Moms.....I need suggestions and sensitivity traing.

[Kalliope]

Honest question, I haven't been to Disney recently as we did Universal Florida resident passes this year, but are 7 year olds in strollers sometimes? I have an 8 year old who hasn't seen a stroller in many years. I can see that certain developmental or physical issues warrant one.

At Disney, you will see plenty of healthy, able bodied kids as old as tweens in strollers.

 

[hicksnichols]

Hmmm... knowing my kids. when one got back from the trip (or while they were gone) there'd be a change of heart. My seven year old is likely to say the same as yours but will most definitely change his mind as soon as the car pulled out of the drive. I wouldn't chance it.

 

[dsdeleon]

Over the years it has worked out that once I had to fly to Tx and meet them in Orlando missing a few days at the beginning, DH had to work and missed a week with Savannah view AKL, and once where I just had to get out of town with my 6yo alone for an amazing week. We have gone and will go so much that probably all combinations of the 4 of us vacationing at WDW will occur. My kids know a trip with their name on it is somewhere in the works so really don't fret if they don't go on one.

 

[cjparker0110]

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if you shared any more info but I have these two questions:

1. What is her part time job?

2. What dates in November are you planning for?

I ask this because I used to work both retail and grocery: two part time jobs that have their busy season around then. For retail, the busy season starts the day after Thanksgiving (the day of now...sadly). For grocery it really starts the week of Thanksgiving...usually the weekend has a small increase over normal weekends, but Monday-Wednesday are insane! If she is working either of those industries, she should not have a problem taking time off if you go before that holiday week, which seems like a good idea anyway as I would expect the holiday week would usher in larger crowds.

 

[nugov2]

If my husband discussed vacation plans with our children before me, even on a "what if" basis, I'd absolutely veto that vacation idea.

OP, I think you knew this was a bad idea before you even asked here.

What, you cannot discuss vacation plans with your kids before talking to your spouse.

This thread is starting to remind me of the Seinfeld episode where kramer refers to marriage as man made prisons lol.

My DH can and has made plans with my son to go to Boston to see the Red Sox and then came to me to say ds and I want to go see these games, which will work in my schedule. He will go with only one of my 3 children. Not all kids have the same interests. His dd is not that into WDW by his own assessment. I see no issue with leaving her behind. I see no issue discussing potential plans with a child before going to mom. We have discussed and even begun to plan vacations and changed or cancelled and everyone was fine with it. That's life and I think kids can handle Mom and I talked about it and we won't be able to go right now without it becoming a meltdown.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

Hmmm... knowing my kids. when one got back from the trip (or while they were gone) there'd be a change of heart. My seven year old is likely to say the same as yours but will most definitely change his mind as soon as the car pulled out of the drive. I wouldn't chance it.

Great opportunity to teach her a lesson. Father and Mother ask if she wants to go with Father. She says no. Later wishes she had made another choice. Instead of indulging her, teach her to more carefully consider things in the future.

 

[Nancyg56]

Great opportunity to teach her a lesson. Father and Mother ask if she wants to go with Father. She says no. Later wishes she had made another choice. Instead of indulging her, teach her to more carefully consider things in the future.

I agree. My DD DSIL have not taken an adult trip to WDW despite the fact their DD told them she wanted a break. They said they are afraid she would be sad when they left without her. I can't know for sure and have not chimed in, but I believe they are the ones who would be sad. DGD told me she was fine with them going but that " she can't get rid of them" lol!!!

Now my DD and family do so much together that I know DGD was just teasing, but i also think there comes a time to teach children to say what they mean and mean what they say. There is not many things I despise worse than an adult who says one thing and then gets mad at the consequences.

 

[Fizban]

I've been away for a few days but let me try to help. Yes I have taken my two adult daughters on a dis trip when my wife couldn't get off of work. Yes she agreed. Later I did hear regret from her about her job and some sorrow she wasn't there. Now to the original poster, I reiterate, going without your wife is one thing, but if you don't take both girls you will have set in motion a very bad thing with the daughter that you don't take. You should never make a difference between the kids. They may say they are fine with it, but you WILL reap the results of that decision.
Again only giving this advice as an older dad and you asked for it. God bless whatever decision you make.

 

[LMN]

You should never had said one word to your daughters without discussing it thoroughly with your wife first. Now you've put your wife in a position of not being able to say no without feeling like a jerk. Not cool.

I completely agree with this. What you have done is very uncool. This should have been a conversation between your wife and yourself and not included the kids until you knew the wife was ok with it. Now if your wife says no she will be made to feel like the bad guy and the kids will know.

