Maarten. I politely ask the lady there where do the buses stop at so we can take them into the island. She looked at me matter of factly, “No ma’am, they do not run into the island…there are no buses .”
Wait a second, I distinctly remember reading at least 10 accounts in the past year of travelers taking buses into Marigot and other beach areas. So, I explain this, “Ma’am, I did quite a bit of research and was told the buses could take us into the island.”
“No, you can not take buses.” (AH! So there ARE buses) “Buses only run into residential areas and you can not take them, you must take the taxis.” Here she points out the taxis just to my right and says I must take them to leave the port.
I can tell I am going to get nowhere with this immoveable character…my vacation time is not worth it. So, we head over to the taxis. I ask them if this is where we can find the buses. Again, the same lines. “There are no buses, you must take taxis.” Now, I am just getting annoyed.
The taxi driver, a weathered Holland native, proceeds to point out the rates for our party. For five, we are looking at $9 pp to go to Marigot, then another $7 pp to go on to Maho and another $9 pp to be brought back…at this rate they are wanting $125 just to tote us around. My jeep rental would have only been $90….but looking at the roads here and seeing the curves to them, I know driving is not an option. I have driven in England twice, Trail Ridge Road in Estes Park, CO and honestly, after this morning my mental state is not ready to tackle St. Maarten drivers. I had really only put aside $50 for transportation on this trip, figuring $2 pp on the buses. I just can not go over my budget. I quickly start the querying of options with this man on a mission. Could we just do XYZ for $$$? “No, all taxis must stick to published fares, it is throughout the island, you can not change these fares.”
So here we have an impasse. I have a budget, I can not go over the budget…he has a taxi, he will not accept less than published fares. No problem, I tell him that we will simply have to walk the 15 minutes from the port into Phillipsburg. We part ways and my intent is to find a vendor who may be able to be honest about the buses. All the ports in the Mediterranean had public bus options, many times we boarded in Nice/Villefranche and they never took money, they just told you to get in and sit down…that would have been so nice right now.
We spy a vendor that is American and decide she might be able to help us. She, too, says that we ‘can not’ take buses. But, she says something key! She says..”You can take the taxi into Maho for $20.” I explain that the published fares say $50 one way…her eyes get big as if that is not what she is used to hearing. She then says, “Maybe you should go back and see if someone will take you for $20.” I look around, and remember in my research that sometimes there are 3-4 ships in port. Well, we are the only one..and those taxis are just sitting there. So, I go ahead with my four little ducks in tow (Dh has no desire to get into the fray of bargaining so he is just fine following behind the kids) and head back armed with additional information to try. I see a driver standing beside her van and she solicits us for a ride, I explain that we are on a limited budget and would like to get to Maho (giving up Serafina at this point) and back for $50. She says that she can’t do it but that I should go back to the main terminal and ask the drivers there..someone may take us up on it.
A short walk back to the main terminal and here we are back with our little Dutch man. He points to the sign of published fares and I simply state, “Yes, I see them…I am only here to tell you that we only have $50 to get five of us to Maho and back.” A couple of the men start asking others and there were about three disinterested drivers who acted like I was asking them to jump into a boiling crevasse. They rolled their eyes and voiced their disdain for my request with arms flailing in the air urging me to go away. Fine, this is just not worth it…at that point..two travelers from Holland overheard me trying to work a deal. They asked if they could be added to our group and it might encourage them to take us all..they, too wanted to go to Maho. So, I went back to the few gentleman that were still considering our offer and told them we now had 7 passengers, we would pay $35 each way for the 7 of us. Again, I get rebuffed and I tell the Dutch couple that money talks, if they want it they will come after us. I take my four little ducks and we start walking to the port exit to go to Phillipsburg. Not what I had planned but I had a strong feeling we would not make it to the gate. Sure enough, we were 20 feet from leaving the port when our little Dutch man came running to us and waving his hands. “Hey, hey, I will take you to Maho!” I wish the Dutch couple had stayed with us….but they were nowhere to be found so we agreed on $50 for round trip and he stated that he owned his own vehicle so he could take any fare he wanted. I thought just 20 minutes ago, that there only published fares were taken. Ah well…another well fought battle for the family budget.
It was a bit awkward at first getting into his van, but he made several excuses to us about his previous position and then we started into a good conversation. He was a former marine for the Dutch military. He has traveled extensively throughout the world, never taken a smoke or drink nor found a tattoo that could taint his body. He has a brother that is a cardiologist in Boston, family still in Holland and scored a round trip on KLM to Amsterdam for less than $200 one time. So, it all comes to the familiar….he understands our plight with budgeting and goes on to say, “If you do a good turn, it comes back to you.” INDEED!!! This man is starting to grow on me. He shares a good bit of history about the island, the future site of a cancer clinic that will serve the many and the surrounding islands and how they process water from the sea. (their main source of fresh water). It was all interesting! The roads are a bit chaotic, narrow and round-a-bouts that normally do not phase me, but the drivers here seemed to ignore the polite “Give a gap, take a gap” that makes round-a-bouts work. We had several near misses, you know it’s bad when the driver says, “Ooohhhh..that was close..he almost hit me!” Oh and he honked a few times as well. Not how I want to spend my on island time, driving.
St. Maarten is not very nice. It was interesting that he pointed out how clean and how much the community is dedicated to keeping the island looking nice…but he says this in an area that at best would be seedy and depressed by traditional standards. Casinos peppered throughout the busy streets, adult bars, honestly…the architecture looked dated and worn. The five star hotels he pointed out on our way through the island would have plastic chairs on their balconies…not what you’d expect with five star. I had to look hard to see the ‘gems’ here. There were a few, but more the exception. The million dollar homes that were pointed out to us had serious upkeep issues…this is not what I expected.