 

[skateshome]

For those that are concerned....and some of you appear to be. This was originally brought up to the kids 4 days ago. I haven't heard a word from them about it since. All. Kids are different. Mine are very well adjusted and there will be no meltdowns or blame game if we decide not to go. Concerning whether or not you have to do everything for one that you do for the other....I completely disagree. One likes some things and one likes others. They get equal time and love.....but it doesnf always have to be together.

Oh....and I'll add uncool to the list. LOL!

 

[Fizban]

Well you know your kids best. As I said you invited us to offer advice. To me it sounds as if you didn't want advice as much as simply wanting affirmation of your decision. Good luck to you.

 

[skateshome]

Sorry you feel that way. I would say I'm less likely to go now but if I do I am more likely to talk the youngest one into going as well. Thanks again for the feedback!!!

 

[Hezzy04]

Another option....if you take your older daughter and your wife and 7 year old stay home....maybe at some other point in time the 7 year old can get her own trip (to Disney or somewhere else) with one parent. That way each are getting a fun vacation where they get lots of one on one time.

 

[Hezzy04]

Also wanted to add...and I appear to be in the minority...I would love it if my husband surprised me with a trip and had arranged it all with my work!!

 

[Angel Ariel]

For those that are concerned....and some of you appear to be. This was originally brought up to the kids 4 days ago. I haven't heard a word from them about it since. All. Kids are different. Mine are very well adjusted and there will be no meltdowns or blame game if we decide not to go. Concerning whether or not you have to do everything for one that you do for the other....I completely disagree. One likes some things and one likes others. They get equal time and love.....but it doesnf always have to be together.

Oh....and I'll add uncool to the list. LOL!

The youngest doesn't *have* to have a Disney trip with you alone if the older one does, but I do think that if just you and the older one go to Disney, then you and the youngest should also have a special trip together. It doesn't have to be to Disney..it doesn't even have to be a trip..but she should get equal time with you, doing something she enjoys doing with you.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Also wanted to add...and I appear to be in the minority...I would love it if my husband surprised me with a trip and had arranged it all with my work!!

Arranging for a surprise and going around her because you think she's going to say no or just choose not to ask are different things, imo.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

Also wanted to add...and I appear to be in the minority...I would love it if my husband surprised me with a trip and had arranged it all with my work!!

I agree - his wife is a part time employee, not a woman climbing the corporate ladder. He has a personal relationship with the boss, and helped his wife get the job.

While my wife and I agree that it wouldn't be fair to her co-workers, we also wonder if others take off during this window. I would be willing to bet that some have unless there is a policy prohibiting it. Worth asking the boss, and I wouldn't hesitate to do so in the OP's shoes.

Neither my wife nor I understood the anger expressed in those comments.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

Arranging for a surprise and going around her because you think she's going to say no or just choose not to ask are different things, imo.

You are implying intent that the OP did not express. If he went to the boss, it would be to set up a surprise trip for his wife.

 

[Mambo Junkie]

First of all.....we have 7 and 8 year old daughters and are all big Disney fans. We are waiting to close on DVC in the next couple of weeks for BLT. We've gone he last 4 years in a row in May and will be staying with DVc points at BLT again this coming May 2016.

Here's the problem......I would really like to go in November for a short trip. however, my wife's part time job has its busy season then so there is no way she will even ask for time off. Our 8 year is just like me. Up early and go all day. Our 7 year old is a little more like Mom. They like to take their time in the morning and generally go at quite a bit slower pace.

I've had a couple of "what if" conversations with my girls and the 8 year old would love for just me and her to go and 7 year old would just as much like to stay at home with mom. I explained to them we will probably not do this and they know we're going next May anyway.....so no big deal to them.

So here's the problem. Wife is big Disney fan herself.

Am I out of bounds for even considering this? Am I a bad husband? Will she divorce me after 20 years? LOL!

Would you do this and if so any suggestions on a good way to present my case or how to go about bringing it up?

Silly post I know but it's possible there could be some hurt feelings for even thinking about it. LOL!

Help me Disboards....or set me straight!!

It would not bother me in the least. What I would do is plan a one on one trip with the 8 year old, then do something special a few weeks later with the 7 year old. As someone before said, if your wife was going to be upset, you would know. I would be fine as long as there was equal one on one time for each child.

 

[Angel Ariel]

You are implying intent that the OP did not express. If he went to the boss, it would be to set up a surprise trip for his wife.

That was not how his initial post talking about that came across.