We finally make it to Maho and realize the 11:20 plane just landed at 11:15…Missed it!! Then we read the sign at the restaurant and it will not be in until 2:20..we had agreed to leave at 1:30..so, we’re all a bit down that we’ll miss the landings. C’est la vie…we leave him at the restaurant bar and decide to tour around the area. The beach was mostly wiped out from Hurricane Isaac but is starting to have more sand added to it. Despite the ride in, the beach is beautiful, pristine even..no trash, very nice.
We walk over trying to find a few shops to check out. We somehow find ourselves in the middle of a hotel trying to find the main strip. We find a sundries shop and ask how to get to the main road and she says, “All shops are closed, it is the slow season.” Well, another joyful reception..they just don’t end here! We press on and find a strip of shops. Again, worn and tired looking. Most are closed but we find about 5 shops open. Thank goodness, a jewel…a Gelatto store!! We have such fond memories of having gelatto in Sorrento…we HAVE to stop…since we’re missing Serafina’s we can at least have a little bit of Italy!
It was divine!! Yummy Yummy!!
We eat and leave out thinking we’re pretty much done here in St. Maarten, we’ll head back early. On our way back to the restaurant we see the Dutch couple who had tried to bargain with us for the ride, they laughed and said, “You were right, we saw him running after you.” I felt bad for not taking more time to look or them, they ended up paying full price but were not too daunted…it was just the two of them and they did not feel like going through the pangs of bargaining. Maybe my pride is just way low..it’s easy for me I guess.
Almost to the restaurant at Maho, a plane lands right over our heads, very cool..just dropped out of the sky and BAM it was over our heads!! It was a small 10-12 seater but still very cool. We find our driver at the bar and tell him we’re ready to go back early..maybe he can make it back and get a full paying fare if we leave early
. But he notices a specific jet taxiing for takeoff..he said it’s not the landings that are interesting, it’s the takeoffs. This particular pilot he knows very well. This pilot will position his jets as close to the beach as possible and the locals know it. He told us to keep our eyes on the fence. Sure enough, there are people running up to the fence and hanging on…we’re all looking on in disbelief! That pilot pumps his engines and holds it there…you start to see vast measures of jet streams spiraling towards these fools holding on to the fence!! That was CRAZY!! Our Dutch marine driver said that a few months ago a girl from the US was blown back from the stream and broke her shoulder…really? This is what people do for fun? It was interesting to watch, and made our fight to get to Maho worth it…where else can you see humans testing fate and limb!
Here is a video of what type of hijinx we witnessed! Wished we would have videotaped our fools!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDZ-TVfMULw&feature=related
They're just nuts..
We make it back to the port and thank our driver for taking a chance on us. He was a very interesting man and we wished him well. It’s these kinds of moments with the locals that actually mean more to us than the destination..it is a great experience to hear other’s journeys!
Tonight is Pirate night and the girls are ready to get changed, our dear son can only thinking of getting back to his Vibe crew…sigh. There’s a point in every mother’s life where you know those little birds are taking island hopping flights to test their ability to leave the nest officially…you just hope they have safe landings and no turbulence. The girls, Grumpy and I head to character pictures..they love these, the prize of course is Jack Sparrow..he did not disappoint…oh if you can, GO SEE HIM! His mannerisms and affectations are spot on…
Later this evening we went to “Know Your Family” also hosted by Trevor. As he was asking for volunteers we did not realize that he had called on both me and my husband with our two daughters..we both headed up to the stage and realized we were next to each other. This would NOT do!! One set is enough to spill any embarrassing secrets, but two?? My daughter and I bowed out and let my husband take the heat!
Trevor again was awesome! Better on the subject matter, kept it clean but fun. My only complaint is so minor I hate to mention it, but it rubs me like sand stuck in your shoe. One little kid explained that he would take television away from his Dad for punishment because his Dad watches CNN, CBSNews and Foxnews. Trevor could not contain himself and made a comment that only rubs those politically sensitive raw. “Oh, I see, your father watches them in order of their accuracy of reporting from greatest to least.” I am on a CRUISE!! I am on VACATION from all political opinions. Leave your opinions out of it…if you’re an entertainer, entertain..do not give me a plug for your political leanings…there, I got it out..I would still give him an outstanding and excellent rating but that speck of dust just keeps him from glowing outright. And for the record, I think all three of those are not fair and balanced. CNN is the worst of the three pushing their agenda, Foxnews second and who even watches CBS News? Dan Rather was a joke as a journalist. I would love for Walter Cronkite days to make return. Just give me the facts and let me decide what I should ‘think’ about the issues. But NOT on vacation!!
There was day four…ah, tomorrow looking forward to St. John, we have a group of us from Disboards all going together and trying to catch the 8am ferry….can it happen??
TIP FOR St. Maarten: Do Bernard's Tours, all his clients were sooo happy!!! If we go again here, I will budget enough to do his tours for sure!!
MURPHY MOMENT: Pretty much the "No mahn" Jamaican dudes telling me to leave them with my deal...they will only work for posted rates, while their cohorts in information area mislead tourists. Turns out there ARE buses, our dear friends had no problem finding them and took them into town, she did say they were charging them $3 pp and only charged locals $2 pp...I just say St. Maarten is not on the up and up..too many shifty events going on that are exploiting tourists..